I 


> 


I 


Mi     > 
\ 


o 


cure 


lecto 

a?  Arizona  Cit 


;  JAMES -rA5ELL 

W         ^--          ^  y^^«-j — p— 


.  NEWS  COMPANY 

WESTERN    AGENTS 


'MNTEKS 

i,  Cal. 


CALABAZAS 


—  OR  — 


AMUSING  RECOLLECTIONS 


—  OF  — 


AN    ARIZONA    "CITY" 


—  BY  — 


J.'CABELL  BROWN 


ILLUSTRATED  WITH  ORIGINAL  DRAWINGS 


Published  by 

VAT.LEAU  &  PETERSON,  PRINTERS  AND  PUBLISHERS, 
410  Sansome  St.,  San  Francisco. 


Copyright  1892  by  J.  CABELL  BROWN.       All  Rights  Reserved 


1(5333 

Bancroft  LibrarS 


PREFACE. 


IN  picture,  poem,  and  prose  has  the  stranger  in  the 
far  west  been  caricatured  and  ridiculed  as  the  ' '  Ten- 
derfoot ' '  victim  of  that  dangerous  compound  of  whis- 
kers, whisky,  dynamite,  and  death  known  as  the 
"Bad-man." 

To  the  reader,  this  book  will  show  that  the  average 
,  western  ' '  Bad-man  ' '  is  not  nearly  so  dangerous  as  is 
the  California  flea  or  the  Hoboken  bed-bug ;  that  he  can 
use  his  legs  to  good  advantage  in  certain  contingen- 
cies, and  that  his  reputation  for  being  phenominally 
wide  awake,  is  a  figment  of  his  brain,  or  at  least  exag- 
gerated. 

Kvery  incident  herein  related  was  an  actual  occur- 
rence, and  somewhat  similar  ones  are  within  the  expe- 
rience of  most  western  pioneers.  Should  they  serve 
to  amuse  the  reader,  the  author  will  have  attained  his 
purpose,  J.  CABEU,  BROWN. 

Oakland,  CaL,  1892. 


CONTENTS. 


CALABAZAS — Its  Location,  Its  Surroundings.  Its 
Rise,  Its  Industries,  Its  Society,  Its  Impres- 
sive Hospitality,  and  Why  Its  People  moved 
to  the  Line 13-3  7 

THE  CALABAZAS  KID — His  Arrival,  His  Sojourn, 
His  Subjugation,  and  His  Departure  for  the 
Line 39~6i 

THE  CALABAZAS  PRKACHKR — His  Arrival,  His 
Sermon,  His  Backsliding,  and  His  Departure 
for  the  Line .62-91 

THE  CALABAZAS  WIDOW — She  Comes,  She  In- 
vests, She  Increases  Her  "Wad,"  and  She 
Departs  for  the  Line 92-147 

THE  CALABAZAS  CLUB — Its  Olympian  Games, 
Mr.  Murphy,  Mr.  O'Connor,  and  Mr.  Riley, 
and  their  Departure  for  the  Line. 148-166 

THE  CALABAZAS  BABY — His  Parents,  Lucky 
Smith  and  the  Little  Woman,  His  Birth,  His 
Bereavement,  and  He  goes  over  the  Line  168-196 

THE  CALABAZAS  JUSTICE — His  Constable,  His 
Troubles,  The  Final  Riot,  and  His  Departure 
for  the  Line 197-251 


LIST  OF  ILLUSTRATIONS. 


CALABAZAS,  Frontispiece 12 

THE  KID 38 

THE  PREACHER  HAS  A  DIFFICULTY 86 

THE  ' '  WELLY  GOOD  MEN  ' '  WATCH 

THE  "WELLY  SICK  LADY 112 

MR.  MURPHY'S  TONSORIAL  PARLORS 150 

LUCKY  SMITH 168 

THE  LITTLE  WOMAN  "TURNS  HER 

TOES  UP  ON  SMITH  " 186 

THE  FIRST  NATURAL  DEATH  IN  CAL- 

ABAZAS, 206 

"AND  BEER  WAS  SENT  TO  THE  LADIES," —  232 


DEDICATED 

TO  A 
PIONEER  OF  THE  WEST, 

MY 

EvSTEEMED  FRIEND, 
HENRY    P.    BOWIE,    ESQ., 

OF 
SAN  FRANCISCO. 


CALABAZAS. 


ITS  LOCATION — ITS  SURROUNDINGS — ITS  RISK — ITS 
INDUSTRIKS — ITS  SOCIETY — ITS  IMPRESSIVE  HOS- 
PITALITY— WHY  ITS  PEOPLE  MOVED  TO  THE  LINE. 

IF  a  person  seeking  valuable  and  interesting  infor- 
mation will  take  a  map  and  pass  his  finger  down  the 
center  of  Arizona  until  at  a  point  where  the  boundary 
line  dividing  the  United  States  from  Mexico  diverges 
from  an  east  and  west  direction,  to  one  running  north- 
westerly until  it  meets  the  Colorado  River,  he  will  see 
near  the  diverging  point  a  dot  marked,  Calabazas 
[English  gourds  or  squashes.]  This  dot  is  the  loca- 
tion, and  Calabazas  is  the  name  of  the  town;  a  town 
with  a  short  history,  it  is  true ;  a  history  not  widely 
known,  but  none  the  less  interesting  and  eventful. 
By  seeking  further  he  will  see  that  it  lies  at  the  junc- 
tion of  two  railroads — on  the  map— that  it  is  on  the 
banks  of  the  Santa  Cruz  River,  and  the  astonishing 
additional  fact,  that  the  said  river  has  neither  source 
nor  outlet. 

Calabazas  is,  what  is  left  of  it,  near  the  head  of  the 


14  CAI<ABAZAS. 

Santa  Cruz  Valley.  At  this  point  the  river  carried  no 
water  excepting  after  heavy  storms.  It  was  just  as 
veil,  for  the  Calabazans,  present  or  prospective,  never 
bathed,  and,  without  exception,  were  total  abstain- 
ers— from  water. 

The  valley  at  Calabazas  was  about  a  quarter  of  a  mile 
wide.  Opposite  the  town  site  a  small  valley,  or  caiion 
debouched,  down  whose  rocky  bottom  a  railroad  was 
being  built.  To  the  southwest  were  seen  the  moun- 
tains forming  the  boundary  between  Mexico  and  the 
United  States,  between  which  and  the  town  laid  ex- 
tensive "mesas,"  or  elevated  table-lands,  that  ended 
in  low  bluffs  overlooking  the  dry  river  bed.  Haifa 
mile  south  of  the  town  a  small  ridge  jutted  out  from 
the  mesas,  almost  entirely  closing  the  valley.  At  the 
point  of  this  ridge  was  a  dense,  green  patch  of  small 
Cottonwocd  trees.  Thence  to  the  boundary  line  ten 
miles  distant,  called,  through  this  region,  "The  Line," 
are  a  series  of  low  hills  and  small  valleys. 

The  land  upon  which  Calabazas  stood  was  the  prop- 
erty of  the  Calabazas  Land  and  Mining  Company,  the 
town  being  a  newly  born  child  of  the  same  Company. 
The  C.  L.  &  M.  Company  claimed  all  the  earth  from 
the  Mexican  boundary  to  as  far  north,  east,  and  west 
as  they  conveniently  or  safely  could.  Unless  some 
one  found  a  mine  or  spring,  there  was  none  to  dispute 
their  title,  for  the  land  was  valueless  except  in  prox- 
imity to  water.  A  railroad  was  projected  to  run  from 
Tucson  down  the  valley.  It  is  still  projected. 

Calabazas  had  for  neighbors,  Tubac,  an  ancient 
aboriginal  and  Mexican  village  of  not  more  than  thirty 
people,  about  twenty  miles  north,  with  whom  it 


CALABAZAS.  15 

had  a  feud,  and  Nogales,  situated  just  over  the  line, 
consisting  of  a  highly  esteemed  mescal  distillery,  and 
the  Mexican  Custom  House  buildings. 

I  hope  it  will  not  be  assumed  that  Calabazas  was  an 
aggregation  of  iron  and  stone  warehouses  filled  with 
luxuries  for  its  inhabitants,  or  that  the  hum  of  its 
crowded  streets  was  to  be  heard  for  miles  away,  or  that 
the  residence  streets  were  lined  with  shade  trees,  or 
that  the  mansions  of  the  aristocracy  were  embowered 
in  tropical  flowers,  or  that  its  society  was  divided  into 
1  four  hundreds. '  Such  would  be  doomed  to  poignant 
disappointment. 

Calabazas  City,  as  I  found  it,  consisted  of  the  found- 
ation of  a  prospective  hotel  which  was  known  sarcasti- 
cally, as  the  ' '  Hotel  Futurity. ' '  A  small  frame  build- 
ing used  as  a  country  store  and  post  office,  with  that 
wonderful  assortment  of  cheap  and  varied  wares  never 
seen  but  in  country  stores,  and  a  small  brick  house 
of  two  stories,  one  room  to  each  story,  the  lower  floor 
of  which  was  used  as  a  saloon,  the  upper  one  as 
the  United  States  Custom  House,  and  residence  of  the 
collector  of  the  port  and  his  staff  of  assistants,  all  com- 
prised in  the  person  of  one — Drinkwater — an  inspector 
reporting  to  the  El  Paso  collector.  Attached  to  this 
building  was  a  brick  " corral"  [cattle  pen,]  having  a 
large  gate  in  front,  and  also  an  entrance  from  the 
saloon.  This  corral  was  used  as  a  stable,  a  place  in 
which  to  secure  stock  during  Indian  raids,  and  a  fort 
from  which  to  repulse  the  raiders. 

The  saloon  room  had  a  door  and  window  in  one  of 
the  longer  sides  facing  the  road.  It  was  furnished 
with  a  dilapidated  cook  stove,  a  pine  counter,  eight 


1 6  CAI.ABAZAS. 

or  ten  poisonous  looking  bottles,  a  few  various  sized, 
dirty  glasses,  a  tin  quart  measure  for  water,  several 
boxes  for  seats,  and  a  barkeeper  with  unkempt  hair, 
stubby  beard,  and  a  piratical  breath.  He  was  shod 
with  dusty,  cowhide  boots,  into  the  legs  of  which  were 
stuffed  the  bottoms  of  a  pair  of  faded  overalls.  He 
wore  a  dirty  blue  flannel  shirt,  open  at  the  throat,  ex- 
posing an  equally  dirty  skin  underneath.  His  head 
was  covered  with  an  old  rust  colored  felt  hat,  the  brim 
of  which  was  tilted  up  behind  and  pulled  down  in 
front,  a  very  fashionable  and  taking  style  of  wearing 
the  hat  in  such  towns,  being  a  sign  occipital  that  the 
wearer  is  not  stuck  up,  and  has  all  the  chivalry  neces- 
sary for  shooting  any  enemy  he  gets  the  "drop  on." 
A  couple  of  revolvers  hung  at  his  waist.  The  saloon 
was  isolated  from  the  room  above  by  exposed  floor 
joists  overlaid  with  a  shrunken,  unmatched  pine  floor. 

The  upper  room,  from  which  the  building  took  the 
name  of  Custom  House,  was  approached  by  a  set  of 
rickety  outside  stairs,  that  ended  at  a  landing  and 
door  directly  over  the  saloon  door.  A  window  in  the 
wall  at  each  gable  end  admitted  light. 

The  room  was  in  keeping  with  our  republican  sim- 
plicity. In  its  center  stood  a  pine  table  containing 
one  drawer.  Upon  the  table  was  a  dusty  ink  bottle, 
two  or  three  rusty  pens,  a  pack  of  dirty  playing  cards, 
a  few  soiled  blank  forms,  a  "Mescal"  [Mexican 
whisky]  bottle  and  a  goblet,  which,  having  no  foot, 
was  reversed,  showing  that  the  user  was  a  person  well 
informed  as  to  the  social  usage  in  high-toned  clubs  on 
festive  occasions.  A  couple  of  rough  boards,  supported 
by  hay  rope,  hung  from  the  ceiling  joists.  These 


CALABAZAS.  17 

shelves  held  the  library,  blanks  and  records.  A  num- 
ber of  boxes,  used  as  chairs,  stood  around  the  room. 
A  disreputable  looking  oak  chair,  with  a  bottom  made 
from  one-half  of  a  barrel  head,  was  the  official  throne. 
The  official  couch,  consisting  of  a  very  mangy  moss 
mattress  and  a  blanket  seedy  enough  to  plant,  were 
rolled  together  and  stood  in  one  corner. 

Hanging  on  the  wall  was  a  large  map  of  Calabazas. 
Upon  it  was  depicted  a  flourishing  city.  Great  hotels 
towered  up  from  the  business  thoroughfares — in  black 
letters.  Church  steeples  pierced  the  air  in — blue  let- 
ters. Handsome  private  residences  graced  the  streets 
—in  yellow  letters.  Palatial  public  edifices,  and  monu- 
ments, surrounded  by  parks,  occupied  squares — in  red 
letters.  Splendid  avenues — in  green  letters,  and 
double  rows  of  black  lines  indicated  street  railways — 
in  shaded  letters. 

On  the  map,  Calabazas  was  many  square  miles  in 
area,  with  presumably  a  large  population;  whereas  the 
sole  street  was  the  stage  road  from  Tucson  to  Hermo- 
sillo,  Mexico,  and  five  living  souls  comprised  the  en- 
tire white  population, — Drinkwater,  the  saloon  keeper, 
the  store  keeper,  Crandall,  the  land  agent,  and  myself. 

In  the  suburbs  (?)  a  quarter  of  a  mile  away,  lived  a 
few  Chinese  who  had  been  making  brick.  Their  time 
was  now  devoted  to  gambling  and  cutting  railroad 
ties  or  cord  wood  in  the  adjoining  scantily  wooded 
gulches. 

Near  the  town  were  scattered  a  few  blasted  Cotton - 
wood  trees,  leafless  and  whitened  by  storm.  These 
answered  the  purpose  of  telegraph  poles  in  sudden 
emergencies,  which  were  not  infrequent  later.  Shal- 


1 8  C  A  I,  A  BAZAS. 

low  wells  supplied  the  little  water  needed  for  animals. 

Calabazas  bade  fair  to  remain  as  it  was,  for  it  could 
never  possibly  live  up  to  that  gorgeous  map.  As  a 
health  resort,  it  would  hardly  be  selected,  though  no 
one  had  ever  died  there,  its  citizens  were  too  lazy  to 
draw  their  last  breath.  It  was  a  good  place  in  which 
to  take  a  Turkish  bath,  for  the  sun  beat  down  with  an 
intensity  unequalled  elsewhere;  but  to  perspire  in 
Calabazas  was  a  shocking  waste  of  whisky.  Invalids 
requiring  a  low  diet  might  have  come,  if  they  could 
have  survived  the  trip — they  certainly  would  have 
found  the  diet  low  enough.  It  might  have  been  uti- 
lized as  a  burial  place  for  the  millionaire  dead.  In  its 
climate  and  alkaline  soil  the  bodies  wrould  have  been 
incorruptible,  and  an  incorruptible  millionaire,  dead 
or  alive,  would  be  worth  a  pilgrimage  to  see. 

My  arrival,  as  a  permanency,  was  viewed  with  much 
suspicion,  until  a  few  days  intercourse  convinced  the 
older  residents  that  I  was  not  a  detective,  revenue 
officer,  or  a  special  agent.  For  a  small  monthly  stip- 
end paid  Drinkwater,  I  was  permitted  to  call  the 
southeast  corner  of  the  Custom  House  room  my  bed- 
chamber, and  there  roll  up  in  my  blankets ;  the  pack 
of  cards,  the  table  desk  and  the  goblet  were  at  my 
command.  I  could  quench  my  eccentric  thirst  at  the 
saloon  * '  olla ' '  [pronounced  oya]  a  porous  and  cooling 
unglazed  jar  used  for  holding  drinking  water,  or  was 
welcome  to  draw  all  the  water  I  chose  from  the  well. 
Occasionally  my  own  soap  and  towel  were  at  my  ser- 
vice; I  could  import  mescal  from  the  L,ine,  duty  free, 
if  I  divided  equally  with  Drinkwater,  and  could  bor- 
row my  shaving  tools  when  not  in  use  by  my  towns- 


CAL.ABAZAS.  Ig 

men.  I  could  make  coffee  or  tea  on  the  bar-room 
stove,  if  enough  was  made  for  all  hands,  and  in  fact,  I 
was  taken  to  their  hearts  as  one  of  themselves.  The 
tri-weekly  stage,  which  was  a  "buck-board,"  [an 
Arizona  instrument  of  torture,]  brought  the  mail  and 
stray  travelers. 

One  morning  the  deadly  dullness  of  our  life  was 
varied  by  a  Mexican,  who  rushed  in  to  say  he  had 
been  attacked  by  Apache  Indians  who  had  tried  to 
shoot  him  with  a  cannon.  Drink  water  immediately 
secured  his  bottle  of  mescal  and  bottomless  goblet, 
the  corral  gates  were  locked,  and  citizens,  arming 
themselves,  gathered  in  the  saloon  to  protect  it  from 
the  wily  Apache. 

Several  hours  passing  and  no  attack,  it  was  consid- 
ered safe  to  reconnoitre ;  the  Mexican  stepped  out  of 
the  door,  and  as  quickly  stepped  back,  saying  that  the 
Indians  had  the  cannon  pointed  at  the  Custom  House. 
This  report  made  us  quite  nervous  until  we  reasoned 
one  with  another,  and  decided  that  conceding  the 
Apache  to  be  a  holy  terror,  ubiquitous,  and  continu- 
ally doing  impossible  things,  still  it  was  rather  out  of 
the  usual  course  for  Indians  to  pack  around  a  cannon  to 
commit  murderous  assaults  with.  We  concluded  to 
all  go  out  and  take  a  look ;  we  did  so,  and  in  solid 
phalanx  advanced  upon  the  torrid  Apaches,  who  in 
thisinstance  were  surveyors,  and  the  dreaded  cannon  a 
theodolite.  They  certainly  looked  as  dirty  as  Indians. 
After  a  banquet  on  mescal  and  cigars  from  the  saloon, 
we  smoked  the  pipe  of  peace,  and  were  informed  that 
the  laborers  were  now  grading  for  the  railroad  down 
the  canon. 


20  CAI«ABAZAS. 

Calabazas  soon  felt  the  increased  prosperity  brought 
about  by  the  proximity  of  the  railroad  builders.  Cran- 
dall  had  no  longer  a  sinecure,  and  Drinkwater  began 
wearing  paper  collars  as  became  a  Government  official. 
The  stage  came  laden  each  trip  with  settlers,  or  those 
having  business  with  the  railroad  company.  Three 
wideawake  and  enterprising  Chinamen;  Cum  Sing, 
Hi  Sing,  and  Lo  Sing,  purchased  a  lot  next  to  the 
Custom  House  and  erected  the  ' '  Palace  Hotel. ' ' 
The  hotel  was  a  large  wall  tent  of  cotton  duck,  floored 
with  rough  pine  boards  and  divided  into  two  rooms  by 
a  canvas  partition.  The  rear  one  was  the  kitchen, 
and  the  front  the  dining-room.  The  latter  was  furn- 
ished with  a  half-dozen  small  oilcloth  covered  tables, 
having  benches  on  either  side.  There  was  one  table 
on  which  high  priced  delicacies  were  served.  Around 
this  were  set,  in  Queen  Ann  style,  four  common  oak 
chairs.  At  the  earnest  request  of  the  aristocracy  of 
the  town  a  private  dining  saloon  was  partitioned  off 
in  one  corner  of  the  large  room.  The  walls  of  this 
were  of  thin  cotton  cloth  secured  to  the  roof  with  pins 
and  to  the  floor  with  tacks.  The  doors  of  the  hotel 
were  of  canvas,  locked  and  barred  each  night  with 
pins  or  mesquit  thorns. 

Hi  Sing  and  L,o  Sing  were  in  charge  of  the  kitchen. 
Cum  Sing  was  manager,  butler,  steward,  waiter, 
bouncer,  and  general  utility  man,  for  which  he  was 
well  fitted,  being  a  large  man,  and  of  ingratiating 
speech.  He  carried  himself  very  rakishly;  gambled, 
swore  and  drank  whisky  like  a  ' '  Mellican ; ' '  had  a 
contempt  for  "  tender  feet, "  and  was  very  kind- 
hearted. 


CAI<ABAZAS.  21 

The  sleeping  and  dining  room  of  the  hotel  was  one 
and  the  same.  Tired  customers  who  had  blankets  to 
roll  up  in,  could  sleep  on  the  floor  free  of  charge,  and 
they  were  grateful  for  the  privilege.  Barring  the 
hotel  cats  that  secreted  themselves  or  slept  during  the 
heat  of  the  day,  and  confined  their  rambles  and  fights, 
courtships  and  yowling  to  the  dining  room  at  night, 
the  lodgers  slept  soundly  and  were  satisfied  with  the 
privacy. 

The  bill  of  fare  was  in  keeping  with  the  hotel's 
general  appearance,  the  locality,  and  the  customs  of 
the  country.  Flapjacks,  and  syrup,  bacon  and  frijo- 
les,  pronounced ' '  freholis  [beans,] ' '  were  staples.  Oleo- 
margarine or  ' '  bull-butter' '  was  plentiful.  The  soup 
abounded  in  mystery  and  the  hash  in  artfulness.  The 
bacon  had  no  more  lean  than  is  found  in  whale's 
blubber.  The  beans  were  cooked  ' '  en  masse ' '  once  a 
week,  and  warmed  up  for  the  daily  meals ;  should 
they,  during  the  week,  become  soured  by  the  warm 
weather  and  close  imprisonment,  their  tempers  were 
placated  with  soda  allopathically  administered.  Many 
painful  experiences  were  had  with  these  beans  after 
they  had  been  sweetened  to  the  taste,  but  their  other 
bad  qualities  not  eliminated.  It  was  not  Calabazas 
etiquette  to  use  a  knife  on  the  butter,  it  being  more 
convenient  and  fashionable  to  pour  it  over  the  bread 
from  a  spoon,  for  the  temperature  of  the  hotel  was 
seldom  below  the  boiling  point.  Milk  was  to  be  had 
from  a  condensed  cow.  If  the  proprietors  had  a  pros- 
perous week,  canned  tomatoes  assisted  in  making  a 
ravishing  Sunday  dinner.  In  the  private  room  the 
rarest  bric-a  brae  ironstone  ware  decorated  the  tables. 


22  CAI^ABAZAS. 

In  the  large  room  the  service  was  of  tin,  which  could 
be  readily  straightened  out  after  any  personal  difficulty 
or  encounter  between  the  guests. 

The  Palace  Hotel  was  the  abode  of  a  fat,  haughty, 
somnolent  fly,  who,  after  a  short  sojourn  in  our  midst, 
became  so  discouraged  and  rancorous  that  he  was  for- 
ever recklessly  suiciding  in  the  debilitated  soup,  the 
relaxed  butter,  or  the  viscid  molasses.  His  body  was 
embalmed  in  the  mustard,  and  his  person  enriched  the 
tea  and  coffee.  He  ornamented  the  ceilings,  the  walls 
and  the  tables,  in  bunches,  festoons  and  wreaths.  His 
constant,  unvarying  hum  was  heard  by  day  and  by 
night,  above  the  din  of  the  diners,  and  above  the  love 
songs  of  the  cats ;  his  eternal  buzz  assailed  the  ear  un- 
ceasingly. This  species  of  fly  was  only  possible  to 
Calabazas,  an  experience  with  him  was  an  education 
in  cuss  words. 

Large  wall  tents  were  erected  upon  the  choicer  lots 
adjacent  to  the  Custom  House  and  store;  it  is  hardly 
necessary  to  say  that  these  were,  without  exception, 
the  home  of  the  illusive  faro  chips  and  the  enlivening 
whisky.  The  more  aristocratic  tents  and  those  in  the 
fashionable  part  of  town,  bore  such  titles  as  "Rest  for 
the  Weary, "  "  The  Golden  Fleece, "  "  The  Pantheon, ' ' 
"The  Bank  Exchange,"  or  "The  Coliseum."  Their 
proprietors  wore  white  shirts,  initialed,  ivory  sleeve 
buttons,  massive  oroide  watches  and  chains,  and  ivory 
handled  pistols  and  bowie-knives.  The  owners  of 
these  refreshment  places  and  the  dealers  of  their  games 
were  the  souls  of  Calabazas  honor.  They  constituted 
the  upper  stratum  of  Calabazas  society,  and  faro  chips 
on  their  games  passed  as  current  coin. 


CALABAZAS.  23 

The  Calabazas  gamblers  and  saloon  men  were  char- 
acteristic ones  of  the  far  West.  They  would  express 
unbounded  affection  for  each  other  one  moment,  and 
the  very  next,  in  a  quarrel  over  some  trivial  matter, 
use  one  another  for  targets.  Of  course  the  survivor 
would  pay  all  of  the  funeral  expenses  with  no  nig- 
gardly hand,  and,  if  possible,  employ  a  brass  band  to 
express,  with  trombone  and  bass  drum,  the  intensity 
of  his  grief  over  his  dead  friend.  At  the  funeral  he 
would  be  chief  mourner — out  on  bonds,  or  in  charge 
of  a  deputy  sheriff — and  would  bemoan  the  fate  that 
Jack  or  Bill  had  brought  upon  himself  by  being  ' '  too 
fresh ' '  to  reach  for,  or  too  slow  in  drawing  his  gun 
from  the  hip.  On  one  occasion  a  "Sport,"  at  the 
risk  of  his  life,  saved  that  of  his  churn  or  ' '  Pard. ' '  In 
talking  of  the  occurrence,  the  saved  friend,  unedu- 
cated save  in  cards  and  shooting,  said,  in  blood-curd- 
ling language,  "I  haven't  never  saw  anything  as 
nervy  as  Bill's  throwing  up  Bob's  pistol  hand."  Bill 
was  an  educated  man,  and  his  ears  had  audibly  cracked 
at  this  exhibition  of  his  ' '  Pard's ' '  grammar.  He,  in  a 
friendly  way  corrected  him.  This  was  taken  as  offen- 
sive. To  mollify  him  Bill  tried  the  universal  panacea  of 
asking  the  crowd  up  to  drink,  and  all  accepted  but  his 
chum.  Bill  then  asked  why  he  did  not  drink,  make 
friends  or  fight.  The  offended  man  without  a  word, 
gently  slapped  Bill's  face  with  his  finger  tips,  and  both 
reached  for  their  weapons.  As  quick  as  thought  two 
shots  were  fired,  and  the  ungrammatical  man  lay  dead, 
while  his  former  friend  laid  by  his  side  mortally 
wounded.  To  be  grammatical,  in  Calabazas,  was  to 
covet  death. 


24  CALABAZAS. 

They  had  no  mercy  on  the  enem}"  on  whom  they 
fortunately  had  the  "drop,"  and  feared  no  one  but  the 
enemy  who  unfortunately  had  the  "drop"  on  them. 
This  "drop"  being  the  unpleasant  predicament  one 
was  in  who,  unarmed  or  unready  to  shoot  during  a 
quarrel,  was  consequently  forced  to  view  the  bullets 
cuddled  up  in  the  chambers  of  his  enemy's  revolver, 
well  knowing  that  if  the  finger  on  the  trigger  should 
be  crooked,  fatal  results  would  ensue.  It  was  custom- 
ary for  the  gentleman  having  the  ' '  drop ' '  to  give  as  a 
preliminary  to  the  final  act,  a  very  farcical  rendition, 
to  outsiders,  of  the  intensity  of  his  feelings  toward  his 
helpless  enemy.  For  any  one  to  have  had  the  ' '  drop ' ' 
on  them  was  the  cause  of  many  wakeful  nights,  and 
the  drinking  of  many  cocktails,  until  the  "drop"  was 
returned  with  interest. 

They  detested  nothing  so  much  as  deception.  Should 
a  man  call  for  a  drink  and  have  no  money  with  which 
to  pay,  it  would  insure  him  a  bullet  or  broken  head ; 
yet,  if  he  said  he  was  ' '  broke ' '  and  wanted  a  ' '  bracer ' ' 
none  of  the  better  class  would  refuse  him.  They  would 
have  felt  disgraced  in  their  own  estimation  did  they 
do  so.  "Any  man  was  liable  to  be  broke,  but  let  him 
say  so,  like  a  man." 

By  some  strange  anomaly  these  people  could  not, 
unmoved,  see  human  suffering,  unless  they  were 
angry — always  a  fierce  uncontrolled  anger — nor  could 
they  hear  of  suffering  without  pecuniarily  trying  to 
relieve  it.  They  were  a  strange  compound  of  whims 
and  fancies,  and,  under  their  varying  impulses,  were 
capable  of  the  most  generous  and  brave,  or  the  mean- 
est and  most  cowardly  acts.  A  church —  that  they 


CAUIBAZAS.  25 

would  sooner  drink  water  than  enter — would  be  amply 
subscribed  for,  irrespective  of  creed ;  and  public  im- 
provements or  holiday  celebrations  were  generously 
contributed  to. 

In  New  Mexico  and  Arizona,  strange  to  say,  the 
most  deadly  ruffians  were  seldom  over  twenty-five 
years  of  age ;  very  many  not  over  eighteen  or  twenty. 
One  that  was  scarcely  twelve  years  old  had  quite  a 
reputation,  and  was  responsible  for  the  conduct  of  two 
extra  heavy  revolvers,  and  a  bowie-knife  large  enough 
for  a  hay  scythe.  Each  of  these  desperadoes  had  his 
pistol  handle  notched  for  the  men  actually,  or  presu- 
mably killed  by  its  owner.  Their  instincts  were 
cowardly,  and  their  delight  was  to  abuse  women  or 
impose  on  civil,  quiet  persons.  Upon  the  fears  of 
such  they  played,  until  successful  bluffing  and  contin- 
ual practice  with  their  recklessly  handled  weapons, 
gave  them  the  necessary  courage  to  clinch  their, 
record  by  assassinating  some  defenceless  person,  when 
assured  of  escape. 

The  generic  name  for  these  youths  of  evil  fame, 
throughout  the  Territories  was  '  *  Kid. ' '  As  Calabazas 
increased  in  population,  they  became  nearly  as  com- 
mon as  the  almost  equally  annoying  Calabazas  fly.  A 
new  comer,  to  whom  the  honors  were  shown,  would, 
at  a  cost  for  refreshments  of  from  twenty-five  cents  to 
one  dollar  an  acquaintance,  be  introduced  to  "New 
Mexican  Kids,"  "Wyoming  Kids,"  "Arizona  Kids," 
"Colorado  Kids,"  "Texas  Kids,"  and  such  a  variety 
of  other  kids,  that  he  would  be  so  bewildered  between 
the  effects  of  vile  whisky  and  the  Kid  introductions, 


26  CALABAZAS. 

as  to  come  to  the  conclusion  that  in  Calabazas  he  had 
struck  a  human  goat  ranche. 

The  genus  "kid"  wore  his  hair  long,  and  in  curls 
upon  his  shoulder  in  cow-boy  or  scout  fashion ;  had  an 
incipient  moustache,  and  sported  a  costume  made  of 
buckskin  ornamented  with  fringe,  tassels,  and  strings 
of  the  same  material — the  dirtier  the  better.  His  head 
was  covered  with  a  cow-boy's  hat  of  phenomenal 
width  of  brim,  having  many  metal  stars,  half  moons, 
etc.,  around  the  crown.  Upon  his  feet  he  wore  either 
moccasins  or  very  high  heeled,  stub  toed  boots,  and  an 
enormous  pair  of  spurs,  with  little  steel  balls  that 
jingled  at  each  step.  Buckled  around  his  waist  would 
be  a  cartridge  belt  holding  two  carefully  sighted  re- 
volvers, and  a  bone  handled  bowie-knife  in  his  boot 
leg,  completed  his  dress.  He  was  invariably  the 
proud  owner  of  a  "  cay use  "  horse  and  Mexican  saddle, 
a  bridle  with  reins  of  plaited  hair,  and  a  * '  riata  * ' 
[lariat]  tied  behind  the  saddle.  The  '  *  cayuse  ' '  was 
never  far  from  his  master,  for  when  that  gentleman 
wanted  a  horse  he  wanted  him  badly;  either  to  escape 
from  a  worse  man  than  himself,  or  to  escape  the  con- 
sequences of  having  killed  one. 

The  arrival  of  the  stage  coach  was  a  deliriously  joy- 
ful event,  for  all  of  the  new  comers  had  to  be  carefully 
questioned  and  their  reasons  for  coming  summed  up. 
The  motive  for  his  visit  being  shown,  if  one  would 
attend  to  his  own  business, dissipate  a  little  so  as  not 
to  appear  mean,  and  accept  their  rough  jokes  or  horse 
play  in  a  proper  and  safe  spirit,  he  would  not  only  get 
along,  but  would  make  some  friends  who  would  stand 
by  him :  should  the  fact  of  his  being  quiet  or  not  carry- 


CALABAZAS.  ?7 

ing  a  weapon,  be  taken  advantage  of  by  some  ' '  rustler ' ' 
or  "bluffer,"  to  make  a  bad  man's  record  by  picking 
a  quarrel  with  him. 

At  first,  Calabazas  was  so  quiet  that  Drinkwater's 
sprees  were  a  relief,  and  his  presence  welcome.  After 
the  papers  had  been  read,  cards  assisted  in  killing  time. 
Each  evening  we  indulged  in  games  of  poker  (in  which 
the  stakes  ran  up  to  several  thousands  of  dollars,  repre- 
sented by  matches),  until  compelled,  for  comfort's  sake, 
to  extinguish  the  gnat-attracting  lamp.  Then,  till  the 
cool  of  morning,  the  sound  of  muttered  oaths  and  spas- 
modic, ineffectual  slaps  would  be  wafted  on  the  suffo- 
cating night  air,  as  we  battled  with  the  bloodthirsty,- 
voracious  gnats  that  made  night  sleepless. 

Very  often,  while  having  a  game  of  cards  in  the 
Custom  House,  we  would  hear  the  gentle  song  of  the 
Winchester  bullet  as  it  came  in  at  one  window  a-nd 
went  out  the  other,  some  gentleman  of  humorous  turn 
having  fired  at  the  lamp  chimney  for  the  purpose  of 
"joshing"  Drink  water  and  myself.  Quite  often  the 
report  of  the  rifle  was  followed  by  the  sound  of  shat- 
tering glass  and  a  stygiaii  darkness  in  the  room.  This, 
when  an  expert  was  at  the  other  end  of  the  rifle. 
Using  the  lamp  for  a  target  became  so  common  that 
we  found  it  dangerous  to  have  a  light,  unless  we 
moved  the  table  into  one  of  the  corners  where  the 
bullet  would  have  to  pierce  a  brick  wall  before  it  could 
do  any  damage.  Sometimes,  when  a  particularly  act- 
ive game  of  cards  was  progressing  in  the  saloon  below, 
a  dispute  would  arise  as  to  the  ownership  of  the  ' '  pot. 
Should  the  excitement  become  intense,  bullets  would 
presently  come  meandering  up  through  the  Custom 


28  CALABAZAS. 

House  floor,  very  much  to  the  disturbance  of  our 
peace  of  mind. 

The  bloods  of  the  town  would,  toward  morning, 
when  business  was  slack,  make  social  calls  at  each 
others  saloons.  Parties  of  these  would  drift  into  our 
saloon,  and,  occasionally,  to  show  their  good  fellowship 
or  high  esteem,  they  would  hail  and  desire  me  to  come 
down  and  join  them.  Should  the  hail  not  be  immedi- 
ately answered,  a  few  bullets  would  be  jocularly  sent 
crashing  through  the  upper  floor  to  expedite  matters. 
Matters  would  invariably  be  expedited.  With  a 
series  of  appalling  yells  hurtling  from  my  throat,  I 
would  hasten  to  the  saloon,  half  dressed,  pale  and 
trembling,  to  be  pulled  to  the  bar  by  their  friendly 
hands,  while  they  cracked  jokes  concerning  the  mail- 
ing of  an  invitation  from  a  revolver,  and  of  how  much 
quicker  than  the  telegraph  it  brought  an  answer, 
with  much  more  badinage  to  the  same  effect.  That 
they  were  informed  by  Drinky  as  to  the  corner  in 
which  my  bed  was  made,  and  fired  into  opposite  cor- 
ners, accounts  for  my  having  sustained  no  injuries 
other  than  to  my  nerves.  These  hospitalities  could 
not  be  avoided.  To  sleep  on  the  ground  or  from 
under  cover,  insured  catching  the  prevalent  ague,  and 
a  tent  would  have  afforded  no  more  privacy,  nor  as 
much  protection  from  vagrant  bullets.  The  Cala- 
bazans  dearly  loved  the  sound  of  pistol  shots,  and 
when  not  firing  volleys  into  each  other,  were  filling 
the  air  with  random  bullets. 

One  night  I  returned  from  a  trip,  wet  to  the  skin, 
and  chilled  to  the  bone  in  consequence  of  having  been 
caught  in  one  of  Arizona's  sudden  and  frightful  thun- 


CALABAZAS.  29 

derstorms.  Having  changed  my  clothes,  eaten  sup- 
per, and  lighted  my  pipe,  I  was  just  passing  into  that 
state  of  blissful  repose  known  to  the  smoker  only, 
when  Drinky  dropped  in  to  tell  me  that  himself  and 
friends  were  going  to  the  L,ine  for  Mescal,  and  would 
expect  me  to  remain  up  until  their  return,  as  they 
then  intended  "to  make  Rome  howl."  Not  having 
the  remotest  desire  to  make  either  Rome  or  Calabazas 
howl,  to  lose  my  needed  rest,  or  to  be  shot  while 
asleep,  my  brain  was  cudjelled  to  devise  some  means 
of  escape.  Finally  I  remembered  a  pile  of  bricks  that 
lay  in  a  corner  of  the  corral.  I  carried  a  number  of 
these  into  the  Custom  House,  and  borrowing  from 
the  storekeeper  two  sheets  of  iron,  placed  them  in 
Drinky 's  corner  behind  the  door.  Upon  the  iron  two 
courses  of  bricks  were  closely  laid,  and  on  this 
foundation  I  made  up  my  bed,  rolled  up  in  my  blank- 
ets ,  and  went  to  sleep  with  a  feeling  of  security.  I 
was  presently  awakened  by  hearing  my  name  shouted 
out,  coupled  with  threats  to  shoot  if  I  did  not  come 
down  instantly.  The  calls  receiving  no  answer,  sev- 
eral shots  were  fired,  and  the  bullets  tearing  through 
the  floor  brought  up  with  a  "  ping"  against  the  iron 
under  my  bed.  They  were  firing  into  Drinky 's  corner, 
thinking  me  to  be  sleeping  in  my  own,  a  contingency 
not  thought  of  when  changing  my  sleeping  place. 
Knowirfg  that  the  shots  from  below  could  not  injure 
me,  I  turned  my  face  to  the  wall  and  kept  perfectly 
quiet.  My  quietness  had  its  effect,  for  there  was  no 
more  shooting,  but  I  heard  Drinky  say,  "  Boys,  he  is 
up  stairs,  let's  go  and  smoke  him  out."  And  then, 
accompanied  by  a  gambler  and  a  most  distinguished 


30  CALABAZAS. 

' '  gun-fighter, ' '  he  ascended  the  stairs  carrying  a  can- 
dle. Seeing  my  own  corner  unoccupied,  they  were 
about  to  leave  wrhen  Drinky  spied  my  bed  in  his 
corner.  He  was  palsied  with  fear,  and  could  barely 
stammer  out,  "  Why,  he's  made  his  bed  in  my 
corner.'*  Three  more  quickly  sobered  men  were 
never  seen  than  these  jokers  now  were.  They  came 
to  the  pallet  where  I  laid  perfectly  motionless,  the 
gambler  saying,  "My  God,  we've  killed  him  in  his 
sleep."  There  was  regret  expressed  in  his  tones, 
and,  I  am  glad  to  say,  a  tinge  of  anxiety  also.  The 
joke  was  a  rather  serious  one  this  time. 

Those  who  had  remained  below  now  came  to  see 
what  was'  the  matter.  They  were  met  on  the  landing 
with  the  exclamation,  "  We've  killed  him  and  had 
better  skip  over  the  lyine  !"  An  adjournment  was 
made  to  the  saloon  below,  and  further  efforts  toward 
making  ' '  Rome  howl ' '  abandoned  for  the  time 
being. 

They  gave  me  credit  for  many  more  good  qualities 
than  I  was  aware  of  having.  My  generosity,  activity, 
bravery,  whiteness,  and  general  saintliness  of  charac- 
ter, as  dilated  upon,  was  a  revelation  to  me,  and  I 
shuddered  to  think  how  nearly  they  had  come  to  kill- 
ing such  an  exceptionally  good  man.  They  deplored 
their  luck,  and  devised  schemes  for  escaping  punish- 
ment for  my  supposed  death.  Drinky  thought  it  best 
to  skip  over  the  lyine  and  lose  themselves  in  Mexico. 
The  others  thought  it  better  for  Drinky,  as  coroner, 
to  hold  an  inquest  over  my  remains,  bring  in  a  verdict 
of  accidental  death,  and  thus  squash  further  proceed- 
ings. The  gun-fighter  would  stand  ready  to  kill  any  one 


CALABAZAS.  3! 

who  intimated  it  wasn't  an  accident.  Drinky  strongly 
protested  against  being  made  judicially  prominent, 
and  insisted  on  skipping  to  the  country  of  untaxed 
whisky. 

After  quite  a  talk,  the  saloon  keeper  said  that  I 
might  be  wounded  only,  and  not  beyond  help. 
Another  of  the  party  deemed  it  extremely  foolish  to 
bother  about  saving  my  life,  and  then  probably  have 
trouble  over  the  shooting.  If  allowed  to  die,  by  all 
telling  one  story,  things  would  be  made  straight,  and 
they  could  bury  me  decently.  He  would  pay  his 
share  of  the  expenses. 

The  gambler  and  gun-fighter  decided  upon  making 
sure  of  my  condition,  and  with  Drinky  again  ascended 
to  the  room,  their  candle'  casting  a  funereal  light 
around.  I  still  laid  perfectly  quiet,  with  my  face  to 
the  wall. 

The  gambler  approached  the  bed,  placed  his  hand 
upon  my  chest,  and  remarked  that  he  thought  my 
heart  still  beat.  I  did  not  breathe  until  almost  suffo- 
cated, and  then,  being  obliged  to  fill  my  lungs,  drew  a 
breath  so  deep  and  long  that  a  sigh  accompanied  it. 
The  gambler  yelled  excitedly,  ' '  He 'snot  dead !  Come 
here,  quick  !  "  The  others  sprang* to  his  side  and  tore 
the  blankets  from  my  body. 

Seeing  that  it  was  no  longer  possible  to  deceive 
them,  I  sat  up,  rubbed  my  eyes,  yawned  as  if  just 
awakened,  and  asked: 

' '  What  is  the  matter  ?  What  the  devil  did  you  wake 
me  up  for  ?  " 

They  were  dumbfounded,  and  for  some  moments 


32  CAXABAZAS. 

looked  at  me  in  imbecile  astonishment.  Drinky ,  when 
he  recovered  speech,  asked : 

"Say,  are  you  hurt?" 

' '  No !     What  the  thunder  would  hurt  me  ?  " 

"Didn't  you  hear  any  shots? " 

' '  Shots  ?     No !     What  shots  ? ' ' 

"Oh,  nothing.  We  thought  we  heard  you  holler  as 
if  something  had  happened  to  you. 

They  passed  their  hands  over  my  person,  and  asked 
me  to  walk  a  few  steps.  The  blankets  were  examined 
and  no  bullet  holes  found.  Their  faces  wore  a  puzzled 
expression.  Four  or  five  shots  had  been  fired  into  the 
corner  from  powerful  weapons,  and  yet  I  was  un- 
wounded,  nor  was  there  a  mark  on  my  bed  clothing. 
Either  they  had  dangerously  poor  weapons  or  I  had  a 
charmed  life.  Nothing  more  was  said  concerning  the 
shooting,  they  evidently  believing  my  assertion  of  not 
having  heard  the  shots.  As  I  stood  before  them 
swinging  my  arms,  twisting  my  body,  and  kicking 
out  my  legs  to  show  that  no  vital  injuries  had  been 
feloniously,  and  with  malice  aforethought,  made  away 
with  by  me, they  looked  as  if  expecting  to  see  me  drop 
dead  at  any  moment.  After  satisfying  themselves 
that  I  was  unhurt,  they  shook  hands  with  me  impres- 
sively and  assured  me  that  if  I  ever  needed  friends 

they  would  be  on  hand,  for  I  was  a ,  and  several 

other  varieties  of  a  good  fellow.  They  wished  me 
pleasant  dreams,  shook  hands  again,  and  took  their 
leave. 

Drinky  had  lingered  to  tell  me  of  a  secret  deposit  of 
Mescal  from  which  to  refresh  m3rself.  In  turning  to 
follow  his  cronies,  he  stumbled  over  the  corner  of  my 


33  GALA  BAZAS. 

bed,  and  displaced  a  brick.  He  looked  at  me  in 
pained  surprise,  and  asked,  "What  the  devil  are 
bricks  doing  up  here?"  at  the  same  time  picking  up 
the  brick  and  calling  to  the  others,  who  hurried  back, 
thinking,  from  the  tone  of  his  voice,  that  I  was 
finally  dead.  As  they  stood  in  the  doorway,  he 
jerked  away  the  mattress  and  exposed  my  safety 
couch.  It  was  some  moments  before  they  realized 
the  trick  I  had  played  upon  them,  and  then,  anathe- 
matizing every  portion  of  my  person,  they  carried  me 
bodily  to  the  saloon,  where  numberless  drinks  were 
indulged  in,  but  not  as  spiritedly  as  usual.  Amongst 
the  entertainers  was  my  unidentified  enemy,  who  had 
thought  it  better  to  let  me  die  and  hold  an  inquest. 
The  lesson  my  friends  had  received  cured  them  of  the 
dangerous  joke  of  shooting  through  the  ceiling;  but 
the  sheet  iron  and  brick  mattress  were  kept  in  use  as  a 
precaution  against  future  stray  shots,  for  pistols  were 
oftimes  used  otherwise  than  to  give  point  to  a  Cala- 
bazan's  joke. 

Along  the  river  bottom  were  hurdy-houses,  an 
institution  that  is  indigenous  to  the  mining,  railroad, 
or  frontier  town,  and  that  merits  a  word  of  description. 
A  large  tent,  supported  by  a  framework  of  scantlings, 
is  the  ball  room ;  around  the  sides  are  benches  for 
onlookers  and  patrons,  two  or  three  hanging  lamps 
dimly  illuminating  the  interior.  At  the  rear  end  is  a 
counter  and  bar  with  shelves,  and  a  mirror  in  a  gilt 
frame.  Upon  this  bar  the  owner  makes  his  most 
enticing  display  of  bottles,  glass  ware,  and  artificial 
flowers.  A  sawed  off  shot  gun  or  a  revolver  occupies 
a  special  shelf  under  the  counter,  within  easy  reach 


34  CALABAZAS. 

of  the  bar- tender,  but  no  one  else.  In  a  corner  of  the 
tent  a  much  travelled,  superannuated  piano  is  placed 
diagonally  ;  and  behind  the  piano  is  a  small  platform 
upon  which  are  chairs  for  the  violin  and  banjo 
players,  whom  the  pianist  accompanies.  In  front  of 
the  piano  is  placed  a  row  of  chairs  for  the  girls. 

The  musicians  wear  a  fatigued  air  as  befits  the 
creme  de  la  creme  of  hurdy  society.  It  is  an  honor  to 
have  them  accept  a  drink  at  your  expense ;  and  a 
friendly  nod  from  one  raises  you  to  the  same  notch  in 
your  fellow's  estimate  as  a  free  pass  to  a  theater 
would  in  older  communities.  At  eight  o'clock  p.  M. 
the  house  fills  writh  roughly-clad,  rude-mannered,  foul- 
mouthed  men.  The  musicians  take  their  places  and 
the  fiddler  calls  out,  "take  your  partners  for  a  dance." 
With  less  bustle  than  in  a  city  ballroom  the  dancers 
are  in  place,  the  floor  manager  ,  generally  the  pro- 
prietor assisted  by  a  six  shooter,  winds  his  way  among 
them  to  see  that  all  is  ready ;  to  eliminate  dead  beats, 
and  customers  whose  dance  and  bar  bills  are  already 
large  enough ;  or  some  fellow  too  attentive,  and  who 
may  wed  one  of  the  girls,  thus  putting  the  hurdy-man 
to  great  expense  in  replacing  her.  A  signal  is  given, 
the  music  strikes  up,  a  rattling  reel,  a  quadrille,  or  a 
well  played  waltz,  and  the  rough  shoes  of  the  dancers 
beat  the  floor  resoundingly. 

At  the  end  of  the  allotted  fifteen  minutes  the  music 
ends  with  a  suddenness  that  stumbles.  Each  man  takes 
his  partner  to  the  bar  for  refreshment.  The  men  are 
handed  any  liquor  they  order.  The  girl's  orders,  vary- 
ing from  champagne  to  beer,  are  filled  from  one  magical 
bottle  containing  innocuous,  whisky  looking,  clarified 


CALABAZAS.  35 

and  sugared  coffee ;    for  the  reason  that  the  women 
must  be  kept  sober.     A  drunken  woman  cannot  dance 
satisfactorily,  and,  as  an  irate  hurdy-man  was  heard 
to  remark,  <(  A  hurdy-girl  with  a  jag,  raises  more  — 
than  a  rattle- weeded  Texas  steer. ' ' 

There  was  a  refreshing  candor  and  freedom  from 
constraint  in  the  intercourse  between  the  Calabazans. 
To  refuse  a  drink  was  a  shocking  insult  to  the  enter- 
tainer, for  the  water  being  bad,  it  was  something  to  be 
avoided  at  all  hazards.  It  was  not  in  good  form  to 
pronounce  the  surname,  if  you  knew  it,  of  one  whom 
you  were  addressing.  Ignorance  of  this  social  custom 
sometimes  brought  new  comers  to  grief.  Many  a  quiet 
keen  eyed  stranger  came  to  the  town;  men  whose  ears 
cocked  sharply  at  the  hearing  of  a  proper  name. 
Therefore,  from  the  highest  stratum  to  the  lowest 
level  of  Calabazas  society,  none  seemed  gifted  with  a 
surname,  It  was  Lizzie,  Mollie,  Sallie,  or  George, 
Pete,  and  Bob.  As  there  might  be  two  or  more 
bearing  these  names,  identity  was  made  sure  by  a 
prefix,  suggestive  of  some  personal  peculiarity,  as 
Handsome  George,  Curly  Pete,  Spud  Micky,  or  Char- 
ley's Jack, — referring  to  some  saloon  utility  man. 
Ladies  having  the  same  names  were  distinguished  one 
from  the  other  by  being  known  as  " Splay-foot  Sal," 
1 '  Jag  Lizzie, "  "  The  Widow, "  or  ' '  Birdie '  '—if  given 
to  singing.  Prefixes  descriptive  of  personal  deformity 
were  common.  "Sheeny,"  indicated  a  prominent 
nasal  organ,  "Conch"  being  substituted  should  the 
nasal  organ  be  in  the  nature  of  a  freak.  "  Limpy 
Bob  "  was  a  cripple,  of  course,  and  "  Lucky"  inferred 


36  CAI.ABAZAS. 

very  fortunate  or  unfortunate  person,  when  attached 
to  a  name. 

Calabazans  used  but  few  words  to  express  a  great 
deal.  Experience  had  taught  them  the  value  of 
taciturnity;  that  the  least  said  was  the  soonest  mended, 
and  the  greater  safety.  Usually  their  remarks  were 
limited  to,  "I  don't  care  if  I  do,  ""make  your  game," 
or  "whisky  sour."  The  slang,  profanity,  and  mix- 
ture of  Mexican  words  and  terms,  made  the  vernacu- 
lar language  almost  a  foreign  tongue. 

Their  favorite  drink  was  Mescal,  a  fiery  liquor  made 
from  a  species  of  agave  or  cactus.  It  can  only  be 
kept  in  glass,  and  is  sweetened  with  salt  before 
swallowing.  Three  successive  drinks  of  Mescal  would 
drive  a  fellow  into  voluntarily  kissing  his  mother-in- 
law,  which  is  a  valuable  pointer  for  that  necessary 
and  much  abused  female. 

Such  was  Calabazas  during  its  short-lived  boom. 
The  whistle  of  the  bullet  was  heard  in  the  land  ;  the 
clattering  music  of  the  faro  and  poker  chips,  as  they 
were  shuffled  through  the  nervous  fingers  of  the 
players,  sounding  from  every  side,  as  if  beans  were 
falling  on  a  tin  roof.  "  Keno  ;"  "  Make  your  game, 
gentleman ; "  ' '  The  black  wins  ; ' '  and  ' '  Drop  that 
pot,  you  -  — ! "  Bang  !  floated  to  the  ear  from  the 
several  tents  after  dark.  Desperate  men,  never  per- 
fectly sober,  carrying  heavy  revolvers  and  keen-edged 
bowie-knives  in  boot  or  breast,  filled  the  tents  and 
streets.  Low-browed  dogs,  keepers  of  low  drinking 
resorts,  with  huge  pistols  fastened  to  their  waists  by 
steel  chains,  slouched  around  their  tent  doors  awaiting 
a  chance  to  rob  some  laborer.  At  every  turn  men 


CALABAZAS.  37 

would  be  met  whose  crimes  could  not  be  atoned  for 
by  a  life  time  of  prison  or  a  half  dozen  halters,  they 
having  been  attracted  to  Calabazas  by  reason  of  its 
location  near  the  Mexican  boundary  line,  to  where 
they  could  readily  escape  from  American  jurisdiction 
in  case  they  were  hunted  for  present  or  past  offences. 
The  average  darkness  of  Calabazas  humanity  was 
illumined  by  the  flash  light  presence  of  some  who 
were  more  eccentric,  criminal,  or  specially  gifted  than 
the  mass ;  of  these  I  will  attempt  to  give  an  account 
in  the  following  chapters. 

Those  visiting  the  site  of  the  former  grandeur  of 
Calabazas,  as  they  ponder  over  its  ' '  kitchen  middens, ' ' 
empty  tins  and  early  history,  need  not  expect  to  find 
much  but  the  name ;  for,  upon  the  completion  of  the 
railroad,  Calabazas  became  a  dangerous  way  station ; 
besides,  a  hurried  trip  to  the  Line  was  a  wearisome 
and  anxious  one  for  those  that  prudential  reasons 
compelled  to  make  it.  From  time  to  time  the  best 
customers  of  the  saloons  and  the  flowers  of  society 
flitted  to  the  Line.  After  the  anti-Chinese  riot,  the 
people  and  tents  moved  to  the  new  town  of  Nogales, 
whence  it  was  but  a  step  from  the  American  sheriff  to 
the  Mexican  safety  over  the  Line.  At  the  exodus,  for 
obvious  reasons,  the  Custom  House  and  corral,  the 
wells,  and  the  hotel  foundations  were  left  behind. 
These  are  all  that  remain  of  the  evanescent  glories  of 
Calabazas,  unless,  indeed,  the  map  still  hangs  on  the 
Custom  House  wall. 


THE    CALABAZAS    KID. 


HIS   ARRIVAL — HIS  SOJOURN — HIS  SUBJUGATION — HIS 
DEPARTURE    FOR   THE   LINE. 

THE  advance  of  the  railroad  construction  gang 
boomed  the  Pastoral  Arcadia  of  Calabazas.  Town 
lots  began  having  more  than  a  fictitious  value,  and 
the  four  or  five  people  that  had  comprised  the  ancient 
population,  felt  more  as  if  they  were  a  portion  of  the 
great  world.  Each  new  saloon  tent  with  its  assorted 
poisons,  array  of  fancy  bottles,  and  stacks  of  poker 
chips,  was  welcomed  as  a  commercial  enterprise  of 
great  merit,  and  the  older  citizens  considered  them- 
selves very  enterprising  indeed,  in  ever  having  found 
Calabazas  at  all. 

Although  there  was  nothing  massive  about  these 
new  structures  in  the  town,  but  their  names  and  their 
owners  unlimited  cheek,  yet  on  account  of  their  being 
placed  regularly  on  each  side  of  supposed  streets,  they 
gave  the  city  something  of  a  metropolitan  aspect,  and 
the  nightly  music  in  the  hurdy-houses  on  the  river 
bottom,  gave  the  weary  and  heavy  laden  notice  that 
the  town  could  furnish  some  of  the  metropolitan  vices 
and  amusements.  As  Calabazas  filled  up  with  rail- 


40  CALA  BAZAS. 

road  men,  miners  from  the  adjacent  mountains,  gam- 
blers, whisky  dealers,  and  desperadoes,  it  became  the 
banner  town  of  Arizona  for  all  manner  of  vileness, 
notwithstanding  that  murder  and  robbery  ran  riot 
throughout  the  Territory.  Of  course,  among  the  new 
comers  were  a  number  of  "  Kids,"  but  not  conspicu- 
ously bad  ones.  They  associated  with  their  fellow 
bad  men  as  if  the  title  carried  no  particular  distinc- 
tion ;  and  until  the  arrival  of  the  subject  of  the  present 
sketch — one  destined  to  much  disturb  the  usual  status 
of  things  in  that  happy  burg — a  Kid  had  no  special 
terrors  for  the  average  Calabazan. 

The  new  arrival  was  a  finely  proportioned  young 
man;  his  every  movement  indicated  strength  and 
agility.  He  was  about  twenty-one  years  of  age,  and 
both  his  features  and  language  gave  evidence  that  he 
had  been  well  born,  and  reared  by  respectable  people. 
The  armory  of  weapons,  and  magazine  of  ammunition 
belted  around  his  waist,  his  befringed  buckskin  suit, 
rattling  spurs,  and  broad-brimmed  sombrero,  as  well 
as  his  actions,  were  a  sufficient  assurance  to  the  ever 
watchful  citizen,  that  he  was  not  a  detective  or  a 
sheriff.  These  suspicious  characters  were  the  only 
visitors  viewed  with  any  serious  disfavor  by  the  cau- 
tious inhabitants.  He  was  dissipated  looking,  of 
course,  and  his  talk  was  replete  with  oaths  and  slang. 
He  had  a  fine  horse,  saddle  and  bridle,  which  were  dis- 
posed of  within  an  hour  or  two  after  reaching  town, 
realizing  something  like  one  hundred  dollars  for  the 
outfit.  He  then  filled  himself  with  bug  juice  whisky, 
or  the  tarantula  juice  Mescal,  and  proceeded  to  intro- 
duce himself  to  Calabazas  society  and  have  a  devil  of 


THE  KID.  41 

a  time  generally.  A  series  of  appalling  yells  and  ear- 
splitting  whoops  came  from  his  throat ;  he  swore  in 
forty  varieties;  he  was  boss,  and  could  stand  before 
any  man  in  the  town.  He  walked  up  and  down  the 
street,  his  pistol  popping  like  a  Gattling  gun. 

Who  knew  it  to  be  a  fact,  none  could  tell ;  yet  it 
was  soon  asserted  in  whispers  that  this  was  the  dread 
"Texas  Kid,"  or  the  holy  terror  of  terrors.  Death 
laid  in  his  finger  ends,  and  disaster  in  his  wink.  His 
deeds  of  daring,  in  fighting  his  way  to  freedom 
through  cohorts  of  the  minions  of  the  law,  put  the 
deeds  before  Troy  to  shame.  Sheriffs  and  constables 
had  been  his  victims  by  scores ;  his  pistol  grip  was 
unwieldy  from  notches  in  commemoration  of  his  dead, 
and  his  shooting  simultaneously  from  a  pistol  in  each 
hand,  was  a  miracle  of  skill  and  deadly  destruction.  It 
would  be  better  to  eat  sand  for  a  month  than  to  trucu- 
lently cross  the  orbit  of  this  flaming  meteor  of  a  Kid. 
He  was  "The  Texas  Kid  !  "  the  only  !  the  original ! 
He  was  chief,  and  annihilation  awaited  the  Calabazas 
champion  that  aspired  to  equality  or  superiority  in  all 
that  went  to  constitute  a  ruffian. 

These  rumors  were  started  as  soon  as  this  Kid 
began  to  made  a  local  record.  No  one  vouched  for 
their  truth  or  could  give  any  authority,  but  they  were 
supinely  accepted  as  being  true.  By  nightfall  of  the 
first  day,  the  Kid  was  the  acknowledged  chief  of  the 
hardest  town  in  Arizona,  and,  without  leaving  that 
trail  of  blood  that  usually  leads  to  the  honors  that 
crown  the  chieftain. 

The  Kid  made  few  or  no  intimates.  Cowardly 
admirers  were  always  ready  to  treat  him  at  the  bars  or 


42  CALABAZAS. 

gambling  tables,  and  if  he  spoke  familiarly  with  one 
of  them,  they  were  ready  to  kill  some  one — not  a  Kid 
— and  thus  make  themselves  still  more  worthy  of  the 
chiefs  notice  and  approval. 

Occasionally  a  dressy  looking  stranger  alighting  from 
the  stage  to  stretch  his  legs,  would  be  compelled  to 
dance  an  exhaustive  jig,  while  the  Kid  fired  his 
revolver  balls  at  the  feet  of  the  dancer  to  furnish  the 
incentive.  "The  Moke,"  our  only  colored  resident, 
abandoned  us  because  the  Kid  had  so  little  regard 
for  the  fifteenth  amendment  as  to  make  him  stand 
upon  his  head,  and,  with  his  feet  in  the  air,  dance 
several  difficult  jigs,  breakdowns  and  quicksteps  to 
the  music  of  that  humorous  gentleman's  revolvers, 
fired  rapidly,  and  in  the  direction  of  the  colored 
brothers  quickly  moving  feet.  The  prettiest  hurdy- 
girls  would  leave  their  escorts  a-t  his  request.  The 
dancing  floor  was  never  too  crowded  to  make  room  for 
him.  At  the  gambling  table  he  did  not  wait  for 
chance  to  favor  him,  but  replenished  his  pile  of  chips 
from  his  neighbor's;  if  the  robbed  demurred,  a  look 
from  the  knightly  Kid  was  a  quieting  potion,  and  a 
receipt  in  full.  Whisky,  wines,  and  cigars  were  at 
his  command,  to  be  paid  for  at  his  leisure,  or  not  paid 
for  at  all,  Should  he  desire  to  give  some  saloon  keeper 
a  hint  that  relations  were  strained,  a  horse  was  taken 
from  the  corral  and  ridden  into  the  saloon,  the  hanging 
lamps  would  be  used  as  targets  at  which  to  fire  his 
devastating  pistol,  or  the  saloon  keeper  would  be  made 
to  treat  the  horse  and  rider,  while  with  fitful  gaze  he 
calculated  the  size  of  that  gentleman's  revolver  barrels. 

He  apparently  had  a  charmed  life,  and  his  daring 


THE  KID.  43 

and  coolness  were  beyond  belief.  Many  were  the 
threats  of  his  victims,  intended  to  be  carried  out  at 
the  first  opportunity  for  assassinating  him.  He  took 
particular  pains  to  show  himself  to  be  a  dead  shot 
from  either  hand.  He  seemed  never  to  close  his  eyes 
in  sleep,  and  so  cat-like  were  his  movements  that  none 
were  able  to  get  the  much-desired  ''drop"  on  him. 

After  one  week  the  town  had  become  so  used  to 
being  bluffed  by  the  Kid  that  it  was  accepted  •  as 
one  of  the  natural  conditions  of  Calabazas  life.  That  he 
should  step  uninvited  to  the  bar  and  be  counted  in, 
was  to  be  expected  at  any  social  treat  of  friends  and 
strangers.  Men  of  his  own  class  spoke  admiringly  of 
his  nervy  eye  and  of  his  quickness  with  the  gun. 
There  was  no  doubt  in  Calabazas  of  * '  The  Kid ' ' 
being  chief,  king,  emperor,  or  anything  else  he  chose 
to  consider  himself ;  and,  like  other  chiefs,  kings, 
or  emperors,  he  worked  his  title  for  all  it  was  worth. 
A  more  tyrannical,  over-bearing,  and  conceited  chief, 
king,  or  emperor,  never  existed. 

Crandall,  the  Land  Company's  agent  at  Calabazas, 
was  a  good-natured  but  dissipated  man,  and  a  pleas- 
ant and  entertaining  fellow;  drink  did  not  entirely 
obliterate  these  qualities  in  him.  Everyone  liked  him, 
for  he  gave  no  intentional  offence,  and  his  unfailing 
good  nature,  drunk  or  sober,  forbade  him  taking 
offence,  even  at  the  most  offensive  jokes;  he  saved  no 
money — which  is  a  virtue  in  such  a  town — and  being 
the  agent  of  the  Company  that  claimed  the  Earth,  was 
an  important  citizen. 

Now  while  Crandall  gave  no  offence,  he  was  always 
in  a  fever  of  apprehensive  dread  that  one  of  the  "bad 


44  CAI^ABAZAS. 

men  "  would  take  a  shot  at  him  for  an  imaginary  cause, 
and  in  consequence,  nearly  his  whole  time  was  taken 
up  in  making  peace  with  the  "bad  men  "  of  the  town. 
The  Kid  had  terrors  for  him,  drunk  or  sober,  that  were 
never  allayed ;  a  casual  look  from  the  "  chief"  was 
enough  to  place  him  between  the  devil  and  deep  sea  of 
doubt,  to  cause  him  to  fill  himself  with  whisky  and 
retire  to  the  Custom  House  room,  where  he  would,  in 
maudlin  tones,  bemoan  the  evil  fate  that  had  brought 
that  sanguinary  arsenal  of  a  Kid  to  Calabazas.  It 
must  not  be  inferred  that  Crandall  was  an  arrant 
coward;  in  more  lawful  communities  it  is  probable  he 
would  have  defended  himself  manfully.  Here  he  was 
panic-stricken  and  demoralized  at  the  utter  disregard 
for  human  life,  and  his  constant  drinking  had  a  ten- 
dency to  unnerve  him.  The  Kid  bluffed  more  men 
than  Crandall,  and  many  of  them  had  a  record  for 
being  as  dangerousty  bad  as  the  Kid  claimed  for  him- 
self or  rumor  gave  him. 

Crandall  carried  a  pistol.  A  pistol  was  a  part  of  every 
man's  and  many  women's  costume  in  Calabazas.  A 
man  did  not  feel  fully  dressed  if  the  grind  of  a  revolver 
was  not  felt  on  his  hip  or  thigh  at  each  step.  Why 
most  of  them  carried  weapons,  no  man  knew,  for  the 
majority  were  ready  to  throw  their  "gun  "  away  and 
run  like  deer  at  the  slightest  danger,  or  hand  it, 
without  demur,  to  the  first  gun-fighter  that  demanded 
them.  But  being  the  frontier  fashion,  Crandall,  of 
course,  had  to  carry  one ;  it  at  least  impressed  the 
11  Tenderfeet,"  and  insured,  from  them,  a  measure  of 
respect  and  awe.  His  pistol  was  an  old,  rusty,  muzzle 
loading  Colt's,  and  it  is  doubtlul  if  it  had  been  loaded 


THK   KID.  45 

for  years ;  yet  this  old  pistol,  and  Crandall,  and  a  hasty 
action,  were  to  give  the  town  a  lesson  on  the  folly  of 
accepting  a  stranger  on  the  strength  of  rumor,  or  at 
his  own  appraisement. 

It  was  the  afternoon  of  a  July  day,  one  of  those  dry, 
hot,  debilitating  days,  known  only  to  the  sun-baked 
valleys  of  the  extreme  Western  States  and  Territories. 
It  was  so  suffocatingly  hot  that  the  least  exertion  was 
wearisome.  The  corpulent,  ubiquitous  Calabazas  fly 
was  too  enervated  to  buzz,  or  too  dispirited  to  let  go 
of  the  ceiling  or  fall  into  the  butter;  and  coatless 
men  lounged  lethargically  in  the  shadow  of  their 
tents,  in  vain  attempt  to  keep  cool. 

Crandall  was  sitting  at  a  table  in  the  Palace  Hotel, 
the  one  nearest  the  door,  with  his  side  toward  the 
entrance,  and  facing  one  of  the  tent  sides.  Opposite 
him  sat  a  stranger,  one  who  had  arrived  that  day,  and 
spread  upon  the  table  was  a  map  of  Calabazas.  The 
stranger  was  an  intending  settler,  and  Crandall  was 
setting  forth  to  him  the  future  greatness  of  the  town, 
praising  its  social  advantages,  and,  in  fact,  telling  all 
the  standard  lies  of  a  real  estate  agent  who  is  hungry 
for  a  commission.  The  stranger  was  a  respectable 
looking  man,  and,  though  he  had  been  but  a  half  day 
in  Calabazas,  his  restless  eye  and  nervous  starts  be- 
trayed the  fact  that  he  had  seen  enough  of  the  un- 
affected free  and  easy  manners  of  the  town,  to  wish 
that  his  early  education  in  frontier  customs  had  not 
been  neglected.  Crandall  was  so  deeply  engaged  in 
impressing  the  stranger  with  the  advantages  of  the 
town,  that  he  did  not  notice  the  Kid  enter  the  tent  to 
partake  of  his  midday  meal,  something  he  never  missed 


46  CALABAZAS. 

or  paid  for.  The  Kid  seated  himself  with  his  back  to 
Crandall,  and  summoned  Cum  Sing  by  banging  the 
table  with  a  salt  cellar.  When  that  worthy  appeared, 
the  following  extraordinary  order  was  viciously  given 
by  the  chief: — 

1 '  Bring  me  some  great  moral  standby  and  Arizona 
turkey." 

Cum  Sing,  taken  aback  by  an  order  for  such  unheard 
of  delicacies,  replied  graciously  :— 

"Me  no  sabee,  gleat  molly  stanby.  Me  no  sabee 
Alizona  tulke,  hab  got  bled,  hab  got  sullup,  hab 
got-  -."* 

He  did  not  finish  his  list  of  luxuries,  for  the  Kid 
arose  and  fired  two  shots  at  Cum  Sing's  feet,  saying, 

* '  I  want  beans  and  pork ,  you  pork  and  beans;  you 

sabee  now?" 

Ah  Kid !  Kid !  those  two  were  the  last  cartridges 
in  your  pistols.  Their  reports  sounded  the  death 
knell  of  your  reign.  Like  greater  men,  your  sense  of 
security  proved  your  destruction. 

At  the  first  shot,  Cum  Sing,  saturated  with  fright, 

gave  a  blood-curdling  shout  of  ' '  Wha  fo? Je  Cli ! 

wha  fo  you  shoot  me?"  jumped  six, feet  perpen- 
dicularly, and,  as  his  feet  touched  the  floor,  shot  from 
the  dining  room  as  an  arrow  from  the  bow,  yelling  at 
the  top  of  his  falsetto  voice  to  his  brethren  in  the 
kitchen.  As  the  terrified  Chinaman  left  the  room,  his 
cue  uncoiled,  and  stood  out  stiff  and  straight  behind 
him.  The  second  shot  accentuated  his  speed,  and 

*  The  Chinese  with  difficulty  pronounce  '*r"  or  "v";  for  these  letters 
they  substitute  "  1 "  and  ' '  w." 


THE    KID.  47 

cleared  the  kitchen  of  Hi  Sing  and  Lo  Sing  in  short 
order. 

Up  to  the  time  of  firing  the  shots,  Crandall  had 
been  oblivious  to  all  but  the  stranger  and  the  map. 
At  hearing  the  shots,  the  stranger  turned  pale,  lost  all 
interest  in  Calabazas  real  estate,  and  hastily  arose  to 
go.  Crandall,  rendered  desperate  by  the  idea  of 
losing  his  whilom  customer,  and  the  commission  that 
would  have  supplied  him  with  the  satisfying  Mescal 
for  many  days,  jumped  from  his  seat,  pulled  the 
rusty  old  pistol  from  his  pocket,  and,  turning  rapidly, 
slapped  the  Kid  upon  the  back  with  a  resounding 
whack,  at  the  same  time  inquiring,  "What  in  the 
h — 1  is  the  shooting  about?"  Crandall  was  so  exas- 
perated at  seeing  the  stranger  hurriedly  disappear, 
that  he  did  not  stop  to  consider,  and  had  not  the  least 
idea  of  whom  he  was  talking  to.  The  blow  had  been 
unintentionally  hard,  and  was  given  for  the  purpose  of 
attracting  attention  to  his  question,  therefore  it  may 
be  imagined  what  his  feelings  were,  when  he  in- 
stantly realized  that  he  had  familiarly  slapped  the  back 
of  the  unconquerable  Kid,  and  had  so  cavalierly  asked 
that  monarch  for  information.  He  wasriv  etedto  the 
spot  and  frigid  with  fear ;  he  expected  no  less  than  in- 
stant death. 

Upon  receiving  the  slap  the  Kid  turned  and  saw 
Crandall,  pistol  in  hand,  lips  firmly  set,  and  staring  at 
him  with  dilated  eyes.  In  a  moment  the  Kid's  figure 
was  as  rigid,  and  his  stare  as  intent  as  was  Crandall' s. 
For  a  few  seconds  they  eyed  each  other  steadily.  The 
silence  was  so  oppressive  that  it  sagged  in  the  roof  of 
the  tent  and  bulged  out  its  sides.  Suddenly,  and 


48  CALABAZAS. 

without  a  word  of  warning,  the  heroic  Kid  threw  his 

pistol  to  the  floor,  fell  to  his  knees,  and,  in  a  whining 
voice  begged  Crandall  to  spare  his  life,  for  he  had 
been  simply  "joshing  Cum  Sing,  and  intended  no 
harm." 

It  was  with  mingled  emotions  of  terror  and  surprise 
that  Crandall  saw  the  Kid  kneeling  at  his  feet  implor- 
ing mercy.  His  head  actually  ached  with  the  excess 
of  his  astonishment  and  doubt.  Was  he  actually  and 
really  Crandall,  or  had  all  but  Crandall' s  form  been 
replaced  by  the  spirit  of  Agamemnon?  Was  this 
kneeling  figure  the  Kid  or  the  Astral  body  of  that 
truculent  chieftain?  If  actually  the  Kid,  was  not  his 
present  humble  demeanor  intended  as  a  sarcasm? 
Was  he  not  playing  with  him,  as  a  cat  does  with  a 
mouse,  before  he  wreaked  a  final  and  deadly  ven- 
geance? It  might  be  so!  and  Crandall 's  grip  upon 
his  old  pistol  tightened.  But  no !  the  stricken  look 
and  humble  attitude  of  the  vanquished  Kid  was  too 
plain  to  be  misunderstood. 

Crandall  grasped  the  situation  with  a  presence  of 
mind  that  few  in  that  town  would  have  displayed. 
The  pallor  left  his  face,  and  the  blood  returned  with 
such  force  and  volume  that  it  soon  became  more  rubi- 
cund than  usual.  How  his  heart  swelled  with  the 
pride  of  victory !  How  mighty  thoughts  of  his  deter- 
mined attack  on  this  terrible  Kid  surged  through  his 
mind ;  he  had  intended  doing  this  very  thing,  of  course 
he  had,  no  one  could  harbor  a  doubt  about  it.  Kyeing 
the  Kid  sternly,  meanwhile  keeping  his  old  pistol 
aimed  point  blank  at  that  humble  person's  head,  he 
ordered  him  to  ' '  hold  up  your  bands  and  hold  them 


THE   KID.  49 

high"  Without  delay  the  Kid's  hands  went  up  so 
high  that  his  arms  appeared  a  foot  longer  than  normal. 
With  an  unforgiveable  want  of  logic,  Crandall  next 
ordered  him  to  hand  over  his  weapons.  The  Kid  had 
hardly  made  the  first  movement  toward  lowering  his 
hands  to  comply,  when  Crandall  excitedly  yelled  at 
him  to  hold  up  his  hands  and  keep  them  up  unless  he 
wished  instant  death. 

Calling  Cum  Sing,  he  ordered  him  to  tie  the  Kid's 
hands  behind  him  and  to  hobble  his  feet.  This  com- 
mand was  obeyed  with  great  cheerfulness.  That  re- 
organized heathen  next  proceeded  to  dismantle  this 
wreck  of  a  Kid,  and  closely  examined  each  weapon 
before  delivering  into  Crandall's  hands.  After  dis- 
arming the  captive,  Cum  Sing  gazed  at  him  with 
great  scorn  and  severity  and  said,  "You  go  h — 1,  3^ou 
no  good.  Wha  fo  you  foolee  me,  spose  you  likee 
shoot ;  wha  fo  you  no  shoot  Mis'  Clandal ;  him  welly 
good  man  ;  -  — .  Me  no  flaid  you.  You  eatee 

my  g'lub  plenty  ;  you  no  pay  one  —  —  cent.  You  allee 
time  shoot  box,  shoot  can,  shoot  air.  Me  no  flaid 
you.  Je  Cli !  you  foolee  me  one  more  time,  me 
b'leak  yo  head.  Wha  fo  you  no  pay  me  fo  g'lub? 
You  go  lound,  you  dance  huldy -girl,  you  no  pay; 
all  lite!  You  go  s'loon,  you  catchee  d'link;  you 
catchee  cigah,  you  no  pay;  all  lite!  You  go  was- 
house  an  get  cloze,  you  no  pay;  you  shoot  no  an  sea 'a 
ebbybody;  all  lite!  You  come  my  house,  you  shoot 
flo ;  Hi  Sing  him  lun  way ;  Lo  Sing,  him  lun  way ; 
him  man  go  buy  lot,  him  lun  way;  you  laise  h — 1 
allee  time;  all  lite,  I  sabee!  Me  an  Mis'  Clandal  no 
flaid  you.  Je  Cli !  wha  fo  you  tink  me  flaid  ?  Wha 


50  CALABAZAS. 

h — 1  you  come  my  house  fo?  You  no  likee  bean,  you 
no  likee  fla-jack,  you  no  likee  licee,  you  no  likee 
sullup,  you  no  likee  anyting.  You  likee  molly  stan- 
by,  you  likee  Alizona  tulke  —  — .  Me  no  sabee 

molly  stanby,  me  no  sabee  Alizona  tulke.  Mis' 
Clandal  he  no  sabee  too.  Je  Cli!  you  foolee  me  an 
Mis'  Clandal  one  more  time  an — an — an — ."  At  this 
point  the  memory  of  past  indignities  so  overcame  Cum 
Sing,  and  he  had  absorbed  so  much  of  Crandall's 
valor  that  he  danced  a  war  jig  around  the  unhappy 
prisoner,  and,  uncoiling  his  cue,  belabored  him  heartily 
with  the  end  thereof,  until  Crandall  ordered  him  to 
desist,  and  lead  the  Kid  to  a  chair. 

Cum  Sing  led  the  prisoner  to  a  chair ;  his  captor, 
after  first  putting  his  pistol  in  his  pocket,  seated  him- 
self opposite,  and  slowly  running  his  glance  up  and 
down  the  Kid's  figure,  asked,  "What  in  h — 1  do  you 
mean  by  cutting  up  in  this  way  ? ' '  This  question  was 
entirely  supererogatory  when  it  is  remembered  that 
the  Kid  had  been  doing  equally  as  bad  or  worse  daily 
since  he  had  bestowed  his  unwelcome  presence  on 
Calabazas.  What  could  the  Kid  say  in  answer  ?  Were 
not  his  knife,  his  pistols  and  his  ammunition  belt  now 
the  trophies  of  his  captor's  prowess?  Was  he  any 
longer  king,  emperor,  or  chief?  Had  he  not  met  his 
Waterloo?  Not  getting  an  answer,  Crandall  leaned 
over  the  table,  and,  taking  the  Kid's  ornamented  hat 
from  his  head,  contemptuously  twirled  it  into  the  kitchen 
with  the  remark,  "You  -  -  scrub,  take  off  your  hat 
when  you  talk  to  me. ' ' 

He  now  applied  a  string  of  the  most  opprobious 
epithets  to  the  Kid,  and  wound  up  the  list  by  asking, 


THE   KID.  51 

while  lie  slapped  his  cheeks  with  his  open  hand  be- 
tween each  word : 

"Say!  (slap)  what  in  (slap)  h — -1  (slap,  slap,)  are 
you  monkeying  (slap)  around  here  (slap)  so  for  ? " 
(slap.) 

How  much  oftener  Crandall  would  have  asked  the 
same  question  it  would  be  hard  to  say,  had  not  the 
crowd  made  its  presence  felt.  The  news  of  the  cap- 
ture of  the  Kid,  '•  after  a  deadly  conflict,"  had  spread 
like  wildfire  over  the  town.  The  tent  and  the  street  in 
front  of  it  were  crowded  with  citizens.  Every  hurdy- 
man,  rustler,  gambler  or  saloon-keeper  that  the  Kid 
had  bluffed  was  on  hand,  with  tempers  certainly  not 
of  the  sweetest  when  they  learned  that,  single  handed 
and  without  conflict,  Crandall  had  captured  the  mighty 
and  invincible  Kid.  Crandall,  whom  any  one  could 
bluff;  who  always  had  important  engagements  else- 
where in  troublous  times;  who  had  the  most  aged 
pistol  in  the  town,  and  not  a  notch  on  its  hilt ;  a  pistol 
that  he  had  never  fired  so  much  as  at  a  mark.  Some 
were  inclined  to  give  him  credit,  and,  as  he  sat  oppo- 
site his  captive  drinking  in  their  admiration,  how 
sweet  to  his  ears  were  such  remarks  as,  "  I'm  -  —if 
Crandall  aint  got  nerve."  "Crandall  is  a  daisy  when 
he  starts  in."  Didn't  think  it  was  in  Crandall  by 

— . ' '     And  many  others  of  like  tenor. 

In  the  crowd  were  several  of  the  hurdy-ladies  who 
had  been  the  recipients  of  the  Kid's  enforced  atten- 
tions. They  cast  scornful  glances  at  him  who  had  so 
lately  basked  in  their  smiles.  One  lady,  more  forward 
than  the  others,  whipped  out  a  pair  of  scissors  and 
clipped  off  a  handful  of  his  luxuriant  locks,  exclaiming 


52  CALABAZAS. 

that  she  wanted  a  (<  bunch  for  keeps."  Of  course  the 
other  ladies  must  follow  such  a  valorous  example. 
They  were  all  "just  dying  for  a  memento,"  and  to 
prevent  such  a  fatality,  the  scissors  were  busily  en- 
gaged until  his  once  abundant  hair  had  disappeared. 
The  gentle  barbers  followed  no  uniform  style,  and  in 
consequence,  his  very  lumpy  and  ill-shaped  head  was 
soon  covered  by  stunted  bunches  of  hair  tying  in 
irregular  windrows. 

There  was  nearly  as  much  feeling  against  Crandall 
for  having  captured  the  Kid  as  there  was  against  that 
uncrowned  king  for  having  so  long  bluffed  the  town, 
and  then  surrendering  to  the  least  dangerous  man  in 
it;  in  short,  when  these  desperadoes,  some  of  whom, 
safety  assured,  would  not  hesitate  to  commit  the  most 
atrocious  crime,  saw  the  ridiculous  light  in  which  the 
capture  of  the  terrible  Kid  by  the  good-natured  Cran- 
dall placed  them ;  when  they  knew  that  they  had 
been  cowed,  and  made  to  eat  leeks  by  a  bluffer  with- 
out the  shadow  of  a  record,  their  cowardly  anger  knew 
no  bounds,  and  it  was  only  by  the  exertions  of  the 
better  class  of  sports,  and  the  taunts  of  the  more  sym- 
pathetic hurdy-girls,  that  they  were  prevented  from 
taking  immediate  and  dastardly  revenge  on  the  help- 
less, trembling  culprit,  by  filling  his  body  with  bullets. 
Crandall's  demeanor  at  this  juncture  was  ridiculously 
sensible.  Seeing  that  the  crowd  was  in  a  dangerous 
humor,  he  arbitrarily  ordered  the  Kid  * '  to  shut  his 
-  mouth  ; ' '  not  that  the  Kid  was  saying  anything, 
far  from  it.  He  then  addressed  the  crowd,  stating  that 
the  Kid  was  his  capture,  and  the  spoils  of  his  in- 
dividual courage;  that  through  the  Kid's  actions  in 


THE   KID.  53 

the  Palace  Hotel,  he  had  lost  a  good  cash  commission, 
consequently  he  claimed  the  full  charge  and  disposal 
of  the  prisoner.  (Crandall's  customer  meanwhile  was 
rapidly  footing  his  way  to  Tubac,  from  which  place  he 
took  the  first  stage,  and  forever  shook  Arizona's  dust 
from  his  feet.)  Frontier  mobs  are  thoughtless,  and 
easily  swayed  from  anger  to  mirth.  Crandall's  looks 
and  actions,  more  than  his  words,  created  laughter  in 
the  crowd.  The  more  influential  citizens  said  that 
Crandall  was  right,  whereupon  the  crowd  slowly  dis- 
persed, and  the  prisoner  was  led  by  his  captor  to  the 
corral  to  be  safely  tied  in  a  stall. 

As  the  evening  shades  came  on,  groups  of  people 
gathered  in  the  different  saloon  tents  to  discuss  the 
Kid's  downfall  and  career  in  Calabazas.  Of  course, 
many  who  desired  to  put  a  new  polish  on  their  dimmed 
records,  claimed  they  knew  from  the  first  that  this  was 
not  the  "Texas  Kid,"  and  that  he  was  a  "rotten 
fake ; ' '  but  they  had  laid  low  to  see  how  he  would 
run  the  town,  and  at  the  proper  time  had  intended  "to 
do  him  up  in  great  shape,"  etc.  The  more  manly  ac- 
knowledged that  the  Kid  had  ' '  played  them  for  suck- 
ers;"  ' '  had  made —  —fools  of  them,  and  had  worked 
Calabazas  for  a  Jay  town,  which  it  was."  Calabazans 
were  much  like  the  rest  of  the  world ;  nothing  bad 
enough  can  be  said  of  an  unsuccessful  person,  and  a 
detected  rogue  is  always  the  worst  possible  rogue. 

After  the  first  flush  of  anger  was  over,  by  some 
strange  impulse— an  impulse  that  often  takes  the  place 
of  reason  with  these  people — the  past  deeds  of  the  Kid 
were  looked  upon  more  as  in  the  nature  of  a  good 
joke  on  the  town  than  as  deserving  of  anger  or  ill  will. 


54  CALABAZAS. 

They  appreciated  the  humor  of  his  having  bluffed  the 
town,  and  then  permitting  Crandall  to  capture  him  so 
easily.  The  hurdy-girls  and  better  class  of  sports 
said  that  it  would  be  shameful  cowardice  to  take  re- 
venge on  a  green  boy,  just  because  they  had  been 
afraid  of  him ;  that  for  two  weeks  he  had  had  his 
own  way,  and,  being  an  expert  pistol  shot,  could  have 
done  much  damage  if  so  inclined. 

That  night  the  leading  sports  gathered  in  the  Golden 
Fleece,  and  formulated  a  plan  for  punishing  the  Kid, 
and  at  the  same  time  amuse  themselves  at  his  expense 
as  he  had  done  at  theirs.  It  is  hardly  necessary  to 
say  that  Crandall  was  not  at  all  consulted.  That  fear- 
less and  vigilant  man,  during  the  silent  watches  of  the 
night,  had  convinced  himself  that  he  had  captured  a 
notorious  criminal,  and  he  revelled  in  thoughts  of  the 
large  rewards  he  would  reap  thereby.  The  lost  com- 
mission was  dismissed  as  unworthy  of  longer  thought. 
He  would  take  the  Kid  to  Tucson,  deliver  him  to  the 
authorities,  collect  the  rewards,  and  return  to  Nogales 
to  buy  into  the  Mescal  distillery,  and  there  reside  ever- 
more. As  for  the  Kid,  he  passed  a  sleepless  night, 
and  utterly  refused  the  food  which  Crandall  did  not 
neglect  to  bring  him. 

Next  morning,  after  breakfast,  Handsome  George 
and  Curly  Pete  called  at  the  Custom  House,  where 
they  found  Crandall  sitting  in  the  official  arm  chair, 
his  hat  on  the  back  of  his  head,  his  heels  on  the  table, 
and  his  head  filled  with  the  magnitude  of  his  own 
merit  and  importance.  In  a  most  anxious  tone  of 
voice  they  asked  Crandall, 

"  Where  is  the  Kid!" 


THE    KID.  55 

"  He's  in  the  corral ;   I  just  left  him." 

' '  No  he  aint. ' ' 

Crandall  was  on  his  feet  in  an  instant. 

"He  aint?" 

"No,  he's  gone!  He  took  a  pistol  and  rifle  from 
Frank  down  stairs,  and  said  that  he  was  going  to  play 
even  before  he  left  town. ' ' 

"Wh-a-t!"  exclaimed  Crandall. 

"That's  what  he  said,"  said  George. 

"Wh-a-t!"  again  exclaimed  Crandall,  while  his 
face  assumed  a  deathlike  hue. 

"The  Kid's  on  a  hunt,  that's  what,"  said  Pete. 

Crandall  jammed  his  hat  over  his  eyes,  and  rushed 
past  the  two  men,  saying, 

"Great  God!  let  me  out  of  this!  don't  stop  me!" 
and  fairly  flew  down  the  Custom  House  steps. 

In  front  of  the  house  stood  Drinky's  horse  ready  for 
mounting.  Drinky  had  just  stepped  into  the  saloon 
for  a  stirrup  cup,  before  starting  on  an  exhausting 
trip  to  the  distillery  at  the  I^ine.  In  a  moment  Cran- 
dall had  vaulted  into  the  saddle,  and  so  vigorously  did 
he  ply  lash  and  heels,  that  he  disappeared  over  the 
little  ridge  at  the  head  of  the  valley  before  Drinky 
could  offer  any  protest. 

Now  the  Kid  was  still  confined  safe  and  fast  in  the 
corral,  and  Crandall  had  barely  gotten  out  of  sight 
before  a  committee  entered  the  corral  and  brought  the 
prisoner  out.  He  was  a  most  pitiable  sight,  haggard, 
pale  and  tearful;  the  remnant  of  his  once  abundant 
hair  was  scraggly  and  tangled  with  straw  ;  his  hands 
were  swollen  from  the  tightness  of  his  hay  rope  man- 
acles ;  his  feet  were  numb  from  the  impeded  circula- 


56  CALABAZAS. 

tion,  and  his  once  fiery  eyes  were  shifty  with  fear.  As 
he  faced  the  cold,  unmerciful  mob  from  whom  he  ex- 
pected nothing  but  hanging,  he  could  not  control  his 
voice  enough  to  plead  for  himself.  His  appearance  so 
worked  upon  the  sympathies  of  the  more  tender 
hearted  hurdy-girls,  that,  though  they  had  lived  in 
constant  fear  ot  him  during  his  reign,  they  now  made 
strong  appeals  to  the  mob  not  to  be  hard  upon  him. 
If  the  girls  had  not  known  that  no  injury  was  in- 
tended, no  doubt  they  would  have  faced  the  mob  in 
his  defence.  Women  in  frontier  towns  have  done  such 
things  before,  and  when  their  sympathies  are  aroused 
they  are  very  tigers  in  courage  and  forgetfulness  of 
danger. 

The  Kid  was  given  a  large  drink  of  whisky;  the 
bindings  of  his  feet  and  wrists  were  loosened,  and  he 
was  asked  to  give  an  account  of  himself.  He  spoke 
almost  in  a  whisper,  and  stated  that  he  had  come  from 
Indiana,  had  been  well  raised,  but  a  dime  novel  reader ; 
he  desired  to  live  a  frontier  desperado's  manner  of  life, 
and  his  mother  being  a  widow  and  pretty  well  off,  he 
had  taken  enough  money  from  her  to  come  West.  At 
Denver,  Colorado,  he  had  purchased  a  cow-boy's  out- 
fit. His  first  stopping  place  had  been  Tombstone,  but 
the  amiable  differences  existing  there  between  several 
cliques  of  bad  men — in  which  the  undertaker  had  the 
last  say — made  the  town  honored  by  their  residence 
rather  undesirable  as  a  place  in  which  to  safely  begin 
a  record,  so  he  had  hied  himself  to  Calabazas,  where 
he  was  gratified  and  astonished  to  be  mistaken  for  the 
"Texas  Kid,"  a  gentleman  who  seemed  to  be  much 
dreaded,  and  had  accepted  the  name  because  it  was 


THE  KID.  57 

both  appropriate  to  his  longings,  and  had  a  ready 
made  record  attached.  His  success  in  posing  as  a  bad 
man  had  been  so  phenomenal  that,  for  fear  luck  would 
turn,  he  had  determined  to  leave  Calabazas,  and  nurse 
his  reputation  in  some  less  dangerous  town ;  and,  in 
fact,  had  it  not  been  for  his  unfortunate  downfall  in 
the  Palace  Hotel  (a  downfall  the  more  regretted,  no 
doubt,  because  Crandall  was  the  downfaller),  he  would 
have  departed  on  the  next  stage.  He  said  he  had 
never  injured  any  one,  and  that  if  they  would  spare 
him,  he  would  return  to  Indiana  and  stay  there  the 
remainder  of  his  life. 

When  the  Kid  had  finished  his  story,  he  was  given 
another  drink  to  brace  him  up,  and  was  told  by  the 
spokesman  of  the  committee  that  they  had  decided  to 
give  him  a  chance  for  his  life  ;  that  he  would  be  taken 
to  the  outskirts  of  the  town  and  be  given  one  hundred 
feet  start  on  the  road  to  Nogales ;  when  he  reached 
that  mark,  all  hands  would  take  a  shot  at  him. 
Should  he  not  be  killed,  he  could  keep  right  on  ;  if 
wounded,  he  wonld  be  cared  for  and  turned  loose  on 
recovery ;  but  if  he  should  escape  and  again  come  to 
an  Arizona  camp,  any  of  them  meeting  him  would 
kill  him  on  sight.  Needs  must  where  the  devil  drives, 
and  the  Kid  had  to  reconcile  himself  to  the  situation. 
The  terror  stricken  fellow  cast  such  pitiful,  appealing 
glances  at  the  lawless  crowd  surrounding  him,  that 
even  their  hardened  hearts  would  have  been  softened 
if  injury  had  been  intended  ;  but  it  was  fully  under- 
stood that  the  shots  were  to  be  fired  into  the  air ;  the 
boy's  mental  suffering  was  to  be  the  sole  punishment 
for  his  two  weeks  of  fraudulent  chieftainship. 


58  CALABAZAS. 

After  an  hour  to  recover  strength  and  courage  from 
the  restorative  whiskeys  administered,  the  Kid  was 
brought  to  the  starting  point  and  made  ready  for  his 
run.  A  Cotton  wood  tree  one  hundred  feet  distant  was 
selected  as  the  point  to  be  reached  before  firing  began. 
At  the  word  "Go,"  the  Kid  was  off  like  a  flash;  just 
as  he  reached  the  tree  a  volley  was  fired,  and  his  body 
was  seen  stretched  upon  the  ground.  There  was  a 
general  rush  made  to  where  he  lay,  and  some  of  the 
crowd  raised  his  head  from  the  ground.  His  deathly 
pale  face  and  staring  eyes  indicated  that  he  had  met 
his  death  at  their  hands;  and,  with  few  exceptions, 
the  breasts  of  the  mob  were  filled  with  regret  at  the 
result  of  their  fun.  It  was  presumed  that  some  cow- 
ardly scoundrel  in  the  crowd  had  left  a  loaded  cartridge 
in  his  weapon,  and  fired  to  kill,  knowing  the  impossi- 
bility of  fixing  the  guilt  upon  any  certain  person.  If 
this  had  been  the  case,  the  culprit,  if  detected,  would 
have  been  strung  upon  a  tree,  or  have  been  riddled 
with  bullets. 

As  they  stood  around  the  body  scanning  each  other's 
faces,  in  an  endeavor  to  detect  the  guilty  person,  a 
moan  was  heard  from  the  Kid,  and  a  twitching  of  his 
eyes  noticed  ;  he  had  only  fainted  from  fright  and  ex- 
haustion. He  was  quickly  placed  with  his  back 
against  the  tree,  and  freely-administered  whisky  soon 
brought  the  color  to  his  cheeks.  As  he  revived,  and 
was  seen  to  be  unhurt,  so  did  the  better  feelings  leave 
the  hearts  of  his  persecutors.  He  was  induced  to  eat, 
and  to  drink  a  cup  of  hot  coffee,  topped  off  with  more 
of  that  universal  panacea,  whisky,  and  was  told  that 
he  would  be  given  another  chance  ;  this  time  he  would 


THE    KID.  59 

have  two  hundred  feet  start.  Three  men  were  ap- 
pointed to  examine  all  pistols  and  extract  bullets,  the 
three  to  stand  with  loaded  weapons,  and  shoot  the 
first  man  that  fired  before  the  word.  The  Kid,  how- 
ever, had  no  knowledge  of  this ;  but  his  former  escape, 
the  bite  of  food,  the  hot  coffee  and. numerous  whiskies, 
gave  him  renewed  courage  when  he  was  again  sta- 
tioned for  a  start. 

At  the  word  "Go,"  he  went  like  the  bullet  from  a 
rifle,  and,  as  he  passed  the  mark,  every  gun  was  fired, 
accompanied  by  a  yell  from  the  shooters.  The  Kid 
had  been  so  strengthened  by  his  slight  meal  and  the 
improved  programme,  that  he  attained  a  speed  that 
made  it  doubtful  if  a  bullet  could  have  caught  him. 
In  an  inconceivably  short  time  he  had  disappeared  over 
the  ridge,  and  was  out  of  danger ;  but  he  continued 
running  as  if  on  urgent  business — Calabazas  business, 
so  to  say.  His  splendid  physique  stood  him  in  good 
stead ;  for  Pete-the-rancher  said  that  when  he  passed 
his  place,  he  was  running  so  fast  that  there  was  a 
draught  on  each  side  of  the  trail  for  two  weeks  after- 
ward. But  then  every  one  knew  old  Pete's  failing. 

Crandall,  when  he  so  hurriedly  departed,  had  ridden 
to  the  Mexican  Custom  House  at  the  Line,  where  he 
intended  to  remain  until  assured  of  the  Kid's  perma- 
nent departure  from  Calabazas.  Just  at  dusk  he  was 
sitting  at  a  large  table  in  the  officer's  waiting  room, 
deeply  engaged  in  a  game  of  solitaire,  and  near  him 
stood  a  bottle  of  Mescal,  from  which  he  drew  inspira- 
tion from  time  to  time.  Suddenly  a  shadow  flitted 
across  the  table ;  Crandall  looked  up  and  saw  — The 
Kid.  The  Kid  at  the  same  moment  recognized  Crau- 


60  CALABAZAS. 

dall.  Both  were  equally  frightened,  and  both  equally 
at  loss  in  the  emergency.  Simultaneously  each  sought 
safety  under  the  table.  As  they  met,  each  was  con- 
vinced that  the  other  was  determined  on  deadly 
revenge.  lacking  each  other  in  close  embrace,  they 
lustily  bellowed  in  unison,  "Don't  shoot !  I  give  up  ! 
I  haven't  any  gun  !  I  am  your  friend!"  The  aston- 
ished Mexican  officers  attempted  to  separate  them  by 
grabbing  their  legs.  Simultaneously  releasing  each 
other,  and  backing  from  under  the  table,  they  straight- 
ened up,  gazed  fixedly  at  one  another,  and  together 
slowly  left  the  Custom  House,  thoughtfully  walked  to 
the  adjacent  distillery,  where  each  drank  two  glasses  of 
Mescal,  and  separated  without  having  once  exchanged 
a  word.  Crandall  saddled  his  horse  and  started  for 
Calabazas.  The  Kid  returned  to  the  Nogales'  Custom 
House,  and  enlightened  the  puzzled  Mexican  officers 
as  to  this  last  exhibition  of  Gringo  (American)  eccen- 
tricity. 

Crandall  grieved  very  much  over  the  rewards  that 
he  was  convinced  he  had  lost  by  the  Kid's  escape. 
He  was  not  long  permitted  to  retain  the  evidences  of 
his  valor ;  the  pistols,  the  knife,  and  the  belt  were 
taken  by  different  parties — with  a  record —  to  satisfy 
claims  made  by  them,  that  the  Kid  had  received  cer- 
tain loans  (forced)  of  poker  and  faro  chips  to  the  full 
value  of  his  assets ;  all  that  was  left  to  Crandall  was 
the  glory.  He  ever  claimed  that  his  lightning  trip  to 
the  Line  was  in  pursuit  of  the  Kid,  and  comforted 
himself  in  a  great  measure  by  cornering  unsophisticated 
Easterners  who  might  tarry  at  Calabazas,  telling  them 
of  his  valor  and  heroism  in  capturing  the  "Terror" 


THE   KID.  6l 

that  had  run  the  town,  never  failing  to  mention  the 
vast  imaginary  rewards  that  he  had  lost  by  that  gen- 
tleman's departure  for  the  Line.  After  the  Kid's  ex- 
perience, no  stranger  became  a  chief  in  Calabazas 
unless  his  record  was  proven  by  deeds,  instead  of 
rumors.  The  very  name,  "  Texas  Kid,"  was  a  stench 
in  Calabazan  nostrils,  and  that  dime  novel  youth  was 
ever  after  spoken  of  as  the  '  *  Calabazas  Kid. ' ' 

There  must  be  many  who  will  recollect  the  extra- 
ordinary manner  in  which  this  green  Eastern  boy 
dominated  the  town — the  hardest  in  Arizona — for  two 
weeks.  Let  us  hope  the  lesson  was  not  lost  on  the 
Kid,  that  he  returned  to  his  widowed  mother,  and 
lost  all  desire  to  emulate  the  mythical  Cow-boy  of 
dime  novel  celebrity. 


THE  CA^ABAZAS  PREACHER. 

HIS    ARRIVAL — HIS   SERMON — HIS   BACKSLIDING — HIS 
DEPARTURE  FOR  THE  LINE. 

HE  came  into  Calabazas  Saturday  morning,  riding 
a  small  clay-bank  mule.  It  was  not  past  seven  o'clock, 
still,  at  this  early  hour  the  fervid  rays  of  Arizona's 
sun  was  beating  down  with  an  intensity  that  would 
have  caused  an  epidemic  of  sunstroke  in  the  Eastern 
cities ;  but  the  dry  air  of  Arizona  enabled  one  to  with- 
stand the  baking  heat,  and  to  go  about  one's  daily 
affairs  without  danger,  simply  discomfort. 

The  mule  ambled  along  at  a  slouchy  gait,  half  walk, 
half  trot,  his  tail  nervously  twitching  at  each  step. 
His  ears  were  extraordinarily  long,  and  would  have 
been  so  for  the  very  largest  of  his  kind.  One  of  the 
ears  was  pointed  forward,  and  the  other  flapped  lazily 
against  his  head  with  the  movements  of  his  body ; 
his  eyes  half  closed  and  sleepy,  would  lead  one  to  be- 
lieve him  a  harmless,  well-disposed  animal,  until 
closer  scrutiny  developed  that  very  much  subdued 
deviltry  lurked  under  the  sleepy  looking,  deceptive 
eyelids.  The  rider's  legs  were  as  much  too  long  for 
the  ordinary  man,  as  his  mule's  ears  were  too  long 


THE  PREACHER.  63 

for  the  average  mule.  Consequently  the  shortened 
stirrups  brought  his  knees  about  to  a  level  with  the 
saddle  seat,  or  a  little  higher.  His  eyes  were  half 
closed,  and  squinting  under  the  brim  of  his  hat,  as  if 
he  was  in  deep  thought,  or  wished  to  protect  them 
from  the  direct  glare  of  the  sun.  There  was  some- 
thing about  his  thin  lips  and  half-closed  eyes  that 
fastened  one's  attention ;  something  undefinable 
and  unfixable,  but  that  once  seen,  kept  a  person 
thinking  of  their  owner. 

The  traveler  was  dressed  in  brown  linen  trousers, 
had  no  vest  on,  and  wore  a  long  linen  duster,  which 
being  permitted  to  fly  open,  displayed  a  checked  calico 
shirt.  His  whole  apparel  showed  the  effects  of  con- 
stant and  careless  usage,  or  that  it  and  the  washtub 
had  but  small  acquaintance.  At  the  back  of  his  old 
McClellan  saddle  was  tied  a  small,  black  valise,  much 
the  worse  for  wear,  and  of  the  cheapest  kind.  He 
appeared  to  be  about  forty-five  years  of  age,  his  face 
thin,  pale  and  freckled,  wore  a  look  of  the  greatest 
solemnity.  A  mass  of  fiery  red  hair  topped  the  face, 
and  a  faded  black  cavalry  hat,  with  limp,  flapping 
brim,  topped  the  hair.  A  scraggly  red  beard,  grown 
in  the  style  popularly  known  as  "  Gal  way  chokers, " 
protected  his  throat.  There  was  a  singular  resemb- 
lance between  the  man  and  the  clay-bank  mule,  and 
this  extremely  hot  morning  was  evidently  a  source  of 
discomfort  to  both. 

As  the  man  entered  the  town,  quite  an  amount  of 
interest  was  excited.  He  did  not  have  the  look  or 
dress  of  a  trader,  prospector,  rancher,  gambler, 
saloon-keeper,  cattle-man,  rustler,  or  detective.  The 


64  CALABAZAS. 

occupations  of  all  in  that  country  were  comprised  in 
the  above,  and  the  question  arose  as  to  "Who  the 
devil  was  he  ?  Where  the  devil  did  he  come  from  ? 
What  the  devil's  business  brought  him  to  Calabazas? 
or,  Where  the  devil  was  he  going  ?  "  Of  course  such 
questions  were  not  put  to  the  stranger,  but  were  in 
the  nature  of  inquiries  amongst  the  loungers,  and  were 
far  more  forcibly  expressed  than  has  been  written; 
for  the  Calabazans  were  a  profane  and  suspicious 
people,  always  keeping  an  eye  open  for  possible  law 
officers  in  disguise. 

The  traveler,  upon  reaching  the  store,  dismounted, 
fastened  his  mule  by  throwing  the  reins  to  the  ground — 
the  usual  method  in  cattle  countries — and  entered  the 
building.  After  casting  a  rapid  look  around,  he 
turned  to  the  store-keeper  and  asked  concerning  ac- 
commodations for  himself  and  animal  in  the  town. 
He  was  given  proper  directions,  thanked  his  informant, 
and  led  his  mule  to  the  Custom  House  corral.  After 
seeing  that  faithful  animal  attended  to,  he  hied  him- 
self to  the  Palace  Hotel,  and  at  that  Epicurian  retreat 
almost  created  a  panic,  by  reason  of  the  ferocity,  mag- 
nitude, and  indiscriminateness  of  his  appetite.  After 
the  morning  meal  was  over,  Cum  Sing  gave  vent  to 
most  doleful  forebodings,  saying  to  Hi  Sing  and  Lo 
Sing,  "Je  Cli !  him  man  eat  one  mo'  bleakfast  allee 
same  dis  morning  him  bleak  me  all  up. ' ' 

Having  attended  to  the  wants  of  his  inner  man,  to 
the  imminent  danger  of  bankrupting  Cum  Sing,  our 
traveler  returned  to  the  store,  where  several  of  the 
more  prominent  citizens  had  gathered  under  various 
excuses,  but  principally  to  discuss  this  enigma  of  a 


THE    PREACHFR.  65 

new  comer.  Their  curiosity  was  soon  to  be  satisfied, 
for  the  traveler  entered  the  store,  bade  them  all  "Good 
morning,"  and  introducing  himself  as  the  Reverend 
Abimilech  Jones,  said  that  he  was  a  minister  of  the 
gospel,  and  had  visited  Calabazas  with  the  intention 
of  holding  religious  services  the  following  day,  pro- 
vided he  could  find  a  tent  wherein  to  hold  them. 

The  Rev.  Jones  asked  concerning  the  religious  bent 
of  the  tribe  of  Calabazas,  and  incidentally  mentioned 
the  fact  that  he  was  an  itinerant  preacher,  bound  to 
no  particular  creed,  but  was  constantly  on  the  move, 
holding  services  and  erecting  church  edifices  by  sub- 
scription in  God-forsaken  towns.  His  hearers  hast- 
ened to  relieve  the  Reverend  gentleman's  anxiety  by 
assuring  him  that  plenty  of  tents  were  to  be  had,  of 
sufficient  capacity  to  contain  any  congregation  that 
he  was  likely  to  bring  together  in  Calabazas,  and 
that  he  might  "bet  his  life  "  that,  in  coming  to  Cala- 
bazas, he  had  struck  the  most  God-forsaken  town  in 
all  Arizona,  not  excepting  Tubac.  The  Rev.  Jones 
piously  thanked  all,  with  many  quotations  from  Scrip- 
ture, to  the  effect  that  God  blessed  well  directed 
and  well  meant  efforts,  and  said  that  he  had  no  fears 
about  being  able  to  gather  a  fair  congregation,  "  for 
the  devil  was  not  always  as  black  as  he  was  painted," 
and  very  much  more  to  the  same  effect.  There  was 
something  about  the  man,  as  ordinary  as  he  looked, 
that  impressed  a  hearer  that  he  was  no  fool,  and  in 
all  likelihood  he  would  be  quite  successful  in  anything 
he  undertook. 

The  store-keeper  had  introduced  him  to  several  of 
the  more  high-toned  gamblers,  saloon  and  hurdy- 


66  CALABAZAS. 

house  keepers  present.  After  a  few  minutes'  talk 
with  them  on  general  topics,  in  which  he  seemed 
remarkably  well  posted,  he  said  that  he  would  now 
look  around  for  a  tent  in  which  to  hold  his  meeting. 
Very  much  to  every  one's  surprise,  three  or  four  of 
the  leading  citizens  volunteered  to  assist  him  in  select- 
ing a  tent.  After  viewing  several  vacant  tents,  all  of 
which  were  declared  to  be  too  small,  they  at  last 
pitched  upon  one  which  he  said  would  be  suitable  in 
every  way;  the  same  had  formerly  been  used  as  a 
gambling  tent  and  saloon,  but  the  owner  having 
become  tangled  in  some  financial  complications,  the 
property  was  now  under  a  Tucson  attachment  cloud, 
and  in  charge  of  Constable  Davis.  The  tent  was  a 
large  one-room  affair,  and  bore  upon  its  front  the  very 
appropriate  legend,  "  Rest  for  the  Weary."  The  con- 
stable was  fortunately  in  town,  and,  when  called  upon 
by  the  preacher,  consented  to  its  use  for  divine  services 
free  of  charge. 

Having  obtained  the  permission,  the  preacher,  ex- 
cusing himself  by  a  quotation  from  scripture  in  refer- 
ence to  sluggards,  peeled  off  his  duster,  and  went  to 
work  with  a  will,  and  without  assistance ;  he  moved 
the  gambling  tables  to  the  front  of  the  bar ;  emptied 
the  shelves  behind  the  counter  of  all  their  ornamental 
glassware  and  bottles,  which  he  put  under  the  counter 
and  out  of  sight ;  he  then  swept  the  floor,  the  used  up 
cards  being  hardly  the  proper  carpet  for  a  gospel  tent. 

The  tent  cleansed,  the  Rev.  Jones  rustled  around 
town  gathering  spare  benches,  cracker  and  canned 
goods  boxes,  spare  chairs,  or  anything  else  he  could 
utilize  as  a  seat.  He  was  so  constantly  on  the  move 


THE    PREACHfER.  6j 

that  he  appeared  to  be  scattered  all  over  Calabazas  as 
it  were,  and,  until  he  had  gathered  them  into  one 
place,  no  one  would  have  dreamt  that  there  were  as 
many  benches  and  chairs  in  the  town.  The  broiling 
mid-day  heat  did  not  appear  to  affect  him  in  the  least, 
though  streams  of  perspiration  were  pouring  from 
everyone  else.  Though  all  were  seeking  shady  nooks 
in  which  to  cool  off,  the  Rev.  Jones  kept  right  on  at 
work,  and  never  turned  a  hair;  he  did  not  appear  to 
have  a  drop  of  spare  water  in  his  system  to  sweat  with. 
No  one  volunteered  to  assist,  nor  did  he  ask  for 
assistance. 

Most  of  those  who  saw  him  working,  ridiculed  him, 
and  cast  obloquy  upon  his  parents  for  having  begot- 
ten such  a  congenital  idiot,  but  when  the  evening  had 
come,  the  Rev.  Jones'  untiring  activity  had  gained 
him  a  measure  of  respect  and  sympathy  from  these 
scorners,  and  many  of  those  who  had  laughed  loudest 
in  the  morning,  now,  with  binding  oaths,  declared 
their  intention  of  going  to  hear  him  the  next  day, 
for  they  "  would  be  -  -  if  he  should  have  all  this 
work  for  nothing. ' ' 

By  supper  time,  the  tent  being  fully  prepared  for 
the  next  day's  congregation,  the  Reverend  gentleman 
rested  from  his  labors,  and  ate  such  an  abundant 
supper  that  Cum  Sing  was  filled  with  consternation 
and  unutterable  wroe.  Supper  eaten,  our  Reverend 
again  began  his  labors  for  the  morrow.  He  called  at 
the  store  and  Custom  House,  giving  those  whom  he 
found  there  a  hearty  invitation  to  hear  him  the  next 
day.  He  then  visited  the  prominent  saloons  and 
gambling  tents,  and,  watching  for  an  opportune 


68  CALABAZAS. 

moment,  when  the  banker  was  settling  a  keno  game, 
he  jumped  upon  a  table,  and  to  the  amazement  of  the 
proprietors  and  guests,  shouted  at  the  top  of  his  voice, 
•'  Keno!" 

Having  drawn  attention  to  himself,  to  the  suspen- 
sion of  other  business,  the  Reverend  invited  them  to 
church  on  the  morrow,  so  that  when  death  came  they 
could  call  "Keno!  and  rake  in  the  heavenly  pot." 
He  brought  up  suggestions  of  their  childhood,  and 
implored  them  to  save  their  souls,  or  if  they  didn't 
care  for  their  own,  to  come  and  see  the  souls  of  others 
saved,  for  he  declared  he  would  have  many  of  them 
on  the  mourners'  bench  before  the  next  night.  He 
then  jumped  from  the  table  and  quickly  disappeared, 
to  visit  another  tent  and  enact  a  similar  role.  As  he 
retired,  many  audible  remarks  could  be  heard,  such  as, 
"  When  the  h— 1  did  he  get  loose?  "  "Who  is  that 
-jay?  "  "  Great  -  -!  but  he  has  gall !  "  Or  a 
parting  invitation  to  him,  to  "go  and  take  a  sand  bath 
in  the  river  bottom,"  would  be  extended  with  much 
asperity.  Nevertheless,  after  the  shock  of  their  first 
surprise  wore  off,  and  the  incident  had  been  talked 
threadbare,  most  of  those  present  declared  their  in- 
tention of  going  to  hear  him  preach,  "Just  for  a  lark," 
or  because  ' '  he  was  a  bird  for  gall. ' ' 

The  preacher  next  called  at  the  hurdy-houses ; 
entering  one,  he  looked  on  with  solemn  visage  until 
the  dance  was  ended,  the  bar  visited,  and  the  girls 
were  seated.  Then,  before  he  was  suspected  of  such 
a  move,  he  mounted  a  chair  or  bench  and  yelled, 
"Fire!  Fire!"  With  these  words  for  a  text,  he 
warned  them  of  the  hereafter,  and  invited  them  to 


THE   PREACHER.  69 

church.  He  skilfully  flattered  the  girls,  telling  them 
of  their  youthful  looks,  that  indicated  innocent  maiden- 
hood, and  that  the  Almighty  would  make  cherished 
brides  of  them  all,  etc.  After  which  he  departed  as 
quickly  as  he  had  appeared,  his  long  linen  duster 
slapping  funereally  against  his  lathe-like,  rambling  legs, 
leaving  his  auditors  perplexed  as  to  whether  "  H — 1's 
broke  loose,"  as  they  suggested,  or  that  lightning 
would  strike  Calabazas  next.  The  Preacher  was  fol- 
lowed from  each  hurdy-house  by  a  few  choice  spirits- 
men  who  were  always  ready  for  a  joke — who  wished 
to  see  him  "  give  a  game"  at  the  next  house,  and  to 
laugh  at  the  genuine,  paralyzed  surprise  of  Tom,  Dick, 
or  Harry,  at  seeing  their  temples  of  pleasure  used  as 
an  exhorting  place  by  the  * '  Tramp  gospel  sharp. ' ' 

By  the  time  the  Rev.  Jones  had  in  this  unwarrant- 
able manner  invaded  the  last  hurdy-tent,  quite  a  crowd 
followed  him,  all  of  whom  had  derived  so  much  amuse- 
ment from  the  manner  in  which  Tom,  Dick,  or  Harry 
had  accepted  the  intrusions,  that  they  shook  hands 
with  the  Preacher,  and  declared  him  to  be  a  "  dandy," 
and  ''just  their  size,"  and  "that  they  be-  -if 
they  weren't  coming  to  his  show."  The  places  vis- 
ited were  rather  benefited  than  otherwise ;  for  the 
Reverend's  talk  of  death  and  hell-fire  created  a  thirst 
amongst  his  hearers  that  conld  only  be  quenched  by 
numerous  visits  to  the  bar,  much  to  the  profit  and 
conciliation  of  the  hurdy-men,  and  the  restored  equan- 
imity of  their  patrons. 

Our  Preacher  did  not  neglect  the  heathen  Chinese, 
but  extended  them  an  invitation  with  an  earnestness 
that  convinced  them  ' '  He  pleacher  him  clazy . ' '  That 


70  CAI,ABAZAS. 

suspicious  boniface,  Cum  Sing,  before  accepting,  in- 
quired of  the  Rev.  Jones  with  much  seriousness, 
"  When  you  go  away  ?" 

'  *  To-morrow  night,  if  God  is  willing. ' ' 

"All  lite,  me  cum  see.  You  sure  you  go  away 
to-malla?" 

By  midnight  the  Rev.  Jones  had  canvassed  the  town, 
and  retired  to  rest  on  the  hay  stack  in  the  corral,  re- 
marking that  he  valued  the  mule  highly,  and  had  a 
partiality  for  a  hay  bed.  This  was  not  considered  as 
peculiar ;  for  most  strangers  after  meeting  the  people, 
and  learning  of  the  proximity  of  Calabazas  to  the 
Mexican  boundary,  preferred  the  clean  hay — and  the 
certainty  of  finding  their  animal  in  the  morning — to 
the  cat  infested  Palace  Hotel  floor,  or  an  uneasy  night 
on  a  saloon  bench  or  table. 

Now,  most  men  in  the  Preacher's  place  would  have 
considered  that  they  had  exerted  themselves  enough. 
Very  few  of  the  L,ord's  Shepherds  would  have  ac- 
complished in  a  week  a  tithe  of  his  one  day's  work; 
no!  not  to  have  saved  every  precious  or  worthless 
soul  in  Arizona,  much  less  Calabazas ;  but  the  Rev. 
Jones  never  wearied  in  the  good  work.  Sunday  morn- 
ing he  was  up  with  the  sun,  giving  the  finishing 
touches  to  his  tent.  At  breakfast  he  drove  Cum  Sing 
to ,  grief  and  distraction  by  the  celerity  with  which 
vast  quantities  of  bacon,  beans,  mush,  canned  stuff  of 
various  kinds,  slapjacks,  molasses,  coffee,  tea,  etc., 
disappeared  down  his  slender  throat  into  his  bottomless 
stomach. 

After  breakfast  he  was  again  hastening  over  the 
town ;  this  time  to  have  all  of  the  business  tents  closed 


THE    PREACHER.  71 

between  the  hours  of  IOA.M.  and  i  P.M.  His  un- 
limited impudence  and  unquenchable  zeal  had  so  com- 
pletely upset  the  whole  population,  that  he  could  not 
surprise  them  by  anything  he  now  did,  and  though  he 
advanced  his  requests  to  close  in  an  appealing  tone, 
far  from  commanding,  yet  those  appeals  were  received 
almost  as  orders  that  must  be  obeyed.  He  advised 
with  the  store-keeper  that  he  might  as  well  close  and 
come  also.  The  store-keeper  pondered  that  he  wanted 
a  few  hours'  rest,  and  as  Handsome  George  and  Curly 
Pete  were  going,  he  guessed  he  would  close  during 
the  hours  mentioned  and  go  too,  "just  for  fun." 

At  the  Golden  Fleece,  Pantheon,  Coliseum,  and 
other  prominent  places  of  liquid  and  chance  entertain- 
ment, the  owners  were  told  appealingly  that  * '  I  have  no 
objection  to  your  keeping  open  on  Sunday,  but  want 
you  to  close  between  the  stated  hours  to-day. ' '  These 
men  who  would  have  cared  for  the  wants  or  objections 
of  no  one  else,  agreed  to  close  and  come  to  church ; 
and  to  make  sure  that  none  would  remain  open  to 
harvest  shekels  from  the  thirsty  customers  of  the 
closed  places,  the  proprietors  of  the  said  places  accom- 
panied the  Preacher  around  to  the  other  saloons,  and 
by  cajolery,  ridicule,  or  threat,  induced  them  to  close 
also.  As  one  after  another  signed  the  agreement,  it 
became  less  troublesome  to  get  others ;  for  these  people 
disliked  to  have  the  name  of  being  stingy,  contrary  or 
unaccommodating,  among  their  associates. 

So  vigorously  did  the  preacher  work,  that  when  the 
hour  often  o'clock  A.M.  had  come,  a  stranger  enter- 
ing Calabazas,  and  seeing  every  place  closed,  w'ould 
have  thought  that  he  had  found  the  most  God-fearing, 


72  CALABAZAS. 

moral,  and  law-abiding  place  on  earth.  The  town 
was  so  sedate  and  quiet  that  a  random  pistol  shot 
would  have  caused  a  general  faint.  The  Palace  Hotel 
flies  buzzed  with  a  subdued  buzz,  and  flung  themselves 
despairingly  into  the  molasses,  mustard,  butter,  and 
vinegar,  with  the  most  reckless  abandon  and  turpitude. 

Services  were  to  begin  at  n  o'clock.  At  10.30  A.M. 
the  ' '  Rest  for  the  Weary ' '  was  rapidly  filling  up  with 
the  strangest  and  least  religious  congregation  ever  seen 
gathered  in  a  house  of  worship.  Before  n  o'clock 
the  tent  was  jammed;  every  hurdy  or  other  girl, 
gambler,  rustler,  saloon  man,  and  loafer  in  Calabazas 
were  there,  and  all  simply  from  curiosity.  A  more 
serious  gathering  one  was  never  a  member  of ;  not  a 
smile  or  gesture  of  ridicule  was  to  be  seen  in  all  that 
congregation,  composed  of  about  two  hundred  and 
fifty  of  the  most  hardened  characters  that  had  ever 
been  known  to  meet  in  one  tent.  Cum  Sing,  with  a 
horror  of  mob  violence,  stood  near  the  door,  where 
escape  was  easy,  should  this  "  clazy  pleacher" — with 
such  a  suspicious  and  destructive  appetite — give  utter- 
ance to  anti-Chinese  sentiments  likely  to  arouse  ill 
feeling. 

Occasionally  from  the  audience  could  be  heard  in 
subdued,  serious  tones,    "Hello,  Bill!  What  in - 
brings  you  here ?"     "  -    —  you,  Jack  !  don't  push  me 
off  the  box  !  "     ' '  What  in  blazes  are  you   crowding 
for ;  go  buy  a  whole  tent  ?"     ' '  Wonder  when  his  jags 
will  open  his  game  ?  "  or  from  some  impatient  mem- 
ber, ' '  Maybe  his  nibs  is  playing  us  for  suckers ! ' ' 
which  last  was  more  dreaded  in   Calabazas  than  to  be 
spotted  by  a  detective.     Feminine  voices  would   be 


THE  PREACHER.  73 

heard  to  say,  u  Jennie  is  as  full  as  a  goat."  "  God  ! 
what  brings  Dolly  here ?  "  "If  Bob  catches  Birdie 
praying,  he  will  kick  her  ribs  in."  "Ain't  Bonnie 
fixed  up  for  a  mash?  "  or,  "  If  Lize  didn't  wash  her 
face  the  preacher  would  faint. ' '  There  was  no  disre- 
spect or  sacrilege  intended,  they  were  simply  passing 
remarks  in  their  own  way,  as  more  reputable  congre- 
gations are  in  the  habit  of  far  more  sacrilegiously 
doing  in  choicer  language. 

At  precisely  eleven  o'clock  our  preacher  entered 
from  the  rear,  linen  duster  and  all.  He  placed  a 
chair  on  a  faro  table  in  front  of  the  bar,  and  mounted  the 
table.  With  his  appearance  all  talking  and  whispering 
ceased.  He  had  neither  Bible  nor  hymn  book.  Looking 
solemnly  over  his  audience,  he  said,  "We  will  open 
the  service  with  that  beautiful  hymn  entitled,  "  Green- 
land's Icy  Mountains,"  and  I  would  like  to  have  the 
audience  join  in  singing  it," 

The  Rev.  Jones  had  a  most  lovely  tenor  voice,  and, 
as  he  gave  the  pitch  and  started  the  hymn,  there  was 
surprise  and  pleasure  visible  on  every  face.  The  first 
verse  was  sung  by  himself,  after  which  he  again  looked 
over  the  audience  slowly  and  said, ' '  We  will  begin  that 
hymn  over  again,  and  I  wish  all  to  sing."  He  then 
recited  the  first  two  lines  and  sang  them,  a  few  of 
the  voices  of  the  women  joining  in.  This  was  not 
satisfactory,  and  he  insisted  that  the  whole  audience 
should  join  whether  they  could  sing  or  not.  He  again 
recited  the  lines.  This  time  the  hymn  was  sung  with 
great  vim,  as  a  number  had  caught  the  time  and 
joined  in,  as  many  of  them  said  afterwards,  "just  for 


74  CALABAZAS. 

luck,"  and  "  because  his  nibs  was  business  in  q 
minute. ' ' 

Here  were  men  and  women  who  for  years  had  never 
used  but  profane  or  vulgar  words,  now  singing 
hymns  at  the  command  of  this  tramp  preacher,  who 
was  gifted  with  such  wonderful  controlling  power. 
Women  corrupt  in  soul  and  body,  with  brightened 
eyes  and  smiling  faces,  raised  their  shrill  voices  in 
hymnal  praises,  the  more  vigorously  as  the  long-for- 
gotten melody  and  words  rushed  to  their  memories. 
Who  can  tell  what  childish  memories  were  brought  to 
mind  by  this  unwonted  scene  ?  For  the  time  being 
they  were  honestly  sincere,  and  no  doubt  thoughts 
that  they  were  still  within  the  pale  floated  through 
their  minds,  when  they  saw  how  well  they  could  ape 
respectability  this  memorable  Calabazas  Sunday.  Ah ! 
if  the  poor  things  could  have  but  regained  that  re- 
spectability, salvation  would  have  bothered  them  but 
very  little.  It  is  possible  that  the  title  of  the  hymn 
made  it  attractive  such  a  sultry  day,  and  in  such  a 
crowded,  suffocatingly  close  tent.  The  very  words 
were  cooling  to  the  mouth. 

After  the  hymn  was  a  prayer,  well  conceived,  short, 
impersonal  except  as  to  the  Deity,  and  well  delivered. 
None  of  the  audience  knelt,  though  no  doubt  they 
would  have  done  so  had  that  man  of  excellent  judg- 
ment and  wonderful  power  requested  it  of  them. 
After  the  prayer  and  a  moment's  rest  in  the  chair,  the 
preacher  arose  and  begged  their  strict  attention  until 
he  had  finished  his  remarks  and  sermon.  He  re- 
gretted very  much  that  he  Jiad  left  his  small  Bible  at 
Tubac,  but  as  he  knew  the  Bible  by  heart  he  could 


PRKACHER.  75 

select  a  text.  This  he  proved  by  reciting  verses  ex- 
tending from  Genesis  to  Revelation, — and  there  was 
none  to  dispute  their  correctness. 

He  then  gave  out  his  text,  which,  he  said  his  hear- 
ers, if  curious  and  had  such  a  thing  as  a  Bible,  could 
find  in  the  gospel  of  St.  Matthew,  27  chapter,  3d  and 
5th  verses,  as  follows  : — 

"Then  Judas  which  had  betrayed  him,  when  he 
saw  that  he  was  condemned,  repented  himself,  and 
brought  again  the  thirty  pieces  of  silver  to  the  Chief 
Priest  and  elders. 

"And  he  cast  down  the  pieces  of  silver  in  the  tem- 
ple and  departed,  and  went  and  hanged  himself." 

From  this  text  the  Rev.  Jones  preached  one  of  the 
most  extraordinary  sermons  ever  preached  or  listened 
to  by  mortal  man.  No  pen  or  descriptive  power  is 
equal  to  the  task  of  doing  full  justice  to  his  gestures, 
language  and  intonation.  It  can  be  given  but  feebly 
from  notes  taken  during  the  sermon.  He  said:— 

"  My  dear  brethren,  I  have  selected  this  text  as 
peculiarly  applicable  to  the  people  of  Arizona  as  a 
whole  and  to  the  people  of  Calabazas  in  particular.  I 
will  digress  so  far  as  to  say,  I  am  rejoiced  to  see  so 
man y  gentlemen  and  ladies  present ;  the  more  espe- 
cially as  I  was  told  in  the  town  of  Tubac  that  a 
preacher  would  never  live  long  enough  after  reaching 
Calabazas  to  preach  a  sermon.  I  am  also  rejoiced  to 
see  some  in  my  audience  who  were  very  doubtful  of 
my  having  any  listeners  at  all.  I  am  very  glad  to  see 
you  all  so  nicely  dressed  for  this  occasion,  and  I  would 
wish  to  apologise  for  appearing  before  you  in  such  an 
unclerical  garb,  but  I  was  compelled  to  leave  my  trunk 


76  CALABAZAS. 

at  Tubac  to  be  forwarded  by  stage.  I  may  never  see 
it  again. 

Now,  my  dear  brethren,  you  have  all  been  children, 
and  as  children  in  Sunday  schools  you  have  been 
told  of  Judas  and  taught  that  Judas  was  a  vile,  bad 
man,  and  deserving  of  everlasting  infamy.  If  you 
have  heard  his  name  mentioned  from  the  pulpit,  it  has 
ever  been  in  contumelious  and  reproachful  terms  ;  but, 
brethren,  Judas  was  a  scape-goat  for  the  other  eleven 
apostles ;  his  memory  has  been  unjustly  abused  and 
vilified,  and  he  has  my  sympathy,  as  he  should  have 
that  of  every  right  thinking  man.  Now,  what  kind 
of  man  was  this  Judas  ?  I  will  tell  you  : 

First — He  was  a  man  of  good  reputation. 

Second — He  was  a  man  of  abounding  faith,  and 
utterly  devoid  of  suspicion. 

Third — He  was  an  honest  man. 

Fourth — He  was  a  brave  man. 

Altogether  he  was  what  we  would  call  here  a 
"square  man." 

Brethren,  read  the  Bible  from  beginning  to  end,  and 
I  defy  you  to  find  one  word  reflecting  in  any  way  upon 
the  character  of  Judas,  until  after  his  death,  when  four 
apostles  out  of  the  eleven  claimed  that  he  betrayed  the 
Saviour.  Mind  you,  he  was  dead!  Had  hanged 
himself! 

Brethren,  Judas  was  unsuspicious,  and,  like  all  un- 
suspicious people,  probably  did  many  impulsive  things 
that  made  the  others — from  their  own  evil  minds — 
suspect  him  of  evil.  He  had  an  abounding  faith  in 
his  Master,  far  more  than  did  any  of  the  others.  Had 
he  not  seen  him  raise  the  dead,  give  sight  to  the 


THK    PREACHKR.  77 

blind,  feed  the  multitude  on  the  mount,  cure  the 
leper,  and  turn  unhealthy  water  to  cheering  wine  at 
Cana  ?  Had  he  not  heard  him  say  that  he  was  the 
Son  of  God  ?  Had  he  not  heard  him  predict  destruc- 
tion to  the  temple,  and  awful  disasters  to  God's  chosen 
people,  and  these  same  people  persecuting  him  ?  Can 
you  blame  him  for  believing  that  no  harm  could  reach 
his  Master  from  human  hands  ?  Would  you  have  be- 
lieved so  in  his  place  ?  I  say  you  would  not. 

As  to  his  honesty :  He  was  the  one  the  twelve 
selected  for  Treasurer.  Would  this  have  been  the 
case  if  they  had  suspected  his  honesty?  He  was 
treasurer  without  bonds ;  think  of  that !  How  many 
of  those  that  slur  his  memory  to-day  from  the  pulpit 
could  get  such  a  position  without  bonds?  Why, 
brethren,  they  could  not  be  cashiers  in  beer  cellars 
without  giving  bonds. 

Nowhere  in  the  Bible  can  you  find  a  word  reflecting 
on  the  honesty  of  Judas,  not  even  from  the  eleven  sur- 
viving disciples  ;  yet  you  cannot  read  a  paper  of  to-day 
without  reading  of  some  modern  disciple  defaulting 
either  with  the  church  money  or  one  of  the  church 
flock !  They  cannot  safely  throw  stones  at  Judas,  not 
at  all! 

Brethren,  was  Judas  a  coward,  or  was  St.  Matthew 
on«  ?  After  the  arrest  of  their  Master  and  his  condemn- 
ation, when  the  eleven  were  in  hiding  because  they 
lacked  faith  and  courage,  poor  Judas  went  openly  to 
the  temple,  threw  the  money  down,  and  then  went  off 
and  hanged  himself,  at  the  very  time  that  these  saints 
were  in  hiding!  And  St.  Peter,  who  was  the  "Rock," 
and  to  whom  the  Keys  of  Heaven  were  given,  was  at 


78  CAI,ABAZAS. 

that  very  moment  denying  his  Master  in  such  a  das- 
tardly manner,  that  even  the  roosters  couldn't  stand 
it  without  protesting ! 

Now,  brethren,  we  will  suppose  Judas  did  betray 
his  Master,  what  was  his  motive  ?  I  claim  that  his 
faith  was  so  great  that  he  would  not  believe  his  Master 
could  be  injured,  or  that  his  Father  would  not  protect 
him  to  the  confusion  of  his  persecutors.  Judas'  whole 
course  as  laid  out  by  St.  Matthew,  indicates  this ;  prob- 
ably Judas  thought,  as  we  of  to-day  think,  that  to  live 
on  the  enemy  is  the  proper  plan  when  campaigning ! 
no  harm  could  be  done,  and  he  had  the  enemy's  money 
in  the  company's  purse.  Avarice  was  not  the  induce- 
ment; for  it  is  not  claimed  that  Judas  reserved  the 
thirty  pieces  for  himself. 

When  Judas  saw  that  the  Son  could  not  help  him- 
self, and  the  Father  did  not  help  him,  what  did  he  do? 
Did  he  skip  to  another  country  and  live  on  the  fruits 
of  his  treachery  as  is  done  nowadays  ?  No ;  he  gave 
the  money  back,  and  gave  his  life  to  atone  for  his  mis- 
taken faith.  But  brethren,  St.  Matthew  was  in  hiding 
as  were  the  others  all  this  time,  and  had  to  make  up 
some  tale  to  cover  their  cowardice.  Of  course  he  said 
that  one  of  the  company  chopped  the  ear  off  the  High 
Priest's  servant,  but  he  does  not  say  it  was  a  disciple 
that  did  so.  There  were  many  believers  in  the  crowd, 
and  it  may  have  been  one  of  them.  The  apostles 
wrangled  just  as  much  in  their  day  as  Christians  do  in 
our  day ;  and  if  it  was  an  apostle  that  defended  the 
Saviour,  jealousy  has  buried  his  name  in  oblivion. 
But  I  do  not  believe  St.  Matthew ;  I  do  not  believe 
Judas  betrayed  the  Saviour  ?  but  I  do  believe  that  his 


THE   PREACHER.  79 

love  and  faith  were  so  strong,  that  when  he  found  his 
dearly  loved  Master  was  to  die,  he  preferred  to  die 
also,  and  go  to  the  glory  that  he  believed  his  loved 
Master  could  give  him  after  death. 

I  think  the  four  apostles  were  a  poor  lot  to  let  their 
Saviour  die  without  an  effort  to  save  him,  and  then 
blame  poor  Judas  for  it  all — after  he  was  dead ! 

Now,  brethren,  when  we  cast  stones  at  Judas,  we 
should  remember  that  we  are  all  more  or  less  Judases — 
to  take  the  name  in  its  biblical  significance — so  far  as 
betrayals  go.  Have  we  as  many  undoubted  virtues 
to  offset  our  faults  as  he  had  ?  Take  the  thousands  of 
preachers  living  in  luxury  and  idleness,  neither  spin- 
ning nor  weaving,  would  not  they  have  hard  times  if 
there  had  been  no  Judas  ?  Judas  was  their  benefactor, 
and  they  scorn  him.  Kven  you  men  would  not  do 
that. 

These  preachers  sell  their  Master  yearly  for  far  more 
than  thirty  pieces  of  silver;  but  who  ever  heard  of 
their  returning  any  money  ?  They  have  deluged  the 
world  with  blood,  by  the  angry  passions  that  they 
have  stirred  up  against  those  that  do  not  believe  with 
them ;  but  who  ever  knew  one  so  repentant  as  to  go 
and  hang  himself  for  his  deeds  ?  Their  charity  is  a 
charity  that  consists  in  blackguarding  each  other, 
and  begging  dollars  from  the  generous  for  the  poor,  of 
which  dollars  they  spend  ten  cents  on  a  soup  ticket  to 
give  to  a  beggar,  and  ninety  cents  on  a  porterhouse 
steak  for  themselves.  Brethren,  Judas  had  far,  far 
more  charity  than  any  of  them. 

The  men  of  to-day  are  almost  all  Judases  for  betrayal ; 
they  betray  each  other  daily  and  hourly  for  far  less 


80  CAI.ABAZAS. 

and  much  more  than  thirty  pieces  of  silver ;  they  will 
work  for  a  man  until  they  gain  his  confidence,  and 
then  rob  him.  They  will  advise  their  intimate  friends 
to  invest  in  sure  schemes,  and  then  divide  the  boodle 
with  the  schemers.  They  will  shake  your  hand,  eat 
your  food,  and  live  under  your  roof,  to  scandalize  you 
afterwards.  Sons  betray  their  fathers,  and  brethren 
their  brethren ;  but  do  you  ever  hear  of  one  of  them 
continuing  to  emulate  the  example  of  Judas  by  hang- 
ing himself?  Not  much,  you  don't.  My  friends,  as 
bad  as  Judas  was  claimed  to  be,  if  he  lived  to-day,  he 
would  go  and  hang  himself  in  disgust  at  being  com- 
pelled to  associate  with  the  average  man. 

And  the  women !  The  women  are  all  Judases  for 
betrayal.  They  cannot  afford  to  contemn  his  mem- 
ory !  Just  gather  a  few  women  together,  then  have 
another  come  in,  and  hear  them  exclaim,  "Oh!  its 
you !  how  glad  I  am  you  came !  * '  here  they  kiss,  and 
all  set  down  to  tear  some  other  and  absent  woman  to 
tatters.  One  woman  goes  out,  and  we  hear,  "Oh! 
wasn't  you  surprised  that  she  came,  for  she  knows 
we  hate  her  !  for  she  paints, '  'from  one ;  * '  she  steals, ' ' 
from  another;  "she lies;"  "she's  dirty;  "  "  she  is 
unfaithful;"  "she  is  everything  mean."  Another 
one  goes,  and  the  same  rending  process  follows,  until 
only  one  is  left,  and  this  one  talks  to  herself  of  the 
last  one  in  her  company.  As  each  woman  leaves  the 
crowd,  she  visits  another  crowd,  and  tears  to  pieces 
those  she.  has  just  left,  and  so  it  goes  on  until  a 
woman's  friendship — for  a  woman — is  a  byword  and 
reproach ;  but  who  ever  heard  of  one  of  them  hanging 
herself,  as  a  partial  atonement  for  the  misery  and 


THE    PREACHER.  8l 

suffering  caused  her  own  sex  by  her  biting,  scandaliz- 
ing and  uncharitable  tongue.  So  far  as  women  being 
Judases  to  men  are  concerned,  there  is  nothing  to  be 
said  against  them ;  honors  are  easy  between  them  so 
far.  The  men  tell  their  wives  that  they  are  going  to 
the  club.  The  women  tell  their  husbands  they  are 
going  to  sit  up  with  a  sick  friend,  and  both  have  a. 
picnic ;  but  neither  go  and  hang  themselves. 

Brethren,  I  like  Calabazas,  and  all  towns  of  its 
kind.  I  like  the  people.  I  could  raise  more  money 
for  charity  in  this  town  in  thirty  minutes,  than  I  could 
in  a  large  city  in  thirty  days.  You  folks  don't  sneak 
around  in  doing  things ;  yet  you  women  go  to  a  city, 
and  you  would  meet  with  contemptuous  looks  and 
slurs  from  fashionable  ladies  who  are  hugged  by 
dancers  because  they  like  it ;  but  you  women  dance  to 
earn  a  living. 

Let  you  men  visit  a  city,  and  a  sorry  life  you  would 
have  waiting  for  an  invitation  to  a  social  dance ;  but 
if  you  are  willing  to  pay  for  the  same,  3^011  are  called 
low  and  vicious.  They  are  not  as  sincere  or  honest  as 
was  this  Judas  of  old.  Visit  their  fine  churches,  and 
you  will  see,  snugly  resting  in  their  cushioned  seats, 
men  who  spent,  the  preceding  night  in  saloons  or 
gambling  rooms.  They  will  pass  you  by,  because  you 
gamble  with  cards,  yet  those  same  men  will  gamble 
with  stocks  and  in  exchanges,  and  will  lay  awake  all 
night  devising  some  safe  scheme  to  rob  their  fellow 
man.  If  you  boys  do  play  a  * '  sure  thing ' '  game,  you 
at  least  risk  your  lives  in  doing  so. 

Brethren,  dancing,  singing,  and  gambling  or  swear- 
ing are  not  sins  when  done  openly,  and  in  a  proper 


82  CALABAZAS. 

spirit.  In  olden  times,  dancing  before  the  Lord  was 
the  proper  caper.  The  Saviour  made  no  bones  of 
attending  wedding  feasts  and  helping  along  the  fun. 
You  read  your  Bibles  and  you  will  be  astonished  at 
the  amount  of  dancing  that  was  done  before  the  Lord. 
(The  Rev.  Jones  here  quoted  numerous  verses  in 
'support  of  his  assertion.)  As  for  drinking,  well,  no 
man  has  a  right  to  make  a  hog  of  himself  at  it,  but  not 
only  does  the  Bible  approve  of  it  in  moderation,  but 
suggests  that  it  is  good  for  man.  The  Lord  did  not 
consider  the  marriage  feast  complete  till  he  had  con- 
verted the  saddening  water  into  joyful  wine.  (Here 
verses  were  quoted  bearing  upon  drinking  and  wine 
making.) 

Gambling  is  all  right  if  you  don't  play  a  "sure 
thing"  game  on  your  fellow  man.  In  olden  time 
every  doubtful  question  or  bargain  was  settled  by  lot. 
(Here  more  applicable  verses  were  quoted.)  Why 
right  to-day,  you  enter  any  church  fair  and  you  will 
see  the  most  bare-faced  gambling  by  wholesale,  and 
appeals  by  beautiful  women  and  girls  to  the  gambling 
instinct  of  those  who  hesitate;  yet  these  selfsame 
people  are  ever  trying  to  jail  gamblers  and  stop  gamb- 
ling, and  by  their  laws  drive  them  "to  swindling  de- 
vices that  could  not  be  practiced  openly.  Friends, 
your  secret  games  are  always  the  worst  and  most  dan- 
gerous ones. 

Every  gambler  packs  his  Bible  with  him  if  he  reads 
his  cards  correctly.  Many  of  you  have  heard  of  the 
gambler  that  was  converted  and  went  to  church.  The 
priest,  in  going  around,  saw  him  kneeling  with  a  card 


THK    PREACHER.  83 

'  *  lay  out ' '  before  him  and  upbraided  him  for  commit- 
ting such  a  sacrilege. 

"Father,"  says  the  sport,  "they  are  my  Bible." 
Quoth  the  Priest,  "They  are  the  Devil's  Bible." 
Says  the  sport,  ' '  Not  so,  and  I  will  convince  you  of 
it ;  for  instance — 

"  The  '  Ace'  reminds  me  that  there  is  but  one  true 
God. 

"The  '  Deuce'  that  he  made  '  Adam  and  Eve,'  and 
sinless. 

"The  'Trey,'  of  the  'three  prophets'  who  were 
thrown  in  the  '  fiery  furnace,'  and  of  the  *  three  Wise 
Men '  guided  by  the  '  Star  of  Bethlehem. ' 

"The  '  Four,'  of  the  '  four  Evangelists.' 

"The  '  Five,'  of  the  '  five  wise  and  five  foolish  vir- 
gins,' of  the  'five loaves'  that  fed  the  multitude, 
and  the  '  five  plagues  of  Egypt. ' 

"  The  '  Six,'  of  the  days  '  God  labored  '  in  creating 
the  world. 

"  The  '  Seven,'  of  the  day  he  rested  from  his  labors 
and  made  hoi}'',  and  of  '  Pharaoh's  dreams.' 

"  The  '  Eight,'  of  '  Noah's  family  '  saved  from  the 
flood. 

"The  '  Nine,'  of  all  things  created  by  God  ;  for  this 
number  contains  all  the  numerals,  and  can  be  added, 
divided,  and  multiplied,  but  nine  can  always  be  pro- 
duced from  the  answer. 

"  The  '  Ten,'  of  the  '  Ten  Commandments'  given  to 
Moses  on  Mount  Sinai. 

"  The  '  Knaves,'  of  the  false  prophets  of  the  Amale- 
kites. 

"The  '  Queens,'  of  '  Sarah,  wife  of  Abraham,'  of 


84  CAI.ABAZAS. 

1  Pharaoh's  Daughter,'  of  the  *  Queen  ofSheba,'  and  of 
4  Queen  Esther.' 

"  The  Kings,  of  *  Kings  Saul,  David,  Solomon,  and 
Herod.' 

'  *  The  '  Diamond  Suit, '  that  salvation  is  precious 
above  price. 

' '  The  '  Heart  Suit, '  that  the  Saviour  gave  his  heart's 
blood  for  sinners. 

"The  'Club  Suit,'  that  certain  punishment  awaits 
sinner. 

"The  ' Spade  Suit,'  that  the  end  of  life  is  death. 

' '  The  '  Four  Suits, '  that  there  are  four  seasons. 

"  The  whole  pack  of  cards,  that  there  are  fifty- two 
days  of  rest  and  worship  in  each  year." 

As  the  sport  called  off  each  card  in  turn  and  the 
biblical  incident  it  called  to  mind,  the  Father  blessed 
him  for  a  good  man,  though  he  did  use  the  Devil's 
Bible.  So  much  for  gambling  and  cards. 

Swearing,  my  friends,  with  such  as  you,  is  no  sin. 
You  do  not  intend  it  as  a  sacrilege,  nor  do  you  mean- 
ingly curse  each  other.  In  the  Bible  somebody  is 
cursing  somebody  else  from  the  beginning  of  it  to  the 
end.  You  have  sworn  so  much  that  the  words  have 
come  to  be  your  natural  mode  of  expression.  In  more 
thickly  settled  communities  they  do  their  cursing, 
lying,  stealing,  gambling,  and  drinking,  in  private, 
because  they  are  hypocrites,  or  moral  and  physical 
cowards.  You  will  find  as  many  church  members  in 
Hell  as  you  will  people  from  Calabazas.  My  friends, 
Calabazas  people  suit  me,  as  do  the  people  of  all  such 
towns —save  and  excepting  Tubac. 

This  isn't  a  religious  community;  but  I  have  never 


THK   PRICACHKR.  85 

preached  to  a  better  behaved  or  more  attentive  audi- 
ence in  any  city.  Tubac  is  different ;  it  is  an  eyesore 
and  scab  on  the  earth ;  but  Calabazas  will  yet  make 
its  mark.  In  conclusion  I  would  say,  my  dear  friends, 
that  I  thank  you  for  your  presence  and  attention.  A 
collection  will  be  taken  up  after  service,  and  such  as 
desire  to  contribute  to  my  present  or  future  wants  can 
have  an  opportunity  of  doing  so.  I  would  not  come 
into  your  house  and  stand  around  watching  the  game 
unless  I  spent  some  money,  and  I  feel  assured  none  cf 
you  will  take  such  advantage  of  me.  I  want  no  but- 
tons or  nickels,  but  faro  or  poker  chips  on  solid  games 
can  be  put  in.  I  have  confidence  in  your  generosity 
in  spite  of  what  I  was  told  concerning  you  in  Tubac  ; 
don't  be  Judas-like  and  betray  that  confidence. 

Thanking  you  one  and  all,  we  will  conclude  by  sing- 
ing a  hymn  you  all  doubtless  have  heard,  "In  the 
Sweet  Bye  and  Bye. ' ' 

The  hymn  was  sung,  a  prayer  was  said,  and 
the  preacher  then  went  around  with  his  hat. 
Between  cash  and  faro  chips — that  were  as  good— 
his  collection  amounted  to  fully  one  hundred  dollars. 
He  then  again  mounted  his  table,  thanked  the  audi- 
ence, and  dismissed  them  with  a  blessing. 

In  less  than  half  an  hour  every  saloon,  gambling 
and  hurdy  tent  was  again  in  full  blast,  with  all  ac- 
cessories. As  the  Preacher  walked  to  the  Palace 
Hotel,  he  received  many  hand  shakes;  his  eloquence 
and  knowledge  of  the  Bible  were  admiringly  spoken 
of,  and  he  was  placed  on  par  with  Beecher  or  Spur- 
geon.  He  was  declared  to  be  ' '  square,  "  ' '  a  dandy, 
"a  bird,"  "a  lulu,"  and  was  given  every  other 


THE   PREACHER.  87 

choice  title  that  could  express  their  high  estimate  of 
his  character  and  appreciation  of  his  sermon.  He  was 
assured  in  most  profanely  positive  language  that,  upon 
his  return  from  Tombstone,  if  he  desired  to  camp  in 
Calabazas,  that  they  would  '  *  dig  up  ' '  enough  to  sup- 
port him,  and  to  buy  him  a  church  tent ;  because  his 
religious  views  exactly  suited  them.  They  called  him 
' '  Old  Man, "  and  were  as  proud  to  be  in  his  company  as 
if  he  had  been  the  original  Judas  himself.  It  was  noticed 
that  the  ladies  danced  with  greater  religious  fervor 
after  the  sermon,  and  with  unusual  agility,  as  it  were. 

If  the  Rev.  Jones  had  now  eaten  his  supper  and 
gone  about  his  business,  he  would  have  been  remem- 
bered as  a  gifted  but  eccentric  man.  He  had  certainly 
performed  wonders  in  Calabazas.  But  the  Rev.  Jones 
did  not  go.  He  first  ate  a  meal  with  a  consuming 
appetite  that  caused  Cum  Sing  to  have  spasms  of 
horror,  then  he  visited  the  various  games  to  cash  the 
chips  that  had  been  contributed  by  the  different 
gamblers. 

At  midnight  a  most  unearthly  row  awoke  us,  and 
we  went  out  to  see  what  was  the  matter.  It  was  a 
disagreement  between  the  Rev.  Jones  and  a  rustler 
over  some  faro  chips,  the  Preacher  claiming  that  the 
rustler  tried  to  rob  him  of  them.  The  Reverend  proved 
to  be  as  ardent  a  fighter  as  he  was  preacher,  and  gave 
his  opponent  a  most  unmerciful  thrashing.  I  regret 
to  say  that  our  Preacher  had  an  overload  of  Mescal 
and  whisky  aboard. 

It  seems  that  after  supper,  when  he  visited  the 
gambling  tents,  the  Reverend  was  invited  to  partake 
of  the  hospitality  of  his  admirers ;  nothing  loth,  he 


88  CAI.ABAZAS. 

did  so.  When  he  went  to  the  faro  tables  to  cash  his 
chips,  he  was  invited  to  stake  them  and  double  them 
up  for  the  church;  this  he  also  did,  and  continued  to 
double,  uninvited,  displaying  so  much  sagacity  and 
good  judgment  in  "coppering,"  that  he  almost  broke 
two  dealers,  much  to  their  chagrin  and  discomfiture. 
He  refreshed  himself  quite  often  while  despoiling 
the  Philistines  to  the  replenishment  of  the  church's  ex- 
chequer, therefore  his  inner  man  contained  much  Cal- 
abazas  nectar,  the  only  apparent  effect  of  which  was 
to  increase  the  solemnity  of  his  face,  and  his  memory 
of  the  scriptures,  of  which  he  volubly  quoted  verses 
apposite  to  the  various  drinks  and  winnings.  He  was 
cashing  his  last  contributed  chip  at  a  river-bed  resort 
by  staking  it  on  the  game,  and  much  to  the  disgust  of 
the  dealer,  from  that  small  capital  amassing  a  number 
of  piles  of  white,  red,  and  blue  chips;  the  assorted 
colors  representing  quite  a  tidy  sum  for  the  church. 
Presently  his  sleepy  eye  detected  a  rustler  in  the  not 
uncommon  practice  of  stealing  a  few  chips.  If  the 
Reverend  had  possessed  a  bowie-knife,  no  doubt  the 
rustler  would  have  paid  the  common  penalty  for  such 
offence  by  losing  a  finger,  but  not  having  the  bowie- 
knife,  the  Reverend  took  up  his  chips,  and  gave  the 
rogue  a  straight  out  blow  on  the  nose,  followed  by  one 
on  the  ear,  another  on  the  chin,  and  several  others 
that  appeared  to  hit  him  all  over  at  once.  A  blow  on 
the  chin  knocked  the  rustler  down ;  being  permitted 
to  stand  up  again,  he  invited  the  Reverend  outside  to 
fight  it  out,  which  invitation  he  regretted  having 
extended  a  few  minutes  later.  It  was  this  row  that 
awakened  us. 


THE    PREACHER.  89 

The  Rev.  Jones  left  the  defeated  rustler,  and  made  a 
tour  of  the  hurdy-houses  to  bid  farewell  to  the  ladies 
of  his  Calabazas  flock,  which  he  did  with  parting 
waltzes,  polkas,  and  schottisches,  to  show  that  he 
practiced  what  he  preached.  At  4  A.  M.  he  called  at 
the  Custom  House  and  bade  us  good-bye.  The  good 
man  entered  the  corral,  saddled  his  mule,  and  departed, 
humming  the  hymn  known  as  "Jordan. ' '  His  Rever- 
ence's mule  had  not  been  idle  meantime  ;  while  his 
master  was  practically  illustrating  the  lessons  of  the 
morning,  the  clay-bank  mule  had  become  so  fascinated 
by  the  hay  stack,  that  he  had  broken  his  halter  and 
appeased  an  appetite  only  equalled  by  his  owner's. 
After  feeding  to  his  heart's  content,  he  had  put  in  the 
remainder  of  the  night  in  scraping  acquaintance  with 
the  other  animals  in  the  corral.  Whether  they 
objected,  or  the  clay-bank  mule  was  proud,  is  not 
known;  but  as  a  fact,  daylight  developed  that  such 
animals  as  had  not  had  some  ribs  staved  in  by  the 
clay-bank's  active  heels,  were  limping  around  the 
corral  with  bruised  hips,  legs  and  shoulders. 

The  Rev.  Jones  did  not  go  to  Tombstone,  but 
instead  to  Nogales,  on  the  boundary  line.  As  a 
wealthy  cattle  buyer,  he  halted  at  Pete's  ranche  for  a 
breakfast  of  tortillas,  frijoles,  and  coffee,  with  that 
hospitable  pioneer,  and  remained  long  enough  after- 
wards to  have  a  civil  game  of  poker  with  Pete — during 
which  he  taught  that  gentleman  several  tricks  with 
cards — and  continued  on  his  way  with  a  twenty-five 
dollar  contribution  from  the  old  gentleman,  that 
amount  having  been  staked  by  him  on  sure  hands. 


9O  CALABAZAS. 

The  last  heard  of  the  Rev.  Jones  he  was  at  the 
Mexican  Custom  House  at  Nogales,  explaining  in  per- 
fect Spanish  that  he  was  on  the  way  to  Hermosilla  to 
visit  the  Governor  of  Sonora,  from  whom  he  intended 
getting  a  concession  to  establish  a  tadpole  cannery  at 
the  mouth  of  the  Colorado  River,  there  being  quite  a 
demand  for  that  delicacy — from  the  Chinese. 

A  few  days  after  the  Rev.  Jones'  departure,  Cala- 
bazas  was  visited  by  a  supernaturally  cunning  fellow, 
very  secretive,  and  wearing  a  disguise — the  infallible 
sign  of  a  detective  when  they  do  not  wish  to  be  known. 
Simultaneously  with  the  advent  of  this  ' '  ever  open 
eye  "  of  a  detective,  it  was  known  to  all  that  he  was 
trailing  the  Preacher,  who  was  no  minister  at  all,  nor 
was  his  name  Jones ;  in  fact,  he  was  a  murderer  and 
robber  from  Texas  or  Kansas,  and  for  whose  appre- 
hension a  large  reward  was  offered. 

For  a  long  time  it  was  quite  imprudent  to  refer  to 
the  Gospel  as  she  was  preached  in  Calabazas.  The 
mention  of  Judas,  or  of  the  sacred  character  of  a  pack 
of  cards,  insured  a  serious  personal  difficulty  with  one 
or  more  of  the  leading  citizens,  many  of  whom,  in 
strangely  compounded  sentences,  volunteered  their 
opinion  that  there  was  a  "hoodoo"  on  Calabazas, 
when  such  men  as  the  "  Kid"  or  "  Preacher  "  could 
come  in  and  work  them  for  jays  and  suckers.  Either 
the  altitude  or  the  water,  or  the  close  proximity  to  the 
Greaser  country  had  dulled  their  perceptions,  when 
such  "bald  fakirs  could  fool  them." 

The  reception  to  future  visiting  priests  or  preachers 
was  so  cool  as  to  almost  induce  congestive  chills  in 
those  gentlemen,  in  spite  of  the  fact  that  the  ther- 


THE    PREACHER.  9! 

mometer  was  quite  low  in  Calabazas  when  it  stood  at 
120  deg.  (in  the  shade?) 

At  the  village  of  Tubac,  twenty  miles  north,  the  Rev. 
Jones,  as  a  wealthy  mining  speculator,  had  been  caught 
by  a  sharper  than  he  to  the  tune  of  fifty  dollars  and 
an  empty  purse,  in  a  quiet  monte  game,  which  ac- 
counted for  the  Reverend  personage's  disparagement 
of  said  Tubac,  its  houses  and  its  thirty  of  mixed 
population. 

To  Cum  Sing,  the  Preacher's  visit  and  appetite 
was  an  epoch.  Cum  Sing  had  predicted  him  a  fraud 
when  he  ate  five  dollars'  worth  on  a  fifty  cent  basis. 
All  subsequent  incidents  he  dated  as  such  a  time  after 
4 '  him  clazy  pleacher. ' ' 

No  one  ever  saw  a  faro  or  poker  chip  subscribed 
for  charity  at  Calabazas  after  this  experience  with  the 
Preacher.  It  was  considered  as  being  a  hoodoo  on 
their  games.  No  church  was  ever  erected  in  Cala- 
bazas, nor  was  any  other  religious  service  for  living  or 
dead  ever  afterward  performed  in  that  city  up  to  the 
time  that  its  citizens  moved  to  Nogales,  where  they 
could  step  over  the  Line  into  Mexico  in  case  of  urgent 
necessity. 


THE  CALABAZAS  WIDOW. 


SHE   COMES — SHE   INVESTS — SHE    INCREASES    HER 
"WAD" — SHE  DEPARTS  FOR  THE  LINE. 

As  the  months  rolled  by,  and  the  railroad  hands 
spent  their  monthly  earnings  in  the  city,  it  prospered 
and  grew,  and  the  cactus  plants  and  boulders  were 
cleared  from  the  street.  A  graveyard  was  laid  out, 
and  the  older  saloon-keepers  that  had  waxed  in  riches 
by  means  of  their  bars  and  gambling  tables,  imported 
lumber,  and  built  substantial  wooden  walls  six  feet 
high  around  their  tent  sides,  these  answering  the 
double  purpose  of  checking  vagrant  bullets,  and  pre- 
venting the  sudden,  violent  summer  storms  from  tear- 
ing up  the  tent  sides. 

In  spite  of  the  fact  that  Calabazas  was  so  rapidly 
assuming  metropolitan  proportions,  nowhere  in  that 
town  could  the  weary  pilgrim  find  a  bed  upon  which 
to  rest  his  tired  bones.  He  was  assured  of  drink  in 
a  variety.  He  would  be  dexterously  and  expeditiously 
fleeced  at  any  manner  of  game.  He  could  eliminate 
from  his  soul  all  hope  of  salvation,  by  reason  of  the 
intensity  of  his  objurgations  against  Calabazan  heat, 
insects,  and  customs.  He  might  be  slaughtered  with 


THE   WIDOW.  93 

the  most  gentlemanly  consideration,  and  in  the  latest 
and  most  approved  style ;  but  he  could  find  no  sleep- 
ing place  other  than  the  hurdy-house  bench  or  gamb- 
ling table.  When  the  Calabazan  retired  at  all,  he  did 
so  wrapped  in  his  own  blankets  and  upon  his  own 
floor,  the  previously  imbibed  Calabazas  whisky  being 
his  mattress  and  sheets.  A  stranger  awaiting  to  retire 
on  a  bench,  a  table,  or  the  floor,  could  seldom  do  so 
before  daybreak,  and  then  torturing  dreams  of  broken 
bones  disturbed  his  rest,  if  wandering  bullets  did  not 
make  it  endless.  A  request  to  sleep  upon  the  corral 
hay  aroused  suspicion — unless  he  had  a  horse — and 
the  Palace  Hotel  was  but  a  restaurant  and  nightly 
resort  for  the  Calabazan  cats,  that  were  as  truculent 
as  their  masters. 

Blessings  ever  come  when  unexpected.  At  noon 
one  day  the  stage  landed  a  strange  lady  in  our  midst. 
She  was  a  lady  about  thirty  years  old,  good  looking, 
black  haired,  not  at  all  proud  or  too  fat,  and  with  a 
quick  eye  and  an  independent  demeanor.  She  trip- 
pingly alighted  from  the  stage,  a  small  hand  satchel 
and  a  poodle  dog,  her  sole  baggage,  was  handed  out, 
and  she  entered  the  Palace  Hotel.  As  soon  as  she 
entered,  she  apparently  owned  that  hostelry,  and 
demanded  to  be  shown  into  a  private  room.  Cum 
Sing  escorted  her  to  that  exclusive  apartment,  in 
which  she  made  herself  at  home  by  depositing  her  dog 
on  one  chair  and  her  satchel  on  another.  She  then 
ordered  him  to  preserve  that  room  for  her  sole  use 
during  her  stay  ;  wished  to  know  at  what  hour  supper 
would  be  ready,  and  desired  him  to  bring  her  a  look- 
ing glass  instantly.  Cum  Sing  retired  panic  stricken, 


94  CAtABAZAS. 

not  being  possessed  of  a  whole  looking  glass,  he  con- 
fiscated the  fraction  of  one  that  was  the  property  of 
the  cook,  Hi  Sing,  who  was  something  of  a  Chinese 
dude,  and  brought  it  to  the  lady. 

After  several  ineffectual  attempts  to  pin  the  piece 
of  mirror  to  the  canvas  sides  of  the  room,  the  lady, 
muttering  something  very  like  an  oath,  propped  it  on 
the  table  against  the  partition.  She  took  off  her  hat 
and  veil,  and  removed  her  overdress  of  linen ;  then 
with  a  wriggle  she  lowered  her  shoulders  and  projected 
her  bustle  until  her  face  was  reflected  from  the  glass. 
She  took  her  handkerchief  from  the  reticule  that  hung 
at  her  waist,  wiped  the  poodle's  eyes  and  nose,  spat 
on  the  handkerchief,  and  with  great  care  and  delib- 
eration wiped  her  own  face,  paying  particular  atten- 
tion to  the  depressions  around  her  ears,  eyes,  nose, 
and  mouth.  She  spat  again  on  the  handkerchief  and 
washed  her  hands.  Another  trip  to  the  reticule  brought 
out  a  piece  of  buckskin  and  a  small  package  of 
"Beauty's  Bloom,"  with  which  she  vigorously  rubbed 
her  cheeks,  nose,  chin,  and  ears,  and  wriggled  herself 
variously  until  all  parts  of  her  face  and  neck  had  been 
viewed  in  the  glass. 

The  result  of  her  labors  appeared  to  be  satisfactory, 
for  she  kissed  her  dog  cheerfully.  She  then  opened 
the  hand  satchel  and  took  therefrom  a  red  ostrich 
feather  wrapped  in  tissue  paper ;  this  she  arranged  on 
her  hat  so  as  to  droop  gracefully  down  her  neck.  She 
next  unbuttoned  the  bosom  of  her  dress,  and  from  that 
safe  depository  extracted  six  jewelled  rings,  a  locket 
and  neck-chain,  a  gold  watch  and  chatelain,  a  brooch, 
and  a  pair  of  gold  chain  bracelets.  On  the  two  first 


THE  WIDOW.  95 

fingers  of  one  hand  she  put  a  pearl,  a  ruby,  and  two 
cluster  diamond  rings.  Upon  the  third  finger  of  her 
left  hand  she  added  two  solitaire  diamond  rings  to  the 
plain  gold  one  already  there.  The  chatelain  and  watch 
she  pinned  to  her  ample  bosom,  and  the  chain  and 
locket  were  clasped  around  her  neck.  Slipping  the 
bracelets  on  her  wrists  she  again  kissed  the  dog,  sur- 
veyed herself  with  much  complacency,  and  closed  the 
satchel  with  a  snap. 

With  her  handkerchief,  assisted  by  her  ever  useful 
spittle,  she  wiped  the  dust  from  her  shoes  anl  ob- 
tained quite  a  polish,  afterwards  holding  her  dress 
tight  against  her  shins  to  get  a  full  view  of  her  feet. 
She  next  put  her  foot  on  a  chair,  raised  her  clothing 
to  her  knees,  pulled  down  her  stocking  and  brought 
from  the  leg  thereof  a  wad  of  greenbacks,  from  which 
she  selected  one  or  two  notes,  and  replaced  the  wad  in 
her  stocking,  refastened  the  garter,  put  her  foot  to  the 
floor,  and  adjusted  her  clothing  by  a  vigorous  and 
eccentric  shake,  with  side  squeezes  and  pats  on  the 
bustle  to  insure  symmetry  in  the  rear.  She  unfastened 
some  lumps  of  hair  that  were  on  her  forehead,  and 
with  a  few  dexterous  movements  of  her  fingers  was 
in  possession  of  a  most  artistic  and  fashionable  bang ; 
one  that  met  her  arched  eyebrows  and  gave  a  delight- 
fully coquettish  glamour  to  her  roguish  black  eyes. 
A  few  hair  pins  were  jabbed  in  at  odd  places,  and  she 
placed  her  hat  on,  twisting  the  brim,  and  shifting  the 
feather  until  the  effect  pleased  her.  Her  toilet  com- 
pleted, the  lady  pulled  a  tan  colored  kid  glove  par- 
tially on  one  hand,  seated  herself  in  a  chair,  took  the 
dog  in  her  lap,  leaned  languidly  back,  crossed  her 


96  CALABAZAS. 

feet — exposing  them  slightly  from  under  her  dress — 
rested  her  elbow  on  the  table,  and  summoned  Cum 
Sing  to  her  by  the  usual  signals  with  the  salt  cellar. 

When  Cum  Sing  entered,  confused  at  the  change  in 
the  appearance  of  his  guest,  he  looked  around  in  a 
wondering,  dazed  way,  to  see  from  whence  she  ob- 
tained the  articles  to  so  entirely  metamorphose  herself 
in  so  short  a  time.  Seeing  no  trunks  or  hat  boxes,  he 
was  in  a  reverie  as  to  whether  or  not  she  was  gifted 
with  occult  powers  that  she  might  possibly  use  to  his 
disadvantage,  when  she  aroused  him  by  saying, 

"John,  I  want  you  to  understand  that  I  am  a  per- 
fect lady. ' '  (John  in  the  West  is  the  name  given  and 
answered  to  by  all  Chinamen.) 

''All  lite,  me  sabee,"  said  cautious  Cum  Sing. 

"John,"  said  the  lady,  "I  am  a  lady,  and  I  pays 
my  way,  and  don't  want  nothing  from  nobody." 

"All  lite,  me  sabee,"  said  Cum  Sing,  fully  con- 
vinced of  the  truth  of  the  lady's  latter  assertion  after 
the  marvellous  and  mysterious  change  in  her  appear- 
ance. 

"John,"  continued  the  lady,  "  I  leave  my  satchel 
and  dog  here ;  his  name  is  'Beauty.'  I  don't  want 
you  feed  him,  it  make  him  sick.  Don't  let  him 
out  or  he  be  lost,  he  all  we  have  to  remember  our 
mother  by,  and  if  he  lost,  I  have  four  brothers  who 
will  walk  five  hundred  miles  to  kill  you  if  he  is  lost 
here." 

"All  lite,  me  sabee,"  answered  Cum  Sing,  with  a 
wish  for  a  burglar  proof  safe  to  lock  Beauty  in  unti' 
his  mistress  returned. 

The  lady  kissed  Beauty,  gave  some  parting  pats  t( 


THE   WIDOW.  97 

her  bustle,  and  left  the  room  with  Cum  Sing.  That 
confused  celestial  pinned  up  the  door  to  safely  confine 
Beauty,  and  as  he  started  for  the  kitchen,  he  was  again 
halted : 

"John,  anybody  here  sell  lots,  you  sabee  lots?  I 
like  buy  lots. ' '  (Americans  in  talking  with  the  Chinese 
affect  this  broken  style,  from  a  superstitious  idea  that 
they  are  speaking  their  language  to  a  certain  extent.) 

Said  Cum  Sing,  "  All  lite,  me  sabee  ;  you  sabee  one 
man,  Mis'  Clandal?  him  sell  lots." 

Queried  the  lady,  "  Where  his  office?  " 

' '  No  hab  got  office,  maybe  so  you  fine  him  in  s'loon ; 
maybe  so  him  play'g  poker;  maybe  so  him  in  huldy- 
house;*  him  name  Mis'  Clandal,  ebbybody  know 
Mis'  Clandal,  him  welly  good  man;  him  agent  for 
Company  ;  him  sell  lots. ' ' 

Both  the  ' '  perfect  lady  ' '  and  Cum  Sing  turned  to 
go  their  ways,  when  again  was  he  halted  by : 

"  Say,  John,  if  any  one  come  see  me,  you  tell  'em 
wait  little  while." 

"  All  lite,  me  sabee.     What  your  name  ?  " 

"  Oh,  my  name  Mrs.  Salsberry." 

"  All  lite,  your  name  Miss  Sallis  Bellee." 

The  lady  turned  and  said  angrily  : 

'  *  I  said  my  name  Mrs.  Salsberry. ' ' 

"  Me  sabee,  Miss  Sallis  Bellee." 

* '  Look  here,  John, ' '  said  the  incensed  woman,  '  'you 
no  call  my  name  right,  my  name  S-a-1-s-b-e-r-r-y, 
Salsberry,  now  you  sabee?  " 

"Yes,  yes,  me  sabee,  your  name  Miss  Sallis  Bellee. 
Me  no  forget,  me  sabee,  Sallis  Bellee  him  your  name. 

*  Hurdy  House. 


98  CALABAZAS. 

Welly  good,  somebody  come,  me  tell  'em  Miss  Sallis 
Bellee  come  bye-an-bye." 

The  woman's  eyes  snapped  as  she  approached  Cum 
Sing  more  closely,  and  her  shapely  hand  was  doubled 
as  if  to  give  him  a  blow,  but  when  within  striking 
distance,  she  changed  her  mind.  She  probably  saw, 
from  his  vacant  stare,  that  her  name  was  unpronounc- 
able  by  him,  for  she  turned,  and  walked  rapidly  out 
and  towards  the  store.  Cum  Sing  gazed  at  his  lady 
guest  until  she  disappeared,  and  then  adjourned  to  the 
kitchen  where  Hi  Sing  and  Lo  Sing  wTere  preparing 
the  evening  meals.  He  dropped  on  the  bottom  of  a 
bucket  as  if  exhausted,  and,  talking  as  much  to  himself 
as  to  the  others,  said : 

'  'All  lite,  me  sabee,  she  lady,  she  no  \vant  nutting, 
she  hab  got  ebbyting,  her  name  Miss  Sallis  Bellee,  her 
got  fo'  bludders,  she  get  off  stage,  she  got  olee  hat, 
olee  shoe,  olee  d'less,  her  face  all  duttee,  her  hands 
all  duttee,  no  hab  got  hair,  no  hab  got  t'lunk,  no  hab 
got  walise,  no  hab  got  tow'l,  no  hab  got  soap,  no  hab 
got  shoe  blacking,  no  hab  nutting.  All  lite.  She  go 
p'livate  loom,  one  hap  hour  she  callee  me,  she  hab  got 
new  d'less,  hab  got  new  shoe,  hab  got  new  hat, 
hab  got  blacelet,  hab  got  lings  on  hands,  hab  got  big 
chain  on  neck,  hab  got  watch  lite  here  (striking  his 
breast),  her  face  all  wash,  her  hands  all  wash,  her  face 
all  white,  her  lings  all  lite,  Je  Cli !  wha'  mailer  Miss 
Sallis  Bellee,  me  no  sabee  Miss  Sallis  Bellee,  me  tink 
she  clazy. 

This  supposition  of  Cum  Sing's  was  the  decision 
invariably  reached  by  his  countrymen  when  they  saw 
cLi-yUiing  odd  or  eccentric  in  anyone.  "Him  clazy" 


THE   WIDOW.  99 

was  a  finality,  and  once  thut  conclusion  was  readied, 
the  matter  was  no  longer  discussable.  Cum  Sing 
ceased  muttering  and  wandered  into  the  dining-room, 
slit  one  of  the  seams  in  the  wall  of  the  private  room, 
and  held  his  eye  to  the  opening  until  he  had  assured 
himself  that  nothing  had  been  surreptitiously  taken 
therefrom  or  added  to  its  contents. 

The  lady,  meanwhile,  had  reached  the  store,  after 
creating  an  unusual  amount  of  interest  and  conjecture 
on  the  street  as  to  who  she  was,  where  from,  and  her 
business  in  Calabazas.  She  was  not  recognized  as  the 
lady  delivered  from  the  stage;  she,  fairy  like,  had 
sprung  from  the  earth.  If  Queen  Victoria,  in  her 
royal  regalia,  had  entered  that  store,  there  would  not 
have  been  more  confusion  than  there  was  before  this 
lady  possessed  of  a  consummate  knowledge  of  men,  and 
the  value  of  first  impressions.  She  very  sweetly  apol- 
ogised to  the  store-keeper  for  disturbing  him,  and 
asked  if  he  could  inform  her  of  the  whereabouts  of  a 
"Mr.  Clandall,"  the  land  agent.  The  storekeeper  did 
not  know  just  where  Crandall  was  at  that  moment, 
but  would  inquire.  A  dozen  loungers  volunteered  to 
hunt  him  up;  one  man  evidently  badly  struck  and 
anxious  to  please,  said,  "H — 1!  ma'am,  wait  for  a 
minnit  and  I'll  dig  up  that  bloat  for  you  in  no  time." 
The  lady  thanked  him,  gracefully  seated  herself  upon 
a  sugar  barrel  on  which  a  paper  had  been  gallantly 
spread,  and  patiently  awaited  the  return  of  her  courier. 

In  an  incredibly  short  time — for  Calabazas — Cran- 
dall was  seen  approaching  the  store  in  company  with 
several  of  the  loungers ,  his  arm  being  held  by  the 
emphatic  gentleman  that  had  called  him  a  "bloat." 


fOO  CALABAZAS. 

They  may  have  used  threats, or  monetary,  or  mescal 
inducements ;  or  they  may  have  excited  his  imagina- 
tion by  assertions  that  the  Presidentess,  or  Mrs.  Astor, 
instantly  desired  his  presence,  to  reward  him  for  cap- 
turing the  ' '  Kid, ' '  or  for  his  general  worthiness.  But 
however  they  obtained  him,  he  was  coming  without 
loss  of  time.  Crandall  did  not  have  a  joyous  look ;  to 
the  contrary,  his  face  was  not  as  high  colored  as  usual, 
and  the  nervous  twitching  of  his  eyes  indicated  much 
uneasiness,  to  say  the  least. 

If  Crandall  was  frightened,  it  was  with  a  fear  not 
at  all  censurable  under  the  circumstances  ;  for  when  a 
strange  lady  sends  after  a  man  in  a  frontier  town,  it  is 
a  serious  matter — for  the  man.  Men  and  women  drift 
into  these  places  from  everywhere  or  anywhere,  and 
seldom  meet  acquaintances.  No  one  knows  the  former 
complications  of  their  lives,  therefore,  when  they  are 
inquired  after  by  a  stranger,  the  inclination  to  skip 
away  unseen  is  overpowering ;  an  inquiring  lady  is 
assumed  to  be  a  nemesis,  and  necessarily  one  to  be 
carefully  reconoitered  before  meeting.  Consequently 
it  was  somewhat  difficult  for  a  strange  lady  to  inter- 
view a  gentleman  in  Calabazas,  until  after  her  motives 
were  known.  This  lady  had  given  no  inkling  of  hers, 
hence  Crandall 's  disinclination  to  meet  her  too 
abruptly. 

Drinkwater,  as  soon  as  he  was  informed  that  there 
was  a  lady  at  the  store  who  wished  to  see  Crandall, 
and  that  she  had  given  neither  her  name  nor  business, 
saddled  his  horse  and  started  on  a  full  gallop  to  the 
Line  to  intercept  a  band  of  smugglers.  To  confuse 
and  throw  the  smugglers  off  their  guard,  he  told  the 


THE  WIDOW.  ror 

saloon-keeper  under  the  Custom  House  that  his  desti- 
nation was  Tubac,  and  that  he  might  keep  on  to  Tuc- 
son, or  still  farther  north  until  he  caught  the  revenue 
robbers.  Drink  water  (or  "  Drinky  ")  was  not  a  man 
to  take  chances,  and  a  deep  laid  scheme  to  entrap  him 
by  means  of  his  friend  Crandall  might  be  the  lady's 
true  object. 

No  sooner  was  Crandall  introduced  to  the  lady, 
however,  than  he  was  put  at  ease,  for  she  wished  to 
know  if  he  had  any  eligible  lots  for  sale.  In  a 
moment  he  was  as  lively  as  a  chipmunk,  and  an  unceas- 
ing flow  of  words,  spoken  in  laudation  of  Calabazas, 
deluged  that  lady.  He  concluded  by  asking  her  to 
view  the  property,  assuring  her  that  he  would, 
"  being  as  it  was  herself,"  give  her  a  special  bargain. 
He  was  so  relieved  to  find  that  the  lady  desired  to  see 
him  on  no  personal  matter  that  he  would  have  pre- 
sented her  with  a  lot  if  she  had  requested  it.  The 
lady  said  that  she  "was  agreeable,  but,"  looking 
around  her,  she  "wished  it  to  be  understood  by  all  that 
she  was  a  perfect  lady,  able  to  pay  her  way,  and 
didn't  want  nothing  from  nobody;"  to  which  state- 
ment her  listeners  assented,  after  taking  a  mental 
inventory  of  her  jewelry  and  wearing  apparel. 

The  lady  left  the  store  with  Crandall,  sweeping  the 
floor  with  her  dress,  as  it  swayed  from  side  to  side 
with  a  grace  and  dignity  not  before  seen  in  Calabazas. 
Crandall  was  enthusiastically  attentive  and  voluble. 
It  was  the  proudest  moment  he  had  known  since  the 
"  Kid"  incident,  and  he  did  not  fail  to  escort  the  lady 
to  see  every  lot  within  the  city  limits.  The  lady  was 
hard  to  plea.se.  One  lot  was  too  close  to  a  saloon  ' '  for 


102  CA^ABAZAS. 

a  lady."  Another  lot  was  in  hearing  distance  of  a 
hurdy-house,  which  would  be  "annoying  to  a  perfect 
lady."  Another  lot,  eligible  other  ways,  was  next  to 
a  gambling  house.  After  viewing  each  lot  from  dif- 
ferent angles,  with  many  inquiries  as  to  where  would 
be  the  business  centre  of  the  city,  etc.,  the  lady  de- 
clared that  none  was  suitabie  but  the  one  next  to  the 
gambling  tent,  and  that  one  "  a  lady"  could  not 
think  of  buying  on  any  account. 

Many  hours  were  consumed  in  convincing  the  lady 
that  the  "  Golden  Fleece,"  the  gambling  house  afore- 
said, was  as  quiet  as  a  church.  Handsome  George, 
the  proprietor,  was  widely  known  as  a  man  of  hasty 
revolver  action  and  great  nerve.  The  handles  of  his 
old  pistols  had  been  notched  until  disfigured,  and  he 
had  just  invested  in  a  new  pair,  which  he  would  begin 
notching  the  first  difficulty  that  occurred  in  his  house. 
Curly  Pete,  of  the  Coliseum,  and  Bottle  Bob — so  named 
from  his  predeliction  for  smashing  beer  bottles  over 
the  heads  of  fractious  customers — of  the  Pantheon, 
and  Casino  Harry,  of  the  Big  Casino  hurdy-house ; 
these  with  Handsome  George  constituted  the  upper 
j  tratum  of  Calabazas  society  ;  and  they  assured  the 
lady  that  she  would  find  George  a  quiet  neighbor,  and 
one  that  "no  durned  jay  could  get  the  drop  on." 
Upon  the  personal  guarantee  of  George,  who  was  a 
handsome  man  of  perfect  manners,  that  no  noise  from 
his  place  should  disturb  her,  she  finally  concluded  to 
buy  this  lot.  Her  decision  reached,  she  was  not  long 
in  beating  Crandall  down  from  six  hundred  to  one 
hundred  dollars  for  that  valuable  corner,  and  instructed 
him  to  fill  up  the  deed. 


THE   WIDOW.  103 

Crandall  now  felt  justified  in  expending  some  money 
in  entertaining  his  customer.  He  accordingly  asked 
the  lady  if  she  would  not  refresh  herself;  the  lady 
graciously  said,  "as  it  was  a  warm  day,"  that  she 
would  take  beer.  He  secured  a  bottle  of  iced  beer  and 
two  glasses  from  the  Golden  Fleece,  and  they  adjourned 
to  the  rear  room  of  the  store  to  prepare  the  deed. 
They  drank  mutual  healths,  and  by  the  time  the  lady 
had  emptied  the  bottle,  he  had  filled  up  the  deed, 
which  she  examined  closely,  and  by  her  questions  and 
the  corrections  insisted  upon,  showed  that  she  was 
perfectly  able  to  take  care  of  herself  in  business 
transactions. 

The  deed  corrected  to  her  satisfaction,  she  requested 
Crandall  to  step  out  for  a  moment,  which  that  suspi- 
cious party  did,  carrying  the  deed  with  him.  In  a 
short  time  he  was  recalled,  and  the  lady,  unrolling  the 
wad  of  currency  that  had  just  been  taken  from  her 
stocking,  handed  him  his  money,  received  the  deed, 
and,  bidding  him  good  night,  returned  to  the  hotel. 
The  sight  of  so  much  money  made  the  room  whirl 
before  Crandall 's  eyes,  and  from  that  moment  he  was 
her  devoted  slave. 

During  her  absence,  Cum  Sing  had  kept  strict  watch 
and  ward  over  the  "p'livate  loom;"  and  frequent 
applications  of  his  eyes  to  the  slit  in  the  partition, 
convinced  him  that  no  mysterious  changes  were  taking 
place  in  that  respectable  apartment.  Beauty  being  a 
dog  of  education  and  advanced  age,  had  slept  the  whole 
afternoon,  therefore  Cum  Sing  was  in  a  composed  and 
friendly  state  of  mind.  The  majority  of  his  boarders 
had  eaten  their  supper,  leaving  him  leisure  to  attend 


104  CALABAZAS. 

the  lady.  As  she  entered  the  door,  he  suavely  invited 
her  to  be  seated  at  a  table,  and  made  himself  social 
and  agreeable  by  saying: 

"  How  do,  Miss  Sallis  Bellee,  how  you  like  Calabas? 
How  you  like  Mis'  Clandal?  " 

The  lady,  eyeing  Cum  Sing  impressively,  said  : 
"See  here,  John,  you  no  call  my  name  right.     You 
call  me  lady — that  all,"  continuing,  "  you  bring  lamp 
to  little  room,  I  want  some  supper." 

She  turned,  cast  a  scornful  glance  at  a  few  men  who 

were  giggling  at  Cum  Sing's  mispronunciation  of  her 

name,  and  sailed   majestically  to   the   private  room, 

which  was  soon  brilliantly  illuminated  with  a  hand 

lamp.     The  privacy  of  this  room  was  entirely  a  matter 

of  imagination  or  faith,  for  everything  said  in    one 

room  could  be  heard  in  the  other,  and  after  lamp -light 

a  person  would  have  been  as  private  on  the  public 

street.      The  lady  however  appeared  to  be  satisfied 

with  its  privacy.     She  removed  her  gloves  and  hat, 

fondled  Beauty  for  a  moment,  and,  turning  to  Cum 

Sing,  who  was  patiently  awaiting  her  supper  order, 

the  following  conversation  took  place  : 

"John,  I  like  supper,  what  you  got?" 

4 '  All  lite,  hab  got  plenty  ebbyting,  what  you  likee  ?" 

"What  kind  soup  you  got,  John  ?  " 

"  Hab  got  maccalony  soup,  hab  got  noodle  soup, 

hab  got  weg'table  soup,  hab  got ." 

"This  Friday,  John,  you  no  got  oyster  soup?  " 
"No  oyster  in  Calabas,  him  all  gone  way." 
"Well,  bring  me  some  broiled  chicken  and  a  rum 
omelette." 

"No  hab  got  b'loiled  chicken,  chicken  he  all  die 


THK   WIDOW.  105 

dis-a-way ' '  (here  Cum  Sing  imitated  a  chicken  with 
gapes  or  catarrh).  "  I  no  sabee  luinlomlet." 

"  You  no  sabee  take  eggs,  break  them  all  up,  beat 
with  spoon,  and  cook  all  the  same  as  pancake  ?  " 

"Yes,  yes,  me  sabee,  egg  lornlet.  Me  no  sabee 
lumlomlet.  You  likee  egg  lomlet  ? ' ' 

"Yes,  bring  me  omelette." 

"No  more  egg,  him  sun  too  hot,  make  eggs  all 
lotten.  Hab  got  condensed  milk." 

4 'Got  roast  beef?" 

"  No  hab  got  loast  beef;  Pete-de-lancher,  no  sabee 
how  cut  loast  beef,  he  make  him  all  lib  steak  an  all 
soup  bone." 

"Well,  then  (despairingly)  bring  me  a  steak  well 
done." 

"  No  hab  got  steak,  him  fly  lay  egg  on  him  steak 
and  wum  spile  him,  maybe  so  Pete-de-lancher  come 
tomolla." 

"  You  got  sardines  ?" 

"No  hab  got  soldines,  s'loon  catch  all  him  fum 
st'lore  fo'  lunch  table."  Brightening,  "Hab  got 
codfish?" 

' '  Have  you  any  potatoes  ? ' ' 

"  No  hab  got ;  g'lass  all  g'low  out  him  eye  and  he 
spile." 

"  Well,  my  goodness,  John,  what  you  got  to  eat?" 

"  Hab  got  welly  nice  beans,  welly  nice  bacon,  welly 
nice  licee,  welly  nice  b'lead  and  c' lacker,  welly  nice 
tea,  welly  nice  coffee,  welly  nice  sullup,  welly  nice 
ebbyting  you  like. ' ' 

"Well,  John,  bring  me  anything  you  like,  I  awful 
hungry  and  tired." 


106  CALA  BAZAS. 

"Alle  lite,  me  sabee,  lady,  me  b'ling  you  welly 
nice  supper. ' ' 

And  so  he  did.  In  a  little  while  he  brought  the 
hungry  woman  a  dish  of  bacon  slices  fried  to  a  crisp 
in  batter,  with  watercresses  on  the  side  ;  a  dish  of  rice 
cooked  as  only  the  Chinese  can  cook  it ;  a  few  slices 
of  buttered  toast,  a  can  of  sardines,  obtained  from  some 
saloon,  and  a  fresh  and  refreshing  pot  of  tea ;  not 
forgetting  a  side  dish  of  that  standard  delicacy,  brown 
beans  with  a  piece  of  fat  pork  nestling  in  the  center 
of  the  dish. 

When  Cum  Sing  set  the  fare  before  Mrs.  Salsberry, 
a  look  of  surprise  and  pleasure  appeared  on  her  face, 
for  she  had  resigned  herself  to  expect  crackers  and 
stale  tea.  With  the  quickness  of  his  race,  her  host 
noticed  the  pleased  look,  and  having  no  one  else  to 
attend  to,  exerted  himself  to  both  the  entertaining  and 
the  supplying  of  her  wants.  As  she  ate,  Cum  Sing 
kept  up  a  running  fire  of  suggestions  as  ' '  You  like 
soldines?  him  welly  good,  I  buy  um  for  you;  him 
welly  nice  tea  ;  you  d'link  p'lenty,  putty  soon  you  no 
more  ti'ed." 

These  advances  and  suggestions  being  graciously 
received,  Cum  Sing  became  more  familiar,  as  is  cus- 
tomary with  his  race,  and  asked  his  guest  a  great 
many  questions  ;  for  be  it  understood  that  the  heathen 
Chinese  has  as  much  inquisitiveness  as  the  American , 
if  he  is  encouraged  in  the  least.  So,  between  his  push- 
ing the  dishes  closer  to  her  hands,  and  his  suggestions, 
he  made  a  great  many  inquiries.  "  If  she  was  mal- 
Hecl  ?  "  ' '  Was  she  going  to  lib  in  Calabers  ?  "  ' '  How 
she  like  Calabas  ?  "  "  How  she  like  Mis'  Clandal?" 


THE   WIDOW.  107 

"What  she  going  to  do  in  Calabazas?"  etc.,  etc.,  to 
which  questions  he  received  answers  from  the  lady 
couched  in  general  terms,  which  left  him  as  wise  as 
before. 

The  lady's  appetite  was  soon  appeased,  and  she  sipped 
her  tea  leisurely  after  doing  full  justice  to  Cum  Sing's 
really  excellent  meal ;  but  she  had  entirely  neglected 
the  beans ;  not  to  eat  beans  was  a  sure  sign — in  Cala- 
bazas— of  failing  health ;  this  neglect  of  the  succulent 
beans  did  not  escape  the  eagle  eye  of  Cum  Sing,  and 
he  pushed  them  before  her  saying  : 

"You  no  likee  beans?  him  welly  good." 

"No,  John,  I  full  now,  I  no  care  for  beans." 

' '  What  for  you  flaid  ?  Him  beans  all  lite,  him  no 
make  you  ti'ed. 

"No,  John,  I  no  more  hungry." 

"Me  sabee,  you  plenty  flaid;  you  likee,  you  eat. 
Huldy-house  lady  eat  beans  allee  time,  my  beans  no 
make  you  feel  solly . ' ' 

The  lady  still  refusing  to  partake  of  the  beans  in 
spite  of  Cum  Sing's  strong  encomiums,  and  having 
finished  her  cup  of  tea,  he  began  to  clear  the  table. 
When  he  had  the  dishes  piled  and  prepared  to  remove 
them,  the  lady  said  : 

"John,  you  have  bed,"  of  course  referring  to  a  bed- 
room for  herself,  or  to  some  sleeping  place,  but  the 
question  aroused  all  of  Cum  Sing's  former  belief  in 
her  being  "clazy,"  for  he  eyed  her  suspiciously  and 
answered : 

"Habgotbed." 

"All  right,  John,  then  you  fix  it  up  for  me." 

"No  got  loom,"  said  Cum  Sing  distantly.     "Me 


108  CALABAZAS. 

and  my  bludder  and  my  cousin,  all  sleep  one  bed  in 
kitchen." 

Mrs.  Salsberry  looked  curiously  into  Cuin  Sing's 
vacant  face  for  a  moment,  while  a  shade  of  annoyance 
flitted  over  her  own,  and  said  : 

"  I  no  want  your  bed  ;  you  keep  hotel,  I  want  bed- 
room ;  you  sabee  ?  ' ' 

"Oh!  all  lite,  me  sabee.  Me  keep  g'lub  hotel,  no  keep 
bed  hotel.  Sometime  one  man  come,  him  got  blanket, 
him  sleep  on  flo' ,  me  no  make  him  pay  money.  You 
hab  got  blankets  ?  ' ' 

It  would  not  have  at  all  surprised  Cum  Sing  if  at 
this  moment  Mrs.  Salsberry  had  ordered  him  out,  and 
in  five  minutes  had  recalled  him  to  see  a  full  set  of 
furniture;  but  she  answered  "  No,"  and  followed  by 
asking : 

"  Where  ladies  sleep  in  Calabazas,  John  ?" 

"No  lady  come  Calabas  befo'.  Huldy-gals  she 
sleep  in  huldy  tent ;  sometime  she  fight  and  she  get 
dlunk,  then  she  sleep  in  collel."  (Corral.) 

Cum  Sing's  answer  put  Mrs.  Salsberry  in  a  deep 
study.  After  a  moment  she  said  : 

"John,  you  get  me  blankets,  I  make  bed  in  here. 
You  very  good  man,  and  I  sick;  I  can't  sit  up  all 
night." 

Feeling  flattered,  and  it  being  evident  that  the  lady 
had  no  designs  upon  him,  Cum  Sing's  naturally  good 
heart  softened,  and  he  remarked  : 

"  Me  go  lound  and  see,  maybe  so  can  find  cot." 
With  these  words  he  disappeared. 

The  woman  took  up  Beauty,  tied  a  handkerchief 
around  his  neck,  made  him  sit  up  and  beg,  make  a 


THE   WIDOW.  109 

bow  and  kiss  his  paw  to  her,  which  that  educated 
animal  did  with  so  much  grace  and  perfection  that 
she  gave  him  a  squeeze  and  kiss,  then  a  plate  full  of 
bread  soaked  in  condensed  milk,  which  she  had  laid 
aside  for  him  while  eating  her  own  supper. 

Cum  Sing  meantime  scoured  the  town,  going  to  one 
place  to  borrow  a  cot  for  '  *  welly  lich  lady ; "  to 
another  to  borrow  some  blankets  for  a  '  *  welly  high- 
toned  lady ; ' '  and  a  mattress  was  borrowed  from  the 
store  for  a  "  welly  sick  lady. ' '  Cum  Sing  brought 
them  to  the  private  room  with  great  satisfaction.  He 
placed  the  cot  in  the  room,  extemporised  a  pillow  by 
filling  a  barley  sack  with  hay,  evolved  a  pair  of  sheets 
from  some  spare  cotton  cloth,  and  altogether  made 
quite  an  enticing  bed  for  a  tired  person. 

The  lady  appreciated  his  efforts,  and ' '  Johned ' '  him, 
and  praised  his  supper  and  bed  to  his  heart's  content. 
No  people  are  more  susceptible  to  flattery  than  the 
Chinese,  and  no  people  take  offence  more  quickly  at 
an  imposition  ;  though  they  are  generally  too  polite 
and  tactful  to  let  their  anger  show  itself  very  plainly. 
A  person  used  to  dealing  with  them,  can  always  tell 
when  they  are  displeased  by  a  sickly  smile,  peculiar 
to  that  people,  and  with  which  they  hide  any  excess 
of  feeling  that  they  may  not  consider  it  polite  or 
advisable  to  show.  In  consequence  of  the  lady's  flat- 
tery, Cum  Sing  began  to  have  a  much  better  opinion 
of  her  than  he  had  formed  from  first  impressions. 

He  cleared  the  table,  and  bade  Mrs.  Salsberry  a 
hearty  goodnight ;  telling  her  not  be  "flaid,"  because 
"allee  men  sleeping  in  big  loom  welly  good  men." 
He  then  went  into  the  big  room  and  warned  those 


i  10  CALABAZAS. 

rolled  up  in  their  blankets  not  to  make  any  noise, 
because  there  was  a  "  welly  sick  lady  in  plivate 
loom,"  which  information  was  enough  to  drive  the 
sleep  from  the  eyes  of  those  worthy  gentlemen  until 
almost  daylight. 

As  there  was  no  light  in  the  large  room,  and  there 
was  a  light  in  the  private  room,  fine  silhouettes  of  the 
' '  sick  lady ' '  and  her  movements  were  depicted  upon 
the  cotton  walls  of  said  room.  Of  this  the  lady  was 
no  doubt  unaware,  or  was  too  much  occupied  with 
other  thoughts  to  notice,  for  she  prepared  herself  for 
her  night's  rest  with  the  same  carelessness  that  one 
would  if  surrounded  by  walls  of  triple  steel.  No 
sooner  had  Cum  Sing,  in  mistaken  kindness  for  the 
lady,  warned  them  to  be  quiet,  and  left  the  dining 
room,  than  these  "  welly  good  men,"  who  had  been 
silently  cursing  the  parties  in  the  private  room  for 
not  putting  out  the  light  and  going  about  their  busi- 
ness ;  with  a  unanimity  of  action  really  marvelous, 
stealthily  unrolled  themselves  from  their  blankets, 
supported  their  bodies  on  their  elbows,  and  glued  their 
several  eyes  upon  the  walls  of  that  private  room. 
What  did  they  see  upon  those  walls  ? 

First — the  outlines  of  a  shapely  woman,  whose 
hands  were  hovering  here  and  there  around  her  neck 
and  waist ;  suddenly  ragged  outlines  broke  the  sym- 
metry of  her  bosom  and  waist,  something  was  torn 
away,  and  the  shadow  hands  carried  a  shapeless  bun- 
dle to  the  back  of  a  shadow  chair. 

Next  vie w— the  hands  fumbling  around  the  waist, 
and  something  slowly  wrinkles,  folds,  and  con  volutes 
until  it  reaches  the  floor,  and  there  embanks  itself 


THE   WIDOW.  Ill 

around  the  lady's  feet.  She  steps  from  the  fallen 
drapery,  and  then  every  individual  "welly  good 
man"  sits  bolt  upright,  and  gazes  so  intently  that 
not  even  an  involuntary  wink  is  permitted  to  interrupt 
the  delicious  view,  for  the  shadows  of  a  most  shapely 
pair  of  ankles  and  plump  pair  of  calves  are  sharply 
outlined  on  canvas  as  supporting  the  larger  shadow. 
These  fill  out  and  complete  the  picture,  adding 
piquancy  to  the  deeply  interesting,  entrancing  views, 
and  causing  the  heads  of  the  '  *  welly  good  neni ' ' 
to  swim. 

A  sudden  confusion  of  gymnastically  mixed  up 
shadows,  and  the  fallen  garment  is  placed  upon  a  chair. 
The  rounded  arms  of  the  distracting  silhouette  are 
lifted  high  above  her  head ;  like  a  flash  they  disappear 
leaving  two  knobs  at  the  shoulders  where  they  for- 
merly hung.  As  quickly  do  they  reappear,  tearing 
something  from  the  waist.  A  shapeless  shadow  now 
replaces  the  symmetry  of  the  upper  form.  In  the 
shadow's  hands  something  is  held  at  arms'  length,  it 
looks  like  a  large,  clumsy  hour  glass ;  this  the  hands 
roll  up  and  deposit  on  the  table. 

The  shadow  now  sits  down.  Those  delightful  feet 
are  pushed  under  the  chair  until  the  toe  tips  only  touch 
the  floor ;  the  body  is  doubled  over  the  table  as  of  one 
suffering  from  cramps,  and  the  ever  busy  hands  are 
seen  dabbing  at  something  on  the  table,  and  are  then 
carefully  and  caressingly  passed  over  the  shadow's 
face.  Another  dab  on  the  table,  and  each  arm  is  as 
tenderly  passed  over ;  the  fingers  work  a  few  minutes 
around  the  forehead,  and  a  few  shadowy  warts  take 
the  place  of  the  expansive  and  expressive  bangs  that 


THE  WIDOW.  113 

had  added  beauty  to  the  pictures — but  the  lovely  ex- 
tremities are  still  in  sight.  Again  the  arms  go  high 
above  the  head  and  disappear  as  before  ;  they  reappear 
holding  a  long,  fluffy  something  that  is  slowly  drawn 
through  the  one  closed  hand  by  the  other  several  times, 
and  then  laid  upon  the  table.  A  similarly  fluffy  some- 
thing that  hangs  behind  the  head  suddenly  appears  as 
a  lump  on  the  back  of  the  shadow's  head  ;  a  few  pats 
and  jabs  from  the  shadow's  hands,  and  the  lump  is 
left  to  its  own  devices. 

The  shadow  arises;  its  shapeliness  and  graces  are 
now  confined  to  the  ravishing  shadow  ankles,  and 
calves;  one  of  the  feet  is  raised  and  placed  upon  a 
chair;  the  "welly  good  men  "  forget  to  breathe,  and 
are  dangerously  near  suffocation.  A  few  movements 
of  the  busy  fingers,  and  a  shadowy  shoe  is  held  in 
hand,  examined,  and  laid  on  the  floor.  The  other  foot 
is  raised  to  the  chair;  the  hearts  and  lungs  of  the 
"welly  good  men"  are  swelled  to  bursting  with  sup- 
pressed excitement  and  want  of  breath.  The  stillness 
is  appalling ;  a  feather  dropped  in  the  room  would  re- 
verberate like  a  peal  of  thunder.  The  shadow  fingers 
are  again  busied,  a  shoe  removed,  held,  examined, 
laid  beside  the  first,  and  the  foot  is  lowered  to  the  floor. 
The  "welly  good  men "  persistently  refuse  to  breathe, 
Great  Heavens!  the  muscles  of  their  chests  might 
creak !  they  will  not  even  wink,  for  fear  that  the  clash- 
ing eyebrows  may  disturb  their  charmer.  The  shadow 
now  lifts  a  something  from  the  cot,  and  holds  it  to  her 
face,  rubs  it,  holds  it  at  arms  length,  holds  it  to  her 
face  again,  and  lays  it  on  the  pillow  at  the  head  of  the 
cot;  it  arises,  stretches,  turns  around  once  or  twice, 


114  CAI.ABAZAS. 

and  is  swallowed  up  in  the  larger  shadow  of  the  cot. 

The  shadow's  hands  now  opened  a  shadow  on  the 
table,  took  therefrom  a  very  small  and  compact  shadow, 
which  the  hands  held  in  front  of  her,  and  with  a  shake, 
from  that  bundle  fell  a  long  ruffled  shadow  that 
reached  to  the  floor,  the  hands  gathered  this  in  folds, 
and  again  were  held  high  above  the  head  holding  the 
folded  ruffles ;  a  few  movements  of  the  arms  above, 
followed  by  an  anxiously  watched  twitching  at  the 
waist  by  the  fingers,  and  as  a  flash,  ruffles  were  seen 
to  fall  from  above,  and  the  feet  were  again  embanked 
within  a  wrinkled  shadow  of  something  that  had  at 
the  same  time  fallen  from  the  waist.  The  fascinating 
ankles  had  magically  vanished.  The  shadow  was  now 
the  resemblance  of  an  uninteresting  truncated  sugar 
loaf,  ruffled  at  top  and  bottom,  and  surmounted  by  a 
warty  potato.  The  potato  held  itself  over  the  lamp 
and  darkness  became  visible  in  the  private  room ;  the 
"  welly  good  men, "sphinx-like,  sat  and  gazed  rigidly 
in  the  direction  of  the  lady's  room  until  her  healthy 
snore  broke  the  spell,  and  aroused  them  to  the  fact 
that  all  was  over,  and  then — with  a  regretful  and 
exhaustive  sigh — they  each  lay  down  with  a  whispered 
' '  Well,  I'm— blest!" 

Many  hours  they  devoted  to  inwardly  vowing  that 
during  their  sojourn  in  Calabazas,  from  early  evening 
to  the  morning's  dawn,  would  they  be  found  at  rest 
on  Cum  Sing's  dining-room  floor. 

The  following  morning,  after  the  sleepers  had  gone 
from  the  dining-room,  and  the  apartment  was  being 
prepared  for  the  morning  meals,  Mrs.  Salsberry  aross 
and  arrayed  herself  in  traveling  garb.  Pier  sound 


TI'JK   WIDOW.  i;.j 

night's  rest  had  much  refreshed  her,  and  she  did  full 
justice  to  the  ineal  prepared  and  brought  to  her  by 
Cum  vSing.  She  had  finished  her  ineal  about  as  the 
returning  stage  for  Tucson  drove  up  next  door  at  the 
Custom  House.  She  called  Cum  Sing  to  her,  paid  his 
reasonable  bill,  adding  fifty  cents  as  an  evidence  of 
her  appreciation  of  his  attention ;  placed  herself, 
Beauty,  and  the  hand  satchel  in  the  coach,  and 
departed  in  that  ancient  vehicle  for  Tucson. 

Of  course  the  departure  of  such  a  perfect,  well 
dressed  and  self-contained  lady,  left  a  physical  void 
in  Calabazas,  but  this  was  amply  repaid  by  her  visit 
having  given  the  citizens  something  to  surmise  and 
talk  about,  and  a  wearisome  mental  void  had  been  thus 
filled. 

It  is  said  that  if  you  boil  and  filter  water,  and  leave 
the  uncorked  bottle  containing  it  exposed  to  the  air 
for  a  few  days,  that  the  water  will  be  crowded  with 
living  things.  In  a  like  manner  in  the  dry,  dessicated 
atmosphere  of  Calabazas,  a  stranger's  advent  was  fol- 
lowed quickly  by  a  vague  knowledge  of  the  stranger, 
with  name,  history,  object  in  coming,  and  business 
intentions.  The  rumers  seemed  to  spring  from  the 
air,  and  each  one  retailing  the  stories  claimed  to  have 
heard  them  from  some  one  else.  Therefore  the  lady 
was  not  well  on  her  way  to  Tucson  before  it  was 
reported  that  she  was  a  widow.  That  she  had  come 
from  some  town  in  New  Mexico  to  Tucson ;  that  she 
had  received  five,  ten,  fifteen,  twenty,  thirty  thous- 
and dollars  life  insurance  by  her  husband's  death; 
t:i at  she  intended  erecting  a  commodious  lodging 
house  in  Calabazas,  and  eventually  to  permit  her  body 


Il6  C  A  LA  BAZAS. 

to  petrify — after  death — in  the  alkaline  soil  of   that 
attractive  town. 

Cum  Sing  endorsed  everything  wonderful  connected 
with  these  rumors,  having  lively  recollections  of  the 
mysterious  change  of  appearance  made  while  in  the 
private  room. 

The  "welly  good  men  "  endorsed  all  of  the  flatter- 
ing rumors,  because  nothing  too  good  could  possibly 
be  said  of  a  lady  possessing  such  extremities. 

Crandall  added  to  all  he  heard.  According  to  his 
account  she  was  a  walking  sub-treasury ;  the  wad  of 
green-backs,  from  which  she  had  paid  for  the  lot,  con- 
vinced him  that  all  of  her  angularities  were  rounded 
out  with  a  padding  of  currency.  Her  fine  figure  was 
solely  due  to  cunningly  distributed  wads  of  legal- 
tender  notes;  and,  moreover,  she  was  a  perfect  lady, 
for  she  had  put  on  no  style,  and  had  taken  beer  in 
preference  to  water ;  which  fact  alone  would  have 
established  her  standing  as  a  lady  in  Crandall 's  mind. 
Mrs.  Salsberry  had  staid  but  one  afternoon  and 
night,  and  her  conversation  had  been  solely  upon 
business.  Then  where  did  these  rumors  originate? 
from  the  vernacular  of  Calabazas,  echo  answers, 
'  *  quien  sabe  ?  ' '  The  fertility  of  the  Calabazan  mind 
compensated  for  the  aridity  of  the  soil. 

A  week  passed.  Mrs.  Salsberry  had  been  talked 
over  and  almost  forgotten  by  all  but  the  ' '  welly  good 
men"  and  Crandall,  when  a  freight  wagon  drew  up 
to  her  lot  and  unloaded  thereon  a  quantity  of  furni- 
ture, lumber,  and  several  bundles  of  canvas.  The 
next  morning's  stage  brought  the  lady  and  Beauty. 
In  an  hour  after  her  arrival  she  had  contracted  with 


THK   WIDOW.  117 

carpenters  to  put  up  her  tents,  and  by  nightfall  a  tent 
with  wooden  sides  was  erected,  carpeted,  and  taste- 
fully furnished.  A  curtain  divided  the  tent,  the  front 
portion  of  which  was  to  be  a  reception  room  in  which 
to  receive  her  company.  Handsome  George,  Curly 
Pete,  and  Bottle  Bob  had  proffered  their  services  and 
the  freedom  of  Calabazas,  and  Crandall  had  paid  her 
such  attention  as  she  was  entitled  to  by  reason  of  the 
possession  of  wads  of  greenbacks;  which  attention 
was  his  unremitting  presence  from  the  time  of  her 
arrival  until  dark. 

The  next  day  the  carpenters  were  busily  engaged  in 
mtting  up  the  frame-work  and  laying  the  floor  for  a 
large  wall  tent.  Mrs.  Salsberry  showed  her  self-re- 
liance and  knowledge  of  what  she  wanted,  by  unflinch- 
ingly standing  around  in  the  sun  giving  the  workmen 
directions.  It  was  evident  that  she  was  no  ' '  pilgrim ' ' 
or  (<  tenderfoot,"  which  fact  the  carpenters  soon  found 
out  and  ceased  the  wearisome  flow  of  suggestions  that 
pass  from  mechanic  to  employer.  The  framework 
completed,  its  sides  were  boarded  up,  and  it  was  cov- 
ered with  canvas.  A  glass  door  and  two  windows 
were  framed  into  the  front.  On  either  side  of  the  door 
was  a  room,  carpeted,  and  containing  a  set  of  painted 
furniture.  One  room  being  a  bridal  chamber,  as  it 
were,  and  the  other  for  visiting  capitalists,  etc.,  whose 
great  wealth  would  enable  them  to  pay  the  widow's 
price  for  such  a  sybaritic  apartment. 

Around  the  interior  walls  were  small,  cloth  par- 
titioned, windowless  rooms,  furnished  with  soul  des- 
troying mattresses  and  pillows,  for  those  who  wished 
to  be  profane,  at  a  moderate  cost.  In  the  tent's  center 


Il8  C  A  I,  A  BAZAS. 

wns  a  double  row  of  bunks — called  the  "  corral" — for 
laborers  who  carried  blankets.  The  rooms  had  un- 
painted  doors  fastened  by  complicated  locks,  as  a  pre- 
caution against  burglars;  the  partitions  presumably 
being  proof  against  such  gentry.  The  doors  were 
numbered,  giving  a  genre  appearance  to  the  interior 
that  revived  disagreeable  memories  in  the  minds  of 
those  Calabazans  that  had  served  terms  in  the  various 
penitentiaries. 

None  but  the  two  front  rooms  were  provided  with 
toilet  appliances ;  the  other  lodgers  were  entitled  to 
the  free  and  untrammelled  use  of  the  tin  basins  on  the 
bench  at  the  rear  of  the  tent.  A  piece  of  indurated, 
metamorphosed,  raspy  and  latherless  soap  laid  at  each 
basin  for  those  who  wished  to  rub  the  dirt  into  their 
skins,  and  two  morose  towels,  non-absorbent,  and  with 
an  elasticity  and  polish  equalling  Russia  iron,  were 
provided  to  distribute  the  water  evenly  over  the  face. 
A  bone  comb  and  a  brush,  the  bristles  of  which  wilted 
upon  the  slightest  provocation,  were  securely  held  in 
place  by  dog  chains,  beside  each  towel.  An  '  *  olla ' ' 
supplied  drinking  water — when  not  empty, —  and  a 
barrel  more  or  less — generally  less — full  of  water  stood 
near  for  washing  purposes.  A  saloon  hanger-on 
(named  Jack  t  of  course) ,  was  engaged  as  chambermaid 
and  general  utility  man,  in  consideration  of  the  use  of 
a  corral  bunk  and  an  occasional  twenty- five  cents.  On 
the  front  of  this  addition  to  Calabazan  palaces,  was 
the  legend,  "  Grand  Central  Hotel." 

Handsome  George  and  Curly  Pete,  were,  in  con- 
sideration cf  their  nerve,  hasty  notion,  and  dis- 
tinguished social  standing,  given  the  front  rooms  at  a 


THE   WIDOW.  119 

reduced  rental  provided  that  in  case  of  connubial  com- 
plications being  initiated  between  Calabazas  couples, 
or  when  capitalists,  etc.,  came  to  spy  out  the  land,  they 
were  to  temporarily  resign  those  imperial  apartments ; 
for  as  the  sagacious  Mrs.  Salsberry  remarked,  "A 
widow  must  make  hay  while  the  sun  shines — in  Cala- 
bazas," which  meant  that  she  had  no  conscientious 
scruples  about  despoiling  the  verdant  stranger  within 
her  gates.  Everything  around  her  hotel  was  as  clean 
as  could  be  expected — in  Calabazas.  She  subscribed 
freely  to  local  charities.  She  paid  her  bills  promptly 
and  without  grumbling,  and  was  a  generous  employer 
to  Jack,  who  was  her  most  unselfish  adorer.  She 
dressed  so  stylishly  as  to  be  a  credit  to  the  town,  and 
while  maintaining  her  dignity  conformed,  in  a  measure, 
to  the  social  customs  of  the  place.  Cum  Sing  placed 
a  table  in  the  private  room  for  her  sole  use,  and 
decorated  it  with  his  most  choice  linen  and  table  ware. 
He  had  become  possessed  with  the  idea  that  she  was 
sick,  because  of  her  otherwise  unwarrantable  abstin- 
ence from  the  agitating  Calabazas  bean ;  therefore  he 
supplied  her  with  every  delicacy  of  the  Calabazas  mar- 
ket, which  accounted  for  the  maintained  roundness  of 
her  form  in  spite  of  the  tissue  wasted  by  the  extreme  heat. 
The  rooms  of  the  Grand  Central  were  soon  taken. 
The  ' '  welly  good  men  ' '  hastened  to  engage  rooms; 
Bottle  Bob  had  one  that  he  might  keep  an  eye  on 
George  and  Pete ;  the  store-keeper  rented  one  ' '  to 
encourage  the  lady  ;  ' '  Drinky  improvised  a  private 
inebriate  asylum  from  one ;  and  Crandall  had  one;  for, 
by  all  means,  he  must  keep  in  touch  with  the  lady  of 
multitudinous  wads. 


120  CAI.ABAZAS. 

It  was  soon  found  that  the  ' ' perfect  lady ' '  could 
take  perfect  care  of  herself,  no  assistance  was  required 
from  the  nervy,  hasty-tempered  George  or  Pete,  for 
she  was  equally  nervy  and  hasty.  Grumblers  were 
unceremoniously  ejected ;  for,  as  she  remarked  in  chaste 
and  ungrammatical  terms,  "  I  haven't  any  use  for  a 
-  growl.  Calabazas  aint  Paradise,  and  I  don't 
keep  a  milk  and  honey  boarding  house,  with  a  gold 
harp  for  each  boarder,  and  I  aint  going  to  give  no 
silk  sheets  twice  a  week  to  nobody."  Which 
remarks  were  never  considered  as  having  any  bearing 
on  the  points  in  dispute,  except  as  to  the  first  few 
words.  If  a  drunken  railroad  laborer  was  noisy,  and 
failed  to  heed  her  warning  to  be  quiet,  the  ' '  perfect 
lady  "  soon  had  him  by  the  collar  dragging  him  to 
the  door,  to  his  great  astonishment  and  sobering, 
meanwhile  reiterating  that  she  was  "a  lady,  and  didn't 
care  nothing  for  nobody ."  Should  he  be  belligerent, 
and  refuse  to  be  ejected,  those  soft,  delicate,  flexible 
hands,  with  a  quickness  that  defied  the  eye,  extracted 
a  revolver  from  some  portion  of  her  apparel,  and  that 
weapon  would  emphasize  her  demand  that  he  make 
himself  scarce  "  quicker  an  a  wink,  for  I  am  a  lady, 
and  won't  be  imposed  on  " — and  she  wouldn't  be.  It 
may  be  set  down  as  an  absolute  certainty  that  she 
never  returned  the  ejected  a  cent,  even  if  his  sojourn 
had  been  for  five  minutes  only,  and  she  demanded 
payments  strictly  in  advance. 

After  Drinky  and  Crandall  had  viewed  several  for- 
cible ejectments,  they  seriously  considered  giving  up 
any  marital  attempts  upon  the  wad,  and  signified  that  for 
economical  reasons  solely,  they  might'  in  the  not  remote 


THE   WIDOW.  121 

future  change  their  lodgings.  The  widow  calmly  inti- 
mated that,  being  as  they  were  amongst  her  first 
friends,  she  had  a  warm  feeling  for  them,  therefore 
their  removal  would  be  considered  a  breaking  off  of 
friendly  relations,  and,  with  a  glittering  of  her  black 
eyes,  when  a  friend  threw  off  on  her,  there  was  always 
trouble  and  he  had  no  luck  afterward.  Drinky  and 
Crandall  had  many  serious  talks  over  the  matter,  but 
retained  their  rooms,  with  grievous  twinges  whenever 
they  paid  her  the  precious  money  that  should  go  to 
swelling  their  Mescal  fund. 

The  widow,  as  a  means  to  an  end,  was  inclined  to 
be  social.  The  hurdy-girls  were  very  well,  "but  a 
perfect  lady,"  etc.  Lucky  Smith's  wife  could  spare 
no  time  from  his  accidental  bedside,  so,  perforce,  the 
widow  invited  the  gentlemen  leaders  of  Calabazas 
society  to  spend  occasional  evenings  in  her  private 
tent.  Now  the  education  of  the  higher  classes  of  Cal- 
abazas having  been  neglected,  a  social  evening  was 
devoted  to  drinking  cocktails  ordered  from  George's, 
Pete's,  or  Bob's,  in  proper  sequence  and  without 
favoritism,  in  discussing  the  merits  or  early  death 
of  some  nervy  man  of  hasty  temper  and  slow  action  ; 
or  in  a  game  of  cards,  short  cards  with  stakes ;  it 
would  be  a  fatal  hoodoo  for  a  sport  to  play  cards  for 
mere  pastime.  The  widow  took  her  drinks  in  a  per- 
functory manner,  unstuck-up,  so  to  say.  She  never 
talked  of  the  nervy  men,  for  she  "never  was  in  a 
town  like  Calabazas  before. ' '  Cards — well,  she  would 
play  ;  but,  oh !  dear !  now  really  !  she  just  knew  she 
would  mix  everything. ' ' 

The  storekeeper,  Drinky,  and  Crandall  soon  ceased 


122  CALABAZAS. 

to  attend  their  landlandy's  seances.  It  wearied  them 
exceedingly  to  have  her  timidly  ask,  "What  is  a 
raise  ?  "  or  * '  If  she  could  open  a  jack-pot  with  queens  ?" 
and  after  several  raises  draw  a  card  and  show  down 
three  queens,  or  after  all  three  reaching  at  the  same 
time  for  a  fat  "j  acker,"  to  have  the  widow  say,  "Just 
for  fun,  explain  my  hand ;  what  does  three  tens  and 
two  kings  beat  ? ' '  and  have  to  pass  the  pot  over  to 
her.  The  widow  not  only  had  wonderful  luck,  but  a 
profitable  aptitude  for  "just  by  purest  accident, ' '  keep- 
ing the  proper  cards  and  asking  misleading  questions. 
After  these  avaricious  gentlemen  had  seen  much 
Mescal  money  melt  away  from  their  gaze  and  go  to 
the  widow's  unreachable  wad,  they  sadly  withdrew 
from  her  socials,  for  as  they  said,  "The  widow  played 
her  cards  very  close  to  her  stomach  for  a  novice. ' ' 

George,  Pete  and  Bob  never  faltered  in  their  attend- 
ance. The  widow  exhibited  such  a  nattering  pref- 
erence for  their  company,  that  they  soon  had  the  field 
to  themselves.  'Their  devotion  was  not  absolutely  free 
from  monetary  considerations,  for  each  had  privately 
made  Crandall  repeat  many  times  his  account  of  the 
numberless  wads  of  greenbacks  she  had  exposed  to  his 
gaze ;  besides,  they  could  not  be  deceived  in  the  value 
of  her  personal  adornments  and  Calabazas  investments. 
Nor  could  it  be  denied  that  the  widow  was  plump, 
handsome,  stylish,  and  currently  reported  to  have  a 
well  turned  ankle  and  calf,— something  not  to  be 
despised  as  matrimonial  assets.  The  widow,  when 
questioned  about  her  affairs,  indirectly  of  course, 
smiled  innocently  and  kept  her  own  council;  but 


THK   WIDOW.  123 

somehow  the  questioner  would  be  impressed  that  half 
had  not  been  told  concerning  her  wealth. 

Occasionally  some  middle  aged  capitalist  traveling 
through  Calabazas,  would  be  taken  suddenly  ill — after 
catching  sight  of  the  widow — and  pass  the  next  few 
afternoons,  very  much  to  her  financial  profit,  in  her 
private  tent,  convalescing  and  relieving  his  pain  by 
games  of  cards  or  bottles  of  champagne,  accompanied 
with  much  hilarity  and  many  humorous  and  fetching 
jokes,  all  with  intent  to  ' '  mash ' '  the  widow.  But  the 
correct  widow  would,  at  an  early  evening  hour,  herd 
the  invalid  into  the  larger  tent,  there  to  plan  his  ama- 
tory campaign  for  the  next  day,  while  she,  with  Beauty, 
retired  to  sleep  the  sleep  of  the  virtuous  and  the  wide 
awake.  Such  events  seriously  annoyed  the  three 
admirers,  and  they  would  survey  the  gray  haired  cap- 
italist with  a  griping  scorn,  or  make  caustic  remarks 
about  the  widow  •" playing  his  old  jags  for  a  sucker'* 
or  that  they  ' '  could  hear  his  brains  rattle  when  he 
walked." 

It  gave  the  widow  the  most  exquisite  pleasure  to 
flirt  with  "sporty"  commercial  travelers,  if  (?)  they 
were  at  all  fresh.  One  of  this  gentry — fancy  goods 
line — was  returning  from  a  trip  through  Mexico.  He 
was  absolutely  gorged  with  obtrusive  self  conceit,  and 
with  an  abiding  faith  that  his  conversational  powers 
and  elegance  of  person  were  irresistable  to  the  gentler 
sex.  With  this  particular  gentleman,  the  widow  had 
what  is  popularly  termed  a  " picnic."  She  was  an 
impressive  lady,  who,  as  I  have  said,  estimated  herself 
at  her  full  value,  and  perfectly  understood  human 
nature.  She  never  failed  to  enter  the  Palace  Hotel 


124  CALABAZAS. 

after  the  stage  coach  arrived,  and  always  had  the 
excellent  judgment  to  wait  until  the  guests  were 
seated,  and  the  raw  edge  taken  from  their  appetites, 
then  she  would  float  to  the  private  room,  leaving  the 
new  arrivals  stunned  at  seeing  such  a  marvel  of 
beauty,  style  and  wealth  in  Calabazas.  How  the  little 
beady  eyes  of  this  Drummer  drank  in  the  vision  ;  with 
what  anxiety  did  he  question  Cum  Sing,  while  pretend- 
ing to  give  an  order  to  that  worthy,  smothering  his 
words  with  the  food  shovelled  into  his  gluttonous 
mouth  without  intermission,  and  swallowed  in  lumps. 
"She  keep  G'lan  Cent'al  loom  house  in  Calabas," 
says  Cum  Sing.  Enough.  His  baggage  was  taken 
from  the  coach  and  a  postal  sent  to  his  employer  say- 
ing, ' '  sickness  compels  me  to  lay  over  a  couple  of 
days,  but  I  expect  to  do  some  business." 

He  lounged  around  the  town  for  an  hour,  and  then 
started  for  his  real  objective  point — The  Grand  Cen- 
tral Hotel.  As  he  strolled  along  he  took  his  dicer  hat 
off  and  brushed  it  with  his  sleeve.  Moistening 
his  finger  with  spittle,  he  arranged  a  cute  little  bang. 
He  ran  a  comb  through  his  moustache  and  twisted  the 
ends  to  a  fascinating  curve,  polished  the  glass  ame- 
thyst ring  that  almost  hid  one  finger,  rubbed  up  the 
cluster  of  Alaska  diamonds  that  ornamented  his  shirt 
front,  fillipped  the  specks  from  his  vest  and  coat  lap- 
pels,  flirted  the  dust  from  his  shoes,  discovered  a  black 
silk  handkerchief  in  an  obscure  pocket  and  put  it  in 
the  side  pocket  of  his  cutaway  coat,  permitting  the 
corner  to  project,  showing  a  complicated  monogram 
of  red  silk,  ran  the  soiled  handkerchief  over  the  mas- 
sive, rolled  gold  locket  and  chain  that  hung  across  his 


THE;  WIDOW.  125 

vest,  at  one  end  of  which  was  a  Waterbury  watch, 
and  at  the  other  a  cigar  cutter,  viewed  himself  in  a 
small  advertising  mirror  about  the  size  of  a  silver 
dollar,  shoved  his  hat  on  the  back  of  his  head,  and 
slightly  to  one  side,  rakiskly  exposing  the  killing 
bangs,  inserted  the  unringed  hand  into  the  hip  pocket 
— a  dangerous  practice  in  Calabazas — and  reached  the 
Grand  Central  before  he  had  found  time  to  clean 
his  finger  nails.  It  is  an  extraordinary  thing  that 
these  gentlemen  never  have  time  to  clean  the  dirt  from 
their  finger  nails.  Do  they  keep  their  fingers  in 
mourning  for  lost  opportunities  ?  Is  it  the  sacred  soil 
of  Syria,  that  they  value  it  so  highly?  or  is  it  because 
they  are  determined  never  to  lose  any  of  the  earth 
that  is  once  in  their  possession  ?  This  is  an  interest- 
ing problem,  and  should  be  the  subject  of  ethnological 
research. 

Our  Drummer  reached  the  door,  a  rap  brought  Jack, 
who  slowly  eyed  him  from  head  to  foot. 

' '  Any  private  room  ?  ' ' 

"Idunno." 

4 'Can  I  see  the  lady?" 

"Is'poseso,  I'll  call  her." 

The  Palace  Hotel  vision  presented  herself.  The 
beady  eyes  glistened  and  the  perspiration  broke  from 
the  Judaic  forehead. 

"  I  want  a  private  room,  the  best  you  have."  (This 
in  a  devil  may  care  manner.) 

"Please  step  in,  sir,"  (showing  him  the  bridal 
chamber)  "  how  will  this  room  suit?  " 

"  Is  this  your  best  room  ?  ' ' 

"  Why,  this  is  the  best  room  south  of  Tucson." 


126  CAI.ABAZAS. 

(Pompously.)  "Well,  I'll  take  it.  How  much  per 
night  ? ' '  (They  always  say  per.) 

"Two  dollars  and  a-half,  please,  in  advance." 
"  All  right,  I'll  take  it,"  (in  depressed  tones.) 
While  the  widow  smoothed  the  bed  and  raised  the 
curtain,  our  friend  removed  his  coat,  revealing  his 
gorgeously  flowered  silk  suspenders,  and  engaged 
himself  in  a  conversation  (tastefully  decorated  with  the 
most  killing  smirks  and  glances)  on  the  weather,  the 
heat,  and  the  tremendous  business  he  had  done  on 
his  trip,  of  how  he  had  ' '  played  ' '  two  fellow  drum- 
mers by  stealing  their  advance  cards,  and  calling  on 
their  customers ;  of  how  glad  he  was  to  be  away  from 
the  fashionable  whirl  of  San  Francisco,  where  he  is  in 
constant  demand  on  account  of  his  many  accomplish- 
ments ;  of  how  he  is  going  into  business  wrhen  his 
brother  collects  some  fire  insurance  ;  of  the  brilliant 
offers  he  had  refused  from  rivals  of  the  firm  he  conde- 
scended to  travel  for  ;  of  what  a  time  he  had  to  get 
away  from  a  certain  star  actress.  ' '  How  do  you  exist 
in  Calabazas  ?  Are  there  any  theaters  or  balls  ?  any 
clubs,  etc.?  No?" 

Mrs.  Salsberry  listened  and  dusted  the  chairs  while 
the  Drummer  talked.  How  well,  how  very  well  that 
lady  knew  him,  though  a  stranger.  With  a  timely 
smile  to  show  her  perfect  teeth,  a  position  in  just  the 
right  light,  a  graceful  posture  to  smooth  a  pillow,  and 
.she  had  the  fellow  hooked  ready  to  land.  She  knew 
it,  but  in  his  inordinate  vanity,  he  imagined  the  hook 
to  be  in  her  mouth.  He  examined  the  soap — Castile — 
didn't  she  have  Belle-fleur?  Had  she  no  Turkish 
towels  ?  Were  the  sheets  perfectly  clean  ?  He  must 


THK   WIDOW.  127 

have  ice  water,  etc. ,  etc.  (Put  one  in  Heaven  and  he 
would  object  to  the  creaking  of  the  gate.)  The 
widow,  saying  that  he  had  the  best  she  could  supply, 
departed  with  two  and  a  half  dollars  in  hand  and 
— prospects. 

He  examined  the  bed,  punched  the  mattress,  looked 
under  the  pillows,  and  examined  the  wash  stand  and 
bureau  drawers  for  possible  letters  or  forgotten  valu- 
ables left  by  former  occupants  of  the  room.  He  drew 
two  pictures  of  flash  actresses  from  his  gripsack,  with 
dedications  written  by  himself  to  himself — and  leaned 
them  against  the  mirror.  An  imitation  Russia  leather 
travelling  case,  displaying  a  bewildering  array  of  toilet 
samples  with  imitation  ivory  handles,  was  placed  on 
the  bureau.  With  a  self-satisfied  air  he  then  hung 
his  hat  on  the  back  of  his  head,  put  on  his  coat,  and 
strolled  around,  looking  into  the  rooms  under  a  pre- 
tence of  looking  for  the  landlady,  but  really,  to  possibly 
catch  a  female  occupant  unawares.  He  finally  wan- 
dered through  the  back  door  and  saw  the  beautiful 
widow  sitting  in  her  private  tent,  sewing.  He  ad- 
vanced, leaned  against  her  door  jamb,  twisted  his 
irresistible  moustache,  and  remarked  : 

"Awful  dead  town.  Can  I  come  in  here  and  write  ? 
I  won't  get  in  your  way." 

"Bring  your  things  right  in,  Calabazas  is  dull," 
answered  the  widow  brightly. 

'  He  hurried  in  his  materials,  ostentatiously  spread 
out  his  books  and  papers  on  the  table,  and  began  his 
siege  of  the  widow's  heart  by  chipperly  asking: 

"Do  you  object  to  smoking? " 

"  Certainly  not !  I  love  the  smell  of  a  good  cigar. ' ' 


128  C  A  LA  BAZAS. 

Out  came  an  imitation  tortoise-shell  cigar  case,  from 
which  he  took  a  cigar — Havana,  a  Drummer  smokes 
no  other.  A  rolled  gold  matchbox,  elaborately 
stamped,  and  studded  with  Alaska  diamonds,  was 
next  produced,  a  wax  taper  was  extracted  and 
his  cigar  was  lighted,  and  while,  with  fascinating 
recitals,  in  which  he  was  the  hero,  and  playful  badin- 
age, he  amused  the  widow,  the  fumes  of  his  cigar 
spread  like  a  poisonous  pall  over  the  city  of  Calabazas. 
The  smoke  of  this  choice  cigar  was  smelt  in  Nogales 
ten  miles  distant  by  Pete-the-rancher — but  the  wind 
favored  him. 

By  supper  time  he  had  fully  informed  the  widow  of 
all  the  reckless  expenditures,  dissipations,  and  amatory 
conquests  that  had  "blazeed"  him,  but  had  written  no 
letters.  She  had  met  his  advances  with  composure, 
and  graciously  accepted  his  invitation  to  dine,  for  she 
"felt  as  if  she  had  known  him  for  years."  After 
drinking  a  bottle  of  champagne  as  an  appetizer,  they 
adjourned  to  the  private  room  of  the  Palace  for  dinner, 
where,  during  the  meal  he  was  so  fastidious,  and  bul- 
dozed  Cum  Sing  so  very  much  to  that  gentleman's 
disgust  and  displeasure,  as  to  again  create  a  suspicion 
in  his  mind  that  after  all  "Miss  Sallis  Bellee  clazy, 
maybe  so  she  going  get  mallied." 

After  dinner  the  widow  invited  the  Drummer  to 
spend  the  evening  at  her  tent.  The  astute  lady  also 
privately  sent  Jack  to  tell  Drinky  ' '  to  come  and  see 
my  canary  bird."  With  many  misgivings  he  put  in 
his  appearance,  and  was  impressively  introduced  as 
*  *  the  United  States  Officer  in  charge  of  the  Calabazas 
Custom  House."  The  two  were  as  brothers  immedi- 


THE   WIDOW.  129 

ately.  Drinky  thought,  "I  can  borrow;"  the 
Drummer  thought,  "I  can  smuggle."  After  a  con- 
versation, confined  to  the  Drummer,  about  his  jewelry, 
each  piece  of  which  was  a  token  of  unrequited  female 
affection,  and  his  exceeding  business  astuteness,  illus- 
trated by  many  anecdotes,  cards  were  mentioned — 
they  always  are  by  drummers.  He  knew  a  few  card 
tricks, — oh !  how  the  widow  would  like  to  see  them. 
Jack  was  dispatched  with  fifty  cents — of  the  Drummer's 
money —  for  cards ;  the  waiting  interval  being  filled 
with  descriptive  tales  of  the  money  won  by  him  on  the 
tricks,  and  of  how  his  dexterity  in  performing  the 
same  had  put  a  professional  magician  to  shame  at  an 
exhibition  before  the  Palestine  Club,  of  which  he  is 
a  valued  member. 

Jack  brought  the  cards,  and  many  tricks  were  per- 
formed with  commendable  skill — these  fellows  handle 
cards  well  in  this  way,  but  are  too  greedy  to  be  suc- 
cessful gamblers.  Having  shown  the  tricks,  the 
Drummer  suggested  a  game  of  cards — they  always 
will.  Nothing  but  poker  would  do,  there  were  too 
many  or  not  enough  persons  for  other  games.  The 
widow  was  willing,  but  didn't  understand  poker,  and 
didn't  care  to  play  for  stakes.  Drinky  was  willing,  but 
his  funds  were  at  the  Custom  House  (?),  and  he 
couldn't  play  for  stakes,  so  they  concluded  to  play  for 
beans.  It  was  absolutely  necessary  that  the  Drum- 
mer should  sit  next  to  the  widow  to  instruct  her. 
Thirty  minutes  passed,  enlivened  only  by  a  cham- 
pagne cocktail — at  the  Drummer's  expense — and  the 
game  languished,  for  the  Drummer  had  won  all  of  the 
beans.  He  now  proposed  small  stakes,  a  nominal 


130  CALABAZAS. 

ante  and  a  limited  raise,  just  to  make  the  game  inter- 
esting. Drinky  objected,  funds  in  safe — Custom 
House — book-keeper — keys,  etc.  The  Drummer  of- 
fered to  lend  him  the  amount  needed  to  come  in  the 
game.  His  utter  disregard  of  money  would  no  doubt 
impress  the  charming  widow  favorably.  He  had  a 
premonition  also  that  Drinky  and  he  would  depart 
together. 

Poker  chips  were  sent  for,  and  the  new  game  was 
soon  in  full  blast,  with  the  usual  poker  accompani- 
ments of  cigars,  cocktails,  anecdote  and  reminiscence 
— all  furnished  by  the  Drummer.  The  widow  won 
many  pots,  Drinky  won  many  pots,  and  the  Drum- 
mer won  but  few  pots.  No  great  sum  was  in- 
volved, but  the  Drummer  devoted  more  time  to 
his  cards  and  less  to  anecdote  and  flattery  ;  the  small 
stakes  rendered  the  game  uninteresting  to  the  loser. 
The  Drummer  proposed  a  higher  ante  and  limit — they 
always  will  when  losing.  The  widow  modestly  pulled 
out  a  well-filled  purse,  sufficient  to  cause  his  eyes  to 
bulge  with  intense  longing.  Drinky  borrowed  more 
money  from  him,  and  the  game  started  anew  and  in 
deadly  silence.  Cocktails  became  fewer.  The  widow 
filled  bob-tailed  flushes,  fours,  fulls  and  straight  flushes 
in  a  miraculous  manner,  which  if  continued  would 
leave  her  admirer  nothing  on  the  earth  of  the  earth, 
but  what  was  under  his  finger  nails — a  quantity  truly, 
but  not  quite  a  farm. 

The  numerous  cocktails,  added  to  the  Mescal  taken 
before  being  invited  to  the  widow's,  together  with  his 
knowledge  of  the  hopelessness  of  contending  with  that 
ravishing  lady,  when  she  played  them  from  close  to 


THE   WIDOW.  131 

her  face,  as  well  as  the  fact  that  he  knew  what  money 
the  Drummer  had  advanced  him  was  as  absolutely  lost 
to  the  said  gentleman  as  were  the  various  sized  pots 
won  by  the  widow ;  all  served  to  render  Drinky 
nervous  and  hasty.  Now  this  frame  of  mind  may  be 
good  for  a  gun-fighter,  but  it  means  ultimate  poverty 
to  the  poker  player;  consequentiy,  when  he  was  not 
losing  to  the  unruffled  widow  he  was  letting  the  Drum- 
mer win  some  of  his  own  money  back.  The  Drummer 
soon  noticed  that  when  Drinky  made  a  bet,  the  widow 
was  called  out  by  Jack,  or  neglected  to  see  a  raise,  and 
was  barred  out  to  her  advantage. 

As  the  Drummer's  rare  winnings  from  Drinky  were 
overwhelmed  by  his  losses  to  the  fair  widow,  all  ideas 
of  love  and  mashing  vanished  from  his  bosom;  by 
some  secret  sympathy,  as  his  dollars  disappeared  from 
his  pocket  the  perspiration  appeared  on  his  forehead. 
The  faster  the  dollars  the  more  profuse  the  sweat, 
until  he  bade  fair  to  vanish  in  a  mist  when 
his  last  dollar  should  have  been  staked  and 
lost.  He  tore  up  the  cards  and  ordered  a  new 
pack.  The  widow  generously  ordered,  as  winner, 
and  in  commemoration  of  her  luck,  fresh  cocktails. 
The  Drummer  related  no  more  reminiscences  ;  to  the 
contrary,  he  did  not  wish  to  listen  to  any;  poker 
should  be  played  quietly — the  loser  hates  any  talk  or 
disturbance.  He  began  speaking  abruptly  to  Drinky, 
and  to  tell  him  the  value  of  cards  and  the  art  of  betting, 
or  to  call  on  him  shortly  to  bet  his  hand  or  lay  it  down. 
He  had  quit  posting  the  widow,  her  luck  was  too 
phenomenal.  He  suspiciously  rubbed  the  cards  to 
detect  punctures  or  thumb  nail  marks,  and  glowed 


132  CALABAZAS. 

malevolently  at  the  widow.  He  lost  exasperatingly, 
the  widow  won  smilingly,  and  Drinky  borrowed 
complacently. 

The  widow  sent  for  more  cocktails,  and  the  Drum- 
mer for  new  cards,  and  then  proposed  "jackpots,"  the 
last  refuge  and  hope  a  Drummer  has  in  a  poker  game. 
As  a  winner  the  lady  was  agreeable  ;  as  a  borrower 
Drinky  was  indifferent,  and  the  jack -pot  loomed  up 
in  noble  proportions.  The  limit  was  enlarged,  but 
the  size  of  the  ante  was  kept  inviolate,  the  Drummer 
was  permitted  to  loosen  his  collar  and  necktie,  and 
unbutton  his  vest,  also  to  put  on  his  hat  and  pull  it 
down  over  his  eyes.  He  changed  chairs  with  Drinky, 
and  intensified  this  exorcism  of  the  hoodoo  by  walking 
around  the  chair  three  times  before  seating  himself 
and  continuing  the  game.  Drinky  had  exhausted  his 
credit  with  the  Drummer,  and  borrowed  from  the 
"Kitty."  A  few  more  jack-pots — of  which  he  felt 
sure  of  winning — was  sufficient  to  exhaust  the  Drum- 
mer's cash,  and  he  borrowed  from  the  widow  until  he 
could  send  to  Tucson  for  "coin" — they  never  say 
money. 

The  game  slackened.  Drinky  had  borrowed  the 
whole  ' '  Kitty. ' '  The  widow  steadily  refused  to  see  a 
raise,  and  the  Drummer  could  only  win  the  ante — 
value  ten  cents.  Unremitting  play  with  unvarying 
winnings  for  his  allotted  span  of  life  would  not '  *  even  ' ' 
him  up  at  such  a  rate,  and  the  game  died  of  exhaus- 
tion .  Another  series  of  cocktails — the  widow '  s  treat — 
was  sent  for,  and  Jack  detailed  the  glorious  campaign 
to  George:  While  waiting,  the  poker  party  discussed 
the  game,  the  widow's  luck,  Drinky 's  lack  of  judg- 


THE    WIDOW.  133 

ment,  and  the  Drummer's  expert  playing,  but  dis- 
astrous fortune.  The  winnings  and  losses  were  talked 
over — they  always  are — the  Drummer  doubled  his 
losses  in  the  telling.  Drinky  couldn't  double  his,  for 
the  Drummer  knew  exactly  what  he  had  loaned  him. 
The  widow  was  just  "even"  after  paying  for  the 
cocktails — the  winners  are  never  more  than  this.  All 
the  money  had  taken  wings  and  vanished  into  thin  air 
—it  always  does  in  a  poker  game.  The  widow  for- 
gave all  bets  due  from  the  table — the  winners  seldom 
do  this.  The  parting  cocktails  were  drank ;  she 
thanked  the  gentlemen  for  their  company,  and  hoped 
they  had  spent  a  pleasant  evening,  and  that  the  Drum- 
mer would  always  call  on  her  when  he  visited  Cala- 
bazas.  The  Drummer  requested  to  be  called  early,  as 
he  had  transacted  his  Calabazas  business,  and,  bidding 
the  delightful  widow  good  night,  they  took  their 
leave. 

Drinky  made  a  most  particular  and  exact  appoint- 
ment with  the  Drummer  to  meet  him  at  nine  o'clock 
breakfast — to  the  minute — when  he  would  return  loans, 
shook  that  gentleman's  hand  with  such  a  preternatural 
fervor  that  his  arm  was  almost  dislocated,  and  then  re- 
tired to  his  bunk,  and  was  asleep  in  five  minutes.  The 
Drummer,  after  first  writing  to  his  employers  that, 
"  Having  found afine  physician  in  Calabazas,  he  was 
convalescent,  and  would  be  on  his  travels  the  following 
morning, ' '  removed  his  coat,  lit  a  fresh  cigar,  and  took 
out  a  business  card.  He  sat  upon  the  edge  of  the  bed 
—a  defeated  poker  player  always  sits  there  to  figure  up 
his  losses — and  made  memoranda  on  the  back  of  the 
card  as  follows : — 


1 34  CALABAZAS. 

Disbursements : 
Item       Drinkwatcr,  cash         $50,  secured  by  note. 

Cocktails  &  Cigars,         5.00 

Cards,  3.0x3 

Sundries,  90.00 

Dinner,  6.00 

Assets : 
Item       Nickel  Watch,  $2.50 

Corkscrew,  .25 

Pinchbeck  jewelry,         5.00 

Cash,  none 

Drinkwater's  note        $100.00 

(for  loaned  money  and  bets) 

He  rubbed  his  head  and  eyes,  admired  his  nose  and 
moustache  in  the  glass,  squeezed  the  blackheads  from 
his  chin,  put  out  the  light,  and  for  hours  laid  wonder- 
ing if  he  really  was  a  jay,  or  had  been  played  for  a 
sucker.  Of  how  he  was  going  to  get  away  from  Cala- 
bazas.  Of  why  he  had  stopped  there  at  all.  Until 
presently  his  mind  was  calmed  by  a  hope  of  soon 
meeting  a  sucker  to  fleece — a  hope  that  springs  eternal 
in  the  Hebraic  Drummer's  breast,  and  serves  to  soothe 
him  after  poker  losses.  A  knowledge  that  Drinkwater 
was  indebted  to  him  for  cne  hundred  dollars,  which 
was  as  good  as  cash  in  hand  (?) ,  also  tended  to  calm 
his  mind  ;  and  he  fell  into  as  sweet  a  sleep  as  his  aro- 
matic breath  would  permit. 

With  the  morning's  dawn,  Drinky  was  up.  No 
dressing  was  required,  for  he  never  undressed.  A 
sprinkle  of  water  from  the  basin,  spread  over  his  face 
by  the  polished  roller  towel,  a  rake  off  with  the  bone 
comb,  and  his  morning  toilet  was  complete.  Although 


THE  WIDOW.  135 

he  invariably  retired  late,  he  was  an  early  riser, 
because  abdominal  and  stomachic  symptoms  warned 
him  that  it  was  the  early  riser  that  allayed  such  pangs 
with  the  bracing  cocktail,  or  alleviating  Mescal. 
Strolling  into  the  Golden  Fleece,  he  shook  dice  with 
George  for  the  drinks.  If  he  had  lost — but  he  won, 
and  solaced  his  pangs.  Crandall,  who  was  an  early 
riser,  for  frontier  reasons  also,  dropped  in  and  was 
invited  to  join,  which  he  did  without  wasting  time  in 
preliminary  refusals. 

Having  refreshed  themselves,  Drinky  told  Crandall 
the  details  of  last  night's  poker  game,  as  they 
walked  to  the  Custom  House.  Reaching  there,  the 
former  lost  no  time  in  going  to  the  corral  and  saddling 
his  horse  ;  he  then  mounted,  and  requested  Crandall 
to  send  him  word  by  the  down  stage  to  Pete's-the- 
rancher  when  the  Drummer  departed.  "  Just  tell  the 
driver  to  say,  Crandall  wants  you,  and  I  will  know 
it's  all  right."  Crandall  exhibited  no  surprise  at  the 
request,  for  these  friendly  offices  they  often  did  for 
each  other  in  times  of  stress,  hence  no  tedious  explana- 
tion was  needed.  To  others,  Drinky  said  that  he  was 
on  his  way  to  the  Line  to  intercept  smugglers,  who 
were  expected  to  cross,  and  couldn't  say  when  he 
would  return. 

Two  hours  before  the  stage  was  due,  the  Drummer 
arose,  dressed,  packed  away  his  pictures  of  languish- 
ing actresses,  and  prepared  his  baggage  for  leaving; 
he  did  not  pay  any  morning  respects  to  his  hostess, 
but  rather  avoided  her  charming  and  expensive  pres- 
ence ;  an  absinthe  cocktail  steadied  his  nerves,  and 
prepared  him  for  breakfast. 


136  CALABAZAS. 

At  nine  o'clock  he  seated  himself  in  the  Palace 
Hotel,  after  first  gathering  up  all  the  late  papers,  one 
of  which  he  laid  on  the  table  to  read,  and  the  others 
he  sat  on  in  case  he  should  want  them.  He  was 
somewhat  surprised  n'ot  to  see  Dririky  at  the  appointed 
hour — though  his  failure  to  be  present  would  have 
surprised  no  one  else  in  Calabazas.  Calabazas  would 
have  been  surprised  yet  had  he  been  there.  He  read 
until  his  breakfast  was  brought,  and  then  folded  the 
paper  and  sat  upon  it  until  he  had  eaten. 

Breakfast  was  finished  leisurely,  and  no  Drinky. 
The  stage  would  soon  be  due  and  no  time  was  to  be 
lost.  Drinky,  no  doubt,  being  overwhelmed  with 
government  duties,  had  forgotten  the  engagement  and 
trivial  debt.  Calling  at  the  Custom  House,  the  Drum- 
mer found  Crandall  its  only  occupant,  and  he,  in 
answer  to  the  Drummer's  inquiries,  informed  him 
that  Drinky  had  gone  to  the  Line  that  morning 
intercept  smugglers. 

"When  will  he  return?" 

"  Couldn't  say,  it  might  be  a  week." 

"  Where  would  he  find  him  at  the  Line  ?  " 

"I  don't  know,  the  Line's  several  hundred  miles 
long." 

The  Drummer  looked  around,  and  seeing  no  safe,  said: 

"Well,  Mr.  Drinkwater  promised  me  some  money 
he  owes  me,  and  would  have  given  it  to  me  last  night, 
but  hadn't  the  keys  of  the  safe. ' ' 

Crandall  was  astonished,  of  course,  that  Drinky 
should  owe  money. 

"Yes,  I  had  the  keys,  but  gave  them  to  Mr. 
Drinkwater  this  morning. ' ' 


THE   WIDOW.  137 

The  Drummer  was  now  getting  nervous. 

"  Well  I  have  his  note,  is  it  good?" 

"  I  consider  it  so,"  said  Crandall. 

"  Would  you  cash  it  for  ninety-five  dollars?" 

"I  would,  but  my  money  is  in  the  safe  also." 

4 'Where  is  the  safe?" 

"The  safe!  oh  yes!  that's  in  the  saloon  below. 
This  upper  floor  is  too  weak  to  hold  it. ' ' 

"Well,"  said  the  desperate  Drummer,  "Take  it 
for  ninety  dollars." 

"I  hav'nt  the  money  about  me." 

"For  eighty!  seventy!  sixty!  fifty!"  (excitedly) 
"  well,  forty  dollars  !  don't  say  a  word  !  you  can  for- 
ward twenty  more  when  he  pays,  and  call  it  square." 

"  Impossible,  my  money  is  locked  in  the  safe." 

"  Gan't  you  borrow  enough?" 

"/make  it  a  practice  never  to  borrow.'* 

The  Drummer  began  perspiring.  God  of  Abraham 
and  Moses !  had  he  been  mulcted  by  a  gentile  ?  had 
the  Amalekite  possessed  himself  of  Israel's  shoes? 
The  stage  came  in  and  he  helplessly  saw  it  go  out. 
He  damned  Drink  water  anatomically  and  specifically. 
He  cursed  the  widow  and  the  Calabazans  root  and 
branch,  progenitors  and  descendants,  their  asses,  their 
maid  servants  and  their  man  servants.  The  down 
stage  carried  no  message  to  Drinky  from  Crandall. 

The  Drummer  started  on  a  weary  round  to  get 
Drinky 's  note  discounted.  All  assured  him  that 
Drinky  was  "  all  right,"  and  would  pay  the  note  on 
his  return,  but  this  was  in  accordance  with  the  Cala- 
bazan  esprit  de  corps.  He  could  not  raise  the  ridicu- 
lous amount  of  ten  dollars  upon  the  note,  not  five,  not 


138  CALABAZAS. 

one,  not  a  cent !  All  were  willing,  but  there  was  a 
dearth  of  ready  cash,  and  plethora  of  locked  safes,  with 
keys  in  the  hands  of  absent  custodians.  In  his 
desperation  he  tried  to  pawn  his  samples — he  could  not 
even  do  that.  Some  offered  to  buy  them,  but  to  sell 
them  would  be  skating  over  the  legal  safety  line, 
which  the  cautious  fellow  would  not  do.  As  a  last 
resource,  he  humbly  called  upon  the  widow  and 
set  forth  his  difficulties ;  she  kindly  advanced  him 
five  dollars  and  a  night  in  the  bridal  chamber  on 
Drinky's  valuable  autograph,  and  the  next  day  he 
departed,  neither  a  wriser  nor  a  better  man.  After 
waiting  a  reasonable  time,  the  widow  handed  Drinky 
his  note,  in  consideration  often  dollars  and — prospects. 
The  widow's  having  guile,  energy,  and  "luck," 
diurnal  additions  were  consequently  made  to  the  wad. 
George,  Bob  and  Pete  continued  to  patronize  her,  and 
furnished  their  company  and  liquid  refreshments  free. 
She  treated  the  three  gentlemen  writh  equal  urbanity, 
accepted  their  various  gifts  with  equal  disingenuous- 
ness  ;  and  pocketed  their  poker  losses  with  equal 
exclamations  over  her  good  luck.  She  often  dined 
with  one  or  the  other  of  them,  and  though  each  of  the 
three  men  chivalrously  gave  the  other  every  oppor- 
tunity, it  was  noticed  that  they  were  not  on  such 
familiar  terms  as  before.  Of  course  they  visited  each 
other's  saloons,  and  George'd,  Pete'd  and  Bob'd  each 
other,  but  still  there  was  a  something.  Each  would 
tell  his  intimate  friends  that  the  widow  was  "playing" 
the  others  sure,  or  that  if  George,  or  Pete,  or  Bob 
were  "  trying  to  play  the  widow  they  would  get  left." 


TIM-;  WIDOW.  139 

But  who  could  "play"  that  versatile  and  handsome 
woman  ?  The  man  never  lived. 

The  widow  had  lived  in  Calabazas  about  six  months, 
and  herself,  her  admirers,  her  eccentricities  and  her 
business  had  ceased  to  excite  gossip  or  remark ,  when 
Calabazan  curiosity  was  again  aroused  by  a  newly 
covered,  brightly  painted,  light  wagon,  drawn  by  a 
stylish  horse,  being  halted  at  the  Grand  Central.  The 
driver  wras  a  middle  aged  man,  having  iron-gray  hair, 
bushy,  overhanging  eyebrows,  a  close,  firmly  set  mouth, 
and  a  generally  austere  countenance.  From  his  ap- 
pearance he  was  judged  to  be  a  cattle  buyer,  and  when 
the  widow  came  to  the  door,  she  greeted  the  newcomer 
as  if  having  met  him  before.  After  speaking  a  few 
words  to  her,  he  unloaded  a  quantity  of  baggage,  sent 
the  horse  and  wagon  to  the  Custom  House  corral,  and 
domiciled  himself  in  the  bridal  chamber. 

Mr.  Mitchell — the  newcomer — it  developed,  intended 
remaining  with  us.  He  did  not  appear  to  know  any  one 
but  the  widow,  and  made  no  effort  to  make  acquaint- 
ances. He  spent  a  short  time  daily  in  close  converse 
with  her,  but  as  her  tent  door  remained  open,  gossip 
was  stilled,  and  they  were  considered  by  Calabazans  as 
only  keeping  up  an  old  acquaintanceship  during  his 
stay.  Mr.  Mitchell's  conversation  being  limited  to 
his  wants,  and  his  looks  repelling  the  slightest  ap- 
proach to  familiarity,  his  provoking  reticence  con- 
cerning his  past,  present,  or  future,  caused  a  deep  and 
burdensome  vexation  to  society.  But  as  he  put  on  no 
airs,  patronized  the  bars  impartially,  and  gambled  a 
little,  he  was  well  spoken  of,  and  went  his  way  un- 
questioned— which  he  would  have  done  anyway. 


140  CAI^BAZAS. 

George,  Pete  and  Bob  at  first  thought  that  the  widow 
might  have  formerly  had  some  complications  with  the 
gentleman,  which  so  depressed  their  spirits  that  they 
swallowed  numberless  cocktails,  and  were  absent 
minded  and  of  hastier  action  than  usual,  until  the 
observant  widow  relieved  their  anxiety  by  introduc- 
ing them  to  Mr.  Mitchell,  and  explained  that  she  had 
met  him  in  Tucson  while  visiting  that  city,  and  that, 
having  come  to  Calabazas,  he  could  do  no  less  than 
patronize  her  hotel.  As  she  neither  walked,  dined, 
nor  played  cards  with  her  lodger,  the  three  swains 
brightened  up,  and  things  went  on  as  before. 

Two  weeks  after  Mr.  Mitchell's  arrival,  the  town 
was  again  all  excitement ;  the  Grand  Central  was 
being  decorated  profusely  with  Chinese  lanterns. 
Baskets  of  champagne,  and  cigars  galore  were  left  at 
the  widow's  by  the  Tucson  stage,  and  invitations  were 
issued  to  the  elite  of  Calabazas  society  to  attend  a 
4 '  surprise  party  ' '  at  her  tent.  Tables  were  to  be  pro- 
vided for  whist,  and  no  gambling  was  to  be  permitted 
except  fifty  cents  a  corner  at  the  whist  table.  The 
town  was  agonizingly  agog  over  this  unusual  break 
of  the  widow's,  and  she  was  to  set  it  far  more  agog 
shortly. 

The  whist  party  came  off  in  great  style,  and  it  was 
long  after  midnight  before  it  broke  up,  excepting  that 
Bottle  Bob  withdrew  at  about  one  o'clock  A.  M.,  and 
had  been  seen  riding  rapidly  toward  Tucson.  Just 
two  hours  afterward  the  covered  wagon,  apparently 
loaded,  and  the  stylish  horse  driven  by  the  widow, 
could  have  been  seen  going  leisurely  toward  Tucson. 
An  hour  and  thirty  minutes  later  Curly  Pete  might 


THK    WIDOW.  141 

have  been  seen  riding  at  headlong  speed  towards  Tuc- 
son. At  ten  A.  M.  Handsome  George  was  a  passen- 
ger on  the  coach  for  Tucson.  So,  in  a  few  hours, 
four  of  the  society  leaders  of  Calabazas  had  started  on 
mysterious  journeys  to  Tucson.  George's,  Pete's, 
and  Bob's  barkeepers  said  they  had  gone  to  Tuc- 
son to  purchase  goods.  Jack  said  the  widow  had  gone 
to  Tucson  on  a  visit,  and  had  taken  the  cool  of  the 
morning  to  avoid  the  heat  of  the  day.  Mr.  Mitchell 
made  no  remarks,  but  took  possesion  of  the  widow's 
tent,  informed  Jack  that  he  was  to  take  orders  from 
him  in  the  future  ;  took  a  cocktail  and  breakfast  him- 
self, and  went  about  his  silent  busines  as  usual. 

Where  were  the  widow,  and  George,  and  Pete,  and 
Bob?  Well,  about  the  time  that  Curley  Pete  was 
fairly  started  for  Tucson,  the  widow  was  at  the 
Nogales  Custom  House  at  the  Line,  just  precisely  ten 
miles  in  an  oposite  direction.  What  was  her  business 
there?  The  estimable,  handsome,  and  talented  wo- 
man was  overlooking  the  examination  of  her  trunks 
and  wagon  by  the  Mexican  revenue  officers,  prefatory 
to  their  appraisement  and  the  collection  of  revenue 
thereon,  before  permitting  her  to  continue  on  her  way 
to  the  capital — Hermosilla — or  wherever  the  self-con- 
tained and  energetic  lady  intended  going,  in  the  State 
of  Sonora,  Mexico. 

At  twelve  M. ,  the  same  day,  the  lady  was  thirty  miles 
in  Sonora,  on  the  Magdalena  road,  cheerfully  hugging 
Beauty,  and  clucking  her  horse  to  a  faster  gait.  At 
the  same  hour  Bottle  Bob  had  just  changed  for  a  fresh 
horse  at  a  wayside  cattle  ranch,  on  the  Tucson  road. 
Curly  Pete  was  riding  a  sleepy  horse,  his  coat  was  off 


142  CALABAZAS. 

and  tied  to  the  saddle  behind  him,  his  suspenders 
hung  loosely  at  his  waist,  the  perspiration  was  pour- 
ing off  his  person,  and  his  arm  was  bent  to  convey  a 
cooling  flask  of  cocktails  to  his  parched  lips.  Hand- 
some George  was  seated  on  the  back  seat  of  the  stage, 
just  passing  Curly  Pete,  whom  he  did  not  recognize 
until  they  had  passed  each  other,  and  then  he  won- 
dered what  in Pete  was  riding  in  the  hot  sun  for, 

and  where  in  the  devil  was  he  going,  and  where  the 
devil  did  he  spring  from  anyway.  Three  days  later 
Handsome  George  was  in  Calabazas,  with  a  dangerous 
gleam  in  his  eye,  when  questioned  about  how  he  found 
things  in  Tucson.  Curly  Pete  was  in  Calabazas  with 
a  dangerous  gleam  in  his  eye  when  asked  how  things 
were  going  on  in  Tucson,  and  Bottle  Bob  was  in  Cala- 
bazas with  a  dangerous  gleam  in  his  eye  when  asked 
if  things  were  lively  in  Tucson,  and  the  widow  was  in 
Magdalena  with  a  ravishing  gleam  in  her  eye,  when 
she  examined  her  wad  of  greenbacks,  to  be  sure  that 
none  had  escaped  her. 

Bob,  Pete,  and  George  visited  each  other's  places 
daily,  said  ''luck,"  and  drank  cocktails,  soft  toddies 
and  straights  without  number,  avoiding  all  allusion  as 
to  how  they  found  things  in  Tucson  during  their  recent 
hasty  trip,  or  of  the  business  that  took  them  there. 

Six  da}rs  after  the  departure  of  the  widow,  a  cityfied 
looking  gentleman  with  a  sharp  face  descended  from 
the  coach  ;  the  way  in  which  he  felt  his  hip  pocket  to 
be  sure  that  his  pistol  was  there  ;  the  manner  in  which 
he  turned  his  coat  lappel  to  see  if  the  gilt  star  had 
been  lost,  nervously  concealing  the  star  as  soon  as  the 
bystanders  had  obtained  a  full  view  of  it, — his  tip-toe 


THE   WIDOW.  143 

walk  and  a  key-hole  gaze,  all  indicated  a  sleuth  hound 
or  detective!  When  he  was  seen  to  collar  Cum  Sing 
and  run  him  into  the  private  room,  presently  coming 
out  wearing  a  mysterious  frown  ;  when  he  was  followed 
to  the  store  and  was  seen  to  whisper  to  the  storekeeper, 
and  then  both  of  them  go  into  the  back  room,  whence 
the  storekeeper  emerged  after  a  short  time  with  a  wise 
though  frightened  look,  and  the  stranger  emerged 
with  a  more  portentous  look  than  before ;  when 
Drinky  was  seen  to  hastily  swallow  a  straight  whisky, 
go  straight  to  the  corral,  straightway  saddle  a  horse, 
and  ride  straight  to  the  I,ine  to  intercept  smugglers, 
suspicions  became  certainties. 

There  was  no  longer  room  for  doubt ;  this  man  was 
certainly  a  detective.  For  whom  was  he  searching? 
Of  course  a  detective  would  not  tell  (?) ,  but  in  a  few 
days  he  departed,  and  then  all  Calabazas  knew  what 
none  of  them  had  known  before.  The  officer  was 
after  the  widow.  And  the  widow,  what  had  she  done? 
Well,  it's  hard  on  the  widow,  but  must  be  told.  She 
had  married  four  men  within  three  years  without  any 
preliminary  divorce  or  funeral  to  either  marriage,  the 
husbands  all  having  some  means.  After  spending 
their  money  on  her,  the  widow  never  failed  to  need 
exercise,  and  never  returned  to  her  husband  from  her 
walk. 

Her  last  husband  had  disposed  of  a  ranch  and  cat- 
tle near  Ellensburg,  Washington  Territory,  and  after- 
ward lodged  in  the  same  house  with  and  thenmarried  her. 
Thfcy  went  to  Seattle  where  he  lavished  money  on 
jewels  to  decorate  her  person  and  embellish  her  charms. 
The  salt  sea  air  created  a  desire  in  her  breast  to  roam 


144  CALABAZAS. 

the  rolling  deep.  She  couldn't  roam  without  funds. 
These  she  borrowed  from  her  husband — the  detective 
said  stole — as  if  such  a  charmer  could  steal.  With 
the  "borrowed"  funds,  amounting  to  four  thousand  or 
more  dollars,  she  had  roamed  from  Seattle  to  San 
Francisco,  thence  roamed  to  Tucson,  thence  to 
Calabazas,  thence  to  Mexico,  where  she  was  now 
roaming.  She  was  an  expert  confidence  woman,  card 
sharp,  pistol  shot  and  "sucker-fisher."  She  had  sold 
her  place  through  a  *Tucson  real  estate  firm  to 
Mitchell  for  one  thousand  dollars  to  be  paid  as  soon  as 
proven  satisfactory.  He  had  come  to  Calabazas,  had 
satisfied  himself,  and  paid  the  money,  with  wagon  and 
horses  as  well  (for  the  widow  had  raised  the  price  on 
him  to  that  extent,  when  she  saw  that  he  was  pleased.) 
Mitcheirhad  no  more  idea  of  her  history  and  intended 
flitting,  than  did  anyone  else ;  he  had  simply  invested 
his  money  as  any  one  would  have  done;  bought 
and  paid  for  the  property,  after  seeing  that  the  income 
was  satisfactory. 

As  to  George,  Pete,  and  Bob,  I  will  freely  confess 
that  if  I  were  within  reach  of  those  high  minded 
gentlemen,  I  should  think  a  long  time  before  writing 
what  follows,  but  feeling  safe  from  their  hasty  action 
or  nervous  temperament,  and  being  determined  to 
give  a  true  history,  I  will  say  that  the  three  had 
a  great  many  reunions  among  themselves,  in  which 
silent  handgrips,  "  here's  luck,"  and  "to  you,"  was 
heard  or  seen  only.  Calabazas  intuition  was  seldom 
wrong,  and  Calabazas  intuited  about  them  that?  the 
widow  was  engaged  to  be  married  to  the  three  men 
when  she  left.  She  would  marry  as  soon  as  the 


THE   WIDOW.  145 

divorce  now  applied  for  was  granted,  and  her  lawyer 
had  written  that  it  would  shortly  be  acted  upon. 
Each  gentleman  was  pledged  to  strictest  secrecy,  for 
if  it  leaked  out  that  she  was  to  re-marry,  her  husband 
would  never  grant  the  divorce,  as  he  would  not  wish 
to  see  her  married  to  another.  The  secret  was  kept. 
The  widow  and  her  wad  were  too  precious  to  risk  by  an 
injudicious  wagging  of  the  tongue.  The  jealousy  of 
each  was  quieted  by  saying  it  would  not  do  for  her  to 
receive  the  attention  of  only  one  and  maybe  have  her 
husband  find  it  out.  Her  husband  in  such  case  might 
suspect  something  and  ' '  pull  on  the  bit. ' ' 

The  vanity  of  each  man  was  flattered  by  thinking 
that  the  others  were  being  played  for  fools  by  himself 
and  the  much  desired  widow.  Each  had  advanced 
money  to  the  extent  of  five  hundred  dollars  towards 
the  purchase  of  a  bridal  outfit,  and  to  pay  a  fair  share 
of  the  divorce  expenses — in  the  nature  of  a  bonus  to 
the  fair  widow's  attorneys  to  hurry  up  things.  The 
surprise  party  was  an  amusing  scheme  of  the  widow 
and  each  of  her  fiances  to  play  the  others  for  "  flats." 
To  each  of  the  three  that  fatal  night  was  the  last  the 
widow  would  spend  in  Calabazas  as  a  widow.  With 
each  she  planned  to  drive  next  day  to  Tucson,  and 
there  meet  him  for  the  wedding.  She  suggested  the 
midnight  start  to  Bob  ;  the  morning  start  to  Pete  ;  and 
the  stage  ride  to  George.  She  told  Jack  that  she  was 
going  to  Tucson,  and,  after  he  had  affectionately 
watched  her  fade  from  his  sight  in  that  direction,  had 
turned,  driven  over  a  mesa  down  into  a  valley,  struck 
the  stage  road  and  had  gone  south  to  the  boundary 
line. 


146  CALABAZAS. 

Not  one  word,  good  or  bad,  or  at  all,  did  George,  or 
Pete,  or  Bob,  ever  say  of  the  lady,  and  it  was  generally 
understood  to  be  a  dangerous  and  unfriendly  topic  to 
broach  in  their  company.  It  was  an  unwritten  law 
of  Calabazas  that  they  were  not  to  be  questioned  about 
how  things  were  in  Tucson.  If  an  enquirer  was 
anxious  to  know,  he  could  do  as  they  did,  go  and  see 
for  himself.  When  George  was  praised,  and  called 
lucky,  or  bright,  or  sharp,  or  nervy,  he  would  depre- 
ciatingly and  modestly  swallow  the  accompanying 
treat  and  say  with  much  profanity  that  he  was  a  ' '  jay, ' ' 
a  "sucker,"  a  "flat,"  and  many  other  dismal,  dis- 
graceful, and  impossible  things  of  himself. 

Pete  would  do  and  say  the  same.  Bob  would  do 
and  say  the  same.  Should  a  stranger  or  visitor 
remark  that  Calabazas  was  a  wide-awake  town  of  go- 
ahead  people,  they  would  chorus  that  "Calabazas  was 
such  a  jay  town,  or  nest  of  suckers,  that  any  -  —  fool 
could  come  along  with  a  stick  of  soft  solder  and  knock 
its  brains  out.  Look  at  the  '  Kid  ! '  Look  at  the 
Preacher !  Look  at  — a — a — .  Take  something  with 
me. ' '  Visiting  widows,  looking  for  business  openings, 
were  received  suspiciously  and  with  malevolence, 
neither  advice  was  given,  nor  courtesy  shown  them. 

Drinkwater  and  Crandall  were  conceded  to  be 
brighter  than  they  had  been  taken  for,  and  a  grateful 
cocktail,  or  straight,  was  at  their  service  in  the 
morning,  at  one  of  the  three  saloons — to  be  patronized 
in  rotation. — Jack  was  as  faithful  to  Mitchell  as  he 
had  been  to  the  widow,  whom  he  ever  championed  in 
his  feeble  way,  and  for  which  the  much  prized  drinks 


WIDOW.  147 

were  at  his  service,  to  be  taken  in  the  morning,  and 
rotated  at  the  three  saloons. 

Mitchell  made  money,  and  I  expect  is  making 
money  yet,  if  he  removed  with  the  remainder  of  the 
Calabazas  population  to  Nogales  whence  it  is  only  a 
step  over  the  line  into  Mexico. 

I  hope  I  may  meet  again  the  charming  widow  and 
shake  her  by  the  hand.  She  had  my  admiration  and 
good  will.  The  citizens  of  Calabazas  had  more  nearly 
a  proper  estimate  of  their  mental  caliber  after  the 
widow  had  finished  with  them,  than  they  ever  before 
had. 


THE  CALABAZAS  CUJB. 


ITS  OLYMPIAN  GAMES — MR.  MURPHY — MR.  O'CONNOR 
AND  MR.  RILEY,  AND  THEIR  DEPARTURE  FOR 
THE  LINE. 

A  RAILROAD,  a  telegraph,  a  policeman,  and  a  bar- 
ber shop,  are  the  four  signs  of  a  complete  civilization. 
Railroad  and  telegraph  lines  were  rapidly  approaching 
our  town.  We  had  been  permitted  to  elect  a  Justice 
of  the  Peace  and  a  Constable.  Mr.  Murphy  provided 
the  barber  shop.  When  Mr.  Murphy  came  to  the  town 
to  spy  out  the  land,  as  it  were,  he  was  made  com- 
pletely welcome,  and  received  so  much  encouragement 
in  the  way  of  treats  and  promised  custom  that  he 
decided  to  locate,  and  made  the  surprising  statement 
that  he  would  open  up  a  first-class  barber  shop  the 
next  day.  I  say  "surprising  statement"  advisedly, 
for  Murphy  walked  into  town  looking  extremely  dirty 
and  tired,  as  if  from  a  long  tramp,  his  sole  baggage 
consisting  of  a  not  very  large  bundle,  suspended  from 
his  shoulders  by  a  piece  of  hay  rope.  But  Murphy 
was  as  good  as  his  word,  and  next  morning  his  shop 
was  running  in  full  blast.  A  cotton  wood  pole ,  wrapped 
in  gaudy  stripes  of  red  and  white  cloth,  advertising 
the  fact  that  Calabazas  had  at  last  become  possessed 
of  this  fourth  visible  sign  of  a  perfect  civilization. 


THE  CUJB.  149 

The  barber  shop  was  situated  in  a  cul-de-sac,  about 
five  feet  wide  and  ten  feet  long,  between  the  Palace 
Hotel  and  Custom  House.  It  had  no  roof  other  than 
the  sky,  and  needed  none,  as  all  Calabazas  labor  was 
performed  in  the  cool  early  morning  or  during  the 
shady  afternoon.  Murphy's  furnishings  were  in  com- 
plete keeping  with  the  simplicity  of  the  Calabazan  life 
and  his  own.  One  public  spirited  citizen  had  loaned 
him  a  cane-bottomed  oak  chair  with  a  round  back,  in 
which  to  seat  his  customers ;  another  had  let  him  have 
a  tin  basin  in  which  customers  might  perform  their 
ablutions ;  and  the  store  had  credited  him  to  the  ex- 
tent of  two  roller  towels,  a  bar  of  refractory  and  imper- 
ishable soap,  and  a  whisky  keg — to  be  used  as  a  wash- 
stand.  Cum  Sing  had  generously  contributed  a  hand- 
less  teacup  for  a  shaving  mug,  and  Murphy  completed 
the  outfit  with  an  old  brush  and  comb,  a  lather  brush, 
two  antiquated  horn  handled  razors,  a  seriously 
mangled  razor  strop,  and  a  large  number  of  old  '  'sport- 
ing" and  "  criminal"  newspapers,  without  which 
latter  it  is  impossible  to  successfully  start  a  barber  shop 
anywhere.  These  last  he  took  from  his  bundle. 

Having  all  of  the  traditional  peculiarities  and  in- 
sinuating graces  of  •  his  profession,  Mr.  Murphy 
anxiously  inquired  into  the  health  and  business  pros- 
pects of  his  customers,  as  he  puffed  the  clipped  hair 
from  their  faces  and  necks  with  his  breath,  or  dicta- 
torially  advanced  the  proper  manner  of  settling  the 
great  political  problems  of  the  day,  while  rubbing  a 
pint  of  rancid  oil  into  his  customer's  scalp.  To  his 
credit,  be  it  said,  that  he  discountenanced  all  such 
dudish  devices  as  sea  foams,  hair  dyes,  and  hair  re- 


THE  CLUB.  151 

storers,  which  made  many  say  he  was  partially  insane, 
or  depreciated  these  things  because  he  could  not  fur- 
nish them. 

His  discourse  in  general  was  devoted  to  athletics ; 
the  details  of  all  horse  and  foot  races,  pugilistic 
matches,  etc.,  he  had  at  his  tongue's  end.  His  talk 
had  a  hypnotic  effect  on  his  customers  that  was  a 
blessing  ;  for  his  barber's  chair  having  no  head-rest,  it 
was  painfully  tiresome  to  rest  the  neck  on  the  round 
chair  back.  One's  neck  felt  broken  before  one-half  of 
the  face  had  been  shaved,  with  the  usual  barbaric 
twists  of  the  head.  But  he  was  considerate,  and  used 
his  stomach  as  a  rest  for  his  customer's  head  when 
shaving  the  other  side  of  his  face.  At  this  blessed 
change  of  position,  the  martyr  generally  fell  asleep  to 
the  music  of  the  barber's  ceaseless  drone,  with  a  rest- 
ful assurance  that  the  chair  back  had  not  completely 
broken  his  spinal  column.  After  the  shave,  the  cus- 
tomer was  made  perfectly  at  home  by  being  told  to 
"jist  step  over  to  yon  basin  and  wash  the  lather  off, 
and  I'll  give  ye's  hair  a  swipe." 

Notwithstanding  that  Murphy  became  so  deeply 
interested  in  his  own  conversation  as  to  shave  off  a 
customer's  moustache  when  requested  to  clip  it,  or  to 
completely  denude  the  head  of  hair,  when  in- 
structed to  trim  it,  or  insisted  in  puffing  the  hair  at 
the  back  and  over  the  ears,  and  in  bringing  a  cowlick 
down  over  the  forehead,  yet  he  was  on  good  terms 
with  all,  and  his  faults  were  overlooked  in  thankful- 
ness that  his  razors  had  not  obliterated  the  beard  by 
pulling  it  out  by  the  roots,  and  in  gratitude  for  having 
used  his  stomach  as  a  head  rest.  Murphy  having  a 


152  CALABAZAS. 

monopoly,  like  all  monopolists,  nourished  apace. 
His  towels  were  never  washed  ;  his  brush  and  comb 
never  wore  out,  as  they  were  too  dirty  to  be  used,  and 
his  soap  was  everlasting.  Perfumery — other  than  his 
breath — was  unknown  in  his  tonsorial  parlor;  his 
cosmetics  were  chunks  of  mutton  tallow  taken  from 
the  choicest  cross  section  of  the  kidney,  and  strongly 
recommended  by  him  as  being  as  pure  as  * '  the  schnow 
from  the  mountins,  and  not  wan  of  thim  sch ticks  av 
hog  fat  wid  a  smathering  of  tin  foile  forninst  it,  that 
made  ye's  moustache  luck  loike  ye's  had  been  supping 
Oirish  schtew  from  a  tin  kittle ; ' '  from  which  it  will 
be  inferred  that  he  was  a  gentleman  of  pronounced 
opinions  and  plain  tastes. 

It  stands  to  reason  that  Murphy  was  not  long  in 
becoming  generally  known.  During  the  heat  of  the 
day  he  rested  himself  by  playing  pedro  for  the  drinks, 
or  in  heated  arguments  concerning  horse  races  and 
the  endurance  of  various  athletic  champions.  During 
such  arguments,  each  round  of  a  fisticuff  encounter 
was  illustrated  by  standing  at  guard,  hopping  back 
and  forth  on  his  toes,  and  gently  tapping  with  his 
finger  ends  the  various  parts  of  his  listeners'  anatomy, 
as  he  described  the  knock-out  blows  of  the  bloviating 
and  high-priced  pugilistic  heroes.  He  carried  his 
head  projected  a  foot  in  front  of  his  body  in  approved 
pugilistic  fashion ;  he  carried  his  arms  akimbo,  and 
walked  heel-and-toe  in  approved  sprinter  fashion,  and 
wore  on  Sundays  a  jockey  cap  and  figured  shirt,  the 
pattern  of  which  was  numberless  horseshoes  in  ap- 
proved horseman's  fashion.  From  a  piece  of  blanket 
filled  with  straw  and  suspended  from  the  .roof  of  a 


THE   CLUB.  153 

corral  stall,  he  improvised  a  punching  bag  for  boxing 
practice.  In  the  early  morning  he  walked  as  if  for  a 
wager,  on  the  road  in  front  of  the  store,  as  he  explained, 
"To  kapemeself  in  condition,  myb'ye,  fordy'yemind, 
now,  that  bloody  Chinaman  he  do  feed  ye's  wid  thim 
banes  till  ye's  are  all  puffed  up  loike  a  blather,  and 
ye's  have  got  to  wurruk  it  off  or  it  will  spile  ye's 
wind." 

Murphy's  continued  talk,  violent  exercises,  and 
freely  loaned  athletic  literature,  created  a  sort  of 
athletic  boom.  Every  evening,  at  dusk,  wrestling 
and  sparring  matches  could  be  seen  going  on  in  the 
street.  Short  distance  foot  races,  under  his  referee- 
ship,  took  place  for  the  cigars  or  drinks,  or  he  would 
select  horses  from  the  corral,  and  encourage  their 
owners  to  run  short  races — time  no  object — for  small 
purses. 

In  two  weeks  after  Murphy's  advent,  Handsome 
George,  Curly  Pete,  Bottle  Bob,  Casino  Harry,  and 
several  others,  with  Murphy  as  instructor,  formed  an 
athletic  club  to  encourage  sport  of  any  kind,  and  to 
look  out  for  talent  to  meet  the  home  talent.  Miners 
and  railroad  hands  were  encouraged  to  settle  their 
differences  pugilistically.  If  no  one  had  differences 
to  settle,  it  did  not  take  long  for  the  club  members  to 
create  personal  antagonisms  sufficiently  serious  to 
make  a  settlement  by  battle  before  the  club  neces- 
sary, their  efforts  being  rewarded  by  much  amusement 
and  many  winnings  of  bets.  The  club  also  arranged 
cay  use  races  for  purses,  on  which  events  pools  were 
sold,  and  pegs  were  driven  in  the  center  of  the  main 
street  that  quoits  might  be  indulged  in.  The  reputa- 


154  CALABAZAS. 

tion  for  nerve  and  hastiness  that  attached  to  George, 
Pete,  Bob  and  Harry,  made  it  certain  that  there  would 
be  no  shooting  at  a  contest  except  such  as  met  with 
their  approval,  and  in  which  they  would  take  part. 

The  fame  of  the  local  club  spread  abroad.  Each 
Sunday  saw  a  horse  or  a  foot  race,  or  an  athletic 
match  of  some  kind,  and  attracted  many  "sports" 
from  the  neighboring  towns,  all  of  which  turned  to 
the  profit  of  the  towns  people.  Murphy,  though  an 
all  around  athlete  according  to  his  own  claims,  more 
particularly  affected  foot  racing,  and  at  his  chosen 
sport  soon  had  made  himself  champion  of  Calabazas. 
None  could  be  found  to  compete  with  him  for  a 
wager.  From  a  suit  of  knit  underclothes  he,  after 
much  labor,  manufactured  a  suit  of  tights,  dressed  in 
which  he  exhibited  his  powers  before  the  "  B'yes" 
every  Sunday  afternoon,  always  winding  up  with  a 
wordy  and  vociferous  challenge  to  the  world.  He  be- 
came so  puffed  up,  and  so  impatient  of  interruption, 
that,  if  discussing  a  point,  he  would  tell  an  impatient 
customer:  "Yon's  the  razor  and  mug;  jist  give 
yeself  a  rake  off  while  ye's  waiting,  and  I  won't  charge 
ye's  but  half  price  ;  ye's  can  get  some  wather  from 
the  well." 

Amongst  the  railroad  hands  that  infested  the  town 
at  the  Sunday  gatherings,  was  a  young  man  that  took 
nearly  as  much  interest  in  the  sports  as  did  the  barber. 
He  was  a  slouchy,  good-natured  fellow,  wore  loosely 
fitting  workman's  clothes,  and  his  Sundays  were 
spent  in  contests  in  which  he  infallibly  met  with 
defeat.  Like  Murphy,  he  loved  the  "  cinder  path," 
and  was  always  ready  to  sprint  with  him — but  not  for 


THE   CLUB.  155 

a  wager.  The  barber  invariably  distanced  him,  and 
would  ask  in  a  most  earnest  manner,  "  Phy  did  ye's 
stand  still  and  let  me  run  round  ye's  ?  Phy  didn't  ye 
run?"  As  each  Sunday  saw  a  contest  of  this  kind, 
and  as  each  Sunday  saw  Murphy  the  victor  with  room 
to  spare,  so  did  the  conceit  of  Murphy  increase,  and 
his  railing  at  the  defeated  become  more  obtrusive. 
Each  Sunday  night  also  saw  the  participators  in  the 
day's  sport  full  of  whiskey,  and  the  air  full  of  talk 
concerning  wagers,  odds  and  champions. 

One  Sunday  night  a  number  of  the  club  were  in  the 
"Golden  Fleece"  drinking,  and  Murphy,  as  usual, 
was  exalting  himself  and  bantering  his  young  foot- 
racing friend.  The  young  man's  employer,  a  railroad 
contractor,  tired  of  Murphy's  self  laudation,  quietly 
remarked  that  he  "didn't  think  the  barber  was  any 
great  shakes  of  a  footracer  anyhow."  In  an  instant 
the  air  was  full  of  offers  to  bet  against  any  one  the 
contractor  thought  could  outrun  him.  The  contractor 
didn't  care  about  betting,  but  thought  the  young 
fellow  could  beat  him  if  he  were  trained.  Murphy's 
nose  went  up  so  high  at  this  that  it  threw  his  head 
back  upon  his  shoulders.  The  young  fellow !  why,  he 
would  tie  both  hands  behind  him,  give  him  the  odds, 
and  then  beat  him.  Curly  Pete,  Handsome  George, 
and  Murphy,  offered  him  odds — offered  to  tie  Murphy's 
feet  and  race  the  young  fellow,  until  at  last  the  con- 
tractor was  bluffed  into  making  a  bet  with  each  of 
them  of  one  hundred  dollars  against  two  hundred, 
that  the  young  fellow  could  outrun  Murphy  if  given 
ten  feet  start  in  two  hundred  yards.  To  the  young 
man's  remonstrances,  he  only  replied,  "You  shut  up, 


156  CALABAZAS. 

its  my  money,  all  you've  got  to  do  is  to  run ; "  and 
the  race  was  set  for  the  following  Sunday. 

The  intervening  week  was  used  by  the  contestants 
in  training.  Murphy  was  timed  by  various  stop 
watches,  and  improved  ;  but  with  his  rival  there  was 
no  improvement,  train  as  hard  as  he  might.  The  con- 
tractor's money  was  as  good  as  lost,  and  he  himself 
seemed  to  regret  that,  in  drunken  folly,  he  had  risked 
his  money ;  for  no  one  else  would  take  any  odds  and 
bet  on  the  young  man.  The  afternoon  of  the  appointed 
day,  the  men  were  made  ready  for  the  race.  Murphy 
appeared  in  his  racing  costume,  and  sprinted  over  the 
track  several  times  to  limber  up.  His  adversary, 
clothed  in  a  loose  fitting  suit  of  cotton  overalls,  and 
shod  with  a  pair  of  light  shoes,  made  no  pretence  of 
limbering  up.  A  referee  and  judge  were  selected  ;  the 
men  were  placed  toe  to  mark,  the  word  was  given,  and 
Murphy  without  trouble  distanced  the  young  man 
fully  twenty-five  feet,  in  addition  to  the  ten  feet  start 
given  him.  The  contractor  gave  the  defeated  man  a 
reproachful  look  and  told  him  to  go  home  to  the 
camp. 

This  was  the  first  contest  of  any  kind  upon  which  a 
large  amount  had  been  wagered,  and  the  winners  were 
jubilant.  Favors  were  showered  on  Murphy;  he  had 
drinks  and  cigars  enough  offered  to  have  kept  him 
supplied  for  six  months.  As  the  evening  wore  away, 
the  contractor  that  had  backed  the  loser  was  bantered 
on  all  sides.  Murphy,  with  his  Irish  wit,  drove  him 
nearly  to  distraction.  Humorous  condolences  and 
railery  that  greeted  him  when  he  entered  a  saloon, 
made  him  quite  ill-humored,  for  he  was  drinking 


THE   CLUB. 


157 


heavily,  and  several  times  good  natured  interference 
was  all  that  prevented  a  row.  The  contractor  per- 
sisted in  saying  that  he  thought  the  young  man  could 
defeat  Murphy,  but  much  to  the  barber's  disgust 
would  make  no  bet.  After  several  hours'  banter  and 
several  added  drinks,  the  contractor  became  so  heedless 
as  to  bet  with  Curly  Pete  two  hundred  dollars  against 
four  hundred  and  fifty,  that  his  man  could  defeat 
Murphy  after  two  weeks'  training,  even  start.  This 
was  a  soft  snap,  and  like  finding  money.  George, 
Bob,  and  Casino  Harry  obtained  bets  at  the  same  odds. 
The  money  was  put  up  in  the  storekeeper's  hands,  and 
a  friend  assisted  the  drunken  contractor  away  before 
he  wagered  his  mules  and  wagons. 

Shortly  before  Murphy  had  opened  his  shop,  a  fel- 
low countryman  of  his,  Rileybyname,  had  established 
himself  in  Calabazas  with  an  express  wagon.  The 
wagon  was  a  shabby  concern,  having  more  barb  wire 
and  hay  rope  in  its  make  up  than  lumber  and  bolts. 
It  was  drawn  by  a  medium  sized,  bony,  bay  horse, 
that  to  all  appearance  had  not  strength  enough  to 
raise  his  head  above  his  knees ;  his  tail  was  barren  of 
hair  ;  his  mane  was  thin  and  reached  like  a  mule's, 
and  in  walking  he  raised  one  shoulder  with  a  jerk, 
whilst  the  opposite  hip  almost  sunk  to  the  ground ; 
his  near  fore  leg  was  swathed  in  a  grain  sack. 

Riley,  the  owner,  was  a  small  man,  with  a  faded, 
patched  suit  of  clothes,  and  a  cap  made  of  the  crown 
of  a  felt  hat  with  a  portion  of  the  brim  left  on.  He 
did  such  light  hauling  as  was  needed  around  town, 
and  on  Sunday  became  religiously  drunk  on  his  week's 
earnings.  Himself,  his  horse,  and  his  wagon,  seemed 


158  CAI,ABAZAS. 

to  be  perpetually  on  the  verge  of  disintegration.  He 
lived  in  a  small  "  A  "  tent,  (which  was  also  his  stable,) 
on  the  river  bottom,  and  cherished  the  animal  with  as 
much  affection  as  if  he  had  been  the  most  distinguished 
of  the  equine  race.  No  one  ever  saw  Riley 's  horse 
out  of  a  walk;  it  was  a  perpetual  wonder  to  all  that  he 
was  able  to  walk,  his  pace  partook  so  much  of  the 
character  of  a  crawl.  Crandall,  who  had  sold  Riley  a 
lot,  said  that  he  had  money  in  the  storekeeper's  safe. 
The  very  sight  of  Murphy  appeared  to  excite  the  old 
man's  anger.  At  the  Sunday  sports,  when  Murphy 
appeared  in  his  racing  suit,  Riley  would  bitterly  ex- 
claim, "luk  at  the  omadhaun  now,  phat  the  divil  is 
he  prancing  up  and  down  there  for  loike  a  sphider  in 
a  skillet?" 

The  news  of  the  race  to  come  off  was  spread  around 
the  neighborhood,  and  it  was  expected  that-  many 
strangers  would  be  in  town  the  appointed  day.  A  nice 
racing  path  was  laid  out,  and  so  much  interest  was 
excited  that  George,  Pete,  Bob,  and  Harry,  putting 
their  heads  together,  determined  to  make  it  a  boom 
day  for  Calabazas,  by  having  boxing,  wrestling,  and 
dancing  matches,  and  a  quarter  race  for  small  purses. 
No  money  other  than  the  contractor's  could  be  won 
on  the  foot  race,  but  some  might  be  won  on  the  other 
contests.  A  committee  was  appointed  to  obtain  men 
for  the  wrestling  and  boxing  matches,  and  a  dancing 
match  was  arranged  for  at  the  Big  Casino  hurdy-house. 
The  foot  racers  trained  steadily.  The  contractor's 
man  was  closely  watched,  and  timed  in  his  practice 
runs  by  a  secret  emissary  of  the  club,  and  his  reports 
were  that  the  club  members  who  had  bet  on  Murphy 


THE   CLUB.  159 

had  the  choicest  and  most  delicate  "  pudding,"  one 
crumbling  with  richness.  As  the  Sunday  approached, 
Calabazas  could  scarcely  contain  itself,  and  each  Cala- 
bazan  busied  himself  in  laying  plans  to  mulct  the 
visitors  that  were  expected  to  crowd  the  town. 

The  anxiously  looked  for  Sunday  came  at  last.  The 
town  was  crowded  with  visiting  sports  and  people 
from  the  adjacent  country.  At  nine  o'clock  sharp  in 
the  morning,  the  day's  sports  were  inaugurated  by 
sparring  matches  at  the  "  Golden  Fleece,"  and 
"Coliseum,"  and  by  wrestling  at  the  "  Pantheon;" 
all  for  small  purses.  At  the  "  Big  Casino"  the  Doctor 
waltzed  for  an  hour,  wearing  out  two  partners  and  the 
"piano  thumper,"  which  ended  the  morning's  sports. 
At  three  o'clock  the  great  foot  race  was  to  take  place, 
and  the  day  was  to  close  with  the  horse  races. 
George,  Pete,  Bob,  and  Harry  were  in  high  glee. 
Their  saloons  had  made  money,  they  had  bet  with 
judgment  on  the  contests  of  the  morning,  and  had  a 
delightful  "pudding"  laid  aside  for  the  afternoon. 
At  half  past  two  o'clock,  Casino  Harry  and  the  con- 
tractor prepared  their  men  for  the  foot  race,  the 
backers  electing  Pete-the-rancher  as  referee  and 
Crandall  as  starter. 

These  preliminaries  having  been  arranged,  the  men 
appeared  at  the  starting  point.  Murphy  looked  even 
more  confident  than  usual  in  his  bran  new  racing 
clothes  and  shoes.  The  contractor's  man  had  on  a 
pair  of  cheap  slippers,  and  a  suit  of  common  blue  over- 
alls cut  off  at  the  knees  and  elbows.  As  he  stood  by 
Murphy's  side  waiting  for  the  word,  he  looked  far 
more  discouraged  than  did  the  man  who  had  bet  on 


160  CALABAZAS. 

him.  The  race  was  delayed  until  bets  had  been  made 
with  such  of  the  visitors  as  might  be  enticed  by  the 
odds,  and  George,  Pete,  Harry,  and  Bob,  in  this  way 
added  many  more  raisins  to  their  expected  ' '  pudding. ' ' 
Riley,  gloriously  drunk,  made  himself  a  nuisance 
offering  to  bet  ten  to  two  on  Murphy,  of  whom  he 
appeared  to  have  suddenly  conceived  a  better  opinion. 
As  no  one  else  would  take  such  odds,  George  and  his 
friends  soon  quieted  him  by  taking  his  bets. 

The  betting  finished,  the  starter  and  referee  took 
their  places.  Confident  Murphy  and  his  modest 
opponent  toed  the  scratch,  and,  at  the  starter's  shot, 
went  like  the  wind.  Both  sides  of  the  track  was 
lined  with  spectators.  The  contractor's  man  was  the 
favorite  with  the  hurdy-girls  because  he  looked  scared. 
At  the  fifty  foot  post  he  was  behind,  and  the  club 
smiled.  At  the  one  hundred  foot  post  he  had  closed 
the  gap  a  little,  and  was  painfully  struggling  to  gain 
still  more.  The  hurdy-girls  said  "Oh!"  Bets  of 
three  to  two  on  Murphy  were  freely  offered,  and  taken 
by  the  visiting  sports.  At  the  one  hundred  and  fifty 
foot  post  the  men  were  shoulder  to  shoulder.  The 
club  quit  smiling,  and  made  even  bets.  At  the  two 
hundred  foot  post,  and  finish,  the  contractor's  man 
was  a  foot  ahead,  with  enough  wind  left  to  cruelly 
ask  Murphy,  "Why  did'nt  you  run,  what  did  you 
stand  still  for  ?"  and  overbearingly  offered  to  tie  his 
feet  and  run  him  for  any  odds.  Murphy  was  so 
exhausted  that  he  had  to  be  lifted  up  and  assisted  to 
the  store. 

George,  Pete,  Bob,  and  Harry  were  paralyzed  at 
what  had  befallen  them.  The  very  mention  of  the 


THE   CLUB.  l6l 

word  "pudding"  would  have  gotten  the  loquacious 
speaker  into  difficulty.  As  for  the  ex-champion, 
words  failed  to  express  their  condemnation  of  his  want 
of  speed  and  endurance.  He  was  now  a  ''duffer," 
a  "  fraud,"  a  (<  blowhard,"  anything  but  a  foot  racer, 
and  it  would  have  been  a  serious  matter  for  him  had 
he  "been  suspected  of  crookedness.  Well,  they  were 
sports,  were  beaten,  and,  like  sports,  they  tried  now 
to  get  up  a  new  race  in  which  they  could  play  even, 
by  betting  on  the  new  man,  but  the  winner  had  gone 
about  his  business  as  soon  as  the  race  was  ended . 

The  Calabazas  club  now  lost  interest  in  the  day* 
their  handsome  saloon  profits  and  small  winnings 
were  more  than  swallowed  up  in  their  vanished 
' '  pudding. ' '  Although  Riley  had  lost  much  money  on 
Murphy,  by  his  foolish  bets  at  long  odds,  he  was  so 
pleased  at  his  defeat  that  he  became  still  more 
gorgeously  drunk  than  before.  He  took  his  money 
from  the  store  safe,  and  went  around  shaking  the  bag 
and  offering  to  bet  on  any  kind  of  proposition.  He 
had  harnessed  up  his  old  bay  horse,  and  they  were  in 
everyone's  way  while  preparing  for  the  finishing 
races,  and  his  noise  and  chaff  annoyed  the  losers  on 
Murphy  beyond  measure.  When  the  horses  were 
brought  to  the  starting  point  for  the  quarter  races  he 
was  wild  with  excitement,  and  wanted  to  enter  the 
race  with  his  outfit  on  any  terms  ;  and  when  laughed 
or  jeered  at,  offered  to  bet  any  one  that  his  horse 
could  beat  any  horse  in  the  race,  or  the  winner. 
George,  Pete,  and  Bob  snapped  the  old  man  up  on  his 
proposition.  "Of  course  it  was  like  stealing  Riley 's 
money,  but  Riley  had  been  making  fool  bets  all  day, 


1 62  CALABAZAS. 

and  was  bound  to  lose  to  some  one ; ' '  besides  they  were 
heavy  losers  on  Murphy,  and  had  to  even  up  on  some- 
body. Riley  was  crazy  drunk,  and  beyond  control ; 
he  was  determined  to  bet,  and  they  might  as  well 
have  the  money  as  to  let  strangers  from  Tubac  rob 
him.  Having  betted  with  Riley  until  his  money  was 
exhausted,  that  worthy  drove  to  one  side,  and  during 
the  race,  yelled  and  whooped  like  a  Comanche  Indian. 
The  club  members  bet  with  judgment  on  the  quarter 
race,  and  were  much  encouraged. 

While  the  race  bets  were  being  settled,  Riley  was 
sitting  in  his  wagon  half  asleep,  and  his  old  bay  horse 
with  braced  feet  and  hanging  head,  was  nearly  so. 
One  of  the  judges  shook  him  and  wanted  to  know  if  he 
was  going  to  race  or  forfeit.  "Race  av  coorse,  the 
divil  a  thing  else/'  said  Riley.  A  saddle  was  taken 
from  one  of  the  defeated  horses  and  put  on  Riley 's 
bay,  and  the  question  of  a  rider  was  debated.  Riley, 
with  drunken  obstinacy,  declined  to  let  any  one  ride 
the  bay  but  himself,  and  he  mounted  the  old  horse, 
whose  legs  bent  under  his  weight.  Some  of  those 
who  had  bet  with  the  old  man,  felt  so  ashamed  of  the 
bare-faced  robbery  they  were  perpetrating,  that  they 
offered  to  withdraw  their  bets  if  he  would  forfeit  twenty 
dollars  to  each.  Riley  had  taken  several  more  drinks 
and  refused  to  draw,  but  instead,  offered  to  bet  horse 
against  horse  that  he  would  win,  which  bet,  to  rid 
himself  of  Riley 's  biting  gibes,  the  winner's  owner 
accepted,  but  with  no  intention  to  take  Riley 's  horse  if 
won. 

Riley  rode  to  the  starting  post,  a  man  on  each  side 
jocularly  holding  up  the  bay  horse  that  he  might  not 


THE   CLUB.  163 

fall  before  reaching  there.  The  horses  were  started, 
and  passed  the  starting  post  neck-and-neck.  Riley 
wallowed  all  over  his  horse,  that  had  a  gait  between 
that  of  a  cow  and  a  giraffe.  But,  Lord !  how  he  did 
get  over  that  quarter  of  a  mile !  When  he  left  the  start- 
ing post  he  just  seemed  to  glue  his  hind  legs  to  the 
ground  and  to  stretch  out  like  a  piece  of  red  rubber, 
keeping  nose-and-nose  with  the  other  horse,  while 
Riley  swayed  from  side  to  side,  and  hung  on  like  a 
monkey.  People  held  their  breaths  as  they  saw  the 
horse  that  had  just  won  a  race,  stumble,  fall  to  his 
knees,  and  the  old  bay  horse  lengthen  out,  and  come 
in  with  erect  head  and  dilating  nostrils  a  full  length 
ahead,  and  stand  at  the  winning  post  apparently 
exhausted,  except  as  to  his  eyes,  which  had  an  exceed- 
ingly cunning  brightness. 

If  the  defeat  of  Murphy  was  a  shock,  the  winning 
by  Riley 's  horse  was  a  catastrophe.  It  was  an  unac- 
countable series  of  accidents  such  as  could  only  occur 
in  a  town  of  superlative  "jayness,  "  and  peopled  by 
' '  suckers, "  * '  flats ' '  or  other  monstrosities  of  the  victim 
tribe.  The  owner  of  the  defeated  horse  offered  the 
winner  fifty  dollars  to  settle  the  bet,  which  amount  the 
old  man  accepted,  and,  gathering  in  his  other  win- 
nings, left  town  in  company  with  the  man  to  collect 
the  money. 

This  fatal  Sunday  ended  athletic  sports  in  Calabazas, 
and  ended  the  Calabazas  Club  as  well.  George,  Pete, 
Bob,  and  Harry  sat  up  quite  late  that  night,  nervously 
figuring  as  to  how  they  could  have  lost  so  heavily  on 
such  sure  things.  Why  didn't  Murphy  pack  more 
baggage?  Why  didn't  Riley 's  horse  limp  when 


164  CAI.ABAZAS. 

racing?  How  came  the  young  man  to  get  such  sud- 
den increase  of  speed?  Could  the  Tubac  or  Tomb- 
stone sports  have  put  up  a  job  ?  The  longer  they 
pondered,  the  more  thoughts  of  possible  fakes,  throw 
offs,  and  put  up  jobs,  obtruded  on  their  minds,  until, 
to  satisfy  their  doubts,  they  determined  to  interview 
Murphy,  the  contractor's  man,  and  Riley  at  the  pis- 
tol's mouth  for  information.  A  call  at  the  store  devel- 
oped the  fact  that  Murphy  had  left  with  the  foot  racer, 
claiming  that  he  feared  for  his  life  after  losing  the  race. 
This  fear  was  justifiable  and  to  be  expected  in  a  man 
of  Murphy's  judgment.  A  call  at  Riley 's  tent  told 
that  he  was  absent  also.  He  had  been  seen  going 
away  with  the  man  who  owned  the  defeated  horse. 

The  four  friends  put  on  their  pistols  and  cartridge 
belts,  and  rode  five  miles  to  the  railroad  camps  to 
interview  the  men.  At  the  camps  they  were  told  that 
Murphy  and  O'Connor  (the  winner)  as  soon  as  he  had 
received  his  share  of  the  winnings,  bought  two  cay  uses 
and  had  started  for  the  I4ne.  At  the  grader's  camp 
it  was  found  that  Riley  had  left  there  quite  sober  after 
getting  his  fifty  dollars,  and  had  ridden  toward  the 
L,ine.  They  spurred  their  horses  and  reached  Nogales. 
The  Custom  officers  said  the  three  men  had  passed 
there  laughing  and  talking  hilariously;  had  only 
stopped  long  enough  to  buy  some  Mescal  and  pay  duty 
on  their  horses,  which  they  did  from  a  sackful  of 
money.  As  they  were  not  permitted  to  pursue  any 
further,  the  "big  four"  of  Calabazas,  turned,  with 
long  drawn  groan  and  saddened  faces,  homeward. 

Reaching  Calabazas,  the  four  visited  each  other's 
saloons  in  rotation,  drank  "straights"  in  silence,  and 


THE   CUJB.  165 

the  next  morning  it  was  generally  known  in  the  town 
that  any  exhibition  of  athletics,  except  in  serious  per- 
sonal encounters,  would  be  taken  by  the  four,  individ- 
ually and  collectively,  as  an  insult  to  be  wiped  out 
with  blood.  The  quoit  pegs  were  pulled  up,  and  the 
quarter  course  and  racing  path  obliterated.  All  games 
were  barred,  but  keno,  poker,  monte  and  faro.  "  Pud- 
dings" were  under  the  ban,  and  Cum  Sing  took  warn- 
ing accordingly. 

Riley's  wagon  laid  around  until  used  for  kindling 
wood.  Mr.  Murphy's  tonsorial  parlors  were  dis- 
mantled, and  his  sporting  literature  divided  among  the 
hurdy-houses.  It  was  wafted  into  Calabazas  not  long 
after  their  departure,  that  these  three  men  were  part- 
ners in  working  "jay"  towns;  that  Murphy,  O'Con- 
nor, and  Riley  were  assumed  names.  The  first  two 
were  professional  foot-racers,  but  were  so  well  known 
in  California,  where  they  had  worked  fake  races,  that 
they  had  been  forced  to  hunt  new  pastures,  and  had 
found  no  green  feed  until  Calabazas  had  been  reached. 
Riley's  horse  was  not  an  old  plug  by  any  manner  of 
means,  but  instead,  was  well  known — in  California — 
as  a  short  distance  racer,  that  an  acre  of  alfalfa  and  a 
ton  of  corn  a  day  would  not  have  fattened.  His  pecu- 
liar gait  had  been  taught  him  by  Riley  after  infinite 
labor,  and  his  bandaged  knee  was  not  at  all  lame  or 
sprained,  as  was  claimed.  Neither  was  his  true  color 
bay,  but  white.  The  bay  color  had  been  imparted  by 
Mr.  Riley  with  great  skill,  and  an  intent  to  obscure 
his  identity ;  to  keep  that  color  intact,  until  the  town 
had  been  worked,  was  the  reason  of  so  much  assiduous 


1 66  CALABAZAS. 

and  affectionate  labor  every  night  in  the  '  *  A  "  tent, 
where  he  abode  with  his  horse. 

Mr.  O'Connor  had  taken  the  contractor  into  his  con- 
fidence, and  had  supplied  most  of  the  money  so  lavishly 
bet  on  himself,  and  all  of  that  intentionally  lost  on  the 
first  race. 

The  last  heard  of  the  trio,  they  were  eating  beans 
and  Chilli  peppers  in  a  Mexican  jail,  after  some  sharp 
play  at  a  "Fiesta  "  or  religious  festival,  at  which  sharp 
play  they  had  succeeded  in  almost  bankrupting  .several 
revolutionary  Generals  and  Governors,  who  thought 
they  had  a  tender  pudding  to  be  disposed  of.  It 
behooves  infant  Western  cities  to  look  out  for  the 
triplets,  for  they  are  full  of  guile  and  deception — and 
cutting  eye  teeth  is  ever  painful. 


THE  CALABAZAS  BABY. 


HIS  PARENTS,  LUCKY  SMITH  AND  THE  LITTLE  WO- 
MAN— HIS  BIRTH — HIS  BEREAVEMENT — HE  GOES 
OVER  THE  LINE. 

As  Calabazas  blossomed,  grew  and  spread  from  a 
solitary  store  and  Custom  House  into  the  magnitude 
of  an  Arizona  City  (?),  it  was  nothing  unusual  for  new 
tents  to  be  erected ;  they  were  brought  on  good  sub- 
stantial wagons  drawn  by  strong  and  retaliating  mules, 
the  owners  of  which  could  be  questioned  and  the  very 
natural  curiosity  of  Calabazas  society  be  satisfied,  or 
their  fears  calmed,  yet,  one  morning  the  Calabazas  sun 
arose  and  shone  upon  a  tent  not  there  the  night 
before,  nor  did  the  eyes  of  the  nervous  citizens  of  that 
burg  either  see  its  arrival  or  erection.  The  tent  was 
of  the  kind  known  as  an  ' '  A  "  tent.  It  was  erected 
at  the  lower  end  of  the  town,  near  one  of  the  dead 
cottonwood  trees.  Sitting  outside  and  in  the  rear, 
was  a  small  portable  sheet-iron  stove,  to  which  was 
attached  a  couple  of  lengths  of  rusty  stove  pipe.  At 
daylight  a  stranger  was  seen  skirmishing  under  the 
dead  trees,  gathering  twigs  and  branches,  which  he 
carried  to  the  stove,  and  therewith  built  a  fire. 


THE   BABY.  169 

The  man  was  thin,  of  small  build,  and  dressed  in 
the  brown  canvas  clothing,  much  worn  in  the  West. 
His  hair  was  sandy  ' '  complected, ' '  straight  and  scanty. 
A  wirey  goatee  and  moustache  of  peculiar  sun  browned 
hue,  stuck  out  from  the  week-old  beard  covering  his 
face,  and  his  skin  was  almost  as  dark  as  coffee,  indica- 
ting that  he  was  no  stranger  to  the  fervent  rays  of 
Arizona's  sun.  One  leg  was  bent  in  at  the  knee,  giv- 
ing a  perceptible  halt  to  his  walk,  and  his  right  arm 
was  slightly  bowed,  as  if  it  had  been  once  broken. 
To  all  appearance  he  was  well  and  strong,  but  his 
movements  were  slow  and  careful  as  of  one  just  re- 
covered from  an  illness. 

While  the  man  was  building  the  fire,  a  woman  came 
from  the  tent,  having  a  piece  of  bacon  in  one  hand, 
and  a  pan  of  flour  in  the  other,  evidently  with  the  pur- 
pose of  making  the  perennial  flapjack  that  divides 
breakfast  honors  with  the  aboriginal  brown  bean  of 
Arizona.  She  was  not  larger  than  an  ordinary  girl  of 
thirteen  or  fourteen  years.  She  was  as  thin  as  her 
husband ;  her  hair,  of  a  peculiar  streaked  reddish  hue, 
was  brushed  back  from  a  forehead  innocent  of  bangs, 
and  rolled  into  a  boily  looking  lump  on  the  back  of 
her  head.  Her  hands,  thin  almost  to  transparency, 
showed  constant  usage ;  and  her  eyes,  so  large  as  to 
be  out  of  proportion  to  her  thin  oval  face,  were  of 
that  veiled,  watery  blue,  that  conveys  the  idea  of  an 
early  death  for  their  owner.  She  had  beautiful  pearly 
teeth,  set  in  a  perfect  mouth,  around  which  were  the 
lines  of  care  and  anxiety  that  one  sees  on  the  faces  of 
refined  women  who  have  bravely  battled  with  honest 
poverty.  Her  dress,  of  light,  spotted  calico,  with  a 


170  CALABAZAS. 

neat  collar  around  her  thin  neck,  was  tasty  and  scru- 
pulously clean.  These  were  the  owners  of  the  little 
tent  that  had  so  miraculously  appeared. 

Crandall  being  a  "cocktail  riser,"  was  the  first  that 
discovered  the  new  arrivals.  He  called  at  the  tent 
immediately,  and  informed  the  new  comers  that  they 
were  on  the  Company's  most  select  and  valuable  lot, 
and,  as  became  the  company's  agent,  he  was  quite 
indignant  that  they  had  taken  possession  without  so 
much  as  by  your  leave,  but  he  would  have  been  as 
indignant  if  they  had  pitched  their  tent  anywhere 
within  one  hundred  miles  of  where  it  was,  north  of 
the  boundary  line.  Crandall 's  indignation  did  not 
last  long,  for  though  a  hard  drinker,  he  had  a  soft 
heart,  and  the  little  woman  soon  had  an  arrangement 
made,  by  which  they  could  purchase  the  lot  on  the 
instalment,  plan  and  at  the  same  time  was  generously 
given  Crandall's  washing  to  do,  for  which  it  is  doubt- 
ful if  she  ever  received  a  cent  on  any  plan. 

In  a  couple  of  days  they  were  seeking  work,  the 
man  for  any  kind  of  a  job,  and  the  little  woman  look- 
ing for  washing.  The  poor  little  thing  shrank  from 
any  contact  with  gambling,  drinking,  or  hurdy- 
houses,  but  those  whom  she  approached  were  asked  to 
use  their  influence  at  such  places  to  get  her  the  wash- 
ing, for  which  she  would  be  so  thankful,  and  her 
husband  would  call  and  deliver  the  clothes.  In  a  few 
days  the  clothes-lines  were  filled  with  men's  clothing 
and  the  hurdy-girls'  more  delicate  garments.  Thence- 
forth she  appeared  to  have  all  the  washing  she  could 
attend  to,  for  the  swish  of  the  water  and  burr  of  the 


THE   BABY.  171 

wash-board  could  be  often  heard  late  into  the  night, 
and  always  early  in  the  morning. 

The  family  was  known  by  the  convenient  name  of 
"  Smith,"  and  it  was  not  Calabazas  etiquette  to  inves- 
tigate farther.  He  was  a  jack-of- all-trades,  one  of 
those  handy  fellows  often  seen  in  the  West,  where 
self-reliance  is  at  a  premium.  He  was  industrious  to 
a  fault,  and  was  ever  at  work,  or  seeking  it,  that  is, 
when  not  recovering  from  an  accident.  During  his 
stay  of  a  year  or  more  in  Calabazas,  Smith  was  seldom 
seen  for  more  than  a  week  at  a  time  without  his  head 
in  a  bandage  or  a  crutch  under  his  arm,  or  an  arm  in 
splints  or  bandages,  or  he  would  not  be  visible  at  all 
for  weeks,  for  the  poor  fellow  had  such  a  genius  for 
being  in  the  wrong  place  at  the  right  time,  and  extra- 
ordinary faculty  for  caroming  away  from  sudden  death, 
that  he  soon  became  known  as  "  Lucky  Smith." 

The  monotony  of  Calabazas  life  was  much  varied 
after  being  blessed  with  Smith's  residence.  He  had  been 
in  town  but  a  few  days  when  he  was  employed  to  erect 
a  framework  of  scantlings  for  a  large  wall  tent.  It 
was  cooling  to  stand  around  and  see  how  energetically 
the  man  worked  in  the  scorching  heat.  The  job  com- 
pleted, in  gathering  up  his  tools  he  found  that  he  had 
left  his  hammer  hooked  on  the  ridge  pole  of  the  frame 
work.  A  few  minutes  sufficed  in  which  to  place  a 
ladder  against  the  frame  and  regain  his  hammer,  after 
which  he  descended  hurriedly,  and  without  using  the 
ladder.  Besides  numerous  abrasions  and  bruises, 
which  he  lightly  passed  over,  a  bone  of  his  wrist  was 
fractured,  and,  until  the  bone  knitted,  he  assisted  his 


172  CALABAZAS. 

wife  by  packing  water,  and  engineering  the  wringer 
with  his  good  arm. 

After  recovery,  Lucky  obtained  a  job  driving  a 
grader's  wagon.  The  grader  had  never  employed  a 
man  that  gave  him  such  satisfaction,  and  Smith's 
wagon  required  fewer  repairs  than  any  ;  but  one  day 
he  leaned  over  too  far  to  see  why  his  brakes  would  not 
hold,  and  fell.  The  willing  horses  started  up  and 
pulled  the  wagon  over  him,  much  to  the  damage  of 
his  hip  and  back.  This  mishap  kept  Lucky  in  bed  for 
a  week,  and  hobbling  around  for  a  couple  of  more — 
when  again  he  was  ready  for  a  job. 

He  soon  had  a  contract  to  dig  a  well,  and  worked 
faithfully  at  it  for  ten  days.  It  was  completed  and 
accepted.  He  made  his  last  trip  to  the  bottom,  and  in 
coming  up  the  rope  broke.  Smith,  besides  minor 
wounds  that  he  might  expect  in  any  case,  broke  his 
leg.  He  made  a  rapid  recovery  from  this  accident 
and  was  again  hunting  work.  He  next  obtained  a 
contract  from  the  Railroad  Company  to  cut  ties.  He 
had  worked  two  days  diligently  when,  as  he  was 
chopping  a  few  dry  branches  to  carry  home,  his  axe 
slipped,  and  cut  his  foot.  He  had  many  smaller 
wounds  of  fingers  and  feet,  the  result  of  jams  and 
mashes  when  handling  the  logs  ;  such  wounds,  how- 
ever, were  not  considered  by  him  as  being  of  any 
moment. 

Each  of  these  accidents  called  for  a  subscription,  for 
Smith  was  an  agreeable,  social,  obliging,  and  indus- 
trious fellow,  and  his  little  wife  the  one  undoubted, 
genuine  lady  of  the  camp  ;  so  of  course  it  would  not 
do  to  let  them  suffer  while  he  was  disabled.  Notwith- 


THK    BABY.  173 

Standing  this  good  feeling,  it  was  considered  by  all 
that  Smith  was  extremely  unreasonable  to  pile  up  his 
accidents  in  such  rapid  sequence,  and  that  he  had 
mighty  little  consideration  for  his  friends  in  doing  so. 
Smith's  clean  life,  activity,  and  good  nature  brought 
him  quick  recovery,  and  he  was  soon  rustling  for 
work. 

The  lyand  Company,  having  bought  the  brick  kilns 
and  the  chimneys  of  the  Chinese  houses  that  had  been 
burned  by  rioters,  contracted  with  Smith  to  tear  them 
down  and  load  them  for  hauling.  He  pulled  down  all 
the  kilns  and  chimneys,  save  one,  in  a  short  time,  and 
with  but  little  waste.  He  attacked  the  last  chimney 
with  his  usual  ardour,  but  so  unskilfully  did  he 
extract  the  bottom  brick,  that  he  might  tumble  this 
chimney  down  as  he  had  done  the  others,  that  it  fell 
before  the  allotted  time,  and  Calabazas  was  called  on 
to  rescue  him  from  the  ruins.  An  examination  showed 
a  fractured  rib,  as  well  as  several  scalp  wounds  and 
body  injuries.  The  latter  would  have  been  considered 
serious  enough  by  most  men,  but  were  cheerfully 
passed  over  by  Smith  as  nothing,  when  making  up  a 
list  of  his  accidental  injuries.  While  convalescing 
from  the  broken  rib,  he  indulged  in  the  luxury  of  a 
bone  felon,  by  which  he  lost  a  joint  of  his  fore-finger. 
The  felon  being  a  side  issue,  and  not  the  result  of 
accident,  he  did  not  count  it  as  being  worthy  of 
mention. 

The  feeling  against  Lucky  Smith  was  now  becom- 
ing intense,  and  most  likely  he  would  have  been 
warned  to  leave  town,  had  it  not  been  for  the  presence 
and  influence  of  his  faithful  and  unwearying  little 


I  74  CAI«A BAZAS. 

wife.  He  was  liked  well  enough,  buc  even  his  friends 
had  to  confess  that  such  peculiarities  were  unworthy 
of  any  man.  It  was  unaccountable.  Some  claimed  it 
was  the  altitude ;  this  in  the  West  being  held  respon- 
sible for  many  ills.  Others  said  it  was  the  climate ; 
these  were  cautioned  to  "close  their  face,"  unless  they 
wished  to  scare  away  Eastern  tourists  or  investors. 
Still  more  said  it  was  due  to  Calabazas  being  so  near 
to  the  "  Greaser"  country  (Mexico).  All  of  these 
reasons  were  fully  considered  in  summing  up  the  prob- 
able causes  of  Smith's  ceaseless  accidents  and  conse- 
quent sufferings. 

Smith,  when  nearly  well,  concluded  to  chop  down 
his  tree  for  firewood.  He  brought  out  an  axe,  and 
had  languidly  struck  a  few  blows  when  he  was  startled 
by  hearing  cries,  "Here!  Stop  that!  Stop  that!"  and 
saw  several  of  the  prominent  citizens  running  towards 
him ;  they  breathlessly  asked  him  what  he  was  doing ; 
said  Smith  cheerfully,  "Cutting  down  my  tree." 
"Well,"  said  they,  "we  as  a  committee  come  to  tell 
you  not  to  cut  that  tree,  the  public  wants  that  tree ; 
that  tree  is  the  closest  one  to  the  town." 

The  woodman  spared  the  tree,  not  because  it  had 
shaded  the  committee  in  youth,  or  possibly  could  in  old 
age,  being  dead,  but  because — he  must.  The  climate 
was  warm  and  exercise  repulsive.  The  tree  was  quite 
close  to  the  town,  and  the  valley  was  destitute  of  tele- 
graph poles,  there  might  come  a  time  of  sudden 
emergency  and  excitement,  when  the  tree  would  prove 
a  valuable  aid  in  calming  men's  passions  by  suspending 
the  cause  thereof.  Smith's  thoughtlessness  in  trying 


Tin-:  BABY.  175 

to  cut  down  such  a  handy  tree  created  a  slight 
additional  feeling  against  him. 

Minus  a  finger  joint,  Smith  rustled  energetically  and 
secured  a  job.  He  was  employed  by  a  hurdy-man  to 
help  move  the  fixtures  from  a  tent  he  had  purchased 
to  a  larger  one  that  he  had  built ;  the  man  being  a 
newcomer,  was  not  posted  on  Smith's  ways.  Every- 
thing was  moved  with  the  celerity  and  good  order  that 
distinguished  Smith.  At  the  last  the  owner  and  him- 
self were  arranging  and  beautifying  the  bar  in  prepara- 
tion for  the  opening  festivities  that  night.  When  nearly 
finished,  in  an  unfortunate  (but  to  be  expected) 
moment  he  came  upon  the  hurdy -man's  assistant,  in 
keeping  order,  the  six  shooter. 

"Where  shall  I  put  this  ?  "  queried  Smith. 

"On  the  shelf  under  the  bar,"  said  the  hurdy-man. 

"  All  right,"  said  Smith;  but  it  was'nt,  for  in  placing 
it  there  he  in  some  way  caused  the  trigger  to  fondle 
the  cap.  The  cap  exploded,  the  bullet  dropped  out 
with  such  a  business-like  force,  that  it  penetrated 
Smith's  foot  before  finding  a  final  resting  place  in  the 
floor. 

When  the  hurdy-man  heard  the  shot,  he,  not  being 
a  man  to  take  chances — and  the  shot  might  have  been 
for  him — incontinently  banged  I^ucky  Smith  over  the 
head  with  a  bar  bottle.  Between  the  shot  and  the 
blow,  Smith  settled  into  a  box  of  empty  beer  bottles 
with  velocity  and  force  sufficient  to  break  many  of 
them,  and  received  on  his  nether  end  sundry  cuts  and 
deep  incisions,  which,  though  painful,  he  did  not 
count  amongst  his  wound  assets.  The  hurdy-man 
with  many  anathemas,  continued  to  hammer  Smith, 


176  CALABAZAS. 

under  the  impression  that  the  unfortunate  fellow  had 
made  a  deadly  assault  upon  him,  until  a  number  of 
neighbors  who  had  heard  the  shot  rushed  in  and  sepa- 
rated them,  enabling  Smith  to  make  satisfactory  ex- 
planation. After  receiving  apologies  and  payment,  an 
extra  fee  as  a  peace  offering,  and  a  drink  from  the  rec- 
tified hurdy-man,  Smith  was  packed  home  to  his  tender 
little  woman,  and  it  was  several  weeks,  diversified 
with  a  number  of  virulent  boils,  before  he  was  again 
around  seeking  employment.  The  owner  of  the  pistol, 
after  hearing  Smith's  history,  threw  that  valuable  aid 
away,  being  fully  convinced  that  it  was  hoodood,  and 
might  cut  some  deadly  caper  with  himself  next.  He 
bought  another. 

There  was  now  an  impression  in  Calabazas  that  the 
subscriptions  to  keep  L,ucky  Smith  in  repair  were  far 
in  excess  of  his  earnings,  and  if  continued  would  bid 
fair  to  bankrupt  subscribers,  so  a  sort  of  coolness 
sprang  up  between  himself  and  the  citizens.  There 
was  no  disputing  that  he  was  very  industrious,  honest, 
and  sober ;  but  what  was  the  use  of  talking  ?  Of  a 
truth  the  town  Doctor  received  vastly  more  benefit 
from  the  subscriptions  than  did  Smith  and  his  brave 
little  wife ;  but  this  was  never  thought  of  by  the  sub- 
scribers. 

As  soon  as  Smith  could  limp  around  tolerably  well, 
he  was  again  looking  for  a  job  ;  but  for  him  to  get  one 
of  any  kind  had  now  become  a  matter  of  some  doubt 
and  difficulty.  People  to  whom  he  made  application 
considered  long  and  seriously  before  giving  him  a  job, 
in  the  face  of  his  record.  A  person  had  to  be  quite 
sure  that  it  was  one  at  which  he  could  not  injure  him- 


THE   BABY.  177 

self,  intentionally  or  unintentionally,  and  by  such 
injury  bring  the  fatal  hoodoo  upon  his  employer. 
After  weighing  the  subject  seriously,  the  storekeeper 
took  pity  on,  and  employed  him  at  nominal  wages  to 
care  for  the  animals  in  the  Custom  House  corral.  He 
was  strictly  enjoined  that  his  whole  duty  was  to  keep 
account  of  the  animals'  feed  and  time  in  the  stalls,  and 
to  feed  them  hay  and  grain.  Now  here  was  a  job  that 
he  could  attend  to  and  certainly  preserve  himself  un- 
broken and  unwounded.  The  small  quantities  of  hay 
<ind  grain  that  he  had  to  handle  as  feed  could  not 
possibly  enable  him  to  break  any  bones.  Smith  went 
about  his  work  with  his  usual  good- will  and  energy ; 
the  stalls  and  corral  were  never  as  clean  before  or 
since  as  during  his  regime.  A  whole  week  and  a  half 
passed  safely,  no  accident,  no  one  called  on  to  pack 
Smith  home.  Wonder  of  Calabazas  wonders — Smith 
had  reformed ! 

The  eleventh  day  of  Smith's  employment,  a  few 
minutes  after  noon,  he  conld  have  been  seen  being 
carried  from  the  corral  by  four  men,  carried  to  the 
little  "A"  tent  that  was  his  accident  ward.  He  had 
very  good  naturedly  loaned  a  neighbor  a  hayfork  just 
before  going  to  dinner;  returning  from  dinner,  he 
climbed  upon  the  hay  pile  to  throw  down  hay  for  some 
newly  arrived  horses.  In  sliding  down  the  stack,  he 
brought  up  against  the  hayfork  he  had  so  kindly 
loaned,  and  which  the  neighbor,  upon  returning,  had 
carefully  leaned  against  the  stack,  prongs  up,  so  that 
Smith  couldn't  miss  rinding  it.  Two  of  the  sharp 
prongs  had  penetrated  the  poor  fellow's  thigh.  He 
counted  not  the  numberless  finger  cuts  received  while 


178  CALABAZAS. 

opening  grain  sacks,  nor  the  times  he  had  jabbed  the 
prongs  of  the  stable  fork  into  his  foot  when  cleaning 
the  bedding  from  the  stalls,  or  the  number  of  times  he 
had  bruised  himself  in  falls  from  the  haystack  that  he 
intended  for  slides ;  they  were  not  worthy  of  mention 
as  part  of  his  corral  experience. 

When  the  storekeeper  was  informed  of  Smith's  mis- 
hap, he  muttered  a  few  energetic  words,  went  to  the 
corral  and  broke  the  hoodood  hay  fork,  that  a  mule 
might  not  be  killed  by  it  next  time;  and  then,  being 
a  truculent  man  with  an  enlarged  spleen,  he  called  at 
the  '  *  A "  tent  and  indignantly  ordered  Smith  not  to 
come  to  him  for  any  more  jobs,  or  there  would  be 
trouble.  The  little  woman  he  would  assist  all  in  his 
power,  anybody  in  Calabazas  would,  but  as  to  monkey- 
ing with  him  again,  it  was  not  to  be  thought  of  under 
any  circumstances. 

The  wounds  made  by  the  hay  fork  were  painful,  but 
being  flesh  ones  only,  were  healed  in  a  few  weeks,  and 
Smith  was  again  on  his  everlasting  hunt  for  a  job — he 
was  not  very  successful.  It  was  explained  to  him  that 
no  feeling  of  a  personal  nature  existed  as  against  him- 
self, it  was  entirely  against  his  luck ;  which  last  was 
copiously  condemned  in  a  great  variety  of  vigorous 
terms. 

Smith's  inherent  industry  would  not  permit  him  to 
be  idle,  and,  when  not  packing  water,  or  otherwise 
helping  the  little  woman  by  sweating  over  the  wringer, 
he  could  be  found  around  town,  cleaning  faro  chips  in 
one  tent,  trimming  lamps  in  another,  sweeping  out 
another,  or  in  fact  doing  any  little  chore  and  service 
unasked,  that  he  saw  lying  around  undone.  Many 


THE    BABY.  179 

would  willingly  have  given  him  a  job,  but  dare  not; 
many  were  tempted  to  pay  him  for  such  willing  ser- 
vices, but  were  afraid  to,  because  he  remained  free 
from  accidents  while  working  for  nothing.  Anyone 
that  would  give  Smith  a  job  under  pay  after  his  record, 
would  be  looked  upon  as  a  person  of  malice  and 
venom,  in  case  of  accident  to  that  lucky  person.  True, 
they  sent  the  little  woman  drinks  of  iced  lemonade  and 
soda  very  often,  and  sometimes  paid  her  more  than  her 
bill  for  washing,  in  this  way  trying  to  partially  reim- 
burse Smith  for  his  time  and  free  labor,  but  to  regu- 
larly employ  him — no.  It  even  made  them  nervous 
to  see  him  around  their  places;  a  bottle  might  jump 
off  the  shelf  and  brain  him,  or  he  might  stumble  over 
a  chair  and  break  his  leg ;  or  over  himself,  and  break 
his  neck.  Many  a  customer  called  for  whisky  sour, 
and  received  a  gin  cocktail,  because  the  barkeeper  was 
intently  watching  Smith  that  he  might  call  out  in  case 
of  a  threatened  danger,  unseen  by  that  gentleman. 
At  some  places  he  was  told  in  direct  terms  that  he  was 
a  good  fellow  and  all  right,  but  they  didn't  want  him 
to  break  any  of  his  bones  in  their  house. 

As  the  weeks  passed  without  accident,  it  was  con- 
sidered that  Smith  had  finally  become  acclimated,  and 
the  hoodoo  had  left  him.  After  seriously  turning  it 
over  in  his  mind,  Handsome  George,  of  the  Golden 
Fleece,  took  this  view  of  the  case.  He  was  a  man  for 
whom  Smith  had  done  many  duly  appreciated  chores, 
therefore  he  concluded  to  give  him  a  trial,  and  en- 
gaged him  to  assist  in  re-arranging  and  renovating  his 
saloon  and  gambling  house.  George  intentionally 
omitted  to  arrange  any  specified  amount  to  be  paid,  as 


180  CALABAZAS. 

the  sly  fellow  intended  not  only  to  indemnify  him 
amply  for  the  present  job,  but  to  add  an  additional 
amount  in  payment  for  the  numerous  chores  before 
spoken  of,  and  which  had  been  done  with  no  thought 
of  reward. 

Smith  pitched  into  the  work  with  his  usual  vim  and 
zeal.  For  five  days  was  he  diligently  tangled  up  with 
bottles,  paint,  chairs,  tables,  and  white-wash,  being 
continually  watched  and  warned  by  George  during  the 
time.  At  the  end  of  that  time  his  industry  and  good 
taste  had  converted  the  tent  into  what  the  hurdy-ladies 
called  a  '  *  bower  of  beauty. ' '  George  was  so  gratified 
with  the  change  of  appearance  that  Smith  had  wrought, 
that  he  not  only  handed  him  twenty  dollars,  but,  in 
addition,  insisted  on  his  taking  a  couple  of  bottles  of 
port  wine  to  the  little  woman,  whom  George,  humanely 
and  tersely  said,  had  "  all  the  blood  soaked  out  of  her 
with  that  —  —  water. ' '  Smith  was  surprised  and  grate- 
ful; he  started  joyfully  for  home,  and  if  he  had  gone 
right  on  it  would  have  been  better  for  him  ;  but,  un- 
fortunately, he  halted  at  the  tent  door,  to  take  a  proud, 
parting  look  at  the  result  of  his  handiwork,  and  saw  a 
swinging  lamp  a  little  awry.  This  would  never  do  the 
re-opening  night.  It  took  but  a  moment  for  Smith  to 
push  a  table  under  the  lamp,  pile  thereon  a  pyramid  of 
boxes,  and  crown  the  boxes  with  a  chair.  Another 
moment  and  he  was  in  the  chair,  and  had  the  lamp 
hanging  properly.  Another  half  a  moment  and  he 
was  on  the  floor,  under  the  chair  and  boxes,  with  a 
broken  collar  bone  and  a  large  number  of  minor  hurts 
and  cuts,  which  were  a  mere  bagatelle  in  calculating 
the  general  results.  Lucky  Smith  had,  with  unusual 


THE   BABY.  l8l 

judgment,  selected  the  only  table  in  the  room  with 
unsafe,  or  weak  legs. 

Handsome  George  was  justly  very  indignant.  Here 
was  all  his  kindness  and  good  feeling  entirely  thrown 
away.  He—  —his  luck  and  poor  judgment  in  ever 
putting  Smith  under  pay,  or,  in  fact,  in  having  had 
him  around  at  all.  He  considered  that  Smith  had 
committed  a  gross  breach  of  confidence,  and  that  his 
incurable  failing  put  him  beyond  the  pale  of  human 
sympathy.  Here  he  was  with  a  broken  collar  bone, 
after  lying  low  for  a  month  to  get  a  chance  to  break  it 
in  his  (George's)  tent,  and  on  the  opening  night  too. 
Smith  was  worse  than  the  "  Kid  "  or  the  "  Preacher,'1 
because  they  had  bluffed  and  played  smooth,  but  he 
had  just  sneaked  around  playing  square,  so  as  to  get  a 
chance  too  hoodoo  some  one's  place.  In  his  opinion 
Calabazas  was  a  jay  town,  and  Smith  knew  it.  He 
was  always  willing  to  do  what  he  could  for  the  little 
woman,  for  she  was  a  lady  ;  but  Smith,  well,  Smith 
had  better  never  come  into  the  Golden  Fleece  again, 
or  he  would  break  his  infernal  back  in  two,  and  not 
wait  for  an  accident  to  do  it  for  him. 

It  was  fully  a  month  or  more  before  Smith  had  so 
far  recovered  as  to  permit  of  his  doing  much,  but  not 
at  all  disheartened  was  he.  Paler  and  thinner  than 
ever  before,  the  cheerful  fellow  looked  around  for  such 
jobs  as  he  could  get,  that  he  might  be  a  help  to  his 
faithful  little  wife.  No  one  would  give  him  work,  but 
many  offered  him  money  (which  Smith  never  would 
take  unless  it  had  been  raised  by  a  general  subscrip- 
tion). At  last  Cum  Sing  decided  to  employ  him  to 
clean  table-ware  and  do  light  kitchen  work,  in  pay- 


1 82  CAZ,AEAZAS. 

ment  for  his  own  and  his  wife's  meals.  Cum  Sing 
said  that  he  "  felt  welly  solly  "  for  him,  but  thought 
he  was  "clazy  to  bleak  himself  allee  time."  Smith 
brought  the  same  energy  to  the  Palace  Hotel  kitchen 
that  had  procured  him  employment  at  the  other  places, 
and  never  had  Cum  Sing's  table-ware  been  so  bright 
and  clean.  For  three  weeks  he  worked  along  con- 
tentedly, gaining  strength  each  day.  A  tinge  of  color 
came  into  his  own  and  the  little  woman's  cheeks;  the 
release  from  cooking,  and  the  change  of  food  gave  her 
a  much  needed  rest  and  variety. 

Cum  Sing  thought  him  a  "  welly  good  man,  but  he 
welly  poor."  Alas!  Cum  Sing's  sympathy  and  good 
feeling  was  doomed  to  be  turned  to  most  bitter  gall, 
for  Smith,  with  his  ever  willing  alacrity  and  good 
nature,  volunteered  to  assist  Hi  Sing,  the  cook,  in 
taking  a  large  boiler  of  hot  water  from  the  stove.  Of 
course  the  boiler  had  a  weak  handle,  and  more  as  a 
matter  of  course  this  handle  was  on  Smith 'send  of  the 
boiler,  waiting,  and  had  waited  patiently,  to  come  off 
as  soon  as  Smith  grasped  it;  and  come  off  it  did,  the 
hot  water  scalding  his  legs  frightfully.  lyUcky  Smith 
was  again  being  carried  down  the  trail  that  had  been 
worn  packing  him  to  his  little  tent  after  accidents. 
Cum  Sing  was  very  angry  at  first,  but  dismissed  Smith 
and  the  accident  by  saying,  "Well,  me  solly,  - 
Smith ;  me  no  hab  him  no  more,  suppose  he  pay  me 
fi'  dolla  one  day ! ' '  This  gentle  heathen,  nevertheless, 
sent  daily  meals  without  charge  to  Lucky  and  the  little 
woman,  until  he  was  able  to  be  around  again. 

After  this  accident,  it  was  impossible  for  Smith  to 
obtain  employment  around  town,  and  even  his  doing 


THE   BABY.  183 

chores  out  of  pure  good  nature  was  objected  to  at  most 
places.  Every  one  had  a  good  word  for  him,  any 
quantity  of  drinks  and  cigars  were  at  his  disposal  when 
he  entered  a  place,  if  he  would  only  accept  them,  and 
clear  out  before  a  stray  bullet,  or  other  accident  laid 
him  low  011  the  premises.  Seeing  that  it  was  a  useless 
and  wilful  waste  of  time  to  seek  further  employment, 
he  gave  all  of  his  time  to  assisting  the  little  woman 
with  her  washing.  At  this  he  did  not  meet  with  any 
serious  accidents,  but  he  was  often  seen  with  his  hands, 
his  head,  or  his  foot  swathed  in  bandages,  presumably 
having  been  injured  by  getting  his  fingers  in  the 
wringer,  slipping  upon  the  soap  scraps  he  had  carefully 
laid  aside,  that  they  might  not  be  lost  or  wasted,  or  by 
catching  his  chin  over  the  clothes  lines  when  in  a 
hurry — as  he  always  was. 

The  little  woman  was  so  continuously  occupied  in 
nursing  Smith  after  his  numerous  accidents,  and  in  at- 
tending to  her  washing,  that  she  had  no  time,  even  if 
inclined,  to  make  acquaintances  amongst  the  women 
of  the  camp.  Any  one  calling  at  her  tent  received  a 
kindly  welcome.  They  invariably  found  everything 
in  perfect  order,  and  the  little  woman,  notwithstanding 
the  nature  of  her  work,  neat  and  cheerful.  There 
were  no  sounds  of  bickering  or  joviality  ever  heard 
coming  from  the  little  tent.  Her  customers  all  had  a 
kind  and  civil  word  for  her,  and  she  for  them,  for  the 
little  woman  did  not  seern  to  think  a  kind  word  to  the 
lowest  was  degrading  to  herself. 

If  she  had  been  at  all  coquettish  or  unstable,  there 
were  plenty  of  well-to-do  men  in  Calabazas  that  would 
have  prompted  or  encouraged  her  to  obtain  a  divorce 


184  CALABAZAS. 

from  Smith,  and  would  have  willingly  paid  the  ex- 
penses. Divorces  are  not  uncommon  in  such  towns, 
and  neither  the  man  nor  woman  are  the  worse  thought 
of  on  account  of  their  matrimonial  disagreements. 
Nowhere  on  earth  are  moral  and  reputable  women 
more  respected,  and  the  little  woman,  divorced  and 
re-married,  would  have  been  in  a  much  better  financial 
position  ;  but  the  admirable  little  woman  neither  per- 
mitted nor  made  the  slightest  advance  or  familiarity. 
She  loved  her  husband  with  her  whole  heart  and  soul, 
and  he  deserved  it,  for  no  woman  ever  had  a  more 
affectionate  or  industrious  husband  than  he  was. 

As  the  months  passed  by,  the  little  woman  was  not 
around  the  wash  tub  so  constantly,  and  it  was  noticed 
that  she  did  little  else  than  her  cooking,  or  ironing 
the  delicate  underwear  of  the  more  aristocratic  and 
successful  hurdy  girls.  Presently  she  was  even  more 
rarely  seen,  except  as  sitting  in  the  little  "A"  tent 
sewing.  This  was  not  commented  upon,  as  it  was 
known  that  she  was  in  delicate  health.  Therefore, 
when  Smith  was  seen  with  an  anxious  face  hunting 
for  the  doctor  one  night,  it  was  not  considered  as 
strange  or  unexpected.  With  much  hunting  around 
the  various  resorts,  he  found  the  doctor  in  one  of  the 
hurdy-houses  enjoying  a  vigorous  waltz.  After  a 
short  whispered  conversation,  the  doctor  and  Smith 
departed  for  the  ' '  A  "  tent,  and  next  morning  it  was 
known  that  the  little  woman  had  presented  Smith  with 
an  heir  to  his  fortunes  or  misfortunes,  in  the  shape  of 
a  fine,  plump,  healthy  little  boy.  When  night  had 
come,  it  was  also  known  that  the  industrious,  faithful 
little  woman  was  dead,  or,  as  they  expressed  it,  "the 


THE    BABY.  185 

little  woman  had  turned  her  toes  up  on  Smith." 
Whilst  her  death  was  regretfully  commented  on  in  the 
town,  the  unaccountable  last  lingering  relic  of  decency, 
that  ever  exists  in  the  hearts  of  such  people,  began  to 
show  itself.  Men  and  women  in  saloon,  hurdy  and 
gambling  houses,  gathered  together  and  planned  as  to 
the  proper  care  of  the  motherless  babe,  and  the  burial 
of  its  mother.  Poor,  grief-stricken  Lucky  Smith  was 
neither  consulted  nor  advised  with.  The  women  of 
Calabazas  gathered  in  the  little  tent,  and,  with  gentle 
hands,  dressed  the  dead  mother  in  the  best  of  her  poor 
clothing,  and  laid  her  out  for  burial.  Her  thin,  tired 
hands,  folded  on  her  pure,  gentle  bosom,  clasped  a  few 
scentless  wild  flowers,  gathered  after  a  tiresome  search 
through  the  neighboring  small  valleys.  As  they  sat 
around  the  rough  bier,  they  cried  over  her  dead  body 
as  if  she  had  been  near  and  dear  to  them,  and  endowed 
her  with  every  virtue  imaginable ;  yet  not  one  of  these 
had  ever  had  more  than  a  passing  word  with  her. 

The  babe  was  fondled  and  cried  over,  while  with 
unaccustomed  hands  they  tried  to  prepare  a  soda 
bottle  of  condensed  milk  for  his  sustenance.  With 
that  blessed  gentleness,  and  God-like  sympathy  that 
makes  all  women  angels  in  times  of  trouble  and  suffer- 
ing, these  outcasts  of  society  gathered  around  poor 
Smith  with  cheering  or  consoling  words  and  offers  of 
service.  The  unfortunate  fellow  was  beyond  consola- 
tion. He  realized  that  his  wife's  death  was  a  consum- 
mation of  all  the  accidents  and  troubles  that  could  ever 
happen  to  him. 

Davis,  the  constable,  made  a  coffin  of  some  spare 
shelving  from  the  store ;  he  lined  and  covered  it  and 


THE   BAEV.  187 

its  wooden  handles  with  black  dress  goods  from  the 
same  place.  He  tacked  the  cloth  on  with  broad- 
headed  brass  chair  tacks,  and  with  the  same  tacks 
artistically  inscribed  her  name  and  birth  and  death 
dates  upon  the  lid.  One  of  the  hurdy-girls  made  a 
pillow  from  a  piece  of  a  satin  dress — no  doubt  a  relic  of 
happier  and  more  innocent  days.  A  hanger-on  of  one 
of  the  saloons  dug  the  grave,  and  of  a  piece  of  board 
from  a  packing-case  the  storekeeper  made  a  head- 
board, into  which  he  deeply  cut  and  inked  the  little 
woman's  name,  her  birth  and  death  dates.  The 
women  watched  the  corpse  that  night,  as  they*  could 
manage  to  spare  time  from  the  hurdy-house,  and  the 
following  day,  followed  to  the  grave  by  a  majority  of 
the  people  of  the  town,  the  poor  little  dead  mother 
was  decently  buried  on  the  opposite  bluff,  and  the 
mound  smoothed  and  patted  over  her  remains,  by 
rough  but  kindly  hands. 

There  were  no  set  funeral  prayers  ;  the  only  sermon 
was  the  subdued  talk  around  the  grave,  of  the  honest 
record  of  the  little  woman  while  in  Calabazas  ;  of  her 
charity,  industry,  cheerfulness  under  difficulties,  and 
ever  readiness  to  do  little  acts  of  kindness  for  all  with 
whom  she  had  come  in  contact.  The  hysterical  sobs 
of  the  more  tender-hearted  women  were  the  hymns, 
and  they  were  mingled  with  the  sincere,  heartfelt 
prayer  of  everyone  that  ' '  God  might  bless  the  poor 
little  woman's  soul."  The  dead  buried  and  out  of 
sight,  all  returned  to  the  town  to,  in  a  few  hours, 
laugh,  dance,  drink,  gamble,  swear  or  fight,  as  if 
there  was  no  such  thing  as  death  for  them. 

Now  consider  the  people  that  inhabit  these  tern- 


188  CAI,ABAZAS. 

porary  western  towns  ;  rough,  careless,  and  apparently 
lost  to  all  moral  restraint  or  obligation,  of  quick 
temper  and  bloody  action, . outcasts  from  society;  in 
many  cases  criminals  fleeing  from  justice.  Yet  these 
people,  with  no  religious  feelings,  with  no  hope  of 
reward  either  here  or  hereafter,  with  no  self-glorifica- 
tion, but  simply  as  a  matter  of  course,  do  the  most 
generous  acts,  and  perform  the  most  beautiful  and 
grateful  services  that  man  can  for  his  fellow-man,  and 
in  an  unobtrusive  way  ;  the  more  refreshing  when 
compared  with  the  ostentation  of  those  who  claim  to 
do  it  for  their  Master's  sake.  A  just  God  cannot  but 
remember  at  the  last  day  the  impulsive  kindness  and 
generosity  of  these  gamblers,  whisky  sellers  and 
hurdy-girls.  In  Heaven's  record  there  will  surely  be 
some  bright,  approving  marks  against  their  names,— 
marks  all  the  brighter  when  contrasted  with  the 
gloomy  blackness  of  their  lives,  and  it  may  be  that 
some  of  them  will  be  herded  with  the  Christian  sheep 
— and  take  chances. 

Let  those  living  in  more  civilized  communities, 
with  their  incorporated  churches,  asylums  and 
charities,  compare  the  charity  dispensed  by  those 
soulless  corporations  with  the  charity  of  these  God- 
forsaken people.  True  charity  covers  a  multitude  of 
sins,  but  true  charity  comes  not  from  cool  calcula- 
tion or  deliberation.  True  charity  cannot  be  reduced 
to  a  business  proposition,  for  it  springs  impulsively 
from  a  sympathetic,  generous  heart.  The  heart  may 
be  scaled  over  by  a  hard  and  wicked  life,  but  to  the 
one  who  possesses  such  a  heart,  there  comes  a  time 
when,  in  spite  of  its  hardened  owner,  it  swells  with 


THE    BABY.  189 

sympathy  and  bursts  its  scaly  armor  to  the  doing  of 
brave  and  generous  deeds.  Would  this  poor  woman, 
steeped  in  poverty  and  doing  the  most  menial  work , 
have  been  so  kindly  treated  and  respected  in  life,  so 
mourned  for  at  death,  and  so  gently  laid  in  an  honored 
grave?  Would  her  motherless  babe  have  been  so 
fondly  cared  for,  or  her  grief- stricken  husband  been 
condoled  with,  by  almost  total  strangers,  if  she  had 
borne  her  honest  poverty  and  died  her  humble  death 
in  the  average  Christian  city  ?  Would  not  her  body 
have  been  consigned  to  the  tender  mercies  of  a 
political  undertaker,  to  be  buried  in  a  grave  blazoned 
"pauper,"  with,  if  any,  a  hasty  service,  performed 
over  her  body  by  some  clergyman,  bored  because 
there  was  no  fee  in  sight  ?  And  her  babe,  well,  the 
mortality  reports  of  "  Infant  Shelters,"  run  by  pro- 
fessional philanthropists  with  money  begged  from 
someone  else,  will  give  the  percentage  of  a  baby's 
chances  for  living. 

The  night  of  the  burial,  Lucky  Smith's  sad 
bereavement  was  much  talked  about.  Curly  Pete  was 
particularly  interested,  because  he  said  his  mother  had 
died  when  he  was  a  baby.  About  ten  o'clock,  George, 
Bob  and  Harry  dropped  into  the  Coliseum  saloon,  and 
had  a  few  minutes'  talk  with  Pete,  shortly  after  which, 
during  an  interval  between  the  keno  games,  Pete 
mounted  the  stand  from  which  the  game  was  called, 
and  made  a  few  remarks  to  the  assembled  crowd,  as 
follows  : — 

4 'Say,  boys,  we'll  give  this  game  a  rest  a  minit, 
because  I  want  to  chip  in  a  say.  Look  here  !  you  all 
know  that  Lucky 's  little  woman  turned  up  her  toes 


1 90  GALA  BAZAS. 

on  him  yesterday,  and  left  him  a — ah — ah — d —  -  it ! 
Kid !  and  (eyeing  them  sternly)  I  don't  want  no 
grins,  neither.  Now,  boys,  they  wasn't  no  finer 
lady  in  the  land  than  the  little  woman,  and  when  she 
let  go  of  her  wind  she  know'd  that  Calabazas  was 
going  to  see  to  that  baby ;  and  Calabazas  are,  and 
don't  you  forgit  it,  and  we  are  going  to  see  that 
(looking  quickly  around  the  audience),  nobody  plays 
that  kid  for  a— a— ah— ah— well,  SUCKER  !  Say, 
young  fellow,  there  (to  one  of  the  assembly),  jist 
come  and  nudge  me  once,  you  are  too  fresh.  Now, 
boys,  me  an'  George  an'  Bob  an'  Harry  has  been 
considerin'  the  matter  some,  an'  we've  come  to  the 
conclusion  that  something's  got  to  be  done.  L,ucky 
aint  fit  to  care  for  no  baby,  he's  liable  to  be  smashed 
the  first  time  he  turns  out.  The  women  says  that 
kid's  got  to  have  cow's  milk,  and  there ain'tno  cows 
this  side  of  Tubac.  Now  us  boys,  of  course,  want  to 
know  what  you  all  think,  because  the  baby  belongs 
to  us  all,  and  George  here  has  a  set  of  resolves  which, 
if  suitable,  you  fellows  can  say  so,  and  then  we  know 
everybody  will  stand  in.  While  George  is  readin' 
them,  me  and  Bob  will  pack  the  hats." 

George  mounted  the  rostrum,  and  read  the  follow- 
ing:— 

*  *  Resolved — That  this  being  the  first  baby  born  in 
town,  and  most  likely  would  be  the  last,  and  that  the 
mother  having  died,  that  it  was  in  the  nature  of  town 
property.     Such  being  the  case,  it  was  unsafe  to  leave 
him  with  Lucky  Smith. 

*  *  That  though  Calabazas  was  superior  in  every  way 


THE   BABY.  19! 

to  Tubac,  it  had  no  cows,  and  a  supply  of  milk  must 
be  brought  daily  from  Tubac  on  the  stage. 

' '  That  though  the  climate  of  Calabazas  was  delight- 
ful, milk  would  not  remain  fresh  unless  kept  on  ice, 
and  a  supply  of  ice  must  be  brought  on  the  stage 
from  Tucson  daily. 

' '  That  Bonnie,  having  had  the  baby  since  it  was 
born,  should  have  charge  of  it  and  be  paid  for  its  care. 

' '  That  as  I^ucky  Smith  could  not  be  expected  to  sub- 
mit to  these  views,  and  pay  the  expenses,  that  the 
baby  be  cared  for  by  public  subscription. ' ' 

These  resolutions  were  passed  unanimously.  George 
Pete,  and  Bonnie  (a  very  pretty  and  popular  hurdy- 
girl)  were  appointed  a  committee  to  take  charge  of  the 
baby,  and  the  amount  collected  in  the  hats  by  Bob 
and  Pete  was  counted  and  called  out.  It  a  mounted  to 
over  a  hundred  dollars,  and  many  had  agreed  to  pay 
something  every  month. 

The  committee  called  at  the  store  and  arranged  for 
the  supplies  to  be  brought  as  ordered  by  Bonnie,  and 
then  called  on  Lucky  Smith,  and  informed  him  of  the 
plans  as  to  the  baby,  with  many  encouraging  slaps  on 
the  shoulder  and  protestations  of  friendship  and  sym- 
pathy.  Smith  fully  appreciated  their  expressions  of 
good  will,  and  desire  to  do  himself  and  the  baby  a 
service,  and  expressed  his  thanks  for  their  unostenta- 
tious kindness  in  providing  for  the  care  of  the  baby 
and  the  burialof  his  wife,  without  expense  to  himself; 
at  hearing  which  they  told  him  to  "close  his  jaw." 
It  would  have  been  a  mortal  offense  for  him  to  have 
even  hinted  at  any  future  repayment,  for  they  were 
not  educated  to  that  point  of  charitable  economy  that 


IQ2  CALABAZAS. 

fears  to  make  a  bummer  of  a  distressed  person  by 
assisting  him. 

The  doctor  was  next  interviewed  by  the  committee, 
and  by  them  was  informed  that  very  much  feeling 
existed  against  him  on  account  of  his  permitting  the 
Calabazas  baby's  mother  to  die ;  that  he  was  called  in 
as  a  doctor  in  cases  of  sickness  to  prevent  such  a  catas- 
trophe, and  if  he  could  not  do  that,  he  ought  to  haul 
in  his  shingle  and  go  dig  clams  (not  stating  where  he 
would  find  them  around  Calabazas.)  They  reminded 
him  of  the  doctor  that  was  hanged  b}^  a  committee  of 
citizens  at  the  town  of  Ratoon,  at  the  foot  of  the 
Ratoon  Mountain,  in  New  Mexico,  because  he  let  a 
lady  die  on  his  hands.  However,  they  would  let  by- 
gones be  by-gones,  but  he  would  be  expected  to  look 
after  the  baby,  and  should  sickness  or  death  come  to 
that  precious  infant,  there  would  be  serious  trouble 
in  store  for  him.  As  these  men  generally  carried  out 
their  threats,  it  may  be  imagined  that  the  doctor  was 
alwaj^s  on  tap  at  the  demand  of  the  baby,  and  he 
watched  that  treasure  with  an  eagle  eye.  Spells  of 
-wind  colic  in  the  Calabazas  baby,  generated  spells  of 
fear  colic  in  the  Calabazas  doctor,  far  more  serious  to 
his  peace  of  mind. 

Bonnie,  though  but  a  hurdy-girl,  was  as  kind  and 
affectionate  as  she  was  pretty.  She  scouted  the  idea 
of  payment,  and  said  it  must  go  in  the  baby's  fund. 
A  baby  never  received  from  its  mother  better  care  or 
more  affection  than  she  gave  the  town  baby.  She  had 
him  with  her  day  and  night,  and  his  milk  bottle  was 
never  empty.  Between  the  doctor's  strict  and  inter- 
ested attention,  and  her  motherly  care,  he  thrived 


THE   BABY.  193 

wonderfully ;  was  as  fine  a  boy  as  his  sponsors  could 
wish  for,  and  a  credit  to  Calabazas.  The  house  that 
employed  Bonnie  was  the  largest  and  best  patronized 
in  the  town,  but  with  the  baby's  advent  there  was  less 
noise  and  fewer  fights  therein,  the  baby  proving  an 
excellent  peacemaker.  He  was  daily  carried  around 
the  more  high  toned  saloons  for  an  airing,  and  was  the 
center  of  attraction,  was  jocularly  asked  what  he  would 
have,  and  called  "  nibsey"  and  "job  lots"  and  "Jag- 
sey,"  and  other  infantile  and  affectionate  names.  His 
good  points  were  passed  upon,  he  was  remarked  to 
have  a  nervy  eye,  and  should  he  cry  when  handled  too 
much,  glances  of  admiration  would  be  exchanged  over 
his  hasty  temper.  Some  of  the  sports  would  have 
Bonnie  sit  him  beside  them  on  the  faro  table  as  a  Mas- 
cot, and  divided  their  winnings  with  him.  One  expert 
player  was  so  much  taken  up  with  him,  that  he  swore 
that  just  as  soon  as  the  "kid  is  four  years  old,  I'll 
take  him  in  hand,  and  if  any  body  can  play  him  for  a 
sucker  at  cards  when  he's  five,  I'll  eat  my  hat." 
George's  barkeeper  laid  plans  to  teach  him  every 
known  drink  and  mixture,  and  Harry  intended  to 
devote  not  less  than  a  year  to  pistol  instruction ;  in 
fact,  with  the  university  course  they  had  laid  out,  he 
would,  at  ten  or  twelve  years  old,  have  graduated  as 
the  most  cultivated  all-round  sport,  whisky  soak,  and 
bad  man  that  the  West  could  boast  of. 

The  daily  stage  from  Tucson  unfailingly  brought 
the  baby  some  little  thing  in  the  shape  of  clothes,  toys 
or  ornaments.  His  trips  around  the  saloons  resulted 
in  numerous  gifts  of  money.  Many  were  the  quarters, 
halves  and  dollars  slipped  into  his  chubby  pink  fists, 


194  CALABAZAS. 

from  the  horny  hands  of  the  rail-road  laborers  and 
miners  that  frequented  the  hurdy-houses.  These 
donations,  with  the  originally  subscribed  fund,  were 
placed  on  deposit  with  the  most  eminent  faro-banker 
in  the  town,  and  he  was  instructed  to  increase  it  by 
judiciously  coppered,  straight  or  case  card  bets. 

Smith  was  occasionally  permitted  to  fondle  the  baby, 
i.e.,  when  Bonnie  stood  on  one  side  and  another  girl 
on  the  other  and  one  in  front,  ready  to  throttle  him 
and  grab  the  baby  at  the  first  signs  of  an  accident. 
Of  course  Smith  gave  it  a  name,  but  he  was  the  only 
one  that  knew  what  it  was ;  every  one  else  knew  it  as 
the  ' '  Calabazas  Baby, ' '  and  there  was  not  a  mdn  or 
woman  in  the  town  that  would  not  have  fought  to  the 
death  to  have  preserved  that  wonderful  infant  from 
harm. 

L/ucky  Smith  was  as  industrious  as  ever,  and  his 
wife's  death  seemed  to  have  taken  away  his  liability 
to  accident.  He  carried  on  the  laundry  in  a  half- 
hearted way  for  a  short  time,  and  went  to  general 
jobbing  again.  Some  months  after  his  wife's  death, 
he  told  Bonnie  that  a  married  sister  of  his,  married  to 
a  contractor  on  the  Sonora  Railroad,  wished  him  to 
bring  the  baby  to  her.  Bonnie  was  panic-stricken,  and 
hastened  to  consult  the  committee.  The  committee 
called  on  Smith,  and  he  produced  letters  from  his 
sister  to  show  that  he  was  not  trying  to  * '  play  them 
for  suckers  or  jays."  The  letters  were  couched  in 
most  appealing  and  affectionate  terms,  for  her  own 
baby  had  just  died.  The  baby  being  considered  as 
public  property,  it  was  with  much  indignation  at 
Smith's  "gall"  in  claiming  the  baby  among  the  men, 


THE   BABY.  195 

and  grief  amongst  the  women,  that  they  heard  of  the 
matter,  and  it  is  doubtful  if  they  would  have  parted 
with  him  had  it  not  been  for  Bonnie,  who,  notwith- 
standing her  own  affection  for  the  baby,  could  not 
withstand  the  appeals  of  the  baby's  aunt;  and,  on  her 
pleadings,  he  was  permitted  to  be  taken  away. 

The  bank  deposit,  amounting  to  quite  a  tidy  sum, 
was  put  in  Smith's  hands  to  be  sacredly  kept,  and 
invested  to  create  a  fund  to  start  the  baby  in  life, 
should  he  live,  and  the  father  was  warned  never  to 
show  his  face  in  Calabazas  again  if  anything  should 
happen  the  boy.  Handsome  George  and  Bonnie 
accompanied  them  to  the  Line,  as  a  committee  of 
safety,  to  be  sure  that  Smith  did  not  break  his  own 
and  the  baby's  neck  on  American  soil.  For  several 
days  after  their  return  George  was  more  nervy  ani 
hasty  than  usual,  and  for  weeks  poor  Bonnie's 
eyes  filled  whenever  the  baby  was  mentioned.  She 
could  never  tell  often  enough  of  how  ' '  the  dear  little 
fellow  tried  to  jump  out  of  the  stage  window  into  my 
arms,  and  clutched  the  collar  of  my  basque  with  his 
rosy  fingers,  when  I  was  kissing  him  good-bye,  for  he 
just  knew  no  one  else  would  ever  be  as  good  to  him." 
Bonnie  looked  after  the  little  woman's  grave,  and  a 
Sunday  never  passed  that  did  not  see  it  weeded,  and  a 
few  wild  flowers  or  green  boughs  placed  upon  the 
mound  by  her.  They  may  meet  again. 

If  Lucky  Smith  is  still  living,  it  is  to  be  hoped  that 
he  was  compensated  for  the  death  of  his  estimable 
little  wife  by  better  fortune,  and  fewer  broken  bones 
or  mishaps.  It  is  also  to  be  hoped  that  the  baby  is 
alive,  and  will  grow  to  be  a  credit  to  his  father,  and 


CALABAZAS. 


Calabazas  (his  foster  father)  which  sadly  needs  a  credit 
to  its  memory.  There  was  never  another  baby  born 
in  the  town,  for  its  people  were  soon  absorbed  by 
Nogales  at  the  L,ine  whence  it  is  but  a  step — safety. 


THE  CALABAZAS  JUSTICE. 


HIS   CONSTABLE — HIS   TROUBLES — THE   FINAL  RIOT — 
HIS   DEPARTURE    FOR    THE   LINE. 

THE  frontier  town  yearns  with  a  consuming  yearn 
for  a  local  government ;  it  matters  not  that  the  town 
is  peopled  by  a  lawless  class,  that  neither  respect  the 
law  nor  fear  its  minions.  Their  yearn  is  as  intense 
and  as  abiding  as  if  they  were  a  peaceful  and  quiet 
community.  Of  the  many  reasons  which  give  rise  to 
this  yearn,  one  is  that  a  system  of  fees  is  provided,  by 
means  of  which  a  constitutionally  lazy  and  shiftless 
portion  of  the  community  is  enabled  to  live  a  life  of 
laborious  ease  at  the  expense  of  the  more  industrious ; 
and  not  the  least  is,  that  the  law  officers  in  a  measure, 
are  of  the  element  that  elects  them  to  office,  and  are 
not  severe  should  a  trivial  difference  of  opinion  as  to 
who  is  the  toughest  citizen  get  a  constituent  into 
trouble  that  would  prove  serious  to  him  if  the  laws 
were  enforced. 

Now,  the  fact  that  the  average  of  Calabazas 
humanity  was  of  unsurpassed  rascality,  did  not  at  all 
lessen  this  paradoxical  desire  for  the  forms  of  law  and 
legal  restraint,  and  it  followed  that  a  universal  cry 


IQ8  CALABAZAS. 

went  up  from  the  one  hundred  or  more  Calabazans  for 
a  local  Justice  of  the  Peace  and  a  Constable.  An 
election  was  ordered,  and  with  a  unanimity  seldom 
seen,  the  choice  of  Justice  fell  upon  Mr.  Drinkwater, 
U.  S.  Custom  Officer,  and  for  Constable,  upon  a  Mr. 
Davis,  both  of  whom  qualified — in  bonds  only — and 
were  duly  installed  after  the  customary  bar-room 
festivities. 

Mr.  Drinkwater,  or  Drinky,  hailed  from  a  highly 
moral  prohibition  State ;  but  it  is  not  to  be  inferred 
that  he  partook  of  any  of  the  high  moral  attributes  of 
that  super- virtuous  State;  in    fact,  as  a  consumer  of 
distilled  liquors,  he  was  as   unexcelled   as  his  other 
fellow -citizens  of  Calabazas  were  unexcelled  in  their 
various  amiable  weaknesses.     After  an  acquaintance 
with  him,  one  ceased  to  wonder  at    the  prohibition 
politics  of  his  native  State.     There  were  no  degrees  in 
his  drunkenness,  he   was  either  dead  sober  or  dead 
drunk;  neither  were  there  any  degrees  in  his  moods; 
he  was  either  on  a  pinnacle  of  hope  and  joy,  or  he  was 
in  the  depths  of  despair.     His  joy  was  intensified  by 
copious  draughts  of  Mescal,   or  still  more  bountiful 
imbibitions  of  the  same    nectar  assuaged    his   grief. 
After  a  few  preliminary  cocktails,  he  was  evenly  bal- 
anced between  excessive  hope  or  the  blackest  despair, 
accompanied  by  tears.     Should  his  thoughts  at  this 
moment  be  crossed  by  visions  of  captured  smugglers 
excessive  hope  of  magnificent  rewrards,  sufficient  for  a 
lifetime  of  heavenly  Mescal,  took  possession  of  him. 
Not  that  he  ever  saw  anything  of  value  smuggled  from 
Mexico,  or  ever  saw  anything  in  Mexico  worth  smug- 
gling out  of  that  blessed  country,  but    Mescal.      In 


THE  JUSTICE.  199 

times  of  danger  or  drouth,  premonitions  of  smugglers, 
called  him  to  the  Line,  where  a  distillery  operated  by 
day  and  night.  Should  the  balance  sink  to  the  side 
of  despair,  fearful  pictures  of  gun-fighters,  bent  on 
avenging  injuries,  assailed  his  fancy,  and  still  more 
frightful  thoughts  of  possible  treasury  agents  visiting 
his  department  in  disguise,  to  call  him  to  account,  in- 
creased his  misery.  Any  self-contained,  reticent 
stranger  around  town  was  sufficient  to  bring  on  him 
a  paroxysm  of  despair,  and  cause  a  temporary  visit  to 
the  Line. 

The  older  saloon  keepers  having — on  bar  tags — 
sufficient  evidences  of  their  misplaced  confidence  in 
his  solvency,  and  as  the  acclimated  citizen  never 
invited  him  to  refresh  at  their  expense,  excepting 
when  they  were  themselves  in  a  maudlin  state  of 
intoxication,  Drinky  was  obliged  to  celebrate  his  joys 
and  drown  his  sorrow  in  Mescal,  a  liquor  of  flaming, 
penetrating  qualities.  Of  this  choice  spirit  he  man- 
aged to  keep  himself  well  supplied  from  the  Nogales 
distillery,  where  it  was  to  be  had  for  fifty  cents  a 
gallon;  therefore  a  visit  to  Nogales,  was  going  from  an 
internal  revenue  purgatory  to  an  untaxed  paradise. 

The  Mexican  stage  was  another  unfailing  source  of 
Mescal  supply ;  the  railroad  laborers  returning  from 
Sonora,  being  generally  loaded  down  with  reserve 
supplies  of  this  liquor.  Drinky's  examination  of  the 
trunks  was  perfunctory,  but  his  search  of  valises  and 
gripsacks  was  rigid.  With  virtuous  indignation  and 
governmental  sternness  would  the  tariff  tax  be  de- 
manded, or  the  Mescal  confiscated.  Taxes  on  occa- 


200  CALABAZAS. 

sional  loads  of  oranges  or  lemons  was  about  all  the 
other  revenue  of  the  office. 

Returns  of  the  confiscated  Mescal  were  made  to  his 
ever  parched  throat.  His  cash  returns  were  made  to 
the  distillery  at  Nogales.  The  El  Paso  Collector  was 
ignored  in  either  case,  hence  Drinky's  continual  fears 
of  treasury  agents.  After  a  successful  cash  foray  on 
stage  passengers  or  orange  freighters,  he  would  leave 
Calabazas  in  ecstacies  of  hope  that  he  might  intercept 
a  band  of  smugglers — which  of  course  would  be  sure 
to  enter  by  the  most  traveled  route, — ride  to  Nogales, 
and  return  full  of  the  glorious  Mescal,  and  a  contingent 
supply,  well  housed  in  two  demijohns,  one  of  which 
would  swing  from  either  side  of  his  saddle  bow. 

Upon  being  elected  Justice,  Drinky,  without  loss  of 
time,  rented  from  himself,  as  Custom  Officer,  the  right 
to  use  the  Custom  House  as  a  Court  room,  which  ar- 
rangement was  favorable  to  -him  from  any  point  of  view 
that  he  looked  at  it.  A  Justice's  Docket  was  bought 
by  popular  subscription.  His  law  library  consisted  of 
a  U.  S.  Revised  Statutes,  one  half  of  a  Pocket  Diction- 
ary, a  treatise  on  Chicken  Culture,  and  a  three  year 
old  Medical  Polyglot  Almanac  in  the  English,  Spanish, 
Scandinavian,  and  Chinese  languages,  bound  in  black, 
upon  which,  on  account  of  its  color  and  vagueness, 
witnesses  were  sworn. 

Davis,  the  Constable,  a  burly  fellow,  claimed  for 
himself  a  fearless  record.  He  carried  a  pocketful  of 
photographs  of  noted  criminals,  and  gazed  long  and 
seriously  at  new  arrivals,  much  to  their  discomposure. 
He  was  never  known  to  be  on  hand  to  quell  a  disturb- 
ance, or  to  arrest  any  one,  but  a  woman  or  Chinaman. 


THE  JUSTICE.  201 

He  made  many  boisterous  starts  after  fleeing  criminals, 
but,  unless  Chinese,  they  invariably  reached  the 
boundary  line  and  safety.  He  had  a  phenomenally 
intelligent  horse  that,  when  chasing  criminals,  never 
failed  to  contract  some  ailment  that  disabled  him,  as 
soon  as  the  little  ridge  was  crossed  that  shut  them  from 
the  view  of  the  town.  A  pebble  in  the  road,  an  un- 
lucky nail,  a  twist  of  the  leg  in  a  rut,  he  never  missed — 
except  when  chasing  a  Chinaman,  who  would  be 
brought  in  triumphal  entry  at  the  animal's  tail. 

Davis  preparing  to  earn  mileage  fees  was  a  sight  to 
be  remembered.  His  splendid  horse,  furnished  with  a 
saddle  that  was  the  choicest  specimen  of  the  Mexican 
saddler's  handiwork,  a  mass  of  ornamented  leather  and 
bearskin,  heavily  silver  mounted,  with  numberless 
buckskin  thongs  flying  about  it;  the  horse's  head 
hidden  in  a  network  of  silver  rosettes  and  hair  bridle 
gear,  connected  with  a  Spanish  bit  large  enough  for  a 
stove  grate,  which,  when  the  horse  champed  upon  it, 
could  be  heard  a  block  away.  Davis  mounted,  som- 
brero on  head,  bearskin  leggings,  riata  tied  to  the 
saddle-horn,  Winchester  rifle  across  the  saddle-bow, 
bowie-knife  in  boot  leg,  two  ivory  handled  revolvers 
slung  to  his  massive  silver  mounted  waist  belt,  full  of 
pistol  cartridges,  and  over  his  shoulders  a  belt  rilled 
with  rifle  cartridges,  was  a  knight  fit  to  capture  the 
State  of  Sonora — without  a  requisition. 

The  crowning  glory  of  his  regalia  were  his  spurs. 
They  were  of  polished,  plated,  and  engraved  steel, 
having  rowels  not  less  than  four  inches  in  diameter. 
Great  twisted,  polished  steel  chains,  looped  over,  under 
and  around  the  foot,  and  fastened  with  heavy  steel 


202  CALABAZAS. 

buckles,  held  the  spurs  in  place.  Pendant  on  either 
side  hung  a  number  of  pear-shaped  steel  buttons,  which 
jingled  musically  when  the  horse  was  in  motion,  and 
warned  fleeing  criminals  that  the  constable  was  on 
their  trail.  On  horseback,  the  spurs  immortalized 
him;  but,  dismounted,  they  detracted  from  his  dignity, 
and  put  him  on  mortal  level.  Afoot,  he  was  a  painful 
sight,  he  walked  as  one  afflicted  with  some  serious 
affection  of  the  knee  joint,  even  the  musical  tinkling 
of  the  bells,  and  his  deadly  decorations  could  not  dis- 
tract attention  from  the  halty,  high  lifted  footsteps 
necessary  to  clear  his  heavy  laden  feet  from  the  ground 
as  he  entered  a  saloon ;  but,  notwithstanding  his  im- 
pressive and  warlike  appearance,  Davis'  campaigns, 
except  after  Chinese,  were  disastrous  failures,  In  the 
expressive  language  of  the  Calabazas  poker  sharp,  the 
Constable  and  Justice  were  "  a  good  pair." 

No  business  of  importance  came  before  the  Justice 
the  first  month  or  two.  A  few  Chinamen  and  Mexi- 
cans, people  whom  no  one  cared  for  except  as  a  source 
of  income,  were  fined  on  general  principles.  These 
fines  supplied  a  grateful,  though  limited,  Mescal  and 
gambling  fund  to  the  officers.  At  length  a  peculiarly 
atrocious  murder  was  committed  at  one  of  the  hurdy- 
houses,  the  particulars  of  which  were  most  foul  and 
brutal. 

In  all  frontier  towns  there  are  a  few  good  natured 
harmless  beings,  almost  imbecile  from  the  alcoholic 
disease,  who  hang  around  saloons  and  hurdy-houses 
doing  menial  chores,  their  sole  pay  being  an  occa- 
sional dime,  or  a  drink  of  the  precious  and  energizing 
whisky ;  their  meals,  fugitive  crackers  and  consump- 


THE  JUSTICE.  203 

tive  sardines  from  the  bar  lunch ;  and  their  beds,  a 
saloon  chair  or  bench.  It  is  an  extraordinary  coinci- 
dence that  they  are  always  known  as  ''Jack"  or 
' '  Billy. ' '  Have  persons  bearing  these  names  a  natural 
tendency  to  go  to  the  devil  ?  Parents  beware ! 

One  of  these  poor  fellows  was  employed  at  the  Big 
Casino  hurdy-house,  to  do  the  chores  and  to  call,  the 
dance  figures.  He  was  pursuing  his  nightly  vocation, 
and  the  dance  was  in  full  progress,  when  the  Big 
Casino  was  entered  by  Rocky  Dick,  a  "bad  man"  of 
Calabazas,  accompanied  by  a  couple  of  friends.  The 
trio  had  been  drinking  heavily,  and  Rocky  Dick  had 
come  to  interview  Harry,  the  proprietor,  for  the  pur- 
pose of  settling  some  ancient  score  or  imagined  insult  ; 
his  friends  accompanied  him  to  see  that  he  received 
fair  play — and  got  the  drop.  Harry  not  being  in,  the 
whisky  laden  voice  of  the  ruffian  was  raised  in  giving 
utterance  to  dire  threats,  and  the  most  fearful,  com- 
plicated, and  abundant  oaths,  confirmatory  of  ,  his 
intention  to  ' '  do  up  "  his  enemy  of  the  Big  Casino  at 
the  first  opportunity. 

His  friends,  armed  to  the  teeth,  stood  around  the 
entrance,  so  that  none  could  leave  the  house  to  warn 
the  expected  victim.  The  music  ceased,  and  the 
dancers  stood  in  their  places;  nothing  was  to  be 
heard  but  the  drunken  voice  of  Rocky  Dick,  cate- 
chising Billy  as  to  the  whereabouts  or  expected  return 
of  the  proprietor.  Poor  Billy,  docile  and  mild  man- 
nered, deprecated  the  wrath  of  Rocky  Dick,  and 
vainly  attempted  to  make  peace  for  his  absent  em- 
ployer. He  tried  to  mollify  Dick  by  proper  humility, 
and  earnestly  insisted  that  he  was  laboring  under 


204  CALABAZAS. 

a  mistake,  caused  by  mischief  makers  who  desired 
to  see  a  fight,  and  told  him  of  the  many  friendly 
expressions  that  Harry  had  used  concerning  him. 

The  result  of  Billy's  friendly  efforts  was  fatal  ta him- 
self, for  instead  of  being  mollified,  Rocky  Dick,  intent 
on  murdering  some  one,  wasted  no  more  time  in 
inconsequent  talk,  but  placidly  rested  the  muzzle  of 
his  revolver  against  William's  head,  and  with  the 
touch  of  a  finger  on  the  trigger,  released  that  friendly 
person  from  all  earthly  cares  and  friendships.  Billy 
had  called  his  last  dance ;  the  unfortunate  fellow  fell 
dead  where  he  had  stood.  The  murderer  ordered  the 
dancing  to  proceed;  and  this  almost  inconceivable 
ruffian,  as  he  stood  by  the  dead  body  of  his  victim 
with  the  smoking  pistol  in  his  hand,  called  out  the 
remaining  figures  of  the  interrupted  quadrille.  When 
the  dance  ended,  Rocky  Dick  stepped  into  the  dark- 
ness, and  was  not  again  seen  in  Calabazas.  Though 
there  were  twenty  armed  men  present,  no  attempt  was 
made  to  arrest  the  murderer.  This  was  the  town's 
first  "natural  death"  since  the  election.  With  the 
disappearance  of  the  murderer,  the  music  and  dancing 
ceased  for  a  night,  but  the  bar  reaped  a  harvest  from 
the  witnesses  to  the  affair,  and  from  those  brought 
there  by  curiosity. 

In  a  few  minutes  all  Calabazas  knew  of  the  murder. 
Drinky  and  Davis  were  hunted  up,  and  much  indigna- 
tion was  expressed  that  they  had  not  been  on  hand  to 
save  Billy's  life.  As  soon  as  it  was  ascertained  that 
the  slayer  had  resigned  the  freedom  of  Calabazas, 
there  was  a  consuming  desire  for  his  arrest ;  every 
man  in  town  offered  to  lend  some  other  man  a  rifle, 


THE  JUSTICE.  205 

or  horse,  or  pistol,  that  the  fugitive  might  be  pursued 
and  arrested.  Davis'  horse  became  suddenly  lame, 
and  Drinky  was  afflicted  with  a  complication  of  dis- 
orders that  kept  him  in  bed.  At  day-light  a  cattle- 
man came  into  town  and  said  that  the  murderer  had 
stopped  at  the  grader's  camp,  and  forced  a  teamster 
to  saddle  a  fine  mule,  which  he  had  then  mounted, 
and  ridden  toward  to  the  L,ine,  thus  adding  to  the 
murder  the  more  heinous  crime — in  Arizona — of  mule 
stealing. 

The  anger  of  the  CalaDazans  now  knew  no  bounds. 
Every  man  in  the  town  was  in  favor  of  every  other 
man  invading  Mexico  to  arrest  this  ruffian,  and  an 
emissary  was  despatched  to  demand  the  presence  of 
the  Justice.  When  that  store  house  of  legal  lore  was 
made  aware  that  the  murderer  was  supposedly  on 
Mexican  soil,  he  became  so  enraged  that  he  arose, 
dressed  himself,  braced  up  with  Mescal,  and  visited 
the  Big  Casino,  where,  before  accepting  treats,  he 
took  a  cursory  view  of  Billy's  dead  body  that  still  lay 
where  it  had  fallen.  After  viewing  the  dead  body, 
indulging  at  the  bar,  and  again  making  sure  that  the 
murderer  had  left  the  Territory,  Drinky,  with  great 
alacrity,  ordered  Davis  to  pursue  and  arrest  him. 
That  valiant  officer  was  neither  a  hasty  nor  incon- 
siderate man,  and  reasoned  with  himself  that  Rocky 
Dick  possibly  had  not  yet  crossed  the  Line,  therefore 
any  hasty  pursuit  might  bring  them  together  more 
closely  than  desirable,  and  informed  Drinky  that  he 
must  issue  a  warrant.  This  the  Justice  refused  to  do 
until  he  had  first  consulted  his  law  library.  Finding 
nothing  in  the  U.  S.  Revised  Statutes,  the  Fragmental 


THK  JUSTICE.  207 

Dictionary,  the  Treatise  on  Chicken  Culture,  or  the 
Polyglot  Almanac,  bearing  upon  a  Justice's  duties,  he 
declined  to  issue  a  warrant  until  after  the  inquest. 
Drinky  feared  that  Rocky  Dick  was  not  surely  out  of 
the  way,  and  that  he  might  take  a  flying  visit  to 
Calabazas,  and  interview  him  concerning  such  a 
serious  breach  of  etiquette. 

Billy's  body  was  brought  to  the  corral,  and  laid  out 
in  a  stall,  for  the  Big  Casino  girls  objected  to 
stumbling  over  it  when  waltzing.  Drinky,  as  coroner, 
immediately  summoned  a  jury,  and  an  inquest  was 
held.  The  jury  viewed  the  body,  to  re-assure  them- 
selves that  Billy  was  still  dead,  and,  returning  to  the 
courtroom,  took  in  all  the  evidence,  whisky  and 
cigars  brought  forward.  Drinky  consulted  the  Re- 
vised Statutes.  Whilst  reading,  the  news  came  in 
that  the  murderer  had  been  seen  coming  toward 
Calabazas.  Drinky  immediately  charged  the  jury  to 
bring  in  a  verdict  of  "death  from  natural  causes," 
for,  said  he,  "When  Rocky  wanted  Casino  Harry, 
Billy  should  not  have  argued  with  him  ;  and  it  was 
only  natural  that  he  should  suffer  for  unnecessarily 
drawing  Rocky 's  anger  upon  himself."  One-half  of 
the  jury  brought  in  a  verdict  of  "  murder,"  which  was 
contrary  to  instructions  ;  the  other  half  brought  in  a 
verdict  as  directed,  "death  from  natural  causes," 
which  was  entered,  and  Billy  was  then  planted  upon 
the  mesa  with  about  as  much  ceremony  as  a  fence 
post. 

The  verdict  caused  much  feeling  among  those  not 
identified  with  the  proceedings,  and  therefore  had 
nothing  to  fear  from  Rocky  Dick.  These  citizens, 


208  CALABAZAS. 

backed  by  the  legal  advice  of  Crandall,  demanded 
that  a  warrant  be  issued.  About  the  same  time,  a 
party  just  from  Nogales  said  the  murderer  had  been 
seen  a  little  beyond  the  line.  Upon  hearing  this, 
Drinky  erased  the  verdict  of  ' '  death  from  natural 
causes,"  and  inserted,  "  death  from  a  gun  shot  wound 
fired  with  murderous  intent  by  Rocky  Dick,"  and 
issued  a  warrant  for  that  gentleman's  immediate 
arrest.  Davis,  donning  his  regalia  to  the  last  cart- 
ridge, mounted  his  horse — that  sagacious  animal 
having  recovered  from  his  temporary  ailment — and 
soon  disappeared  behind  the  ridge  at  the  head  of  the 
valley. 

Davis,  when  he  left  Calabazas,  felt  fully  assured 
that  Rocky  Dick,  after  stealing  the  mule,  had  ridden 
safely  into  Mexico.  If  his  deductions  were  correct, 
his  duty  would  end  when  he  reached  Nogales,  and 
was  assured  there  that  the  murderer  had  passed  on  his 
way  south,  for  on  no  account  would  he  invade  a 
friendly  State  after  him.  Feeling  secure  in  his  belief, 
Davis  rode  leisurely  along  the  dusty  road.  The  jingle 
of  his  war-like  accoutrements  kept  time  to  the  half 
trot,  half  walking  gait  of  his  horse.  The  broad  brim 
of  his  hat  was  pulled  down  to  shade  his  eyes  from  the 
glaring  sun,  and  he  was  thinking  intently  of  the 
lucky  windfall  in  fees  that  the  murder  would  bring 
him.  Abstruse  calculations  concerning  the  number 
of  miles  he  could  ride  at  fifteen  cents  a  mile,  while 
hunting  Rocky,  caused  thoughtful  wrinkles  to  cover 
his  forehead.  Extradition  papers  might  be  issued 
that  would  enable  him  to  profitably  extend  his  trip 
over  the  Mexican  States,  after  the  roads  and  trails  had 


THE  JUSTICE.  209 

been  exhausted  in  making  mileage  throughout  Ari- 
zona and  New  Mexico.  He  would  write  to  friends  in 
the  various  towns  asking  them  to  tell  the  local  papers 
that  they  had  seen  Rocky  at  those  places.  Of  course 
he  would  have  to  go  and  investigate,  the  mileage 
would  be  all  right.  If  he  could  only  sneak  up  on  Dick 
and  get  the  drop.  "  If— Ah  !  I  have  it.  The  Mexi- 
can officers!  The  Costa  Garde !  that's  it,  they  aint 
afraid  of  the  devil ! ' '  For  twenty  dollars  they  would 
follow  and  arrest,  or  kill  Rocky ;  wrould  bind  him  hand 
and  foot  and  deliver  him  over  now,  or  hold  him  in  the 
hills  till  a  reward  was  offered,  and  then  divide.  He 
would  tackle  them  as  soon  as  he  reached  Nogales. 
Rocky  "wasn't  no  pigeon,"  and  maybe  the  boys 
wouldn't  think  he  had  nerve  when  he  brought  him  in 
— oh,  no  !  Ha,  ha !  he  would  tell  how  he  trailed 
him  into  Mexico  and  rode  into  his  ambush,  and 
Rocky  had  the  drop  ;  but,  before  he  could  shoot,  he 
just  slid  off  his  horse  on  the  far  side,  drew  a  bead  on 
Rocky,  and — 

' '  Hey,  there  !  you !  hold  up  your 

hands!"  Bang! 

At  the  sound  of  the  shot,  Davis  instinctively  hugged 
his  horse's  neck.  The  frightened  animal  reared  and, 
before  he  could  be  checked,  was  within  a  few  feet  of 
Rocky,  who,  pistol  in  hand,  stood  under  the  bushes  in 
a  little  stream  that  washed  the  foot  of  the  hill,  around 
which  the  road  suddenly  turned,  and  Davis  would 
have  seen  him  first  if  that  astute  officer  had  not  been 
so  intently  thinking  of  mileage,  rewards,  and  the  lies 
to  be  told  his  constituents. 

In   his  efforts  to  check  the  frightened  horse,   the 


2IO  CALABAZAS. 

worse  frightened  constable  let  fall  his  rifle,  and  lost 
his  pistols  from  the  holsters  at  his  waist.  In  spite  of 
his  surprise  and  struggle  with  the  horse,  he  retained 
enough  presence  of  mind  to  yell  lustily, 

"I'll  stop!  -   — ,  don't  shoot!  L,et  go,  Rocky !- 
the  horse !  hold  down  your  gun !  Iain'  tnothing  against 

you !  Whoa  ! you  ! ' ' 

With  a  watchful  eye  and  sarcastic  grin  Rocky  Dick 
waited  until  the  horse  was  quieted,  and  then  said, 
while  he  kept  his  pistol  levelled  on  Davis, 
* '  Put  them  hams  up,  and  no  fooling. ' ' 
The  constable's  hands  went  up  in  a  flash.  Rocky 
then  stepped  out  into  the  road,  picked  up  the  rifle  and 
pistols,  took  the  knife  from  Davis'  boot  leg,  and  made 
him  throw  his  shoulder  and  waist  cartridge  belts  to 
the  roadside.  Rocky  tossed  the  newly  acquired  war 
material  into  the  bushes  across  the  stream,  and  took 
up  his  first  position  with  his  feet  in  the  water,  never 
letting  Davis  get  from  before  the  pistol.  He  now 
asked  him,  "  L,ooking  for  me?  I  ought  to  give  you 
one  for  luck." 

11  Who?  Me?  Why,  I  never  lost  you,  Dick!  " 
' '  What  in  the  devil  are  you  doing  here  then  ?  ' ' 
"Who?  Me?  Why,  I  was  just  going  to  Nogales." 
"You    were,    hey?"    (sarcastically):    "Yes,    you 
were."    (Fiercely):  "  Well,  youain'tgoing  to  no  — 
Nogales." 

' '  Why,  I  don't  want  you,  Dick.  I  haven't  anything 
against  you,  nor  you  against  me.  looking  for  you ! 
Blazes,  Dick,  there  ain't  no  reward  out  for  you  yet!  I 
ain't  working  for  my  health.  I  wouldn't  arrest  you 
now!  " 


THE  JUSTICE.  211 

Dick  (sotto  voce)  :  "Arrest  -  — ,  I  guess  not!" 
"Say,  Rocky,  honest,  what  made  you  kill  Billy?" 
"It  was  an  accident,  Davis.  I  was  full,  and  I  shot 
him  before  I  thought.     Harry  was  the  man  I  wanted. 
I  was  Billy's  friend,  and  if  you  fellows  will  square 
things,  I'll  pay  all  the  burying  expenses  and  put  up  a 
nice  stone. ' ' 

Davis  gave  Dick  all  of  the  Calabazas  news,  and  Dick 
explained  that  he  was  foot  sore  from  running  to  the 
graders  camp,  and  had  camped  so  near  the  Line, 
because  he  had  no  money  to  pay  the  Mexican's  duty  on 
his  mule ;  he  was  now  waiting  for  his  friends  to  bring 
him  some  money.  The  two  exchanged  opinions  on 
the  merits  of  the  various  kinds  of  pistols,  and  Davis 
condoled  with  Rocky  on  the  hard  times  he  would  have 
among  the  "Greasers."  Having  conversationally 
smoothed  the  way,  Davis  now  made  urgent  and  pitiful 
appeals  to  Dick  to  return  him  the  weapons,  after  un- 
loading them,  and  taking  the  cartridges  from  the  belts. 
He  protested  his  friendship,  and  tried  to  impress  Dick 
with  the  ridiculousness  of  thinking  any  law  officer 
would  look  for  him  until  a  reward  was  offered.  With 
almost  tears  in  his  eyes,  and  a  whining  voice,  he  spoke 
of  the  scorn  that  he  would  meet  with  from  the  Cala- 
bazans  if  he  should  return  in  such  a  plight ;  but  Rocky 
was  unmoved,  and  only  said  "Rats."  He  was  as 
adamant,  no  appeal,  no  fervid  tender  of  friendship,  no 
strenuous  denial  of  intention  to  arrest  could  move  him, 
he  simply  said,  "  Now  you  git." 

Davis  turned  his  horse  homeward,  and  had  dejectedly 
gone  but  a  few  feet,  when  he  suddenly  brightened  up, 


212  CALABAZAS. 

checked  his  horse,  turned  himself  in  the  saddle,  and 
hailed  Rocky : 

"Say,  Rocky,  you're  jam  up  on  the  lyine  and  can 
step  over  in  a  minute,  spose  you  let  me  take  the  mule 
home ;  the  boys  are  out  on  a  hunt  for  it,  and  there'll 
be  trouble  if  they  drop  along." 

Rocky  grasped  at  this  opportunity  for  ridding  him- 
self of  some  of  his  enemies,  and  gratefully  said, 

"  That's  so.  Thanks,  old  pard.  Wait  a  minute  and 
I'll  get  him  for  you." 

While  Dick  was  putting  an  old  saddle  and  bridle  on 
the  mule,  Davis  actually  began  to  whistle  softly  as  he 
thought  of  leading  the  animal  into  town  and  the  plaus- 
ible story  he  would  tell  of  how,  after  a  desperate  chase 
he  had  lost  Dick,  but  had  captured  the  mule,  and  that 
the  Mexican  officers  had  confiscated  his  weapons, 
because  he  had  come  armed  into  Mexico.  At  this 
moment  Dick  led  the  mule  to  Davis,  and  said,  "  Now, 
you  take  the  mule  back  to  the  boys,  and  tell  them  I'll 
do  as  much  for  them  some  day." 

11  All  right,"  said  Davis,  as  he  reached  out  for  the 
mule's  bridle;  "you  are  doing  the  square  thing. 
So  long  old  man." 

11  But,"  said  Dick,  " you'd  better  ride  the  mule." 

"  Oh,  I  can  lead  him,"  said  Davis. 

4  *  Get  down  off  that  horse  ! ' '  sternly  commanded 
Dick,  raising  his  pistol,  "  I'm  going  to  trade  you." 

Davis  did  not  care  about  trading,  but  Rocky  and 
the  pistol  were  so  persistent  that  he  slowly  dismounted 
and  began  unsaddling  his  horse. 

"  None  of  that,"  said  Dick.  "We'll  trade  even  ;" 
and  he  said  it  so  shortly,  that  Davis  hurriedly  mounted 


THK  JUSTICE.  213 

the  mule  and  again  headed  for  Calabazas,  cursing  him- 
self for  his  unfortunate  suggestion  to  Dick. 

Now,  although  Davis  had  ridden  but  nine  miles 
after  leaving  Calabazas,  he  journeyed  one  hundred  and 
thirty  miles  before  again  reaching  that  haven ;  for  as 
soon  as  he  was  out  of  Rocky 's  sight,  he  cut  across  the 
mesas,  and,  avoiding  Calabazas  or  other  settlements, 
rode  straight  for  Tucson,  where  he  arrived  the  next 
night.  There  he  purchased  new  weapons,  and  returned 
to  Calabazas  a  week  after  leaving  in  pursuit  of  Dick. 
He  told  a  lurid  story  of  his  chase  after  Dick,  of  trailing 
him  with  blood-hound  sagacity  ;  of  having  chased  him 
into  a  canon,  and  just  as  he  had  done  so,  the  Mexicans 
had  arrested  him  for  coming  armed  and  without  a 
requisition  into  Mexico  after  a  criminal,  and  of  having 
to  bribe  the  Mexican  officer  with  his  horse  and  saddle 
to  release  him,  and  much  more  to  the  same  effect.  In 
conclusion,  he  said  that  Rocky  had  talked  with  him 
after  the  Mexicans  interfered,  saying,  that  the  killing 
of  Billy  was  an  accident,  and  as  soon  as  he  could  get 
bonds,  he  was  going  to  return  and  surrender  himself, 
and  would  make  it  hot  for  his  enemies. 

When  Drinky  heard  this,  he  was  all  upset.  Rocky 
coming  back  to  surrender  himself !  These  bad  men 
were  full  of  deceit,  and  so  unreliable ! 

His  fertility  of  resource  again  came  into  play ;  he 
erased  the  verdict  of  "  murder  "  from  his  docket,  and 
inserted  therein  that  Billy  had  '  'died  from  the  accidental 
discharge  of  a  pistol  wound  in  the  hand  of  Rocky  Dick." 

The  murderer  was  afterward  strung  up  by  some 
railroad  hands  in  Sonora,  whom  he  had  offended. 
Pete-the-rancher,  who  had  been  an  unseen  witness  to 


214  CALABAZAS. 

the  meeting  between  Rocky  and  Davis,  eventually 
gave  the  true  version  of  the  affair. 

During  one  of  Drinky's  periodical  visits  to  the  Line, 
in  pursuit  of  his  special  happiness,  a  fight  took  place 
between  two  hurdy  girls.  The  combatants  were 
arrested  by  the  vigilant  Davis,  and  incarcerated  in  the 
corral.  A  deputy  was  sworn  in  to  keep  strict  watch 
and  ward  that  they  might  not  escape,  and  cause  the 
loss  of  numerous  Mescals  or  poker-chips  for  which 
their  fines  would  pay.  Davis  hunted  up  Drinky,  who, 
without  loss  of  time,  returned  and  convened  court. 
Drinky  was  a  prudent  Justice.  In  his  court ' '  Plaintiff' ' 
and  "Defendant,"  as  distinguishing  legal  terms,  were 
replaced  by  ' '  Cash  "  and  * '  No  Cash. ' '  If  the  defend- 
ant was  * '  broke, ' '  and  the  plaintiff  ' '  flush, ' '  the  plain- 
tiff was  fined  all  the  traffic  would  bear  ;  if  vice  versa, 
then  vice  versa.  If  both  had  money,  a  fine  was 
imposed  on  each.  He  could  see  neither  sense  nor 
profit  in  locking  up  penniless  persons  just  to  feed  and 
watch,  and  two  penniless  offenders  would  not  be 
arrested.  As  his  decisions  of  this  character  had 
affected  none  but  miners,  laborers — who  were  friend- 
less till  pay  day — or  women,  no  great  umbrage  was 
taken  ;  to  the  contrary,  the  Calabazans  rather  justified 
his  methods,  as  the  money  was  but  a  few  hours  pass- 
ing from  the  court's  hands  into  theirs. 

The  Court  was  called  to  such  order  as  might  be 
possible,  where  Judge,  Constable,  prisoners,  witnesses, 
and  spectators  were  standing,  lounging  or  sitting 
around,  chewing,  smoking,  and  talking  in  a  small 
room.  During  the  trial,  the  witnesses  and  prisoners 
had  no  false  delicacy  about  giving  the  lie  direct  to 


THE  JUSTICE.  215 

each  other,  or  to  the  Hon.  Justice,  as  the  occasion 
might  demand.  Such  gross  breaches  of  legal  decorum 
were  punished  by  a  fine  in  one  breath,  to  be  remitted 
in  the  next — should  the  fined  ones  hint  that  they 
might  have  a  word  to  say  after  Court  adjourned.  As 
no  fighting  man  appeared  in  behalf  of  the  plaintiff,  and 
a  very  tough  one  championed  the  defendant,  the 
Court,  irrespective  of  the  evidence,  fined  the  plaintiff 
forty-five  dollars  or  thirty  days  in  the  corral ;  for,  as 
he  said,  she  could  have  run  away  and  avoided  the  con- 
flict. The  Court  also  felt  sure  that  the  other  girls 
would  subscribe  and  pay  the  fine.  The  convicted  girl, 
being  far  more  valuable  in  a  hurdy-house  than  as  a 
corral  inmate,  Boston  Charlie,  a  hurdy  man,  paid  her 
fine,  and  carried  her  off  in  triumph.  Drinky  was 
again  possessed  of  a  Mescal  fund  of  magnitude  and 
dimensions,  which  was  speedily  divided  between  him- 
self and  Davis,  both  of  whom  sought  a  favorite  saloon 
and  game,  to  be  in  a  few  hours  as  bankrupt  as  before. 

Now  it  was  that  Drinky  was  to  find  that  ' '  Uneasy 
lies  the  head  that  wears  a  crown."  Scarcely  had  he 
retired  in  the  morning  to  snatch  a  much  needed  rest, 
after  a  night's  vigils  at  the  faro  table,  than  he  was 
confronted  by  the  hurdy-man  who  had  so  chivalrously 
paid  the  girl's  fine.  The  gentleman  was  fully 
"heeled,"  and,  without  unnecessary  ceremony,  in 
tones  forcible  and  profane,  demanded  of  Drinky  that 
he  "fork  over  that  forty-five  dollars,  and  fork  it  over 
pretty-  -quick." 

This  abrupt  and  businesslike  cavalier  curtly  ex- 
plained that  the  girl  had  promised  to  dance  in  his 
house  if  he  would  pay  her  fine.  A  difference  of  opinion 


2l6  CALABAZAS. 

had  arisen  between  them  while  worshipping  at  the 
shrine  of  Bacchus,  he  claiming  that  she  should  work 
it  out,  and  she,  that  the  payment  was  in  the  nature  of 
a  royalty  or  retainer,  to  insure  her  charming  presence 
in  his  saloon.  Not  being  able  to  reconcile  their  differ- 
ences, she,  with  the  treachery  and  venom  that  is 
inherent  in  the  female  sex,  absconded  to  a  rival  house ; 
therefore,  as  he  tersely  said,  "he'd  be  -  -  if  he  was 
sucker  enough  to  pay  any  forty-five  dollars  for  her." 
When  Drinky  had  sufficiently  recovered  from  the 
shock  brought  on  him  by  this  sudden  and  unparalleled 
demand,  he  vainly  reasoned  with  the  reclamatory 
hurdy-man.  He  spoke  of  the  dignity  attached  to  the 
office  of  Justice ;  the  man  said  there  was  just  as  much 
dignity  in  forty-five  dollars.  Then  Drinky  laid  down 
the  law,  as  set  forth  in  the  U.  S.  Revised  Statutes, 
the  Chicken  Compendium,  the  lacerated  Dictionary, 
and  the  Polyglot  Almanac.  The  hurdy-man  defied 
the  law  and  condemned  the  law-makers.  Drinky  then 
said  that  he  should  not  be  expected  to  make  restitution 
of  more  than  one-half  the  money,  as  Davis  had  the 
other  half.  The  hurdy-man  said  that  he  had  given  no 
money  to  Davis  ;  if  Drinky  had  he  had  better  take  it 
out  of  Davis'  hide — something  Drinky  was  incapable 
of  doing.  Drinky  was  in  desperate  straits;  he  had 
not  anticipated  this.  He  was  without  a  dollar,  and 
the  man  facing  him  had  two  pistols,  and  an  extremely 
wicked  glare  in  his  eyes.  The  girl  could  not  be  re- 
arrested,  for  the  fine  had  been  paid  and  she  had  been 
discharged.  Bewildered  by  the  magnitude  of  his 
trouble,  Drinky  begged  for  time ;  the  hurdy-man  com- 
placently granted  him  two  hours — in  his  comnany. 


THE  JUSTICE.  2iy 

In  company  with  Boston  Charlie  and  sudden  death, 
Drinky  started  on  a  forlorn  hunt  after  the  necessary 
forty-five  dollars  and  salvation.  The  sympathetically 
offered  whiskies,  gins,  and  Mescals,  had  no  enticement 
for  him  in  his  great  tribulation.  He  could  find  no  one 
who  cared  to  make  a  total  loss  of  forty-five  dollars,  by 
loaning  it  to  a  gentleman  of  his  known  financial  shaki- 
ness,  and  each  refusal  plunged  him  into  deeper  despair. 
Unsuccessfully  he  tried  to  borrow  the  whole  amount 
from  one  person,  or  portions  of  it  from  several.  He  was 
about  to  give  up  in  despair  and  let  the  hurdy-man 
work  his  will,  when  he  thought  of  his  friend  the  store- 
keeper. It  was  his  last  chance,  and  he  would  try  him. 
He  appealed  to  the  storekeeper,  and  poured  forth  his 
tale  of  woe,  the  hurdy-man  meanwhile  standing 
grimly  by.  When  Drinky  had  finished  his  story,  the 
storekeeper  shook  his  head  negatively,  could  not  ac- 
commodate him— Tucson  remittances,  etc. 

Standing  near  Drinky  as  he  made  his  appeal  was  an 
Englishman — a  rosy  cheeked,  quiet,  good-natured 
looking  fellow,  one  of  those  who  wear  cork  hats  and 
Havelocks  indiscriminately  at  the  Pyramids  or  on  an 
Arctic  glacier,  and  devote  their  lives  to  globe  trotting. 
One  whom  the  customs  of  Calabazas  had  kept  in  a  per- 
petual fog  of  astonishment,  and  afloat  with  brandy 
and  soda. 

He  had  listened  intently  to  the  blood-curdling  tale, 
of  the  consequences  that  would  ensue  if  the  forty-five 
dollars  were  not  forthcoming,  and,  as  Drinky  turned 
despairingly  away,  he  quickty,  and  without  comment, 
slipped  two  twenties  and  a  ten  dollar  gold  piece  into 
his  hand.  Drinky  almost  burst  a  blood  vessel  in  the 


218  CALABAZAS. 

excess  of  his  bewilderment ;  a  total  change  came  over 
himself  and  Boston  Charlie.  He  passed  the  two 
twenties  to  Charlie,  and  gazed  at  the  remaining  ten 
with  unalloyed  pleasure.  Enough  would  remain  for 
many  joyful  and  blissful  Mescals.  Boston  Charlie 
avariciously  eyeing  the  ten,  grasped  Drinky's  hand 
fervently,  saying,  "  Drinky,  old  man,  you  are  all  right; 
I  haven't  anything  agin  you ;  come  down  to-night  and 
have  a  dance  and  a  time  with  me. " 

Answered  Drinky:  "I  say,  Charlie,  let  us  call 
heads  or  tails  to  see  who  shall  take  the  whole  ten." 
Charlie  agreed,  and  they  flipped  the  gold  piece  right 
before  that  surprised  Briton's  face.  Drinky  winning 
the  money,  they  left  the  store  arm  in  arm,  the  Judge 
first  telling  his  benefactor,  with  great  dignity,  that 
he  was  obliged  for  the  temporary  accommodation,  and 
as  he  expected  his  salary  warrant  in  a  day  or  two, 
would  repay  him.  There  were  no  strings  on  his 
expectations,  though  there  were  many  on  his  salary, 
which  was  invariably  discounted  six  months  ahead. 
Neither  Drinky  nor  Charlie  invited  the  Englishman 
to  refresh  himself  at  his  own  expense,  nor  was  the 
money  repaid  him.  The  following  morning  he  left  for 
Mexico,  whence  he  had  come. 

After  Drinky  had  parted  from  Boston  Charlie,  he 
met  Crandall,  who  advised  that  a  full  entry  be  made 
on  the  Docket  that  the  forty-five  dollars  had  been 
returned  under  threats  and  duress,  for  by  doing  this 
he  could  keep  his  Docket  straight,  and  not  be  forced 
to  account  for  the  fine  to  the  county.  He  had  already 
erased  the  conviction  and  fine  entry,  and  had  entered 
up  an  acquittal  of  the  girl ;  but  as  he  thought  Cran- 


THE  JUSTICE. 

dall's  advice  was  sound,  his  handy  knife  erased  the 
verdict  of  acquittal,  and  re-entered  the  conviction  and 
fine  ;  also  that  the  fine  had  been  returned  under 
duress,  and  threats  of  great  bodily  harm. 

Now  Charlie  being  a  shrewd  fellow,  upon  whom 
were  no  flies — but  the  Calabazas  ones — suspected 
that  Drinky  would,  as  usual,  tamper  with  the  Docket, 
to  the  future  peril  of  his  (Charlie's)  peace  and  person, 
therefore  the  next  day  he  honored  "Old  Man" 
Drinky  with  another  visit,  and  demanded  to  see  the 
Docket.  When  the  ponderous  tome  was  opened  and 
read,  he  levelled  his  cocked  pistol  at  "Old  Boy" 
Drinky 's  head,  and  prevailed  upon  him  to  erase  all 
that  reflected  upon  him  (Charlie)  in  any  way,  and  to 
let  the  conviction  stand  with  the  fine  entered  as  paid. 

Drinky  began  to  tire  of  judicial  honors.  His 
judge's  couch  had  been  one  of  thorns  instead  of  roses. 
There  were  too  many  dangers  to  be  apprehended  from 
bad  men,  who  might  object  to  his  decisions  if  not  in 
consonance  with  their  wishes.  Though  the  fees  and 
fines,  when  collected,  supplied  abundant  Mescal 
money,  they  were  too  transitory ;  too  many  of  the  fined 
recalled  their  money  after  it  had  been  spent,  and  they 
were  therefore  more  in  the  nature  of  temporary  loans. 
Again,  the  county  officers  might  call  for  his  docket, 
and  demand  an  account ;  in  fact,  the  office  was  so  sur- 
rounded with  disagreeable  contingencies  that  he 
decided  to  resign  and  retire  to  private  life.  It  was  a 
solace  that  his  bondsmen  were  worthless,  and  could  not 
be  injured  in  any  event. 

Drinky  was  foolish  enough  to  openly  signify  his 
intention  of  resigning.  As  this  would  be  an  indelible 


220  CALABAZAS. 

disgrace  to  Calabazas,  several  of  the  more  patriotic 
citizens  met,  and  being  fully  armed,  not  tonly  con- 
vinced him  that  it  would  be  very  unadvisable  to  think 
of  resigning,  but  extremely  dangerous  as  well.  With 
great  cunning  Drinky  then  induced  his  bondsmen  to 
withdraw.  When  it  was  known  that  the  bondsmen 
had  withdrawn,  it  was  surprising  to  see  the  number 
of  hurdy-men  and  rustlers  who  insisted  upon  going  on 
his  bonds.  At  last  Drinky  reconciled  himself,  and 
made  no  further  attempts  to  go  contrary  to  the  '  *  popu- 
lar will." 

Having,  in  his  capacity  as  coroner  and  police  magis- 
trate, made  his  mark,  or  several  of  them,  and  rubbed 
them  out,  and  replaced  them  with  other  marks,  Drinky, 
it  was  natural  to  think,  would  now  wear  his  enforced 
ermine  with  some  pride  and  pleasure;  but  for  him 
neither  pride  nor  pleasure  existed  when  the  income 
was  insecure,  and  his  Docket  showed  a  large  indebt- 
edness to  the  County.  This  last  did  not  keep  him 
awake  at  all,  for  it  was  only  a  short  distance  to  the 
Line  and  the  cancellation  of  all  Arizona  debts;  but 
Mescal  money  was  a  desideratum,  and  he  ever  prayed 
for  fees  to  come,  upon  which  there  could  be  no  reclama- 
tion. He  looked  with  jaundiced  eyes  on  Davis,  who 
never  divided  or  refunded,  and  whose  monthly  mileage 
fees  were  enough  to  have  carried  him  all  over  Arizona. 

Early  one  morning,  Drinky,  cold  sober,  was  in  a 
mournful,  bemoaning  reverie  over  the  bitter  fate  that 
had  left  him  barren  of  a  Mescal  stake,  and  taxing  his 
ingenuity  to  conceive  some  way  of  raising  such  stake, 
when  he  was  interrupted  by  Casino  Harry,  who  dropped 
in  to  say  that  he  wanted  a  wedding  ceremony  per- 


THE  JUSTICE.  221 

formed  between  himself  and  Bonnie,  who  had  been  in 
the  dumps  since  the  Calabazas  Baby  had  gone  over  the 
Line.  Crandall  had  informed  them  that  Drinky  could 
get  them  into  fully  as  much  trouble  as  any  preacher 
or  priest  in  America;  hence  the  call  upon  him. 
Harry  stated  he  preferred  it  that  way,  because,  since 
the  Rev.  Jones'  experience  he  had  "  kinder  lost  faith 
in  the  gospel  sharps. ' '  He  also  said  that  they  wished 
to  be  married  that  night,  but  on  no  account  for  him  to 
mention  it,  for  he  "  didn't  want  to  be  joshed  or  have 
any  monkey  business  about  it. "  As  an  earnest  that 
no  rebating  or  dead  heading  was  expected,  he  handed 
the  thirsty  Justice  a  ten  dollar  piece,  which  so  surprised 
Drinky  that  he  almost  fainted. 

Drinky  immediately  perched  on  the  loftiest  pinnacle 
of  hope ;  he  could  hardly  be  restrained  from  instantly 
setting  forth  for  the  Line,  where  he  felt  assured  that 
vast  hordes  of  smugglers  were  in  the  distillery,  prepar- 
ing to  cross  with  the  wealth  of  the  Indies.  He  was 
prevailed  upon  to  subside  himself  by  the  hurdy-girls, 
that  had  dropped  in  to  assist  in  decorating  the  room, 
and  who,  without  awaiting  Drinky 's  pleasure,  cleaned 
up  and  arranged  the  room  to  suit  their  own  taste. 
The  cracker  boxes  were  unceremoniously  chucked  out 
of  the  window.  The  table  was  moved  to  one  end  of 
the  room,  and  over  it  was  festooned  the  American  flag, 
belonging  to  the  Custom  House.  Cottonwood  boughs 
were  tied  to  the  ceiling  joists  to  give  the  room  a 
bowery  appearance,  and  chairs  were  brought  in  and 
arranged  around  the  sides.  At  the  opposite  end  from 
the  table,  a  corner  was  partitioned  off  by  means  of 
several  sheets  pinned  together ;  this  was  to  be  a  vestal 


222  CALABAZAS. 

chamber,  in  which  the  bride  could  remain  with  her 
friends,  until  composed  enough  to  sacrifice  herself  on 
the  altar  of  matrimony. 

Finding  himself  ignored  and  treated  with  contumely 
by  the  ladies,  Drinky  adjourned  to  the  saloon  under- 
neath. Now  when  Drinky,  ten  dollars  and  a  bar 
were  in  conjunction,  there  was  a  powerful  pull  all 
around,  powerful  enough  to  increase  the  eccentricity 
of  his  orbit  and  pull  him  to  the  floor — in  most  instances. 

He  was  in  the  bar-room  but  a  few  minutes,  be- 
fore the  bottle  and  ten  dollar  piece  were  convivi- 
ally  tapped.  Drinky  was  very  thoughtful,  and  each 
drink  increased  his  solemnity.  Presently,  between 
drinks,  he  leaned  over  and  confidentially  asked  the  bar- 
keeper if  he  had  a  prayer  book.  That  worthy,  with- 
out loss  of  time,  placed  his  revolver  where  it  could  be 
reached  readily,  should  Drinky  give  further  evidence 
of  being  dangerously  insane,  and  shortly  answered, 
14  Naw,  and  you  don't  git  no  more  liquor  here  nuther." 
Drinky  hereupon,  being  stricken  with  a  great  whisky 
grief,  seated  himself  on  a  cracker  box.  sobbed  for  a  few 
moments,  and  then,  wiping  his  eyes,  asked,  "Did  you 
ever  marry  anybody?" 

This  was  too  much,  it  was  infringing  on  the  sacred 
feelings  of  friendship.  No  man  could  stand  having  such 
unheard  of  questions  propounded  in  dead  earnest,  and 
not  cut  loose  from  all  ties  of  amity  and  friendship. 
Drinky  was  up  to  something,  and  would  maybe  hoodoo 
the  house.  Great  Caesar !  he  might  kneel  down  and 
begin  praying  right  where  he  was !  The  very  thought 
of  such  a  disaster  almost  stopped  the  barkeeper's  heart 
beat;  he  grabbed  the  pistol  in  one  hand,  rushed  to 


THE  JUSTICE.  223 

Drinky,  caught  that  much  changed  gentleman  by  the 
scruff  of  the  neck,  and  hustled  him  from  the  place 
with  "  It's  none  of  your  -  -  business,  -  -  may  I  be 

— .  By  the  jumping  — !  it's  my 
business  whether  I  ever  married  anybody  or  not ; ' ' 
and  re-entered  the  saloon,  where  he  sat  perspiring, 
swearing,  and  casting  baleful  glances  at  the  Judge, 
who  had  fallen  on  his  hands  and  knees,  and  remained 
in  that  position  crying,  or  singing  that  ' '  A  bird  sat  on 
a  hickory  limb,"  to  the  tune  of  "Nearer  my  God  to 
Thee. ' '  Cum  Sing  hearing  the  sob-laden  song,  came 
out  and  straightened  him  up.  Drinky  leaned  heavily 
on  him,  and  tearfully  asked  if  he  was  married.  Cum 
Sing,  fully  as  much  surprised  as  had  been  the  bar- 
keeper, shook  himself  loose  from  his  questioner,  and 
went  into  the  hotel,  muttering,  "D'linky  him  clazy  ; 
wha's  malla  him  ?  Wha  fo'  me  get  mallied  ?  He 
allee  time  d'lunk.  Umph  ! ' ' 

After  standing  for  a  minute  or  two  in  the  street, 
Drinky  staggered  upstairs  to  his  office.  The  room  had 
been  prepared  for  the  wedding,  and  the  girls  had  left. 
He  sat  by  the  table,  and,  resting  his  head  on  his  arm, 
slept  a  short  time.  Awakening,  he  went  to  the 
library  shelf,  took  down  his  favorite  books  of  refer- 
ence, and  from  behind  them  a  bottle  half  full  of 
Mescal,  hidden  away  in  more  prosperous  times  to  tide 
over  famine  periods.  He  brought  them  to  the  table, 
opened  the  books,  and,  laying  them  to  his  hand,  took 
a  swig  from  the  bottle. 

Having  never  witnessed  a  wedding,  he  was  com- 
pletely at  loss,  and  closely  scanned  the  books  to  find 
something  bearing  upon  marriage,  but  could  find 


224  CALABAZAS. 

nothing  on  the  subject,  excepting  in  the  Chicken 
Treatise,  and  that  was  an  article  on  the  proper  method 
of  mating  buff-cochin  fowls.  He  closed  his  books 
with  a  sigh,  took  another  swig  from  the  bottle,  and 
determined  to  look  around  for  some  person  who  had 
been  married,  to  enlighten  him.  Unfortunately, 
Crandall  was  in  Tucson.  Hearing  the  Tucson  stage 
in,  he  went  downstairs  hoping  that  Crandall  might  be 
a  passenger.  But  there  were  two  or  three  women  and 
a  Mexican  only.  The  women  went  into  the  Palace 
Hotel  to  wait  until  the  stage  started,  and  Drinky  went 
on  his  hunt  after  marriage  information.  Seeing  the 
storekeeper  standing  in  his  door,  he  walked  over,  and 
after  a  fewr  preliminary  remarks,  asked  abruptly, 

"  Say,  were  you  ever  married  ?" 

The  storekeeper  turned  as  white  as  a  sheet,  and 
asked  in  turn, 

' '  What  do  you  ask  me  that  for  ?" 

1 '  Because  I  want  to  know.  * ' 

"  What  do  you  want  to  know  for  ?" 

"  I  won't  tell  you  till  you  answer  my  question." 

"Well — (pretending  to  see  a  customer  in  the  store) 
all  right,  I'm  coming.  Say,  Drinky,  wait  a  minute  ; 
I'll  be  right  back." 

The  storekeeper  hastened  into  the  store,  grasped 
the  arm  of  his  clerk,  whispered  mysteriously  to  him 
and  went  out  the  back  door  to  the  corral,  where  he 
saddled  a  horse  and  rode  off  in  the  direction  of  the 
Line.  Drinky  sat  on  the  box  whittling  for  about  half 
an  hour,  and  wondering  what  kept  the  storekeeper. 
The  clerk  presently  lounged  out  to  where  he  was,  and 
said  to  him 


THE  JUSTICE.  225 

"  Say,  Drinky,  what  did  you  say  to  the  boss  ?" 

"  I  didn't  say  anything  to  him,  except  to  ask  him  if 
he  was  ever  married.  I'm  waiting  for  him." 

The  clerk  whistled,  thoughtfully  rubbed  his  chin, 
and  asked, 

"  Any  women  on  the  coach  ?" 

"Yes,  two  or  three." 

The  clerk  whistled  a  little  more.  "  Are  you  wait- 
ing for  the  boss?" 

"  Yes,  and  I  wish  he  would  come." 

"  I  wouldn't  wait.     The  boss  has  gone  to  Tucson." 

'  *  Gone  to  Tucson !  when  the  devil  did  he  go  there ! 
He  told  me  to  wait  a  minute. ' ' 

"  I  don't  know  ;  he  told  me  he  was  going,  and  for 
me  not  to  say  anything  about  it,  right  away.  He 
didn't  like  something  you  said  to  him." 

Drinky  was  puzzled.  He  tried  to  think  of  what  he 
could  possibly  have  said  to  either  offend  or  frighten 
the  man,  and  the  more  he  thought  the  more  he  was 
confused.  As  he  slowly  walked  along,  trying  to 
unravel  the  matter,  he  was  hailed  by  the  Doctor,  who 
was  standing  at  his  tent  door. 

"  Hello,  Drinky,  come  over." 

4 'Hello,  Doc.  Say,  you  are  just  the  man  lam 
looking  for." 

j  Drinky  went  across  to  the  Doctor,  and  both  entered 
the  tent.  After  a  short  conversation  on  general 
matters,  the  Doctor  said, 

"  What  did  you  want  to  see  me  for,  Drink  ?" 

"Oh,  yes  !  Say,  Doc.,  you've  been  married, 
haven't  you  ?" 

The  Doctor's  vivacity  was  gone  in  a  moment.     He 


226  CALABAZAS. 

straightened  up  on  the  camp  chair  as  if  his  back  bone 
had  been  suddenly  petrified.  He  eyed  Drinky,  who 
was  trimming  his  nails,  and  with  great  dignity 
answered, 

"No,  Mr.  Drinkwater,  I  have  never  had  that 
pleasure." 

Drinky,  startled  by  the  change  in  the  Doctor's 
manner  and  tone,  looked  up  into  his  face  with  a  fixed 
stare  of  surprise.  The  Doctor  seemed  to  shrivel  and 
wilt  before  the  stare,  for  he  grasped  and  effusively 
shook  Drinky 's  hand,  saying, 

"  Drinky,  old  man,  you'll  believe  my  sacred  word 
of  honor,  won't  you?" 

11  Of  course,  Doc.,"  answered  the  amazed  Drinky. 

"  Well,  Drinky,  you  are  a  Justice,  and  can  admin- 
ister oaths,  and  I  swear  to  you  now, — say,  have  you  a 
Bible?" 

"  What  in  the  devil  is  the  matter  with  you,  Doc.  ?" 

"  Nothing,  but  I  just  want  to  convince  you. 
Drinky,  here  is  the  "  Guiacum"  bottle.  "  G"  stands 
for  God,  and  I'll  swear  on  that  "  G"  that  I  never  was 
married." 

"  Well,  Doc.,  I  believe  you.  Your  word's  enough; 
I  only  asked  for  a  certain  purpose. ' ' 

For  a  few  moments  there  was  a  constrained  silence  ; 
it  was  broken  by  the  Doctor  saying, 

"  Coach  in?" 

"  Yes,  long  ago." 

"  Any  passengers?" 

' '  Two  or  three  women  and  a  Greaser. ' ' 

More  constrained  silence,  again  broken  by  the 
Doctor : 


THE  JUSTICE.  227 

"  I  was  just  starting  for  Tubac  as  you  dropped  in. 
Very  sick  child,  and  I  must  be  going." 

They  bade  each  other  a  chilly  "so  long."  Drinky 
went  out  into  the  street,  and  the  doctor  to  his  stable 
tent,  where  he  saddled  his  horse,  and,  in  a  short  while, 
was  riding  rapidly  toward  Pete's-the-rancher. 

Drinky  wandered  aimlessly  up  the  street,  in  a  more 
confused  condition  than  before.  How  he  did  wish  the 
widow  or  Lucky  Smith  were  still  in  town.  They 
could  inform  him.  Why  did'nt  Harry  go  to  Tucson? 
If  he  hadn't  spent  the  ten  dollars  he'd  give  it  back 
and  let  him  go  elsewhere.  He  would  go  and  take  a 
drink.  In  pursuance  of  his  last  resolve,  he  went  into 
the  Pantheon,  shook  Bob's  barkeeper — Johnnie — for 
the  drinks,  won,  and  ordered  a  cocktail.  While  the 
cocktail  was  being  mixed,  he  was  impressed  that 
Johnnie  had  the  appearance  of  a  married  man;  he 
would  ask  him.  So  he  broached  the  subject  with — 

"  Say,  Johnnie,  were  you  ever  married  ?  " 

The  question  was  hardly  from  Drinky 's  mouth, 
before  the  glass  of  cocktails  went  smashing  to  the  floor 
from  Johnnie's  nerveless  hand,  and  that  handsome, 
mashing,  nervy  and  hasty  gentleman  stood  as  dnmb 
as  an  oyster,  open  mouthed  and  staring  at  Drinky 
with  protruding  eyes.  Suddenly  a  broad  grin  covered 
his  face,  he  kicked  the  broken  glass  under  the  counter, 
and,  reaching  over,  grasped  Drinky's  hand,  saying: 

"That's  one  on  me,  Drinky.     Ha-ha-ha!  why,  you 
just  took  my  wind  away.     I  thought  you  asked  me  if 
I  had  ever  been  murdered.    Ha-ha-ha!    Well,  I'm  — 
What'll  you  have?     I  was  thinking  of  something  else. 
You  will  have  one  on  me  from  this  out  when  you  want 


228  CALABAZAS. 

it.  Was  I  ever  married  ?  Ha-ha.  No,  Drinky,  I  never 
was;  and,  old  boy,  I  don't  want  to  be." 

Drinky  listened  with  a  sad,  sanguinary,  death-bed 
smile  on  his  face.  He  did  not  try  to  think  any  more, 
he  would  be  as  crazy  as  all  he  had  been  talking  to  if 
he  did ;  so  he  swallowed  his  cocktail,  then  took  one 
with  Johnnie,  and  then  anticipated  two  days  on 
Johnnie  and  took  a  couple  more.  He  now  began  feel- 
ing better,  and  almost  entirely  forgot  about  the  wed- 
ding. Having  no  further  business  in  the  Pantheon, 
he  bade  Johnnie  "See  you  again,"  and  started  to  go, 
when  Johnnie  asked : 

"Stage  in?" 

"Yes,  long  ago." 

1  *  Any  passengers  ? ' ' 

"Couple  of  women  and  a  Greaser." 

"Have  any  talk  with  them?  Did  you  ask  the 
news?" 

"Didn't  have  to  ask.  One  of  them  was  a  sassy 
little  blonde  that  would  talk  you  deaf,  dumb,  and 
blind  in  a  minute.  She  gave  all  the  news. ' ' 

Johnnie  walked  from  behind  the  bar  and  over  to 
Drinky,  and  threw  his  arm  over  the  Judge's  shoulder. 

"Gabby  blonde;  well  dressed,  thinks  she  owns  the 
earth.  The  blondes  all  do. ' ' 

"Did  you  see  her?  "  said  Drinky. 

"  No,  I  thought  so  from  what  you  said  about  her. 
Come,  Drinky,  have  another  with  me." 

While  Drinky  had  another  with  him,  Johnnie  con- 
fidentially told  him  that  he  was  going  to  start  for 
Tombstone  as  soon  as  Bob  came  in  ;  had  just  heard  his 
brother  had  been  in  a  shooting  scrape,  and  he  wanted 


THK  JUSTICE.  229 

to  get  him  over  the  Line  until  things  were  "squared," 
so  if  any  one  asks  for  me,  Drinky,  you  don't  know 
where  I  am — sabee  ' ' 

Drinky,  wondering  at  Johnnie's  unusual  generosity, 
returned  to  the  Custom  House.  He  was  no  sooner 
away  than  Johnnie  despatched  a  messenger  for  Bob, 
from  whom  he  borrowed  a  horse  to  go  and  see  his 
"  brother  who  was  sick  at  the  railroad  camp, "  and 
rode  toward  the  Line.  He  had 'not  been  gone  longer 
than  a  half  hour  when  Pete-the-rancher  rode  furiously 
into  town,  halted  at  the  Golden  Fleece,  and  excitedly 
asked  the  bystanders. 

4 'What  the  devil's  up  down  at  the  Line?" 

The  crowd  was  very  much  surprised  at  the  question, 
did  not  know  of  anything  having  happened  at  Nogales, 
and  asked  him,  "Why?" 

"Well,  the  storekeeper  went  by  my  place  like  he 
was  running  a  quarter  race,  and  I  hollered  to  know 
"What's  up,"  and  he  yelled  back  something  and 
waved  his  hand.  He  was  hardly  out  of  sight,  when 
here  comes  Doc.  like  h — 1  beating  tan  bark,  and  I 
hollered  to  him  to  know  "What's  up,"  and  he  yelled 
something  back  and  waved  his  hand.  He  was  hardly 
out  of  sight  before  here  comes  Bob's  Johnnie  on  Bob's 
gray  just  skinning  the  ground  like  greased  lightning, 
and  I  hollered  to  him  to  know  "What's  up,"  and  he 
yelled  something  back  and  waved  his  hand,  and  I  made 
up  my  mind  to  come  and  see,  and  the  first  -  -  scrub 
that  rid  along  and  yelled  back  and  waved  his  —  —  hand 

at  me,  that  I  would  take  a  shot  at  him  for  luck . ' ' 

None  could  explain  the  riddle,  and  exhausted  them- 
selves in  straights  and  cocktails,  taken  at  the  saloons 


230  CAI.ABAZAS. 

in  rotation  and  at  Pete's  expense,  till  that  excitable 
gentleman  was  calmed. 

On  returning  to  the  Custom  House,  Drinky  found 
everything  prepared  for  the  wedding.  He  sat  on  his 
official  throne,  and  pondered  on  the  extraordinary  fact 
that  no  Calabazan  had  ever  been  married ;  and  won- 
dered if  he  had  really  strayed  into  a  colony  of  monks. 
He  was  disturbed  by  the  entrance  of  Boston  Charlie, 
who  wanted  an  attachment  issued.  The  business 
settled,  Boston  Charlie — who  was  a  truculent  fellow — 
looked  around  at  the  decorations  and  remarked : 

"You're  fixed  up  in  great  shape." 

"Yes,"  said  Drinky,  (and  remembering  Harry's 
injunction.)"  Some  of  the  girls  going  to  have  a  birth- 
day party  to-night ; ' '  and  with  the  same  old  thirst  for 
marital  information  deluging  his  mind,  he  continued  : 

"Charlie,  were  you  ever  married?  " 

"Say  that  agin,  and  say  it  slow,"  said  the  choleric 
Charlie. 

Drinky  said  it  again,  and  slow;  he  had  hardly 
finished  when  "Biff!  Slap!  Bang!"  and  he  had  one 
on  the  eye,  another  on  the  nose,  and  another  on  the 
jaw,  from  Charlie's  ponderous  fist;  and  was  then 
taken  by  the  collar  and  shaken  like  a  terrier  shakes  a 
rat,  before  being  thrown  back  into  his  chair  limp  and 
helpless,  to  listen  to  Charlie  answer  his  question  with 
abundant  profanity. 

' '  You're  spying  on  me,  are  you  ?  Yes,  I'm  married, 
and  it's  none  of  your  —  —business,  is  it?  That's  why 
you  have  been  playing  friendly  is  it,  —  —  you!  That's 
what  took  you  to  Tucson  so  often,  is  it?  Yes,  I'm 
married,  and  the  -  -  old  crow  is  living  in  Tuc- 


THE  JUSTICE.  231 

son,  and  can  stay  there,  and  what  are  you  going  to 
do  about  it  ?  Don't  you  meddle  with  my  business 

again  or  I'll ."  Here  Boston  Charlie  took  his 

leave,  muttering  and  blaspheming  every  step,  leaving 
Drinky  to  explain  to  the  crowd  about  the  row  if  he 
wanted  to. 

Drinky  was  now  thoroughly  demoralized.  He 
wished  for  death.  He  sauntered  to  the  saloon  below, 
and  after  so  explaining  his  questions  of  the  morning 
to  the  barkeeper  as  to  remove  all  suspicions  concern- 
ing his  sanity,  took  a  couple  of  drinks  on  their 
re-cemented  friendship,  and  fell  asleep  on  a  cracker 
box. 

At  nine  o'clock  P.M.,  Bonnie,  dressed  for  the 
wedding,  entered  the  Custom  House  in  company  with 
her  hurdy-girl  friends.  Harry  and  his  friends  put  in 
their  appearance  a  little  later.  Drinky,  who  had 
sobered  up  by  some  marvellous  process,  known  to 
himself  only,  looked  quite  Episcopal  in  the  city  suit, 
white  necktie  and  paper  collar  that  he  had  borrowed 
from  the  clerk  at  the  store.  After  a  few  jokes,  and 
compliments  to  the  bride  and  groom  had  passed, 
the  groom  invited  all  hands  to  take  a  drink,  and  they 
adjourned  to  the  bar  underneath,  the  ladies  going 
with  Bonnie  into  the  vestal  chamber  to  gossip  with 
her  as  a  hurdy-girl  for  the  last  time.  The  men  sent 
up  beer  to  cheer  the  ladies  until  their  return.  After 
drinking  to  the  groom's  health,  Handsome  George 
insisted  that  they  should  go  to  the  Golden  Fleece, 
"and  smile."  The  company  accepted  the  invitation, 
and  visited  the  Golden  Fleece,  whence — beers  were 
again  sent  to  the  ladies.  Curly  Pete  would  feel 


THK  JUSTICE.  233 

slighted  if  his  place  was  not  visited,  so  the  Coliseum 
was  called  at — and  more  beer  was  sent  to  the  ladies. 
Bottle  Bob  was  a  quiet  man,  but  he  could  be  aroused 
if  insulted  in  cold  blood,  so  the  Pantheon  had  the  call 
—beer  was  sent  to  the  ladies.  At  each  place  the 
sports,  not  to  be  behind  hand,  also  added  health  treats 
—with  beer  for  the  ladies.  By  the  time  that  all  of  the 
more  prominent  and  friendly  places  had  been  visited, 
§ome  of  the  crowd  were  drunk,  some  half  drunk,  and 
some  just  jolly.  Among  the  last  was  the  bridegroom, 
Drinky  being  listed  with  the  first  division. 

The  hour  being  now  nearly  half  past  eleven,  P.M., 
Harry  said  he  thought  it  was  about  time  to  visit  the 
ladies.  Timely  thought,  it  was.  They  left  the  noisy 
bar-room,  and  stepped  into  the  street,  to  have  their 
ears  assailed  with  piercing  cries,  shrieks,  ejaculations, 
and  recriminations,  coming  from  the  ladies  in  the 
Custom  House.  Harry  and  the  more  sober,  lost  no 
time  in  getting  to  the  room,  and  what  a  sight  met  their 
gaze.  Poor  Bonnie  was  standing  on  the  table  crying, 
some  of  the  women  had  torn  dresses,  scratched  faces, 
and  bitten  cheeks ;  all  but  Bonnie  had  inflamed  faces 
and  swollen  eyes.  Some  were  sitting  with  their  backs 
to  the  wall,  lolling,  crying,  and  mumbling  oaths.  The 
curtains  had  been  torn  from  the  vestal  chamber,  the 
chairs  were  thrown  about  the  room — some  of  them 
broken — and  the  green  Cottonwood  boughs  had  been 
pulled  down  and  littered  over  the  floor. 

The  first  beer  had  found  the  ladies  chatting  as 
friendly  as  could  be  wished. 

The  second  beer  had  promoted  good  feeling  and 
initiated  sworn  confidences. 


234  CALABAZAS. 

The  third  beer  inaugurated  a  period  of  mutual  hu- 
mility concerning  one's  own  personal  charms  and  ac- 
complishments, with  exaggerated  praises  of  the 
others. 

The  fourth  beer  had  brought  up  memories  of  the 
various  localities  in  which  they  had  lived,  and  the 
financial  comparisons  consequent  thereto. 

The  fifth  beer  had  brought  up  the  subject  of  dancing, 
with  remarks  concerning  each  lady's  grace  or  skill  oil. 
the  floor,  and  whispered  asides  to  dearest  friends,  that 
"Liz  is  clumsy,"  or  "  Flora  vain,"  or  "Sallie  is  a 
heavy  weight  in  a  waltz, ' '  and  * '  Jennie  is  overbalanced 
by  her  feet." 

The  sixth  beer  brought  on  an  exchange  of  the  former 
asides  to  those  most  interested  in  not  hearing  them, 
from  those  that  they  had  been  whispered  to,  in  strict- 
est confidence,  and  the  ladies  began  forming  them- 
selves into  cliques. 

The  seventh  beer  revived  memories  of  present  and 
past  '  *  gentlemen  friends. ' '  Their  virtues,  appear- 
ances, and  fighting  qualities,  and  ardent  love  for  their 
1  'lady  friends." 

The  eighth  beer  incited  rude  remarks  concerning 
the  personal  deficiencies  of  each  other,  to  each  other, 
accompanied  by  profanity,  sniffs,  shruggings  of  shoul- 
ders, and  supercilious  glances  from  one  to  another. 

The  ninth  beer  caused  a  " perfect  lady"  to  slap  a 
"dirty  hussy's  "  face,  each  of  whom  had  many  warm- 
tempered  sympathizers. 

The  tenth  beer  had  brought  on  a  culmination  of  the 
personal  differences,  very  violent,  and  which  had 
caused  Bonnie — who  would  not  drink,  and  had  been 


THE  JUSTICE.  235 

trying  to  keep  peace  among  them — to  jump  on  the 
table,  and  out  of  harm's  way. 

The  eleventh  beer  was  tossed  out  of  a  window. 

Harry  and  his  sober  friends  had  separated  the  wo- 
men by  the  time  Drinky  and  the  remainder  of  the 
guests  staggered  into  the  room.  Harry  angrily  sent 
the  most  noisy  women  away  in  company  with  the  most 
drunken  men,  and  the  room  was  put  in  order.  The 
quarrel  among  the  girls  had  thrown  a  cloud  over  the 
company,  and,  as  the  wedding  couple  stood  before  the 
Justice  awaiting  the  ceremony,  the  tear-stained  face  of 
Bonnie,  and  solemn  one  of  Harry,  were  more  befitting 
a  funeral  than  a  marriage  feast. 

Whilst  the  room  was  being  cleared  up,  Drinky  had 
sat  upon  the  edge  of  the  table  suffering  from  the  most 
intense  alcoholic  grief.  The  row  between  the  ladies 
had  brought  afresh  to  his  mind  the  misfortunes  of  the 
day,  of  the  abuse  by  the  barkeeper,  of  the  extraordi- 
nary conduct  of  those  from  whom  he  had  sought  mar- 
ital information,  and  of  his  unmerited  thrashing  by 
Boston  Charlie.  The  more  his  mind  dwelt  upon  these 
troubles,  the  greater  became  his  sympathy  for  himself, 
until  he  was  at  length  melted  into  bitter  tears  of  indig- 
nation at  his  fateful  fortunes.  He  looked  up  and  saw 
the  wedding  party  standing  before  him,  and  the  ine- 
briated gentleman  was  immediately  possessed  with 
the  idea  that  they  were  angry,  and  watching  him  for 
no  good  purpose.  Looking  at  them,  and  winking  his 
eyes  slowly  and  sleepily,  he  asked  with  much 
acrimony : 

' '  What  are  you — hie — watching  me  for  ?  " 

' ' Aint  you  going  to  marry  us  ?  "  asked  Harry. 


236  CALABAZAS. 

"No,  I  don't  know  how  !  "  said  Drinky  in  a  burst 
of  uncontrolable  grief,  as  he  slid  from  the  table  to  the 
floor. 

Bonnie  restrained  Harry  from  obliterating  the  refrac- 
tory Justice  on  the  instant.  George  and  Pete  lifted  up 
the  sorrow  laden  man,  who  continued: 

"Bonnie  and  Harry,  I'm  your — sob — hie — friend, 
and  I  tell  you  this — sob — hie — marry  business  is  no 
good — sob — hie.  Can't  you  skip  the  town — sob — hie — 
just  as  well  now  as  you  can — sob — hie — afterwards?" 
— sob. 

"What  did  you  say?"  yelled  Harry,  who  could 
hardly  believe  his  ears. 

Bonnie  seated  herself,  silently  crying,  and  murmur- 
ing, "Did  any  poor  girl  ever  have  such  a  time  getting 
married?  Something  will  surely  happen,  and  I  just 
know  it.  For  two  pins  I  would  give  the  whole  thing 
up." 

"  I  say  this,"  said  Drinky,  alcoholic  grief  having 
giving  way  to  alcoholic  dignity,  emphasized  with 
"hies"  (which  the  reader  can  put  in,)  "I  asked 
Frank  if  he  was  married,  and  he  chucked  me  out. 
I  asked  Tom,  and  he  said  for  me  to  wait  a  minute, 
and  then  skipped.  I  asked  Doc.,  and  he  skipped.  I 
asked  Johnnie,  and  he  skipped.  I  asked  Charlie,  and 
he  gave  me  a  belting.  He  would  have  skipped  too, 
only  he  knew  just  where  his  old  crow  was. 

Pete  and  Bob  held  Harry  that  he  might  not  dis- 
member Drinky  on  the  spot,  and  George  asked: 

' '  What  did  they  say,  Drinky  ?  ' ' 

' '  Say  !  say  nothing.  Every  one  of  them  wanted  to 
know  if  any  passengers  came  on  the  stage. ' ' 


THE  JUSTICE.  237 

"  What  did  you  tell  them?  " 

' '  Tell  them  !  I  told  them  that  two  or  three  women 
got  out  and  went  into  the  Palace." 

Pete  and  Bob  drew  a  quick  breath,  cast  rapid 
glances  at  each  other,  and  dropped  Harry's  arm  as 
though  he  had  been  an  electric  battery.  George 
grasped  Drinky  by  the  throat  and  excitedly  said: 

"  lyook  here,  Drink}',  no-  -lies  now,  or  there 
will  be  trouble.  What  did  they  look  like?  Describe 
them. 

4 'Now,  just  look  at  that,"  gurgled  Drinky.  "I 
don't  remember.  They  went  off  in  the  stage." 

"  O  -  —  h,"  said  all  three,  as  George  loosened  his 
grasp  on  Drinky's  wind.  The  three  smiled  at  each 
other,  and  unitedly  said  in  the  most  amiable  tones, 
"  Went  right  on,  did  you  say,  Drinky  ?  " 

"Yes,"  said  Drinky,  now  alcoholically  sullen. 

Suddenly  becoming  alcoholically  exasperated,  he 
yelled: 

"And  if  they  hadn't  gone  on  you  fellows  would  be 
skipping  now.  You  can't  be  married  without  want- 
ing to  skip." 

In  an  instant  the  unfortunate  Drinky  was  involved 
in  a  cyclonic  mass  of  whirling  arms  and  drapery, 
while,  at  intervals,  a  thunderbolt  struck  him  on  his 
face,  cheeks,  ears,  or  head,  accompanied  by  a  feeling 
as  if  he  was  held  by  his  hair  over  a  bottomless  abyss. 
It  was  only  Bonnie,  who  howled  in  his  ear: 

' '  You  drunken  loafer— you — you  mean  to  say  that 
we  want  to  skip  ?  Haven't  I  danced  in  Harry's  house 
all  over  Arizona  ?  Couldn't  we  have  skipped  long  ago 
if  we  wanted  to  ?  You — you— take  that,  and  that, 


238  CAI.ABAZAS. 

and  that,  AND  THAT,  AND  THAT  !  Now,  then,  you 
stand  right  up  here  and  marry  us.  Stand  up  here, 
Harry;  come  here  George,  Pete,  and  Bob;  come  Jen- 
nie and  Dora. ' ' 

The  flushed  cheeks  and  blazing  eyes  of  the  enraged 
beauty  had  a  greater  effect  on  Drinky  than  anything 
that  had  happened.  The  more  so,  as  Bonnie  was 
noted  for  her  sweet  disposition  and  unfailing  good 
humor.  Accordingly  Drinky  humbly  said: 

"  But,  Bonnie,  I  don't  know  how." 

"  Oh,"  goodnaturedly  said  George,  "  all  you've  got 
to  do,  Drinky,  is  to  ask  them  if  they  want  to  marry, 
and  then  tell  them  they  were  married,  and  enter  it  on 
your  Docket.  I  was  married  by  a  justice,  but! 'hastily 
adding,' 'my  wife  is  dead." 

By  a  fatal  coincidence,  Pete  had  been  married,  and 
his  wife  had  died  ;  and  Bob  had  been  married,  and  his 
wife  had  died.  Bonnie  smiled  as  Drinky  said: 

"All  right,  then,  Bonnie,  if  you  want  to  die,  I'll 
say  the  word. ' ' 

"  Say,  Drinky,  forgive  me  like  a  good  fellow?  "  said 
Bonnie  sweetly.  '  *  I  know  you  didn't  mean  anything, 
but  everything  has  gone  wrong,  and  I  was  so  mad. 
Please  forgive  me,  Drinky  ;  my  wedding  night,  too." 

4 'All right,  Bonnie,"  answered  the  easily  placated 
Drinky.  "Now,  do  you  want  to  marry  Harry  ? " 

"Yes,  indeed  I  do,  Drinky." 

"  Harry,  do  you  want  to  marry  Bonnie  ?  " 

"  That's  what  I'm  here  for,"  said  Harry  surlily. 

"  All  right,  then,  you're  married,  and  I  hope  you 
won't  skip  the  first  time  anyone  asks  you  if  you  are." 

Bonnie  was  inclined  to  find  fault  with  this  uncere- 


THE  JUSTICE.  239 

monious  ceremony,  but,  on  the  assurance  of  the  wit- 
nesses that  the  marriage  was  "  solid,"  she  accepted  it, 
and  they  went  to  the  Palace  Hotel,  where  Cum  Sing 
had  a  table  spread  with  such  good  cheer  and  abundant 
champagne,  that  the  company  soon  became  merry,  and 
Drinky  drunk  again.  Amidst  restored  cheerfulness, 
the  party  broke  up  in  the  small  hours  of  the  morning, 
and  Harry  took  Bonnie  to  the  Grand  Central,  her 
future  home,  while  the  others  went  their  several  ways. 

Before  retiring  on  the  floor  to  rest,  Drinky  swore  on 
his  whole  library,  never  to  be  implicated  in  another 
wedding,  and,  with  great  care  and  deliberation,  made 
an  entry  in  his  Docket.  Crandall,  who  returned  the 
next  day,  convinced  Harry  and  Bonnie  that  the  wed- 
ding was  all  right.  He  then  went  to  the  Custom 
House  and  examined  the  Docket  to  make  sure.  For- 
tunately for  Drinky,  Harry  did  not  come,  for  the  entry 
that  met  Crandall' s  eyes  was,  that  "  Harry  had  been 
convicted  of  an  assault  and  fined  ten  dollars. ' '  Drinky 
was  hunted  up,  his  handy  knife  soon  erased  this  entry, 
and  under  the  friendly  instructions  of  Crandall  a  cor- 
rect one  was  made,  a  certificate  made  out  for  Bonnie, 
and  the  license  endorsed. 

The  morning  after  the  wedding,  Bob  sent  a  courier 
to  Johnnie,  telling  of  the  wedding  and  the  object  of 
Drinky 's  questions.  The  three  men  returned,  but  for 
some  days  bore  a  hunted,  fugitive  look,  and  started 
nervously  at  hearing  a  female  voice.  The  Doctor 
never  explained  why  he  went  to  Nogales,  to  attend  a 
sick  child  in  Tubac.  Johnnie  was  reticent  as  to  how 
he  expected,  by  going  to  Nogales,  to  help  his  brother 
in  Tombstone  out  of  a  scrape,  and  the  storekeeper 


240  CALABAZAS. 

never  alluded  to  why  he  so  suddenly  changed  his  mind 
about  going  to  Tucson. 

Nearly  a  month  after  the  wedding,  Charlie's  "  Old 
Crow  "  unexpectedly  put  in  an  appearance,  and  that 
bulldozing  individual  became  the  meekest  of  men, 
and  the  most  attentive  of  husbands.  He  made  ample 
apologies  to  Drinky,  and  in  return  for  unlimited  sil- 
ence concerning  the  remarks  made  about  the  ' '  Old 
Crow,"  tendered  him  unlimited  refreshments. 

Bonnie  was  a  good  wife,  and  Harry  a  better  husband 
than  was  to  be  expected  of  a  hurdy-man,  and  they  no 
doubt  are  as  happy  as  couples  married  under  happier 
auspices. 

Drinky 's  final  caper  of  heading  a  mob  against  the 
Chinese  of  the  town,  made  it  prudent  for  him  to  absent 
himself  from  American  jurisdiction,  and  take  up  his 
residence  in  Mexico,  that  land  of  frijoles,  tortillas, 
and  the  abundant,  much-loved,  and  untaxed  Mescal. 

The  establishing  of  the  new  railroad  town  at  No- 
gales,  had  seriously  affected  Calabazas.  Business  was 
not  so  brisk.  Not  so  many  strangers  came  in.  The 
rattle  of  the  faro  chips  was  not  so  universally  heard, 
and  the  call  of  ' '  Keno !  ' '  startled  the  ear  and  caused 
undignified  expressions  to  drop  from  the  hearer.  It 
was  appalling  to  the  Calabazans  to  think  that  if  this 
thing  kept  on,  the  town  might  attain  a  degree  of 
decency  and  quietness,  and  with  their  usual  fertility 
of  resource,  they  began  looking  around  to  devise  some 
plan  by  which  to  dissipate  their  ennui. 

With  the  growth  of  the  town,  some  additions  had 
been  made  to  the  Chinese  brick  yard  colony.  Their 
boss  was  a  portly,  dignified,  gentlemanly  old  fellow  ; 


THE  JUSTICE.  241 

a  generous  subscriber  to  the  local  charities,  and  the 
banker  for  his  countrymen.  To  Drinky  he  had  made 
loans,  that  he  must  have  known  would  eventuate  into 
gifts  or  total  losses.  It  is  doubtful  if  the  old  fellow 
had  but  a  few  dollars  on  hand,  but  it  was  rumored 
that  he  had  several  thousand  with  him.  The  Calabaz- 
ans  were  modest,  they  could  have  as  easily  said  mil- 
lions, the  amount  cut  no  figure.  The  hope  of  getting 
five  dollars  would  have  been  a  sufficient  incentive  for 
the  mob. 

In  the  town,  one  or  two  wash  houses  had  been 
opened,  and  one  Foo  Chong  and  wife,  had  established 
the  ' '  Delmonico  ' '  restaurant.  The  couple  were  tact- 
ful, polite,  exquisitely  neat — for  Calabazas — and  spoke 
English  quite  well.  Mrs.  Foo  Chong  was  petite,  and 
had  a  mild,  gentle  face,  that  was  really  so  pretty,  that 
her  oblique  eyes  and  the  barbaric  arrangement  of  her 
hair,  could  not  entirely  hide  its  pleasantness. 

At  this  period,  1877-1882,  it  had  become  common 
in  the  Western  States  to  attribute  any  business  de- 
pression, failure  of  crops,  petering  out  of  mines, 
destructive  earthquakes,  floods,  disastrous  shipwrecks, 
idiocy,  or  malformed  births,  to  Chinese  competi- 
tion ;  therefore  it  was  perfectly  natural  for  the  Cala- 
bazans  to  ascribe  the  town's  unwonted  quietness  to 
the  same  cause.  The  exasperating  sobriety  and  per- 
tinacious industry  of  these  undesirable  people  were  a 
standing  menace  to  the  Calabazas  social  fabric.  Then, 
what  could  be  more  natural  than  for  the  citizens  to  think 
that  it  would  be  amusing  and  profitable  to  attack  them, 
destroy  their  property,  and  incidentally  confiscate  their 
money  and  valuables?  Of  course,  the  avowed  griev- 


CALABAZAS. 

ance  was  the  Chinese  competition,  but  it  would  have 
taken  a  search  warrant  to  have  found  out  wherein  the 
competition  existed.  There  was  not  a  resident  of 
Calabazas  that  would  have  performed  any  of  the  labors 
given  to  the  Chinese — or  in  fact  any  labor  at  all — un- 
less persuaded  to  do  so  at  the  muzzle  of  a  loaded  shot- 
gun. 

A  few  days  before  the  riot,  the  storekeeper  sold  out 
his  business,  for  cash,  at  much  less  than  its  value.  It 
was  said  that  he  intended  to  skip  over  the  I^ine  and 
avoid  his  creditors;  but  this  was  not  considered  as 
being  anything  amiss;  to  the  contrary,  the  Calabazans 
looked  upon  it  as  rather  a  commendable  course  to  pur- 
sue, and  it  being  but  a  short  distance  to  the  I,ine,  no 
one  thought  it  strange  that  he  hung  around  town 
instead  of  going  away  at  once. 

The  fourth  evening  after  the  sale  of  the  store,  clus- 
ters of  men  were  seen  gathered  here  and  there  on  the 
bottom,  talking  earnestly  and  loudly  against  the  Chi- 
nese. These  clusters  gradually  drifted  together,  the 
ex-storekeeper,  Drinky,  and  a  "tough"  from  the 
railroad  camp,  being  extremely  busy  amongst  them. 
As  the  evening  wore  on,  the  crowd  became  more  ven- 
emous  from  the  numerous  drinks  indulged  in,  loudly 
cursing  the  Chinese  and  the  government ;  but  the  dis- 
cussions of  half  drunken  men  were  not  much  noticed 
in  Calabazas. 

About  nine  o'clock,  a  body  of  fifty  men  were  seen 
marching  solidly  toward  the  Custom  House,  and 
before  any  one  had  an  idea  of  what  they  intended 
doing,  the  Palace  Hotel  was  attacked,  torn  down,  and 
its  furniture  and  crockery  smashed.  Up  to  this  time 


THK  JUSTICE.  243 

the  mob  had  been  sullen  and  disposed  to  mischief,  but 
their  native  good  humor  was  restored  when  Cum  Sing, 
worthy  man,  came  out  to  argue  matters.  When  an 
American  grabbed  him  by  the  cue  and  jerked  his  head 
back  with  a  force  almost  sufficient  to  dislocate  his 
neck,  at  the  same  time  saying,  in  the  purest  English, 
"Hey,  monkey,  close  yer  mug  or  I'll  gi'e  yer  a 
swipe;"  and  another  American  yelled,  "Cut  the 
hay  then  divil's  ears  off, ' '  and  another  American  said, 
"  Dass  was,"  and  still  an  other  American  encouraged 
the  fun  with,  "  Killa  de  damma  China."  The  crowd 
just  writhed  with  merriment,  and  so  many  partici- 
pated in  giving  him  joyous  kicks  in  the  ribs,  and 
amusing  whacks  over  the  head,  that  his  feeble  cries  of, 
"  Wha  fo'  you  killee  me,"  were  soon  stilled,  and  he 
was  left  lying  a  most  ridiculous  and  senseless  heap  of 
broken  China,  amidst  the  wreck  of  the  Palace  Hotel. 
There  is  a  superlative  sensation  of  bliss  comes  over 
one  when  he  grasps  a  fleeing  Chinaman's  cue,  and 
prepares  to  give  him  "  a  bat  for  luck."  One's  life 
has  been  wasted  who  has  not  experienced  this  great 
pleasure. 

Hi  Sing  and  I/>  Sing  fled  on  the  wings  of  the  wind 
into  the  darkness.  How  funnily  they  shrieked  for 
mercy  when  chased,  and  were  jocularly  fired  at,  in 
hopes  of  tickling  their  lungs  or  livers  with  a  bullet. 
It  was  great  fun  for  the  Calabazans. 

Having  squeezed,  kneaded,  and  hammered  the  last 
particle  of  amusement  from  Cum  Sing  and  his  belong- 
ings, and  at  the  same  time  incidentally  squared  all 
board  due  him  from  them,  they  proceeded  to  attack 
Foo  Chong's  restaurant.  They  cut  his  new  tent  into 


244  CALABAZAS. 

ribbons,  hilariously  smashed  his  stove,  crockery,  and 
furniture  into  bits,  and  exhilaratingly  stole  everything 
else.  Foo  Chong  fought  like  a  demon  to  save  his  property 
and  protect  his  wife  from  injury,  fought  preposterously 
like  a  human  being,  but  he  was  beaten  nearly  to  insen- 
sibility, and  his  harmless,  gentle  little  wife  was  kicked 
and  beaten  almost  as  severely.  That  he  might  not 
think  the  joke  was  carried  too  far,  they  picked  his 
pockets  and  tore  her  jewelry  from  her  ears,  head  and 
hands. 

There  are  some  people  totally  devoid  of  all  sense  of 
humor,  and  of  maudlin  sympathies,  whose  stony 
hearts  would  have  been  moved  if  they  could  have  seen 
this  heathen  couple,  after  recovering  their  senses, 
sitting  amid  the  ruins  of  their  all,  bleeding  (real 
blood  like  anyone  else's)  from  their  numerous  wounds. 
The  head  of  the  innocent,  maltreated  wife  rested  on 
her  poor  husband's  shoulder,  while  he  fondled  one  of 
her  small,  bruised  hands  (just  as  if  a  person  could  love 
in  Chinese !)  Her  once  ornately  decorated  and 
plastered  hair  was  matted  with  blood  (genuine).  In 
gentle,  subdued  words  and  half-suppressed  sobs,  she 
bemoaned  their  ruin  and  abuse  and  tried  to  console 
her  husband.  And  then  to  see  Foo  so  softly  smooth 
and  caress  her  hands,  while  he,  oblivious  to  his  own 
hurts,  said  in  his  "  dirty  lingo,"  "  Me  no  ca-a  fo*  my 
money,  me  no  ca-a  fo'  house,  but  he  bleak  my  wife's 
feelins.  Me  bollow  all  him  money  to  buy  tent  an  buy 
g'lub  and  now  me  no  can  pay.  My  flen  tink  me 
logue."  It  was  as  mirth  inspiring  as  a  circus  joke. 

Actually  this  Chinaman  did  not  have  sense  enough 
to  think  of  skipping  over  the  I4ne !  Some  of  those 


THK  JUSTICE.  245 

maudlin  people  before  spoken  of  might  actually  prefer 
to  have  been  one  of  the  Chinese  instead  of  the  mob ! 
And  Mrs.  Foo  shedding  tears,  too !  She  puckered  her 
face  so  differently  from  a  white  person  !  the  tears 
squeezed  out  were  round,  pelucid,  and  rolled  down 
her  cheeks  perfectly  natural — so  far  so  good ;  but  they 
were  not  chemically  the  same  as  a  white  persons, 
because  the  Chinese  eat  rats,  and  of  course  that  alters 
the  whole  combination.  Their  tears  probably  are 
more  in  the  nature  of  liquified  laughing  gas.  How  the 
Mongolian  digestive  apparatus  manages  to  extract  a 
volatile  essence  of  mirth,  from  such  a  phlegmatic 
rodent,  is  nature's  secret,  yet  it  must  do  so,  for  the 
Chinese  tears — in  Calabazas — seemed  to  exhale  some 
subtle  influence  that  created  the  most  exhausting 
laughter,  amongst  those  so-called  Christians,  that 
would  have  crucified  the  Saviour  if  the  opportunity 
had  presented  itself.  Of  course  the  idea  of  a  Chinaman 
having  any  sentiment  will  be  laughed  at,  but  it  is  a 
fact,  nevertheless,  that  Foo  was  so  affected  at  his  loss 
of  property,  and  his  wife's  grief,  that  he  jumped  up 
and  down  like  a  jack-in-the-box,  swore  most  frightful 
oaths  at  his  persecutors,  told  them  to  kill  him,  "Me 
no  flaid  die,"  and  challenged  any  one  of  them  to  fight 
him — you  would  have  almost  thought  him  human. 
Fortunately  the  mob  was  too  much  interested  in 
destroying  other  places,  and  stealing  each  other's 
clothing  from  the  heathen's  laundries,  to  pay  attention 
to  his  cries,  and  his  wife  smothered  many  of  them  by 
putting  her  hands  over  his  mouth.  Bancroft  UfcflW 
The  fact  that  they  met  with  no  resistance  seemed  to 
madden  the  mob.  Drinky  was  in  his  glory,  and  was 


246  CALABAZAS. 

heard  yelling,  "Now  for  the  brickyard  Chinese." 
Some  of  the  rioters  brought  buckets  of  whisky  from 
lower  saloons  to  refresh  those  exhausted  by  their 
labors ;  it  disappeared  down  their  villainous  throats 
like  water,  and  increased  their  rancorous  wit  in 
proportion. 

Having  eliminated  the  few  Chinese  tents  from  the 
town,  and  chased  their  inmates  into  the  darkness,  or 
beaten  them  into  insensibility,  the  mob  followed  their 
leaders  to  the  brick  yards.  Here  the  Chinese,  not 
knowing  how  to  take  a  joke,  had  barricaded  them- 
selves in  their  sleeping  house  with  an  intent  to  defend 
their  property,  but  when  they  heard  the  yelling  and 
swearing  of  the  rioters,  the  firing  of  pistols,  and 
the  drunken  threats,  all  of  them  ran  away  but  the 
boss  and  a  couple  of  the  braver  Chinese,  who  remained 
to  make  an  effort  to  save  something.  So  many  of  the 
mob  were  under  obligations  to  him  that  he  thought 
assuredly  he  had  some  friends  amongst  them. 

The  rioters,  in  a  minute  after  reaching  the  yard, 
had  hammered  the  boss  and  his  two  companions 
enough  to  show  that  friendship  ceased  when  amuse- 
ment was  in  hand.  Every  nook  and  corner  of  the 
buildings  were  searched  for  money ;  for  what  right 
had  a  Chinaman  to  money  when  a  Calabazan  wanted 
whisky?  Clothing  was  cut  to  pieces,  and  every  arti- 
cle these  devilish  Chinese  had  in  the  world,  was  want- 
only destroyed.  Rifles  and  pistols  were  fired  at  ran- 
dom, in  hopes  of  hitting  some  of  the  fleeing  heathens, 
for  to  kill  a  Chinaman  is  a  meritorious  act,  and  insures 
a  nomination  to  office  ;  besides,  they  were  supposed  to 


THE  JUSTICE.  247 

have  carried  off  much  valuable  stuff  and  money  ;  actu- 
ally robbing  the  mob  ! 

The  work  of  the  mob  was  so  quickly  done,  that  the 
few  law  abiding  cranks  of  the  town  had  no  time  to 
raise  voice  or  hand  to  prevent  it,  should  they  have 
been  able  to  do  so.  But  by  the  time  the  rioters  started 
for  the  brick  yard,  several  " cranks"  had  gathered  in 
Mitchell's  tent  to  devise  some  plan  for  checking  them  ; 
some  of  whom  had  already  advocated  going  to  the 
railroad  camp,  a  short  distance  up  the  canon,  looting 
its  store,  and  killing  the  proprietor,  who  was  not 
inclined  their  way. 

Now  Mitchell  was  an  old  army  man,  and,  having  no 
spirit  of  mob  adventure  at  all,  thought  it  best  to  make 
a  counter  attack  on  the  mob.  It  would  increase  the 
fun,  and  at  the  same  time  engage  what  few  of  the 
population  as  were  not  enjoying  themselves  with  the 
Chinese.  He  soon  had  sixteen  well  armed  men,  who, 
after  electing  him  Captain,  and  handsome  George 
lieutenant,  determined  to  face  the  mob.  Foo  Chong 
and  a  negro  were  volunteers;  no  one  had  suspected 
them  of  being  brave !  but  then  we  are  often  mistaken 
in  men.  After  giving  Foo's  wife  refuge,  Mitchell  put 
out  his  lights,  and  marched  his  men  to  the  store. 
What  ammunition  and  fire  arms  he  found  there  were 
taken  away.  The  storekeeper  refused  to  join,  as  he 
wished  to  remain  neutral.  Mitchell  now  marched  his 
men  at  double  quick  to  the  brick  yard,  and  made  an 
ambush  behind  the  remnant  of  a  brick  kiln. 

The  rioters  were  so  intently  occupied  in  looting  the 
Chinese  houses,  firing  at  random,  kicking  the  boss 
and  his  two  companions  at  odd  moments,  and  prepar- 


248  CAI<ABAZAS. 

ing  to  burn  the  Chinese  sleeping  house,  that  they 
had  no  idea  that  anyone  else  intended  to  join  in  the 
hilarity,  until  the  voice  of  Mitchell  was  heard  above 
the  din,  yelling  at  them  to  cease  rioting  and  disperse, 
also  warning  them  that  if  another  shot  was  fired  that 
there  would  be  trouble.  Just  as  he  finished  speaking, 
a  merry  little  pistol  shot  was  heard  from  the  rioters. 
Mitchell  ordered  his  men  to  aim  high, — for  fear  of 
hurting  a  Chinaman — fire  together,  and  then  to  rush 
on  the  rioters,  firing  their  pistols  from  each  hand.  At 
the  given  word,  thirty-two  pistols  went  off  as  one,  and 
the  men  dashed  from  behind  their  cover,  yelling  and 
firing  as  they  ran — and  there  was  no  longer  a  mob — 
they  had  all,  at  the  same  moment,  decided  to  run  a 
foot  race  to  the  town ;  it  wasn't  cowardice,  for  mobs 
are  not  cowardly  (?)  but  more  to  see  if  Chinese  compe- 
tition had  been  re-established  during  their  absence  at 
the  brick  yard.  It  must  have  been  a  pleasant  sight  to 
the  hidden  Chinese  to  see  the  mob  flee,  even  faster 
than  they  had  been  made  to  fly. 

No  sooner  had  the  rioters  scattered,  than  the  Chinese, 
as  if  by  magic,  emerged  from  their  hiding  places,  and 
the  just  started  flames  of  the  bunk  house  were  extin- 
guished. The  poor  devils  did  not  wait  for  daylight, 
but  bundled  up  the  few  scraps  of  clothing  lying 
around,  and  took  the  Tucson  road,  carrying  their 
wounded  boss  and  his  beaten  men.  Though  tears 
poured  down  their  yellow  cheeks,  there  was  no  sound 
of  crying.  Their  silent  grief  would  have  affected  silly 
people. 

Knowing  that  the  Chinese  would  not  be  followed, 
Mitchell  hurried  his  company  back  to  check  any 


THE  JUSTICE.  249 

attempt  of  the  mob  to  sack  the  better  class  of  tents. 
It  was  not  necessary,  the  mob  had  dissolved.  The 
town,  if  anything,  was  quieter  than  usual  at  this  hour 
That  one  volley  and  charge  seemed  to  have  brought 
to  them  a  proper  realization  of  the  crime  they  had 
committed,  and  many  of  the  more  intelligent  rioters 
made  for  the  boundary  line  at  once.  Mitchell  and  his 
"cranks ' '  visited  the  river  bottom  tents,  and  expressed 
in  plain  terms  their  opinion  of  the  mob,  but  they  found 
no  one  to  resent  the  remarks ;  no  one  could  be  found 
that  had  been  engaged  with  the  mob ;  all  had  been 
lookers  on  merely;  the  other  fellows  had  been  the 
rioters. 

Calabazas  courtesies  not  being  assimilative  to 
Chinese  ideas,  they  abandoned  the  town.  The  Palace 
Hotel  was  rebuilt  at  Nogales,  but  it  had  not  its  former 
grandeur,  nor  flies,  nor  was  Cum  Sing  such  a  chipper, 
good  natured  landlord.  Foo  Chong  and  his  wife 
returned  to  Tucson,  instead  of  going  over  the  Line, 
and  both  are  working  in  their  foolish  Chinese  manner 
to  earn  money  to  repay  that  loaned  him  for  his  disas- 
trous Calabazas  venture. 

Drink  water,  the  ex-storekeeper,  the  '  'tough, ' '  and  the 
other  prominent  comedians  in  the  riot,  skipped  over 
the  Line,  and  it  is  possible  that  in  Mexico,  these 
rioters  will  get  at  some  time  a  taste  of  their  own  medi- 
cine. The  fact  that  the  leaders  of  this  mob,  and  its 
most  active  members,  were  in  debt  to  the  Chinese  for 
board,  washing,  and  borrowed  money,  may  account 
for  their  virtuous  indignation  against  Chinese  cheap 
labor ;  there  was  much  method  in  Calabazas  madness 
fun. 


250  CALABAZAS. 

It  is  but  fair  to  Drinky  to  say  that,  when  first 
approached  to  join  the  mob,  being  sober,  he  utterly 
refused ;  but,  after  accepting  the  hospitalities  of  the 
delegation,  in  the  shape  of  insinuating  and  irresistable 
Mescals,  together  with  threats  of  personal  violence,  he 
not  only  joined,  but,  as  is  characteristic  of  converts, 
he  was  the  most  zealous  of  all.  With  him  disappeared 
his  Docket.  If  that  wonderful  record  is  still  in  exist- 
ence, it  is  about  as  interesting  and  decipherable  as  an 
Egyptian  hieroglyphic. 

The  riot  put  the  finishing  touch  to  the  future  of 
Calabazas.  The  following  morning  a  number  of 
apprehensive  Calabazans  took  up  their  feet  and 
journeyed  to  Nogales,  where  the  boundary  line  runs 
through  the  center  of  the  main  street.  It  was  sadden- 
ing to  see  the  aristocracy  of  the  town  brought  so  low 
as  to  gamble  with  each  other,  or  play  the  doleful  and 
unprofitable  game  of  solitaire.  The  third  day  after 
the  riot,  the  prominent  citizens  could  no  longer  stand 
the  peacefulness  of  the  town.  The  Pantheon,  Coli- 
seum, Golden  Fleece,  and  Big  Casino  were  rolled  up 
and  piled  on  wagons,  with  their  chairs,  tables,  gamb- 
ling paraphernalia,  and  bars,  and  the  procession  sol- 
emnly wended  its  way  to  Nogales,  that  dragon  on 
the  Line,  that  had  swallowed  up  their  friends  and  pa- 
trons, who  now,  in  moments  of  safety,  can  step  over 
the  Line,  and,  free  from  care  or  anxiety,  shuffle  the 
nimble  poker  chip,  or  add  a  notch  to  their  pistol  hilt, 
and  more  blood  to  their  record. 

Of  Calabazas,  the  name  only  remains.  Where  is 
Handsome  George,  Curly  Pete,  or  Bottle  Bob,  and 
Casino  Harry,  the  leaders  of  fashion  and  arbiters 


THE  JUSTICE.  251 

of  that  burg  ?  Where  is  Drinkwater,  the  Judge  and 
Custom  Officer  ?  Where  is  Crandall,  the  good-natured 
and  generous  ?  Where  the  Calabazas  Baby  and  Widow  ? 
the  hurdy-girls?  the  terrified  Kid  and  the  energetic 
Preacher?  the  "Bad  men"?  the  vigilant  Constable, 
and  all  that  went  to  make  that  town  lively  ? 

If  living,  they  are  no  doubt  in  just  such  another 
town,  undergoing  such  other  experiences  and  dan- 
gers, for  their  life  could  not  be  lived  in  a  less  reckless 
or  a  quieter  place.  Their  changing  moods  and  gen- 
erous acts,  their  impulsive  sympathy,  their  cold- 
blooded nerve,  bloodthirsty  quickness,  profanity,  dis- 
sipation, and  horse-play,  remain  as  a  memory  only,  to 
those  that  natural  depravity,  or  a  desire  for  profit, 
caused  to  be  a  part  of  their  community.  It  may  be  that 
an  old-timer,  visiting  the  deserted  site  of  the  once 
lively  town,  can  hear  the  ghostly  yells  of  the  mob,  the 
sounds  of  ghostly  music,  swearing  and  dancing  from 
the  hurdy-houses,  or  the  whistling  of  ghostly  bullets 
through  the  blistering  air. 


U.C.  BERKELEY  LIBRARIES 


